All comics by ralahinn1

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by ralahinn1
8-22-17
I say, Percy, did you hear 9 people were shot in Baltimore yesterday, some died.
Really? I guess removing the statues didn't work then.
Go team Baltimore!
Go team Baltimore!

 

by ralahinn1
8-23-17
Honey,what are you doing? It's late, come to bed.
Can't, just got done watching a 15 minute video on you tube to "improve my health", when they could have made a 3 minute video. I need to find something to "un-watch"it.

 

Got confused this morning, I thought the "do not call" registry was the "donut call" registry.
Easy mistake.
by ralahinn1, 8-23-17

 

by ralahinn1
8-23-17
(*Based on a true story)
*Could you pray for a friend of mine? He has a drinking problem, and his wife doesn't like it.
Maybe the wife IS the problem.

 

You mad, bro?
I should pop a cap in yo azz, but it woan change a damn thing!
by ralahinn1, 8-23-17

 

I say, Percy, I just found out that there is such a thing as a "wine glass holder necklace".
Really? Now I guess the mothers of the Antifa basement dwellers will join them in the field.
by ralahinn1, 8-24-17

 

by ralahinn1
8-24-17
(*My idea,not the NFL) Stand by for Actin News-
Today, the NFL announced that they are going to allow special cheerleader dances during the singing of the national anthem to honor America-
We sent a team out to interview players to get their thoughts on this-
Frankly,it's just not fair-
-yes, not fair. How will anyone "take a knee" when a part of them stands up and salutes?

 

by ralahinn1
8-24-17
Stand by for Actin News-
This just in- there is another protest going on-
We sent a crew out to see what it's about this time-
Could you please tell our viewers about this protest?
Poo is prejudiced, man!

 

by ralahinn1
8-24-17
Hey! Where do we go to get in on these protests! "Snow White and the 7 dwarfs"is racist!
Gnome statues are like "Jockey boys" and should be removed from gardens!
Don't get me started on "faeries"!
What's wrong with faries?
What's wrong with faries?

 

by ralahinn1
8-24-17
-and now, an IMG psa from some concerned citizens -
Word.
Y'all wrong for naming a hurricane "Harvey".
Word.

 

by ralahinn1
8-25-17
- And now a regional "home improvement" tip-
Want a trick to keep someone from breaking into your home in Baltimore that works like "magic"?
Put a sign in your yard saying "Job Applications Here".

 

by ralahinn1
8-26-17
The "real" reason for modern protests-
Look, ma-I'm on TV! Hope they let you see this in prison!
Here your fi'dalla, you go protest now. Meet back at the bus later.

 

by ralahinn1
8-27-17
Why do you think Lunch is taking so long in putting up a new contest?
Maybe he's giving you time to think up some good ideas for your comics?
Ha! Like that will happen :).
Yeah, porkchop- when you fly, bahaha!

 

Coming this fall to television,the detective team of "Beans and Rice"-
Ai Carumba, let's roll!
by ralahinn1, 8-27-17

 

Too soon?
Hi, y'all, did your place get wiped out by de big storm, an'you can't get to your stuff? Doan worry, "Looter's haulin'" can help.
We offer "free" haulin'. Doan y'all worry about it. We'll pick it up an' recycle that shiz- jus' doan call de cops if you see us, after all, you got insurance.
by ralahinn1, 8-30-17

 

by ralahinn1
8-30-17
I heard a"sex toy" shop was robbed in Delaware.I can only imagine what happened-
This is a robbery!
Will it just be cash, or toys too?
Toys,too.
Good call.

 

-and now a word from our sponsor -
Today is "National Overdose Awareness Day", in it's honor, I guarantee that sweet Mexican horse can be yours fo' a special price. Doan need da horse? Den visit one of de girls-"Choose yo ride".
by ralahinn1, 8-31-17

 

Hmmm-
Someone sees a banana peel in a tree at University of Mississippi and it causes an incident, but in Baltimore, they don't react to drug needles on public sidewalks.
by ralahinn1, 8-31-17

 

Finally, a holiday to look forward to-
Saturday is"National Bacon Day!"
It can't get better than this!
by ralahinn1, 8-31-17

 

by ralahinn1
9-03-17
Recently, I went by where the statue of General Lee and "Stonewall" Jackson stood in Wyman Park. The base was vandalized again, including someone adding a communist "hammer and sickle".
Seriously? Someone's being played...
Yesterday, I was able to buy a bust of General Lee from a second hand store. It sat there several months. I "rescued" it. I'm putting it on my fireplace mantle.

 

by ralahinn1
9-04-17
Here it is Labor Day, and just after noon, a 22 year old man was killed in Baltimore .
Undisclosed location-
The mayor removed my statue weeks ago, I didn't do it!
Go Team Baltimore!
Yes, young black men, keep shooting each other, and blame "whitey".

 

by ralahinn1
9-04-17
And now, a message from our sponsor -
Hi, you know us as "Party Time Ninja"but now we are also "Antifa for Hire"-
Is your protest bus a little light?
Yo, need a few "extra" BLM warriors?
Give us a call, we are ready to go-
Please have bail for us if arrested for your cause, in addiction to negotiated fees.

 

by ralahinn1
9-05-17
Aii Chiwawah, Meester Trump, I have been in America since I was 10, now you say I have to go?
-and how old are you now?
12,definitely, 12, I leef in my mother's basement. If I go, she loses her welfare and weel have to do de donkey shows again.
Poor donkey! Ok, you can stay.
Can I become a "medical marijuana distributor", Meester Trump?
Don't press your luck...

 

Sorry we don't need hurricane volunteers on the Hershey Hi-way. We'll call if it changes.
by ralahinn1, 9-06-17

 

Sittin'on the dacca de bay, wastin'time...
by ralahinn1, 9-06-17

 

Murder rate in Baltimore as of today- 148 - almost a murder a day...
by ralahinn1, 9-06-17

 

On September 8,2017, a black man in Maryland,set his pregnant girl friend on fire.The woman and baby are in critical condition-
Why did you do it? I thought "Black Lives Matter".
'cause I musta missed that sweet lovin' I got in places like dis.
by ralahinn1, 9-10-17

 

by ralahinn1
9-12-17
Some days-
Hey!*blah* *blah* *blah* *blah* *blah* *blah* *blah* *blah*
*blah* *blah* *blah* *blah* *blah* *blah* *blah* *blah*
...

 

Looters in Tampa will what it takes for "shoe rescue "-
I'm not seeing a "Foot Locker" here...
We must press on an' save those soles!
by ralahinn1, 9-12-17

 

by ralahinn1
9-12-17
Stand by for Actin News-
This just in, foreskins of circumisized newborns are used in some "youth serums"-
We sent a team to a local Mohel to investigate-
Oi,it's true, google it. So when you "suck face" with an older person, you might be sucking a-
We are sorry, we seem to be having technical problems -

 

Did Hillary send you here? No matter, I appreciate you being "willing to do anything" to build the wall, but wouldn't it be easier to make illegals vanish?
You'd think...Maybe if I offer them a job and no welfare, and made them pay taxes?
by ralahinn1, 9-12-17

 

Got any plans for Halloween yet?
Not really, I was thinking of going out and digging up a date around that night.
by ralahinn1, 9-12-17

 

Hillery booksigning-
Why have you decided to buy my book?
There's no paper in the john, and all the employees look busy.
by ralahinn1, 9-13-17

 

Did you hear they will be taking orders for the new I-phone in October?
Praise Allah! I can't wait to build a bomb with one!
by ralahinn1, 9-15-17

 

When Antifa goes up against the Klan-
Cletis, is that you? What the hell are you a doin' out of the cellar,boy?
Uncle daddy?
by ralahinn1, 9-15-17

 

(*To the tune of that english/spanish song I can't think of the title of, popular on radio right now-)
Doctor,come and look at my EREC-TION, I think I should have worn PROTEC-TION,this thing itches, has INFEC-TION come to me?!
Well, I certainly hope the money your mama gave you for singing lessons will be used for this bill-
by ralahinn1, 9-16-17

 

Tomorrow, at the Baltimore Raven's Home opener, free DNA test kits will be handed out- oh, what they may find-
Yo, I took a DNA test that I got free at a football game, an' you're my dad.
Oh, hell no!
by ralahinn1, 9-16-17

 

by ralahinn1
9-17-17
What's a clown to do, first they shut down Ringling Brothers, then they release a new version of "It"-
I know ,right, I hear John Wayne Gacey was in the news again recently,too, they finally identified one of the un-identified victims-
and don't get me started on "Halloween"-
We could always see what the Obama's are up to-
Great idea!
That always cheers us up.

 

Where are you off to?
St.Louis! There's soles to be saved!
by ralahinn1, 9-18-17

 

What if?
We don't want the world to know that really, only 3 people make the comics here.
Why am I here again?
by ralahinn1, 9-19-17

 

by ralahinn1
9-21-17
-and now, a word from our sponsor-
Men, do you think you have "ed"? Well, take this visual test, and you may learn a few things-
There is no crime in having "ed", and a "good" woman will love you anyway, and wouldn't want you to rely on a pill or device.
"Love" is not "sex", they are two different things. In fact, I like a evening of snuggle far better than someone slobbering over me.
Sometimes, it might take a little research too, there's no shame in uping your game by reading a book, or looking at a video.
If after all this, there is nothing happening, see your doctor-
The results are in, you are gay, definitely gay-
Faaabuulous

 

I say,Percy,did you hear that according to an ancient Biblical prophecy, the world will end September 23?
Ah,my dear Reggie,some people say that ship left long ago.
by ralahinn1, 9-22-17

 

Well, well, check this out! ral's got another one!
Thanks ^_^
by ralahinn1, 9-22-17

 

What are we doing?
*shhhh*I'm following ralahinn1 around to find out how she ever got 7 people to follow her.
by ralahinn1, 9-22-17

 

by ralahinn1
9-24-17
-and now, a word from some You tube users-
Hi, I am "Bitchy" from Austin. You know me, I usually complain about one government conspiracy or another-
And I'm "Paranormal" Steve.I like ghosts. I made a special radio to talk to them, but most people think it's just a cb radio with plastic bracelet charms glued on it-
September 23,2017 was a day the world was suppose to end, according to some "Christian numorologists"- any idea why we are still here?
Dunno, I might ask the ghosts later, on the radio.
Long as we're here, wanna grab a beer? Complaining about the government all the time is thirsty work. I'm buying the first round.
This spirit is willing.

 

I'm in love wid da shape of you, though your face looks like nightmare fuel...
I don't know- you sure you got the lyrics to that song right?
by ralahinn1, 9-24-17

 

by ralahinn1
9-26-17
If football players keep "taking a knee""-
I'm going to have you change position in game today-
Why,Coach?
The quaterback "took a knee" in the field a little while ago, and a fan tried to burn his jersey-
-with him in it.
Oh.

 

I say, Percy, did you hear that Kathy Griffin is back in the news, because she and her bf called police to report her neighbor's grandchildren swimming at 9pm?
Really? l didn't know "That's Incredible" was on tv again. lsn't Griffin a lesbian?
by ralahinn1, 9-27-17

 

You know, I don't mind you manly men "taking a knee". I'd "take a knee" for you too- it's faabuullous!
by ralahinn1, 9-27-17

 

-and now, a word from a local bidnessman-
Contrary to what you might think, none of my girls was wid Hef when he died.
by ralahinn1, 9-28-17

Showing page 15.

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