All comics by xxausrottenxx

Profile

 

by xxausrottenxx
12-23-04
well see little girl, santa isn't here, so I'm here taking his place
then who are you?
im jesus, the one who was born 2000 years ago on this date
Don't you mean you were born in April, but your church decided to move the day of celebration to December to compete with the Pagans and Jews?
...your parents don't really love you

 

by xxausrottenxx
12-23-04
I hope you enjoyed the dinner, my dear.
Oh Neal... This has been such a romantic Christmas night. You shouldn't have!
I'm afraid I should have... Because tonight is the night I must tell you my dark secret!
and she just dissapeared? I thought this was supposed to be an interesting dream
well, what was interesting was even though she wasn't real, I could stil see her nipples through her sweater

 

by xxausrottenxx
12-23-04
So apparently I have a stalker
That's crazy
Yeah, someone must really like me.
Or wants to kill you.
Either way, I'd be flattered

 

by xxausrottenxx
12-30-04
MUAHAHAHA! I've got you now! I'm going to chew off your knees and floss with your spinal column!
Uhmm...
What?
well, nothing
its just that when I asked you to talk dirty to me, I had something else in mind

 

by xxausrottenxx
1-05-05
hey, you know what's funnier than the new years?
uh, i don't know, lots of things
the fact that i banged your sister at the strike of midnight!
i have a brother, you fuck

 

by xxausrottenxx
1-20-05
im gonna use my fire fist to do 20 damage
im gonna stick my dick in your mouth

 

by xxausrottenxx
1-20-05
two potions and one ether, thats 20 bucks, you got ID?
well..I..uh..left it in my car
well..did you get it?
no, I got carded
shit, he even with the 'stache?
god I cannot wait until I'm level 18

 

by xxausrottenxx
1-20-05
...then the ghost told me to find the elder of the village, that he'd know..so?
i have no fucking idea of what you're talking about
shit, alright bye
d-bag

 

by xxausrottenxx
1-21-05
so this isn't twilightville?
no you retard this is hell
is there sort of airship that will take me there?
what the fuck are you talking about?

 

by xxausrottenxx
1-21-05
this is final fantasy 11
what do you do?
well..you run around and fight things
oh yeah, and there's no gay marriage allowed

 

by xxausrottenxx
1-21-05
fag

 

by xxausrottenxx
1-25-05
hey asshole!
what?
who are we looking at?
seven priests raping an elk
..oh yeah

 

by xxausrottenxx
1-26-05
either I'm losing my eyesight, or there's a walking penis down the street
thats no walking penis, thats my wife!
ha! that one's funny every time
she's dying of cancer

 

by xxausrottenxx
1-28-05
alright, the job is done, you're saying I'm gonna get 500 dollars for this?
hell yeah! like i said before, euthenasia is more profitable than crack!
you mean with crack, don't you?
...what?
well, the important thing is that they're dead..right?

 

by xxausrottenxx
1-28-05
so you mean to tell me you killed 20 elderly people by making them overdose on cocaine?
...well i wouldn't call it...
...yes, yes i did

 

by xxausrottenxx
2-08-05
say jon, do you think el chupacabra is in these woods?
who?
that monster thing that eats people.
nah, I think Condoleeza Rice lives in the city, actually

 

by xxausrottenxx
2-20-05
i bet you wouldn't jerk it to the thought of your own mom
of course i wouldn't!
fine, see ya later...pussy
wha...I...
fuck it.

 

by xxausrottenxx
2-21-05
What's that you got in the mail?
Says here that ASWAN has nominated me to receive their highest award.
Wow, what an honor!
It also says I need to be at their downtown headquarters in 30 minutes to accept it. Could you give me a ride?
a rimjob and 25 cents? I thought this was the highest award?
I'm a fuckin swan, what else did you expect?

 

by xxausrottenxx
3-14-05
IM GOING STREAKING!!!
WHOO!! SPRING BREAK!
dear lord!
it's my hips, isn't it?

 

by xxausrottenxx
3-15-05
How could something like this happen?
Sir! The witness is ready to speak.
Tell us exactly what happened ma’am.
Well...
*click*
gay.

 

by xxausrottenxx
3-16-05
No, you aren't pregnant... you're just fat.
...
...
And that's why it's two years overdue.
You're so full of shit.

 

by xxausrottenxx
3-19-05
I mean like...I'm a matador, sometimes the relationships with the bulls get intimate...
...It's just something I'm gonna have to live with
PAPA!

 

by xxausrottenxx
4-02-05
I told the pope in a dream once that he's going to heaven.
Aint that just a barrel of laughs?

 

by xxausrottenxx
4-08-05
Hey buddy, I killed and ate your parents last night.
What! Are you fucking serious?
Haha, april fools!
I actually just threw the bodies in that dumpster over there

 

by xxausrottenxx
5-08-05
Say there, Mickelson, what do you think of this shirt?
You want the truth?
Yeah
I have a penis so techically I'm still better than you.

 
by xxausrottenxx, 5-08-05

 

by xxausrottenxx
5-14-05
god damn hippies, sucking up all the good people's air...
excuse me?
shit, this boy has the demonic power of mind reading, I gotta vamoose, and quick
oh, sorry for mumbling. I said isn't it strange how they fixed this bench in front of the window of the pyropedafiliac club
Oh, that's what I figured you said.

 

by xxausrottenxx
5-15-05
Hey, I'm bored. If I changed into a girl, would you wanna fondle?
eh? eh?
Um... not really.

 

by xxausrottenxx
5-15-05
hey bitch! gimme a cold one.
ah..forget it.

 

by xxausrottenxx
5-15-05
holy cow! what the hell are you supposed to be?
I'm an American, now I'm on the moon so make with the damn cheese
Actually, there's no cheese on the moon
Aw fuck the moon then, and shame on the science teacher who tought me this garbage!
So if you'll just direct me to "the man" or whatever you call him, I'll be on my way. I need to have a heart to heart with Mr. "makes the O-face at my wife"

 

by xxausrottenxx
6-17-05
aw, what a cute little chicken
oh shit that broad's eyein me up
hey honey are you just gonna stand there all day or take this date rape pill and come to my van
AAAH!
women..

 

by xxausrottenxx
7-31-05
I'll give ya a penny to tell me who commited this crime
I have no idea.
how about a nickle for a grundle tickle?

 

by xxausrottenxx
8-20-05
hey, there's piss in your blood
blood! haha!
shut the fuck up

 

by xxausrottenxx
8-20-05
do heroin
I've really always wanted to, but I will definately die if I do
that's the sick lottery of life

 

by xxausrottenxx
8-20-05
kill your parents
my parents are dead.
ah, well good.

 

by xxausrottenxx
9-13-05
I, Varg Vikernes, of church burning, murderous, black metal fame, am the most EVIL of all!
No way! I Nergal, Sumerian god of plague, am the most EVIL of all!!!
Hey boys. I'm Paris Hilton.
oh sweet it smells like they're serving carp for dinner!
hot dog!

 

um, hooray?
by xxausrottenxx, 9-13-05

 

by xxausrottenxx
9-14-05
The apocalypse came that day...
And that skeleton ejaculated prematurely
Moh!

 

by xxausrottenxx
10-28-05
life is all crimson pain...
hey bitch, at least you dont have a nail hammered into yer skull!
i scar myself to express my sorrow to the world
i think im starting not to regret hammering a nail into my skull

 

by xxausrottenxx
10-28-05
RAAR!
whoa man are you honestly trying to scare me?
I mean come on, my hands are hammered to a fucking piece of wood for fucks sake!
Go pick on some kind of hippie or something.

 

by xxausrottenxx
10-28-05
death is the only real escape
well, you have a FUPA.
whats a FUPA?
she'll probably kill herself if I told her..
uh, a fat upper pussy area.

 

by xxausrottenxx
10-28-05
so you say you died trying to save people on 9/11?
and you're in Hell...
man, you must have had one hell of a porn collection

 

by xxausrottenxx
10-28-05
dont move an inch or i'll shoot
you dont even have a gun
you have a tire iron, and a flashlight
yeah, so?

 

by xxausrottenxx
11-25-05
i have bigger horns than you
...faggot.

 

by xxausrottenxx
11-25-05
its sorta uncharactaristic for both of us to be at a bar
what are you trying to say?
well I'm a chef, and you're a retard
gotcha

 

by xxausrottenxx
11-25-05
i wonder if inanimate objects can respond to my thoughts?
no, we can't
eh, figures

 

by xxausrottenxx
12-07-05
daddy i want a country for christmas
but son, you already own the most powerful country in the world!
yeah but i want an insignificant country so that if people read about it having a major social fallout, nobody will actually care that much
but whats the point of that
spite
that's my boy.

 

raar! im here for the halloween party!
listen man, this aint no party, you're in Hell.
by xxausrottenxx, 12-07-05

 

by xxausrottenxx
1-05-06
welcome to purgatory, whats yer story..heh
I died giving myself a handjob
you mean to tell me you died while masterbating?
no, no, giving myself a handjob
whats the difference?
I like guys

 

by xxausrottenxx
2-16-06
so, whats the deal on this free trip to heaven
you're looking at him
listen buddy i'm no gay

Showing page 13.

« Previous Next »