All comics by Makin_d_bacon

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-17-17
Ragu4u, for the Grand Prize "Name 3 famous people born on Aug.17th!"
Robert DeNiro, Mae West and...and...
3 seconds...
...Davey Crockett?
CORRECT! You're the proud owner of a 1989 Yugo! Where would you like it delivered?
I'll pick it up from the junk yard myself!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-18-17
I think Trump is gonna get impeached, Rube!
"Peached"? What the hell is "peached"?
Not "peached"! He's gonna get IMpeached!
What's gonna get him "peached"?
I give up! Yer just senile.
The Nile ain't a sea, it's a river ya old biddy! Ain't it?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-18-17
If I don't get a raise, you'll be sorry.
You don't scare ME you lazy bum!
Me? A bum?
Yes, YOU! A Godly man, such as I, need not keep you in my employ. I have NO fear of you at all!
You don't , huh? I bet the photos I've got of you & that lil "Girl Scout" say different.
If $50 per week isn't enough, let me know!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-19-17
Hope Hicks meets with Trump.......
So, you wanna be my new communications director, or not?
What'll I have to do?
Pretty much nothing. Make NO admissions. Just look gorgeous & talk in ambiguous circles.
Oh...is that all?
There is, of course, the obvious mandatory acceptance of my anal probing at any moment.
Of course!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-20-17
Atta boy, Yeller...sit! SIT!
I'm sitting already...geez!
Now pick up your bone. Go ahead, Yeller. Do it! PICK UP THE DARNED BONE!
Is he blind? The damned bone IS in my mouth. He's startin to piss me off!
Oh no. Not THAT look! You don't got the hdyra-phobie, do ya Yeller? Do ya boy? I better go get my rifle.
Fuck THAT shit! I'm goin to live with ragu4u & the pig!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-20-17
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh wise wizard, grant me the greatest wish of my heart!
Ok, but know I only do one bigish kinda wish per person.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hear that you've got the knack for spinning straw into gold. Is that true?
Not to toot my own horn but, yeah, I'm Y-U-G-E at that kinda thing. Ya just gotta say my name three times!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Then spin me a bale of 24 karat gold & I'll be forever grateful, Mister, uh Mister...?
The name is "Trumplestiltskin"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-21-17
This is IT! We're officially on vacation.
We're in the middle of the friggin desert! Why would we EVER come here?
To make my dream come true and THAT will begin by creating a...
Naturally, it's ALL about her, her, her...
..."Burning Man"!
OUCH..Hey STOP!...WTF?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-21-17
8/21/2017 1:15pm CST.....
Hey Rags, look at all those people outside!
What the hell are they cheering for? And why's it so dark?
You truly can't be THAT stupid. Or CAN you?
If you think I'm paying half for that window tint job you're nuts, pork chop! What?!?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-22-17
Oh no! She's REALLY left me this time!
...but seconds later...
Oh hey...I forgot to give ya this Post Card too!
All it say is..."Just kidding...haha!"
Damn her!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-22-17
Regular occurance in all boys schools.
You REALLY wanna have sex with ME?
You bet I do! You hot n horny little boys make my nipples hard as a rock.
OK! We'll do it in the cloak room.
I'll be waiting all hot, wet, & sticky, wearing nothing but a smile!
But, in reality.....
Your teacher said you were asleep in class AGAIN and had a boner to boot. True?
And I was just about to cum too. My bad, sir!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-23-17
Hey ragu4u... look at this latest travestry that has befallen me!
So...4 people entered a Comic Contest where one was the winner & two got "Honorable Mentions"? What happpened to the poor 4th guy?
If it weren't for "Low Self Esteem" he'd have NO "Self Esteem" at all!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-23-17
I wish everyday was "Bring Your Daughter to Work" day, Jugs!
Jugs? Why did you call me Jugs?
Oops! How bout "Mega-Tits"? Knockers? Triple D's? "Bazoombas", maybe?
Wait here, Lucy!
I think that allowing the children to buy snacks in the plant lunch room FIRST was a bad idea, sir!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-23-17
The Pizza you delivered was cold and had the wrong toppings.
So sue me ya black bitch!
I'm calling the Pizza Palace and I'll have your job!
That's all you people do is complain, complain, complain!
Mrs. Taquisha Jefferson called and wants your head on a platter!
Sorry boss. I guess like the sign on my car says ..."Black Olives Matter"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-23-17
The Dynamic Uno Groove to the Oldies
"What you want, baby I got it..."
"What you need, do you know I got it?"
"All I'm askin for is a little respect when ya get home..."
"Just a little bit.."
"R-E-S-P-E-C-T... Find out what it means to me."
"Sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me...SHOW me a little respect..."

 

NO! We ain't GAY!
We "Aren't", you idiot! AREN'T!
by Makin_d_bacon, 8-23-17

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-24-17
Possibly, in the very near future...
Can you believe they locked us up?
What the hell are we guilty of, anyway?
...things will be much different!
Beats me!
Things have gone to hell ever since the "brothers" took over!
The current D.A. and his assistant.
You DID lock em up and charge em, right?
Sure did! I can't believe folks still think it's OK to go around willy-nilly in "Black-Face"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-24-17
Students today are very clever...
Report to my office after lunch, Mrs. Davis. A student has accused you of "child abuse".
But Principal Murray...
...and wisdom cometh with age.
Save it for later. I'm now going to a meeting with your accuser!
But who? What? Where? Why? When? I'm just so devastated! *sniff* I love all my 4th graders! *sniff*
Mr. Murray & the 18 yr. old 4th grader...
...and after she body slammed you to the floor and kicked you in the testicles, what did she do?
Well dat vicious bitch had a 45 in one hand and a machete in the other. She then proceeded to thrash me about my head and uppa body! Ya feel me?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-25-17
I don't want ANY mistakes! Get me the Scottish Hit Man!
Right away boss.
Make sure to get him ONLY! He's the absolute BEST!
Gotcha, boss man!
What's so great about Scottish hit men, anyway?
It's our guarantee! When we've kilt somebody, you can bet they STAY kilt!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-26-17
Never bring a knife to a gun fight, stupid!
I'll take my chances...go ahead, make my day!
Damnit!
Well...what'cha waitin for?
It appears I've forgotten to rack the chamber.
NOW who's stupid?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-26-17
Sorry Maura but they gave ME the promotion!
They did? Why? I scored 100% on the written test!
You're kidding! She lasted one full hour, in ALL 3 orifaces, from each Dept. Head AND she swallowed?
And those tits...they just don't quit!
They were impressed by my ability to handle their work "load" capacity!
Yeah...I'll just bet they were!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-27-17
Inside Chez Lunch.......
Shit!
You can run but ya can't hide, Lunch!
You gotta leave me be! I'm a victim of circumstance!
Your about to be a victim of "Lithuanian Circumcision" and THAT has NO happy ending. I'll leave you 1/2 the man you were.
That'll STILL leave me with 6 inches more than you, LOSER!
Now ya really done went and pissed me off!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-27-17
Really...I had no idea my comic would in!
Save your breath while you can, Lunch!
You and that creepy little pig aren't actually gonna snip me, are ya?
What'dya think, d_bacon?
Well?
Do you really gotta ASK? If I had thumbs, they'd both be pointing DOWN!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-27-17
That's it, you two. The cops are enroute!
This isn't over. You have yet to feel the full wrath of our Lithuanian Venom at work.
From what I hear, the only thing smaller than a Lithuanian's brain, is his PENIS!
Go ahead. Keep it up. We fear nothing...absolutely NOTHING!
But the truth is........
Tell it to the coppers, boys! Boys? BOYS?
There's nothing out here, Mr. Lunch, except two huge puddles of pee!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-28-17
So little man...looking for "Tom Sawyer". "Old Yeller" or maybe "The Jungle Book"?
Nah....just browsing. You can leave now.
Fine! Have it your way.
She NEVER tells where they keep the porn, kid!
What a cunt!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-29-17
...U.S.A. circa 1960's
You called me, dad?
Yes Wally. I'm afraid Beaver is starting to test his boundaries in risky ways.
Jeepers, dad...what makes ya say THAT?
Right now he's with that sexual deviant Eddie Haskel & there's no telling what he's hearing!
...and then I bent your mom over the kitchen table & packed her fudge so tight that she got a sore throat yelling..."Gimme MORE"!
That's neat-o, Eddie! Lumpy Rutherford says he loves it when you do that to HIM, too!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-29-17
So what was the cause of death doctor?
His heart gave out from the Viagra!
I do hope you were able to get his erection to suside!
It was massive but with modern science, there's always a procedure!
Nice work doctor. That guy was hung like a Clydesdale.
I know! They'd never get the casket closed!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-30-17
But...?
Shut up!
You can't talk to me like that.
Why not? You ain't nuthin but "white trash"!
He does have a point!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-31-17
Having fun at the church Labor Day picnic, Timmy?
I guess, but where is everybody else?
They weren't invited. Only YOU were because you're special & get special privliges!
Privliges, huh? Like what?
Well...like being able to trot around naked from the waist down.
Honestly, that kinda sucked & hurt a little too. Especially, when you insisted on doing it yourself during our leap frog game, but that K-Y stuff really helped.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
8-31-17
At Home with ragu4u & makin_d_bacon
I've noticed that your followers haven't increased in ages.
Oh really? I didn't know you could even tell how old my followers are!
What is this numb nuts talking about?
Come to think of it, the age of ALL my followers increases every second. So THERE, smarty pants!
Why do I even bother?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-01-17
Welcome to "Chen's Chop Suey"!
I say, old chap...didn't realize I was in "Chinatown"! I was wanting Tacos!
Wait here...
I'd rather not eat a Taco made by...
Ola & welcome to Teo's Tacos".
Oh my! A Mexi-chink, is it?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-01-17
I dare ya to grab her ass!
Gladly dude!
3...2...1...
She shit in yer hand, didn't she?
Look! She had corn & peanuts for lunch!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-01-17
Hiromi breaks the news....
I wonder why they call it "Labor Day"?
Maybe they named it after the immeasurable pain women suffer during childbirth as I will feel in just 9 short months!
Ah, so you got bun in oven, eh? Cool! But don't expect Chen to fall for that "immeasurable pain" bullshit!
Did he actually say...
So now...on a scale of 1 to 10...how's YOUR pain?
Fuckin immeasurable!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-02-17
First there is friendly chatter....
So you're the new Astronomy teacher, huh?
Astronomy? No...why would you think THAT?
...then the bait gets thrown.....
It's obvious!
Really? How so?
...then he's caught, hook, line & sinker!
With jugs like THOSE if anybody knows the "MILKY WAY" it's YOU!
You filthy minded little boy! Get your thoughts out of the gutter & come watch my naked trampoline workout.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-02-17
I said, drop down and gimme 20 young fella!
Hey, I'm a reporter, not a player! But OK, I guess...
???
I can't (huff) believe (puff) I'm actually doing this!
...and THEN he made me drop down and give him $20 to blow him!
I could be wrong, but I think he maybe wanted push-ups!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-02-17
So how, exactly, are you going to make America great again?
It's simple. Blah de blah de blah blah blah. De Blah blah, blah blah blah...
Sorry to interrupt but there's a far easier way!
And what might THAT be, Anderson?
You could just LEAVE!
Get this gay, Fake News BOZO outta here, PRONTO!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-03-17
Actually, I CHOSE to be here!
Right! And why is THAT?
The judge gave me a choice between "Community Service" or to come into..
...our "Penal Colony"! OK!
So bring on the penises, big boy!
Hey Tyrone...sashe' on over here. This new guy has an opening (or 3) for ya!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-03-17
...during a rain delay!
Hi folks. I'm here with a "Pirates" fan.
Avast ye matey! Where be that hotty sportscaster Kimberly?
She's up in the pressbox...uh...working!
Is that so?
See...that's her up there on her knees!
Ahoy there Kimmy! Thar she BLOWS!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-04-17
Sept. 3rd, 2001 NYC.......
Yo, Haji, gimme a pack o "Lucky's"!
But don't you realize, infidel, that "Camels" are made from the finest Turkish tobaccos?
Yeah? So frikken what? I want "Lucky Strikes"!
I'm afraid we're out. Come back in eight days at 8:05am!
That's a hellofa wait, Haji! Why so long?
Because you want "Lucky Strikes" ...and if all goes as planned that's the exact time I expect them to arrive.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-04-17
Why doesn't my "#5 Meal" look like the picture on the overhead menu?
Uh...I'm sorry sir. Would you like a different one? Or maybe you wanna see the manager? I'll get him!
No god damnit! None of the food here EVER looks like what's in the menu or on your TV ads! Therefore I'm gonna "F" this place UP!
NO! Don't do THAT! I'm coming out and I'll give you ANYTHING on the menu you want totally FREE!
I just told ya the food all looks like shit! So here's what I think about THAT free food idea of yours!
No...Don't shoo...

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-05-17
The keyboard is all sticky...AGAIN!
What the hell is wrong with you Rags? You gotta get another hobby!
C'mon d_bacon...what's wrong with me watchin cartoons once in a while?
Cartoons, huh? So why the spooge all over the keys?
It's called "Hentai"! Our buddy Chen hooked me up!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-05-17
A Bar in Tijuana.....
Ola Senor! I need some female companionship!
How much you got to spend, Gringo?
I think I got enough for a bottle of your best Tequila AND hot sex!
Then follow me, hombre!
Hey buddy, there's a COW in there. I ain't having sex with no COW!
Aye Chihuahua! I gave you the best Tequila so a COW is all you can afford! Yankee bastardo!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-06-17
So, what do you think about Rami Malek doing Freddy Mercury?
So Rami is a Necromantic FAG?
A what?
Don't look at me like THAT! YOU brought it up!
Forget I said anything, ya creep!
Yeah, right! How am I supposed to UN-ring THAT bell?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-06-17
What's wrong officer?
Do you know there's a sign hanging on your bumper that says..."I suck big dicks"!
I didn't know that, but you can have it back if you want!
?
But I didn't DO a thing!
My guess is, it was something you SAID!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-07-17
You look so sad!
I am!
Why?
Another girl is coming.
You should be thrilled. Two girls & one guy! Who is she?
Oh shit! Here comes IRMA now!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-07-17
Bad boy, bad boy, whatcha gonna do?
May I help you, officer?
Don't sass me when I'm arresting you boy! I know YOUR type!
Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna ..
My TYPE? If I may be so bold, what type is THAT, sir?
Do I hear more backtalk? THAT'S IT! You're resisting arrest & I feel threatened!
...do when they come for YOU?
You're his WHAT? His lawyer? He doesn't need a laywer!
That's exactly why I'm here! Because what he DOES need is a mortician!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-08-17
ragu4u & makin_d_bacon ponder....
Rags baby, I been thinkin! Are we intellectual enough to be makin comics here?
I must admit d_bacon, some of the latest entries ARE rather "deep"!
So wha'dya think? Do we "UP" our game or stick to racist/fart humor?
As Shakespeare once said..."Therin lies the rub"! We MUST consider the good of mankind!
So then racist/fart jokes it is! I'll get the beans.
And I'll get our Klansmen robes!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-08-17
What's THIS?
Looks like you and ragu4u are getting evicted!
Rags.....wait'll you here THIS!
Us? Evicted? Why, d_bacon?
It may have something to do with the pie we baked for our black landlord. You know...the one we made using 3 bottles of "Miralax".

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-09-17
In South Florida with the Burglar Bros.
Can ya believe all the old Heebs have headed inland to higher ground?
That just means more loot left behind for us!
We best get to cleaning out their condos before the storm hits.
Right. I'll bet all them gold Menorahs will be worth a fortune!
Later, at the Pawnbroker's.......
Is that ALL you'll gimme? But the Menorahs are FREAKIN GOLD!
Gold "PLATED", my goy friend! Gold "PLATED"! You know how sneaky us cheap ass Yids can be!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-09-17
Look, we got an evacuation going on here!
But he's hungry and he's very special!
SO? You can't just stop traffic to feed some snot nosed little baby! Move it or you'll be sorry!
...and then, when Officer Dave called your son " a snot nosed little baby"...I took him out!
Who's sorry now, Officer Dave? Who's sorry NOW?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-09-17
It's sort of a catch-22, isn't it?
I know it's tough....
Don't feel bad. It HAD to be done
Like THAT'S supposed to help?

Showing page 18.

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