All comics by DragonXero

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by DragonXero
11-04-04
Man, gay men are so cool.
Well, some are, yeah. I think in general they are pretty cool.
They've got great fashion sense, amazing taste in music, great with interior decorating, and they do my hair just perfect. Too bad about the whole ass sex thing though.
Wow. That sounds really familiar.
How so?
Hrm, lemme see if I can remember. You're great at basketball, have a huge cock, dance well, and you make great soul food. Too bad about the low IQ thing.

 

by DragonXero
11-04-04
Oh, here, let me buy you a drink!
Thanks. You're so sweet.
Oh, my, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to spill that in your lap. Here, let me clean it up!
No, no, that's alright, you don't...
I'll be right back with another piece of paper. And a pen...
Damn. I should pretend to be gay more often.

 

by DragonXero
11-04-04
Damn, that guy's hot, and he looks loaded.
Who, Jeff? Yep.
I think I'll go talk to him. I bet I can get him in bed tonight.
Um, hun, I hate to tell you this, but I'm certain that won't work.
Why not? You think he's married?
Hun, I know Jeff. Your cash sensor is dead on, but your gaydar needs a lot of adjusting.

 

by DragonXero
11-08-04
When talking to Liberals:
I voted Libertarian...
WHAT? You just gave a vote to Bush!
When talking to Conservatives:
I voted Libertarian...
NO!! You threw your vote away to Kerry!
When talking to Libertarian / Green / Other:
I voted Libertarian...
Nader here. We may never win, but at least we can piss off the other parties.

 

by DragonXero
11-08-04
Yesterday...
Yo bro, tag, you're it.
Sheet.
Today...
Taig! Joo're eet.
Eeep! But I didn't do anything!
Tomorrow?
Greetings! Tag, you're it.
Fuck beans!

 

by DragonXero
11-08-04
Man, I want that chick over there, but she's way outta my league!
Mate, nothing is truly impossible.
I suppose you're right. I bet if I had something like a Corvette, she'd like me. Bah, I can't afford that.
Mate, nothing is truly impossible.
Yeah, if the Libertarians ran things, I'd have enough money to buy one, easily.
Mate, some things are truly impossible.

 

by DragonXero
11-08-04
Why are there never any decent guys anymore?
I don't know. They're all taken. All those guys who like to cuddle and be with the women they love all the time...
We'll never get dates.
Yeah, maybe we should just be lesbians.
*sigh* I give up.
Good idea! Where's my strapon?

 

by DragonXero
11-08-04
Okay Mr. Kerry, first off, what is your stance on abortion?
Well, you see, when I was a kid, I blah blah blah blah...
Well, that didn't answer the quetsion. What is your stance on drugs?
Um.. what do my constituents think again?
Moving on, what is your favorite color?
Green, no, blue!

 

by DragonXero
11-08-04
Mr. Bush, what is your stance on abortion?
Killin' little babies is wrong. That's what Cheney told me!
Alright.. how about your stance on drugs?
Um, Cheney needs his drugs to keep his heart from dying, so I like 'em!
Alright... what is your favorite color?
Ummm.. can use one of my lifelines?

 

by DragonXero
11-08-04
This is Ildurn. Ildurn has ED.
Hey, you fuck!
But Ildurn was told about Cialelf, and now, Ildurn is happy!
What the fuck are you talking about? I still don't get no hoochie.
Maybe soon, Ildurn's friend Gorin will tell him about our latest antidepressant, Dwarfamil. (Warning, Dwarfamil may cause small penis)
AS IF I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH FUCKING PROBLEMS!

 

by DragonXero
11-09-04
I cannot run while I'm asleep, I trip and fall, and can't escape.
I only fly when no one sees, and fall when dreams cease to feel real.
When I dream of women, they only bring me pain, becoming agents of destruction to the black and white world I dwell in.

 

by DragonXero
12-05-04
Dude, he's totally for you going for her. Just give it some time, he doesn't really want a relationship with her anyway.
Well, as sound as that advice is...
...I think you may be wrong.
*uNF* *uNF* *uNF* *uNF*
I've got some extra lotion and a couple of old DVDs.
Thanks, but I've got plent of my own.

 

by DragonXero
12-05-04
GWAR and Dying Fetus, this show is awesome!
That it is, I'm glad I finally get to see both bands.. but something's distracting me...
*snog* *uNF* *uNF* *snog*
*tee hee*
Let's go mosh.
Let's.

 

by DragonXero
12-05-04
Something doesn't feel right here.
I've got the feeling you don't mean your clothes.

 

by DragonXero
12-05-04
Seems we're the only ones left here.
Hey, I've been this way a lot longer than you have.
That's true. Still sucks though.
Aye. But what the hell are we gonna do about it?
Thank god for porn sites.
Hear hear. I think I'm going to go pillage some silicon valleys myself, actually.

 

by DragonXero
12-05-04
Man, where they hell are they?
Probably up in their room doing the nasty!
Jeez, they can't even wait for their friends to start leaving?
Hey, when you've been apart for three months, it's pretty hard.
Try two fucking YEARS.
Oh, right, well, um, how about when you've become accustomed to it?

 

by DragonXero
12-10-04
Did you vote for the stem cell research proposition?
Fuck no!
Why?! You fucking republicans make me sick!
Actually, I'm a Libertarian. It was going to raise taxes, and I ddin't like that.
You're a sick fucking bastard who doesn't want to help sick people!
Actually, I'm a frugal bastard who doesn't want to pick up the tab for the whole table.

 

by DragonXero
12-12-04
Well, there we go. I just posted the whole thing.
I wonder if she'll know it's supposed to be for her.
Oh shit, what if she actually reads it?!

 

by DragonXero
12-13-04
You the guy who's starting up "createastrip.com"?
Yeah, who's asking?
I'm brad, the owner of stripcreator.com. I'm here to offer to let you settle out of court for.. say... $50,000.
Hahahaha, yeah right. I'm not going to pay you $50,000! Go ahead, take me to court.
Well, then I have no choice but to take legal action. I'll let you meet my lawyer, Dr. Robot.
Dr. Robot? Sounds like a made up name...

 

by DragonXero
12-13-04
Well, sir, you've left me no choice, I'd like you to meet my lawyer. Dr. Robot, if you will?
Hahaha, this should be good.
MR. LEE, TOBOR RECCOMENDS YOU SETTLE!
GAH! Well, um, what if I don't want to settle?
THEN TOBOR WILL MAKE SURE YOU CAN'T SIT ON THE WITNESS STAND!
Point taken.

 

by DragonXero
12-13-04
So, will you settle?
I... I don't know... I'll think about it.
THINK HE'LL SETTLE?
I don't know. Probably not.
TOBOR HOPES NOT! IF HE DOES, TOBOR GOING TO TAKE IT OUT OF YOUR ASS!
$50,000 could buy me a lot of Cherry Flavored Anal-Eaze®

 

by DragonXero
12-13-04
Stop looking at DX's comics before the series is done!
Yeah! That's not nice!
Just to punish you, he made us do another comic.
Wait, this is THEIR punishment? What are we supposed to say anyway?
Sucky suck, fi' dolla.
Again? *sigh* ME ROVE YOU RONG TIME! You fucking happy? You like playing god, don't you? FUCK you're a bastard.

 

by DragonXero
12-13-04
You ever notice that & turns into some weird symbol when it's in the title?
No, not really. You're on drugs, aren't you?
Yes, yes I am.
I never would have known.
Stupid fucking swede.
You'd never tell from my lovely tan.

 

by DragonXero
12-13-04
Y'know, it's not even the 20th yet and people are making Christmas strips.
Yeah, what the fuck? I mean, it's bad enough when the stores do this shit, but...
WHAT THE FUCK?!
God damn you Xero!
Merry fucking Christmas.
That's the spirit.
Hey, I got a Christmas present under my tree. And by tree I mean dress. And by present, I mean pussy.

 

by DragonXero
12-13-04
Welcome to the construct, Neo.
This is just a white box.
Shut up. Welcome to the construct, here, we can make anything happen.
Can you get me laid?
That can be arranged.
Hey baby.
AAAAAH!! I NEED AN EXIT!

 

by DragonXero
12-13-04
Neo, this will be your first training exercise...
Woo! Hey baby!
Creep.
Pay attention dammit!
Shit, even computer chicks got no love for me.
Neo, you need to be aware at all times, do not let yourself off guard. For example, have a look at that redhead again.
RARRRR!!!
GAAAAAH! I think I just wet myself.

 

by DragonXero
12-13-04
Neo, you can do it, just jump to the next building!
Hahaha, FUCK YOU.
I'm serious Neo, you can do it!
Fine, whatever it takes you shut you the fuck up.
Hahaha, dumbshit.

 

by DragonXero
12-13-04
So are we about done with these fucking tests?
Not quite, there's one more. Sort of an endurance test...
What do you- hey, get back here! Where the fuck are you going?
Wonder what she meant by "endurance"...
RARRR!! I'M BACK, "BABY".

 

by DragonXero
12-13-04
So, are you ready to join my crew?
Fuck you. Put me back in.
Now is that any way to talk to you captain?
Fuck you. Put me back in.
Oh come on, you can't really want to go back to that fantasy world, even if it is absent of raping red robots.
FUCK YOU. PUT ME BACK IN.

 

by DragonXero
12-13-04
Well look at this sorry mother fucker right here. Looks like someone pissed in his cheerios. What's your deal, bitch?
I'm in love with a beautiful woman, but I don't think she even knows I exist.
Wow. That fucking sucks dude. Well, I'm off to go breed with about 40 different hot squirrel chicks. Later.
Later.
Next time I come here, I'm bringnig a .22.

 

by DragonXero
12-13-04
Okay, what the hell is your problem this time, bitch?
I wrote this huge letter for the girl I like, and she hasn't seen it yet, and I'm afraid when she does she'll freak out.
God damn, you're a complete fucking pussy. Should I just chew your esophagus out to end your blathering?
No thanks. I'm trying to cut back on squirrel mutilations for this week.
Your loss.
Stupid fucking squirrel.

 

by DragonXero
12-13-04
Hrm, looks like DX wrote a new blog entry.. damn, this is big...
... ... ... "I love you"
Hrm, wonder who he's talking about...
Oh fucking hell no.

 

by DragonXero
12-13-04
Yeah. I pussied out!
You, you are what you eat!
*sobs uncontrollably*

 

by DragonXero
12-15-04
Oh fuck. You're all pissy again, aren't you? What the hell is it now?
I took down the letter I wrote before the girl I like could see it.
Fucking hell, you are a complete and utter pussy. There is nothing more pussy than YOU, my friend.
You just can't understand. No one can understand!
Of course not. We're not all a bunch of hopeless losers like you.
Just keep talking...

 

by DragonXero
12-15-04
Ja. Hallo zere leetle keety. It vould appear zat joo are juzt in time for zee experimeent
What experiment? What's that box behind you?
Eet ees mein experiment box. I vill put joo in zere, and vait an hour. You vill be both alife und dead, according to quantum phyziks.
WHAT?! Screw that! I'm outta here.
I seek not mein leetle keety. I vill be back in an hour to collapse zee vaveform. Und after joo ate zee butter, I hope you ARE dead!
LEMME OUTTA HERE!

 

by DragonXero
12-15-04
Zo, joo survifed zee quantum vaveform collapsing? Oh vell, I haff ozer egzperiments to juse joo een.
You're fucking psychotic!
Hmmm, vell, zeeing as how joo ate zee butter lazt night, I vill use joo for a very zpecial egzperiment.
Uhhh, I don't like where this is going.
Let's zee.. first, ve tie zee buttered toazt to zee kitty's back, zen, ve go up to zee zixth ztory vindow...
I REALLY don't like where this is going!

 

by DragonXero
12-15-04
Schrodinger has taken his cat to the 6th story, and is preparing to toss him out.
Meanwhile, he forgot to remove all life from the box.
He left his experiment running, too. As we speak, a cricket is both alive and dead in the chamber.

 

by DragonXero
12-15-04
Do not vorry kitty, mit zis buttered toast on joor back, you vill zpin at zuperfast zpeeds juzt before hittink zee ground!
Wait, doc, before you toss me out, you should know that cats only land on their feet bec-
Ooops. Next time, I remember to put zee butter zide facing avay from zee kitty kat.

 

by DragonXero
12-15-04
Two hours later...
SCHEIZER! Zee experiment hass been runnink zees whole time, zee vaveform haz not collapsed, und opening zee door coult bee disasterous...
Fuck it.
Zee board izn't goink to like zis.

 

by DragonXero
12-15-04
NEIN, NEIN, VHAT HAFF I DONE?! I DEZTROYED ZEE UNIVERSE!
Oh would you just shut the hell up?
*CLICK*
V-vhat happened?
Your stupid machine just kicked the breaker.
But, but joo splatted on zee sidewalk!
Yeah, I was also dead in your machine too. Nine lives, remember?

 

by DragonXero
12-15-04
Wish I could have hung out with you.
Yeah, well, I was at my family's place with this guy.
*CRACK*
The hell was that?
Oh nothing. Just my soul finally breaking.
Success!

 

by DragonXero
12-16-04
There's something I have to tell you DX...
I'm listening.
I.. I love you.
Fuck off you stupid clingy bitch.
YOU COULD HAVE JUST SAID NO!
That felt too good.

 

by DragonXero
12-20-04
FUIfasdhjlk asdcoiue asdfiuo guincawe gasdoiue asdfiuy vvaisuyd gyuiewa aidfu greaiu asduiy feraiouy freaiuy stauio fastiuy fgraiouy gatsiuy astyiusoa asidtouy asdfoiue! Asdfoiugrewa asgoiu!!!
asfd asdf!
Woiue tweao waer fweaoi astoi?

 

by DragonXero
12-21-04
Hey DX!
Hey.
How you doing?
Well, the ugre to tear out random ovaires has passed.
Um, yeah, I'm just going to walk away slowly now.
Wait, don't go yet, I still feel a slight desire to shove large pointy things into body parts I don't have.

 

by DragonXero
12-22-04
Sucky suck fi- what the fuck?
Huh? What's wrong? I- what the cunt?!
Why are our bubbles round now?
Yeah! This is weird.
Lemme try this out! *ahem* SUCKY SUCKY FI' DOLLA!
ME ROVE YOU RONG TIME!

 

by DragonXero
12-24-04
Merry Christmas!
I don't believe in "Christmas". I'm an athiest.
Uh, dude. Check your calendar. There's not much disputing the *existence* of Christmas. Kinda set in stone.
I only celebrate X-Mas.
Oh, I get it. So by using the Roman symbol for Christ, you thereby make it okay to be an Atheist celebrating the birthday of someone you don't believe in!
Exactly.

 

by DragonXero
12-24-04
Merry Christmas!
KWANZAA you insensitive, non PC fuck!
Uh, dude, this is your parents' house. They're Christian. They're celebrating Christmas too.
Yeah, well, I'm not! Bah humbug on the whole thing!
Fine, you don't get the Lord of the Rings Box Set I got you for Christmas. I don't give Kwanzaa gifts.
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree!

 

by DragonXero
12-24-04
Bored, bored, bored, bored.
What am I gonna do? It's Christmas and I can't even go up to have a little fun!
Oh well. After New Years, a bunch of those assholes who are protesting Christmas will be down here. I'll just sharpen my poker.

 

by DragonXero
12-24-04
Merry Christmas, dude.
We do not celebrate the birth of God's prophets.
So go buy shit. Don't think of it as a holy day. Think of it as another way to support your country.
How will buying things support Iraq?- Ooop...
HAH! I knew it!
Shitbunnies.

 

by DragonXero
12-24-04
Happy New Years!
Bah. What's so happy about it?
It's a time to be thankful for all we have and that a new year is coming. New opportunities. Heh, I'll even give you a kiss on the cheek!
Okay. After that, are you going to hand out snack size bags of Doritos to kids in Africa?
Note to self: Very, very bitter.
What was that? I couldn't hear you over the voices in my head telling me to burn every leaf of missletoe in the county.

Showing page 16.

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