All comics by JoeBlough

Profile

 

by JoeBlough
10-10-19
Damn! Even FOX News is on my case, Ivanka!
Don't worry daddy. I'm tight with Sean Hannity & the likes!
Tight? TIGHT? You mean that YOU & HIM have...?
I have, with all of them, daddy! And I mean ALL!
Well if it isn't Patti Ann Brown again? I hope you've trimmed that lil bush of yours since last time we met.
Oh yes Mistress Ivanka. I trimmed it to look like a "$", just as you asked! AND...I brought "nipple clamps"!

 

by JoeBlough
10-10-19
Oh no! Look who's comin'!
I can smell him already!
We better scram QUICK!
Hey, don't leave on my account!
Ya gotta turn the nozzle ON, Putz!
Come to sunny California! Right! Play in the sand & surf. Right!

 

by JoeBlough
10-10-19
Rube says he's going Vegan!
Yeah! I hear he's gettin' rid of all his livestock! That's US, ya know!
Well I sure hope he and Granny are miserable after they ditch us!
Right. They'll be sorry switching to plants!
Only days later, Rube goes missing!
Rube? Oh RUBE? Where are you?
*burp*

 

by JoeBlough
10-11-19
...Guilty!
...and then I got jammed into this can!
Judging by all the blood it looks like you got in a few good licks too!
"Licks"? What's THAT supposed to mean? I'm a lover, not a fighter!
I'm just sayin' that all this blood doesn't come naturally!
It IS when I'm raping a 12 year old virgin!
Duely noted! "Victim is a passive child rapist!"

 

by JoeBlough
10-11-19
Hey Rabbi, wanna buy an "8 Page Bible"?
Begone Satan!
How's bout you Swami, wanna buy an "8 Page Bible"?
May Vishnu have mercy on you!
Hey Father, you wanna buy some "8 Page Bibles"?
Sure, but only if I get a "repeat customer" volume discount & a subscription to "Boy's Life"!

 

by JoeBlough
10-11-19
Skagg is under the influence, as usual!
Trick of treat!
Whoa! Yer one "F'd" up lookin' lil dude!
Fuck YOU Skagg, you druggy. It's me, Timmy, from next door. Now gimme some candy!
Ok. ok...man! Am I trippin' or what? Hey Ma? Timmy wants candy!
So where is Skagg with my candy, you bug eyed crack whore?
Whoa! Skagg was right! You ARE one "F'd" up lookin' lil dude!

 

by JoeBlough
10-11-19
Ok guys, her name is Greta Thunberg & i want her GONE!
Cool!
Can do!
Gotcha!
Makes my day!
Greta Sunburn, eh? Her skin must be a-peeling! hehehe

 

by JoeBlough
10-12-19
For "Breaking News" let's go to our "Lead Anchor" Shepard Smith!
"I fuckin' quit, YO"! Ya kin check me on de outside, how bout dat?
That was, uh, "Whats-his-name" kissing his career goodbye!
Hey! I heard that, BITCH!

 

by JoeBlough
10-13-19
Hey Rags, who was that old time, dapper Dan, gunslinger fella, that wore a Derby and carried a cane? A sorta folk hero figure!
That's EASY, d_bacon. Everybody knows that was Bat Masterson!
I don't think...
He was also a U.S. Army scout, lawman, pro gambler and Journalist too.
Nah! The guy I'm thinkin' of was a real jerk-off!
Oh HIM! THAT dude was Master Bate-rson!

 

by JoeBlough
10-13-19
What's the problem Officer?
The lady next door said you made lewd and lascivious remarks to her.
That's absolutely absurd! I simply went to retrieve my pet that climbed in her window.
Izatso?
I must admit, telling her, "I came here looking for a little pussy!", might have been a poor choice of words.
Geez...ya think?

 

by JoeBlough
10-14-19
Rudy, did you see my new video where I go all "John Wick" on my political & media enemies?
Did I EVER? I think Keanu Reeves better watch his "six"!
Now I'll have even MORE ladies graveling at my feet for sex!
I think I'll make a video too. I'm kinda running low in the "Date" Dept. myself since the tragedy!
Tragedy? What tragedy?
Epstein's suicide, ya moron!

 

by JoeBlough
10-14-19
Spare any change for a blind man?
Blind, my ASS! Get a job!
Help feed a homeless, blind guy?
I wonder if he's a fake?
Now We Know!
Here poor man. Take my hunard dollah bill!
Boo-shit, you cheap ass Chink! KEEP IT! That ain't nuttin but a lousy 5 spot anyhow!

 

by JoeBlough
10-15-19
Well Doctor, did you find one?
I think it will do nicely!
I hope the soldier appreciates this groundbreaking procedure.
We'll find out in a week or so!
Two Weeks Later....
Unhappy? Why? A grenade blew your penis off and I gave you a NEW one!
Yeah...but a 2 inch WHITE one?

 

by JoeBlough
10-15-19
Those who dine on Chinese Cuisine...
Ahso! Here come more customers, Hiromi!
...have always had certain fears and....
I'll go prepare a table!
Hello there! Table for two?
...inside the kitchen confirms them!
Here Kitty, Kitty!
Nooooo!

 

by JoeBlough
10-15-19
Help!
Huh?
Help, I said!! HELP!!
WTF?
*glug glug ugh*
Speak up or Fuck You!

 

by JoeBlough
10-15-19
Father Rocco Bonici & the Undertaker
It'sa past time to begin the O'Brian Funeral!
But the Tenor hasn't arrived from Dublin yet!
I'ma gonna finda somebody to do the music. Don'ta you worry!
See that you do. It's hard to keep this many Micks sober very long.
And then the Irishman hated the music!
Incitin' a riot? The riot twern't me fault! That Dago priest never let on it twer a Mick wake!
Tell it to the Judge, McTavish! Tell it to the Judge!

 

by JoeBlough
10-15-19
Clouds sure can make funny shapes!
Yeah. That one looks like a dog's bone!
Really? Looks more like a 9 yr. old gir's pussy gettin' rammed by 3 huge dildos, to me!
It DOES?
Yup!
You're fucked up BIG TIME, Uncle Phil!

 

by JoeBlough
10-16-19
Oh no, Tarzan in trouble!
Ah-a-ah-a-ah-a-ah-a-ah-ahhhhh!
Didn't you hear Tarzan yelling?
That wasn't HIM! Sounded more like an old lady gettin' killed to me!
This just in.....An old lady found dead at Santa Barbara Ranch of Ron Ely, the 60's TV Tarzan!
Could be old Tarzan is still monkeying around, eh Bob?

 

by JoeBlough
10-16-19
Damn! It's the 2nd Wed. and I gotta mow again.
Quit yer bitchin'. Ya got power tools. What more do ya want?
Hey fella, you know I got allergies, arthritis, lumbago, sciatica, plantar faciitous, and jock itch! I need MORE than power tools!
You're right! I'll get just what you need!
May I be of service?
I need to rent a cheap casket!

 

by JoeBlough
10-16-19
Bars are filled with savy young girls...
Me ruv u wrong time!
Wanna date?
...looking to sell their bodies for what-
Why you want 500 Bhat when rest fucky, sucky, fo onry 10 Bhat?
Cause I'm white, cockless, & only have 3 STD's!
...ever amount they can procure!
White girl steal our tricks!
That OK. Chen a big deadbeat anyway!

 

by JoeBlough
10-17-19
Rags, don't forget your shrink appt. at 9am with Dr. Bhat!
What? Aw shoot, Deb. I forgot all about it!
You can make it if you hurry!
All she'll do is give me another "shrink-ish", self help book!
And THAT she did!
So, Mr. ragu4u, did that last book help solve your problems any?
Kinda, but our bed still wobbles. Gimme a thicker one this time.

 

by JoeBlough
10-17-19
Oust POTUS!
Stop oppresion of the populous! IMPEACH!!!
Look at those do nothin' "Boomers"!
Old fogeys are afraid to get their hands bloodied. IMPEACH da bum.
Geez Ma, ya still rememeber the old days?
Ya mean back when ya had to VOTE if ya wanted to change Presidents? Yeah, vaguely!

 

by JoeBlough
10-18-19
At KSDK News......(I've taken liberties)
I'm Mike Bush and here with the weather is our own Tracy Hinson...
Thanks Mike!
Whoa there, Tracy! Why aren't you STANDING in front of the map like always?
Because a viewer out there claims I do nothing to hide my huge, pigish, distended, highly unattractive, belly underneath my out dated and styleless clothes!
Pish Posh, Tracy! What does one ridiculous, out of touch, viewer matter to YOU?
She's my MOM!

 

by JoeBlough
10-18-19
Melania it looks like Pence is gonna have to step up!
I no worry Donald, he make good President!
No, no, you immigrant, moronic slut! I mean he's gonna have to "pork" you for me while I'm up the river!
No vey! I'd screw Sean Astin first!
I thought you already had.
Maybe so. I get him confused with Micky Rooney!

 

by JoeBlough
10-18-19
You gotta admit kid, Sophia Vergara is one hot babe!
She is? I'm gonna Google er" at home.
Let's see...what was her first name again? Oh well...I may not need it. OH WOW!!!
Why are you searching THAT, young man? Wait'll I see your father!
Well? Did ya get a boner?
According to the website, I could very well get a 4 hour boner. Mom said not to mess with "Viagra"!

 

by JoeBlough
10-19-19
What's wrong, Pops?
Stop calling me THAT. You're a grown God/Man. Show some respect, Son!
So which do you prefer? Jehova? Elohim? El-Shaddai? Yahweh? Adonai?
Whoa, whoa...we're family. You KNOW my name! Use it!
OK....see ya, FRED!
Sometimes I wonder about that boy!

 

by JoeBlough
10-20-19
OK son, when they answer the door we'll say "Trick or Treat!".
This is stupid... but OK, Pops!
"Trick or Treat!" I'm an outer space "Hunter Preditor"!
And I'm ...a...uh...a "Child Preditor"!
Door was SLAMMED & cops called!
Jesus, son, maybe next time go with MINI- Preditor!
Bitch, bitch, bitch!

 

by JoeBlough
10-20-19
At the Office Halloween Party....
Don't tell me! You're a witch! Right?
Oh boy!
Well?
Yeah, Boss. I'm a witch! Great guess!
That's why I'm the boss. I'm insightful up the ass.
Do us all a favor? Next year wear a costume!

 

by JoeBlough
10-20-19
At the Office Halloween Party....
Don't tell me! You're a witch! Right?
Oh boy!
Well?
Yeah, Boss. I'm a witch! Great guess!
That's why I'm the boss. I'm insightful up the ass.
Do us all a favor? Next year wear a costume!

 

by JoeBlough
10-20-19
Are we in heaven?
We MUST be!
What is all this white stuff?
I'm thinkin' it's clouds, maybe!
But the kids are actually on the floor, just under a "Glory Hole"! Too bad!
What's he talkin' bout, Lucy?
I dunno! Hey...my feets are stickin'!

 

by JoeBlough
10-21-19
Psssst!
Huh?
Got a drill? I NEED me a drill!
What the hell do YOU need a drill for? Get a job & BUY one, ya bum!
I'm gonna make a "Glory Hole"!
Well then, why the hell didn't you SAY SO? Lemme get my tool kit!

 

by JoeBlough
10-22-19
It's about time Kaufman named a winner!
"Edoggydog"
Hey d_bacon, guess who won the con...
"Edoggydog"! What did ya expect?
C'mon Rags, ya gotta stop taking these losses so hard!

 

by JoeBlough
10-22-19
How's about givin' JoeBlough more followers, Pops?
No way! That could be seen as favoritism.
Ya mean like how the same 4 people always win the contests?
Are you saying what I think you're saying? You best be careful boy!
Hey, far be it from ME to anger the supreme, high, grand Puba of the universe. I apologize!
Don't apologize to ME! Just hope Edoggydog ain't listenin'!

 

by JoeBlough
10-22-19
Hi!
You don't smell so good, do ya?
That's RUDE! Why do you say THAT?
Cuz ya got no friggin' nose, retard!
Poor pumpkin cried like a baby, kinda!
"sniff, sniff* DAMNIT TO HELL!
SEE? bwhahahaha

 

by JoeBlough
10-23-19
I love these "Allstate" commercials with this mayhem guy.
If you hate hitch-hikers as bad as I do ya better carry Allstate Insurance...hehehehe!
*ugh*
Hey...a guys gotta have a hero!

 

by JoeBlough
10-23-19
Are YOU John Wick...the man who killed 3 guys in a bar with only a pencil?
Yeah, why?
Cause that guy behind you said you're a credit stealing, braggart!
Kickin' his ass is gonna make my day!
Oh he DID, did he?

 

by JoeBlough
10-23-19
8am
Stop complaining. It's probably just a brain tumor, ya sissy!
Sorry, Punkin! I'm picking up my test results now so pray for me about this.
9:30am
I'm so sorry, but these tests show you'll be dead by next week!
Oh my!
10:30am
Well?
Your prayers were answered!

 

by JoeBlough
10-24-19
But I'm just 15 fellas! What if I pass out?
With them tits, she'll bounce right back up!
We should BE that lucky!
I want first crack at er'!
15, eh? Hey, if it bleeds, it breeds!
Hey Kajun! Why's that Codpiece floppin' up n down?

 

by JoeBlough
10-24-19
I'm Friar Tuck! Are you Robin Hood?
I am. Maid Marian will vouch for me!
Rest assured, I'll ask her!
So? What did she say?
Let me put it this way. She said your name IS Robin Hood, but physically, you're more of a Little Johnson!

 

by JoeBlough
10-24-19
Mamas in de kitchen makin' shortnin', shortnin'...Mamas in de kitchen makin' shortnin' bread!
Singin' fee, fi, fiddley aye oh. Fee, fi, fiddley aye oh, oh. Fee, fi, fiddley aye oh. Strummin' on de ole banjo!
Just get on with it and rape me before my hubby gets home & tries to stop ya'll!
So, the damn floozy wants it fast, eh? Then it'll be $25 MORE this time.

 

by JoeBlough
10-25-19
Looks like Bezos fell to #2 "rich guy" at 1.3 billion bucks.
So Gates is #1 at 1.5 billion?
It's cause Amazon just fell 7%.
So it went from ridiculously over priced to just absurdly over priced, eh?
Laugh if you like but I'm selling everything but 100,000 of my Amazon shares.
Let's see $1781.00 X 100,000 = 17 Million.....damn kike bastard!

 

by JoeBlough
10-25-19
Why'd ya pull me over?
Were lookin' for Fred!
Do I look like a FRED to YOU?
No ma'am. Sorry ma'am!
The name is Fred! why?
Oh sweet jesus on a pogo stick...stay CALM!

 

by JoeBlough
10-25-19
Am I in some kinda trouble?
What's in the sack, Fred?
Just stuff! You got a warrant?
We can do this the easy way or....
I'll take the EASY way!
Get in the squad car. We're headin' to the station.

 

by JoeBlough
10-25-19
Sit there and answer my questions!
Comfy, cozy place ya got here!
Belay the small talk, Fred! CONFESS!
Confess? To what? I mean...I'm a chicken!
I don't care how scared you are...spill the beans, Fred!
I want my lawyer, Morris Shenker!

 

by JoeBlough
10-25-19
Well Morris, it all started when he asked my name!
Oy vey, you putz. Did you call yourself Fred again?
Absolutely! On THIS site, it's the only way to get ATTENTION!
You goys vant nuthin' but celebrity. But never fear. I, Morris Shenker, vill smooth this over for you.
That should settle things. Send in this "Sarah" as soon as you two Bozos split...and she better be as good as you say....
Don't you vorry Officer Mulrooney! Jewish goils have unlimited sexual energy & NO gag reflex!

 

by JoeBlough
10-25-19
1990
She's Daddy's lil Princess
2002
She's Daddy's young lady!
2019
You sure take good care of old Daddy!
Daddy, let ME take over. That cock won't get bigger by you just pointing at it.

 

by JoeBlough
10-26-19
In the neighborhoods & cities:
In the rural areas & beyond:
I thought you were gonna lighten up on those Santa Anna winds?
Nah...it's California. They DESERVE it!

 

by JoeBlough
10-26-19
Well Deb, It's almost 5pm on Saturday! Shall we?
Geez Rags ... do we have to?
Ya know, she REALLY looks forward to this all week long!
OK, OK, let's get it over with but I'm gonna use some different protection this time.
Vastly different!
I thought she was talkin' bout "condoms"?
She says if you lay a finger on her I'm to fill ya full o lead!

 

by JoeBlough
10-27-19
At Chez ragu/d_bacon....
I got me a bigly, huge-ish idea, Rags!
Brace yourself! This oughta be rich!
Here's my idea. Since there ain't nuthin' but fake news out there...I'm gonna become a News Commentator!
See what I mean? I wonder what d_bacon will call his show? Don't you?
In case you're wondering, I'm gonna call it ... "The Pork-Opines"!
He'll forget all about it when he sobers up!

 

by JoeBlough
10-27-19
Welcome to St. Peter's Basillica!
On behalf of young boys everywhere, I demand to see the Pope about all the "Pedo" Priests!!
His Excellency is currently training the Altar Boys himself, personally.
Bullcrap! I just saw them Altar Boys and they were all bobbing for apples in the vestibule!
It instills in them the proper form & technique for "service"!
Oh yeah, SERVICE, eh? I got your "SERVICE" alright, hangin right here pal!

Showing page 14.

« Previous Next »