All comics by Makin_d_bacon

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-08-17
Outside Chez ragu/d_bacon.....
Hey d_bacon, the Wizard is here!
You said we needed help with our comics, so I called him!
He's ANCIENT! What kinda help do you expect outta HIM?
I hear you guys in there. You want my help or NOT?
Not with our comics but last night was Kraut & Draft Beer Night so Rags wants to know if we can we borrow that plunger?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-08-17
Gonna see Miss Liza....Gonna go ta Mississippi! Gonna see Miss LI-I-ZA, gonna go ta Mississippi!
Must you sing those old Negro chain-gang songs at work, Toby? Please STOP!
Sho nuff, massa Chuck! Delmar don't be wantin no mo whuppins.
You make me sound like a slave driver! And didn't I tell you that your NEW name is Toby?
True dat Massa Chuck...Toby be spry fo ya'll from now on! Least wise as spry as I kin be wit no mo toes on my feets!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-09-17
I don't get it. All the Freshman boys are dying to take YOUR class. WHY?
It's because I've changed my delivery method!
Hey we both teach English. What makes YOUR delivery method better than MINE?
I do it TOPLESS!
I'm done for!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-10-17
... sang "The Name Game"?
"Dick, Dick, bo-bick, bonano fano fo fick, fi fi fo fick.....DICK!
Oh no...he wouldn't...?
"Let's do Chuck! Chuck, Chuck bo-buck, bonano fano fo fu..."
S-T-O-P!!!!
I apologize, but we seem to have lost our feed from Philidelphia. We'll return to "American Bandstand" as soon as possible.
Andrew Dice Clay shouldn't ever cover Shirley Ellis tunes!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-11-17
Feed me, Seymour!
What the hell does a talking weed eat?
Gimme some Pussy, boy! I love to eat that P-U-S-S-Y!
Seems kinda odd but... OK, I'll see what's available!
...but when mealtime rolled around....
That boy is dumber than a bag o hammers!
Meow?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-12-17
makin_d_bacon & ragu4u ponder.....
Hey ragzy baby, close your eyes and imagine...
Whoa! Imagine what exactly, d_bacon?
Us! Us, smack dab in the middle of a Stripcreator.com Gala-Convention!
Um.....OK! This oughta be good! 3-2-1...
About what you expected?
Yup! Pretty much!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-12-17
Is 6am to early for CNN to begin....
I'm Anderson Cooper here at the home of Kellyanne Conway...
....destroying the image of people?
...to see just how she prepares each day to defend the actions of her boss Devil, I mean, Donald Trump!
Go away, Anderson. I've just flown in on a "Red-Eye" flight.
Really? And just how many MPG's does that broom of yours get?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-13-17
What goes on back there, fella?
Aw nothing. Just having "the talk" with my kid.
Commendable! I'll just leave you both to it then!
Moments later......
Ok kid, get on home to yer family! Will I see ya here again tomorrow?
I guess...but tomorrow, can I spit that stuff out instead of swallowing it?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-14-17
Ivanka...when Pastor Rick Warren gets here let me know!
What? Him again? Wait. I think he's arriving now!
Are you SURE it's him?
Absolutely, daddy!
He has a very distinctive driver!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-14-17
So how is my daughter, Maura, working out, Ben?
She makes way too many big mistakes.
Big mistakes just need big remedies! Help her out!
That's exactly what I'm doing, boss man!
Gee Ben...for ME?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-14-17
We've been best buds for years, Butch! Can't we talk this over?
Mama want make Chicken Pot pies tonight, Diablo. Butchy got no choice.
That better be a chopped up chicken in that box, Butch.
You need trust Butchy, Mama!
But, that night, over dinner.......
Since when do chicken-pot-pies have scales and smell of Cod?
Butchy told me it was a..."Chicken of the Sea"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-15-17
*Knock knock*
Yeah...who is it?
It's the "Publisher's Clearinghouse Prize Patrol" with a check for YOU!
HOT DAMN! It's about time! I needed a surprise!
And an "Arrest Warrant" IS a surprise!
Then just open the door and you'll sure get one, alright!
Hehehehe

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-15-17
Greenscreen use on Budget B Movies...
Lemme see "Spaceship 1"!
Yuk! Lemme see "Laboratory"!
Better. MUCH better! Comfy in there, babe?
I'm itchy as hell! Who's idea was this wool g-string, anyway?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-16-17
Well, I think you're gonna get aquitted Mr. Cosby!
It's only right. I'm one of the rare men left who really know what women want.
And what is that, sir?
Isn't it obvious?
Do tell?
They all wanna be raped sensless and then beat to a pulp!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-16-17
Fear not, Earthling. Tis but a hairdryer!
Then, by all means, dry my hair!
On high, medium, or low?
Let's go for the gold with high!
There! Dry enough?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-16-17
Homage to an older comic.....
Hey babe, wanna see my cuticles?
Your cuticles? That's funny you'd want to show me your fingernails!
That's right officer. He then exposed himself right in front of me.
Really? I'm gonna get to the bottom of this!
YOU said you asked her to look at your cuticles, huh? SHE claims you exposed yourself! Which is it?
Both....kinda. I call my balls "cuticles" when I put make-up on em!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-16-17
You look funny, mister!
It's because I'm horny as a Hoot Owl, my dear!
Wow! I gotta go tell the gang.
What's wrong?
As if your 4 hour erections aren't bad enough, now little girls?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-16-17
Welcome to the "Broke Balls Dude Ranch", ma'am ! I'm Tex. And you are...?
My friends call me Daisy...but you can call me anytime!
Aw gee ma'am, that's mighty nice of ya'll but I can't fraternize...
Oh c'mon Tex, take me round back and wrangle ME like the cow-poker I know you are!
...but news travels fast......
Honest babe, ...I got no idea how she knew!
Likely story, you no good man-whore!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-17-17
Let me say Happy 74th Bithday! Wanna go party tonight?
Sure, I know the perfect place!
And where is THAT, Barry?
"At the Copa, Copa-Cabana..."
I hope he does..."I Write the Songs" next!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-18-17
C'mon...put me in "The Godfather IV".
Sorry Abe...you're a "has been"!
Then remake "Barney Miller". I'll play "Fish" again!
If people could tolerate an old "Fish"....
...I'd cast Jane Fonda's Kuchi!
Now THAT'S entertainment!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-18-17
5am at Chez ragu/d_bacon.......
Vote NOW, to keep the "Talking Pig" or NOT!
What the fu....? I'll bet this is some of ragu4u's bullshit!
Hey L-U-C-Y, get in here! You got some "splainin" to do!
Oh shit. When he calls me Lucy he's got his pork rinds in a bunch!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-18-17
So...are you trying to stifle my verbosity?
He's using big words again. When he can't beat me with logic...
..he tries to dazzle me with bullshit!
Who are you talking to, numb nuts?
Moi? Nobody! Just verbosing out loud.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-18-17
Will the REAL John Wayne Gacy please step forward?
Damnit...how was I to know they'd step BACK!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-19-17
"I was a little surpirsed to come back to what seems to be a waste land of past comic makers eating what's left of the remains of strip creators I use to love so dearly just so they may survive."
Hey Rags....you ever hear of this "Tterb" dude?
He's claiming that Stripcreator.com has become a wasteland of comic eating Zombies!
What do ya call THAT kinda crap?
Accurate!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-19-17
Early M.C. Hammer
"Can't touch this......STOP..................... Hammer Time!"
Can't...
Touch...
This!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-20-17
Inside "Play it Again, Toy Shoppe"....
Whatcha need kid?
I wanna buy my mommy a gift to celebrate the start of the summer solstice!
The summer WHAT?
Solstice! I want a gift that represents the end of one season & the start of another!
But later that day.....
So your mommy couldn't see the significance of your gift, huh? What did that man sell you, anyway?
A broken "Slinky"! Frankly, I don't get it either!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-21-17
How do I look?
The costume is kinky, which is fine but...
...but what?
...but the party isn't till tomorrow. You better go change back into your street clothes.
Hope she's happy NOW!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-22-17
Hey ragu4u get in here. Biped is reposting his old "Retarchie" Comics!
You comin?
Suck it up, you fat assed, jealous cry baby!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-22-17
Offices of G.P. Putnam's & Sons...1968
S. Neil Fujita is here to see you sir.
It's about the book jacket, I take it? Send him in!
Right away sir!
I don't care if Mario loved it, we're just going with the hand!
Hey...NOBODY refuses his offers!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-22-17
Sorry, Godzilla baby, but you're old news, washed up, a has been!
Gee *sniff, sniff*...
YOU? Unemployemnt? No way! Beat it!
Darn! Nobody cares anymore. I got triplets to feed. I gotta do something to get back in the mix!
Then along came HBO & David Benioff!
Yeah, I got two more at home for ya. So how you plan to make em stars, again?
Three words, Godzilla baby! "GAME OF THRONES"

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-23-17
At Chez ragu/d_bacon.....
What's the problem now, Rags baby?
It's those damn Sodoku Puzzles! They drive me NUTS!
You know they were originated in the orient and have stumped even GREAT minds over the years.
Is that a fact?
So your neighbor, ragu4u, just barged into your house and began beating you with Sodoku books, eh?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-23-17
The word is "SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPEALIDOCIOUS", spell "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"!
That's easy! S-U-P-A-R...
That was wrong I'm very sorry! Your turn. Spell "SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS"!
S-U-P-E-R-C-A-L-I-F-R-A-G-I-L-I-S-T-I-C-E-X-P-I-A-L-I-D-O-C-I-O-U-S! Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
Right you are! Not very many could spell that word.
What did you expect? I'm a "Spelling Bee"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-23-17
Even at the office costume party...
So...how do I look?
Not awful but you do have a chink in your armor!
I WHAT?
I'd advise against fisticuffs. I have a black-belt, you know!
...and that's when the clown proceeded to...
Kick my ass....YEAH!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-23-17
You wanna stick that THING WHERE?
In your hiney, to take your temp.
You're kiddin. My Uncle Duwayne uses a much bigger one that he keeps between his legs!
Doctor...get D.F.S. on the phone STAT!
Sometimes he even puts a little raincoat on it!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-24-17
Like my measuring device?
What does it measure? Distance?
Uh...yeah! The distance between your clit & your shit!
Do'h.....
...and then she went and called you guys on me!
Don't those "prudes" just piss ya off?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-24-17
Damn you! Get outside and STAY OUT!
*woof*
Honey, I heard you yelling at the dog! What's he done NOW?
What he ALWAYS does!
Jesus! It's not like the stingy bastard doesn't have 205 others!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-24-17
...for the role of "Snow White"....
Detroit sucks!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-25-17
Hi-eeeeeeeee.....
...YAH!
I'll put you down for twice as many as last year!
I hate these pushy little Girl Scouts!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-25-17
What's so great about being a Shaolin Monk?
It takes many, many years of training, prayer & selfless dedication to join our ranks...
Hey...we got monks here too, so don't get all high and mighty on me!
I see one of "your" monks behind you and I'm NOT impressed.
What the hell does THAT "wanna be" want?
Nothing. He's just jealous!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-25-17
Casting Call for the title role in "JAWS"
Name?
"Whitey"!
Linda! Linda Lovelace!
Why did she even apply for that role?
Because, like a shark, she has the ability to totally control her gag reflexes. She'll find work somewhere!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-26-17
Obviously you don't know who I am!
So who are you?
You'll just have to kick my ass to FIND OUT!
Do I, or don't I?
This is unheard of! Get back here!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-26-17
Man o man does that barn smell, even after I shoveled out the cow manure.
Grandpa Rube?
What the...?
Did ya know I was in the barn?
Maura...you gotta start using the out-house!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-27-17
You vunna hang out?
Sure! Why not?
Then follow me!
Vhat?
I shoulda seen this coming!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-27-17
C'mon Bela...it's called "Plan 9 From Outer Space"!
Any sex scenes?
Absolutely! Elvira has the hots for ya!
Elvira? No vay!
Then who?
Vampira, or I valk!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-27-17
...because I said so, that's why, young man!
I WON"T and I don't care. I don't care. I don't care! I don't care! I don't care...INFINITY!
We'll just see about THAT, Jimmy! Report to the Principal NOW or you'll be suspended!
I don't care! I don't care! I just don't care!
Here I have Mr. Crackcorn AGAIN in my office! So what do you have to say for yourself.
Can't ya guess? I don't care!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-28-17
On the road with the Dynamic Uno...
Porkchop & I are now in West Plains, Missouri being forced to use a "hotel" computer to make our comics & do all our highly secret stuff!
Hey Rags baby, you haven't done anything STUPID like put our REAL personal info onto that computer, have you? That would massivley idiotic....even for YOU!
"Shit burgers"! * delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete....*

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-29-17
There must be something I could do to avoid a ticket.
Actually, there is! I know this fella who's a virgin....
Say no more! I'll rock his world.
ragu4u, please! We have a date!
Hey Rags...lift yer fat ass outta bed. I think some gal from "Candid Camera" is here for you!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-30-17
I'm Joe Scarborough!
And I'm Mika Brezinski!
Melania, I just Tweeted about that Psycho, Joe and that Crazy, Mika!
You'll be sorry, Donald!
Then Anderson Cooper asks....
Don't you feel that "name calling" diminishes the Presidency?
...asked the pompus, liberal, 4th Estate, FAGGOT, fudge packer!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
6-30-17
I'm the Air Marshall! I'll just take this in case it's a bomb.
But a bomb already went off, stupid!
Nevertheless, your possession of it looks highly suspicious!
It's the turban...isn't it? FINE! Go ahead and take the darned thing you racist bastard!
Hey Mister, the pilot said the plane can still land safely!
...and here they said the back-up was wasteful & redundant...HA, I'll show em!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
7-01-17
Home of "ragu/d_bacon"......
Hey Rags! Guess what?
We LOST the latest comic contest by the skin of our teeth!
"FAKE NEWS" is EVERYWHERE!

Showing page 15.

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