All comics by ralahinn1

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by ralahinn1
2-16-18
Stand by for Actin News-
Breaking news out of Baltimore Co. Md.-The family of Korryn Gains just was awarded 37 million dollars from an all female jury -
This was the woman who was killed threatening police with a shotgun while streaming the standoff live-
Hey,do you think the remaining members of the Freddie Gray family,since the stepfather died recently from "unknown"causes-
-might be a little upset they only got six million ?
Meh,probably ,but what can they do,riot?

 

-and all this can be yours for $19.98,plus shipping and handling .Such a bargain for under $20!
Nope. Going to a thrift store or yardsale,where I can get it for $5 or less^_^
by ralahinn1, 2-18-18

 

by ralahinn1
2-18-18
Stand by for Actin News-
This just in, African -Americans are showing up at the "Black Panther" movie dressed in traditional African clothes-
They are calling the movie a"cutural event".We sent a team out to investigate-
Hi, we are at the arcade next to the theater with someone who has just seen "Black Panther" -
You mus be racist,to think that jes because I'm dressed this way-
No, I don't ,sir, the movie was based on a comicbook character invented by two white men-
Nooooo,bamboozeled again!

 

by ralahinn1
2-18-18
Timmy's questions-
I have a question-is it ok for white kids to own "Black Panther" action figures?
Well, Timmy, I guess I have to send you back in time,so you can talk to Socrates-
At a secret location-
I'll just inject you with this,and send you on your way-
Ancient Greece -
Sir,is it ok for white kids to own "Black Panther" action figures?
What the hell is "Black Panther"?

 

by ralahinn1
2-19-18
Hello,we'd like to know what is in that "secret sauce" you serve?
I'll take you in back,you can talk to the chef.
Hi, I'm from Actin News- and we'd like to know what is in that "secret sauce" you serve.
Only the freshest, most natural ingredients,now, if you join me in the back room, I'll be willing to show you.
Aren't you coming? I'm ready to make a fresh batch.
Nope-I think in this case, it should remain a "secret ".

 

by ralahinn1
2-19-18
After diagnosing you I recommend this medicine.
I saw a commercial for that,won't it give me more problems?
Yeah,but you won't complain about the first one any more.
What if I changed my diet?
-you could, but food stores don't pay me for their products,pharma does,so,can you give this a try?
Nope.

 

by ralahinn1
2-19-18
Upstairs-
Son,since Easter comes on April 1st this year, I thought up a good game.You go visit Earth.
But dad,didn't you promise them you'd never cause a flood over the whole Earth again? The Dems and Muslim would crap themselves!
Good point.

 

by ralahinn1
2-19-18
Stand by for Actin News-
Breaking news, USA Today has announced that Baltimore is the most Dangerous city in America -
It looks like a big year for Baltimore,since for the second year in a row,Orkin voted Baltimore the number one bedbug city -
We sent a team to Baltimore -
After hearing this news,what are you planning to do?
I'm going to Didneylan',mofo!
Good job Baltimore, but the work's not done-go for the Gold!
Go Team Baltimore!

 

by ralahinn1
2-22-18
Somewhere in Baltimore -
It's jes' not fair,arresting all dem people jes'cause they black?
They were arrested because they are criminals.
But deas black,right?
Your point?
Racist .

 

by ralahinn1
2-22-18
CIA Headquarters-
I want to congratulate you sir, on all our new projects-
The legalization of both "medical" and "recreational" marijuana was genius,on top of the "Opioid crisis". What's next?
Phone psychics and therapists. Let the uninformed hang themselves.

 

by ralahinn1
2-23-18
-and now a word from Steadman Graham -
Hello, I am Steadman Graham, Oprah's boyfriend who you usually don't hear about,unless a story comes out that "O" a lesbian-
Well,she's running for president,and I plan to kill the rumor that Michelle Obama will be her running mate, it's Dr.Phil-
-I'm goin' to make an epic first lady.

 

by ralahinn1
2-23-18
Stand by for Actin News-
This just in -the Florida officer who didn't help stop the school shooting has resigned-
We sent a team out to investigate-
What are your plans now?
I honestly don't know how you found me. I'm dressed like I was that day-
I guess my only options are to move in my parent's basement,if they let me,and change my name to Barney Fife.

 

by ralahinn1
2-23-18
Stand by for Actin News-
This just in, a woman went on a rampage and burnt down 20 houses in her own neighborhood,after a divorce judgement-
This happened in Georgia. Luckily,only some animals lost their lives.
Go Team Georgia!
No humans died this time,but you got spunk. Go Team Georgia!

 

Avast,ye son of a sea dog,batten down the hatches-Random Comic Lay-out Guy is a postin' like a big storm's a brewin'!
Aye, Captain!
by ralahinn1, 2-24-18

 

I say,Percy, Random Comic Lay-out Guy hasn't posted for a few howers,do you think he's asleep?
Most likely passed out drunk.
by ralahinn1, 2-24-18

 

by ralahinn1
2-25-18
Stand by for Actin News-
Breaking news- We may finally have a difinative answer to the "Russian collusion"question-
We sent a team to investigate-
Mr. Lebowski,is it true you had a"Russian connection" during the last election?
I sure did, after looking at 8 years of the Obamas,and the Democrat line up in the last presidential elections, I had more"Russians" than usual. I'm having one now,join me?

 

Hey,kid,come here, I'm packing primo Tide pods. Like a taste? First is free.
by ralahinn1, 2-25-18

 

by ralahinn1
2-25-18
Coming soon on PBS-since everyone knows all the "legal" Stoners need something colorful to watch -Mr.Bepimpin's Hood-
What a butiful day, I made it home alive-
Hi,neighbor ,today's show is brought to you by the letter N and the number 69
N is for "nookie" das good enuff fo'me. Wanna know what else N is fo'?
Doan you say it, I'll put a cap in yo azz-
Now let me go explain de number 69,now where are de white wimmen?
Why I'm here to explain it too, faabuulous!

 

by ralahinn1
2-26-18
Say,what you got there sport?
Some of us got an early copy of Michelle Obama's memoir to preview,before it come out in November .
Can I have a piece, I need to go to the bathroom .
I dont know-
I'll give you a nickle.
Wait, do you want change?

 

Qute from an actual "black" person-
You know the "real" reason they made the "Black Panther" movie is so no black actor will have to play Batman or Superman.
by ralahinn1, 2-28-18

 

Me waiting for "Atom Universe" to load-
by ralahinn1, 2-28-18

 

What do you mean it's all "fake news"?
by ralahinn1, 3-05-18

 

by ralahinn1
3-06-18
I say, Percy, did you know it's primary election day in Texas?
I can just imagine how that will go-
I am here to vote,aiii carumba
You voting today?
I sure am, and my friend zombie will be here later to vote.Lucky we're all democrats

 

by ralahinn1
3-06-18
It's almost Spring,and we in Baltimore know what that means-
Gay Pride events-
Faabuulous!

 

Yesterday,in northeast baltimore,someone shot at an ambulance .
No one got hurt,but I tip my hat to you for the effort. Go Team Baltimore !
by ralahinn1, 3-08-18

 

by ralahinn1
3-08-18
I say, Percy, any idea why the site went down a few days?
I haven't heard a thing about it,Reggie ,perhaps one of the sterling gents here will tell us?
Bahahaha !
Bahahaha !
ralahinn1 waiting for an answer as to why the site was down-

 

by ralahinn1
3-08-18
Stand by for Actin News-
Greetings, today media sources in Baltimore are reporting that the mayor has found money to help illegals-
She plans to fund lawyers for those facing deportation-
Here is the mayor greeting a possible client-
Aii chiwawah, I am most grateful that you are giving me a lawyer,now I must go, my Cadillac low rider, she is double parked-
-and we meet with a local citizen, for his reaction-
Hi,I'm from Actin News-
Can't help you, I have no tv. I'm sorry to rush,but got to go to the soup kitchen before it closes-

 

by ralahinn1
3-08-18
President Trump gets a messenger from North Korea-
Our great l.eader wishes to make peace talks.
Tell him, I am open to suggestions-
We've seen this before-
It's wabbit season-
Duck season!
And it ends about the same-
Thanks for the money. We had a nice talk, I'm taking my bomb and going home now.
Well played,sir. We making threats again in a few months? Gee, I hope so.

 

by ralahinn1
3-09-18
Netflix announces that it will allow the Obama's to make original programs for it's streaming service-
Hell no!
Now wait, it might not be so bad-
This week on "the Obama's" ,let's cue up our theme music,which sounds like "the Addam's family",as we welcom Hillery!
Greetings, thanks to the Obama's for giving me this platform, to run for president again!
They're creepy and they're cookie...

 

by ralahinn1
3-09-18
On "International Woman's Day", CNN had Bruce Jenner talk about the "hardships of being a woman"-
Well, let's see,you can't write your name in the snow-
Yeah,preach it!
You ever watch "Family Guy"? That poor maid runs out of "lemon pledge", how traumatic!
The poor woman!
The worst thing,is woman can't lay around in briefs all day, scratching below, drinkin'beer,and watching sports.
Teh humanitee!

 

by ralahinn1
3-10-18
You may remember some time ago, Baltimore city workers removed the Jackson /Lee statue in the middle of the night-
Well, today,in Wyman Park Dell, they dedicated the area to Harriet Tubman. I imagine,it will be popular with dog walkers.
You think the black on black murders will stop?
Nope
Go Team Baltimore!

 

by ralahinn1
3-11-18
Say, Officer,did dedicating a part of Wyman Park Dell to Harriet Tubman end black on black murders in Baltimore ?
Nope.
Go Team Baltimore!
Go Team Baltimore!

 

by ralahinn1
3-11-18
Say,did you know Net Flix is going to have a new version of "Lost in Space"?
Faabuulous!
Danger Will Robinson ,the gays love you!
Don't they watch for Doctor Smith?

 

by ralahinn1
3-13-18
Yo,what you planning for the school anti-gun rally walk out tomorrow ?
I 'm planning to take the whole day and play COD,you?
.
Need you ask? Bahahaha !
Bahahaha !

 

Toys r Us are closing all their US stores-
Good bye Toys r Us!
I got a condom,want to play with that?
by ralahinn1, 3-15-18

 

by ralahinn1
3-18-18
Ask someone else, I doan feel like trainin'someone an'gettin'harrassed-
Nope
Rashnese,it's up to you- could you train him?
Hello,I will train you in the fine art of Tech Support-
Faaabuuulous-

 

by ralahinn1
3-18-18
Well,f you won't get out of the basement to get a job, take up a protest,like the anti-gun protest your brother goes to-
Can't go to the "anti-gun"rally, I'd be shot!
See-
Darn right,and don't bring your "friends" here either.
I just don't know what to do anymore-
Maybe you should get a job,fix this basement,and give us an allowance,so we can buy beer,and stuff?

 

by ralahinn1
3-19-18
An IMG true story-
And today's scandal at the FBI is...
30 years ago, I filled out an application to work ar the FBI in DC . I didn't want to really,so used having a young daughter,and the trip to DC,each day,as an excuse for not taking the job-
I only filled out the application,because I was in a government "job training" at the time,and they made us fill out aplications. Look at what I would have had to work with- Comey-
I got a book coming out in a few days, I hope you like it, I tried hard to color in the lines. I had to talk about that bad man Trump sometimes too, though he still scares me-
And among all the other scandals, Andrew McCabe,who got fired a day before retirement-
You're fired!
Darn it!

 

by ralahinn1
3-19-18
Ah, Spring break, my favorite time of year. So many dumb students on break dying under "mysterious"circumstances,or just vanishing-
If more of them stayed home,instead of going to a foreign country they don't know,and acting like jerks, I'd have less work.

 

by ralahinn1
3-20-18
I saw a post on Facebook last night that some group says the world would end June of this year,according to the Bible-
I guess they didn't get to the part that said "No man" would be aware when the world would end-
Unless one of my "chronic" illnesses gets me, I think I'll still be posting in July-God willing ;).

 

Second day of Spring 2018,in Baltimore-
by ralahinn1, 3-21-18

 

by ralahinn1
3-23-18
Stand by for Actin News-
This just in, people are leaving Baltimore in droves-
The latest decline in city residents began during the recent riots. Let's go to our team for a report-
Bye, Mofos!
Hello, I'm with Actin News-
Go Team Baltimore !
Go Team Baltimore!

 

You brought up a bozo,the founder of Toys r us, and the founder of Blockbuster in the past few days?
I thought your son should have a nice Easter party.
by ralahinn1, 3-23-18

 

by ralahinn1
3-24-18
Alright,as part of the "Anti-gun"protest today,we are registering people to vote-please line up,and state the party you want,so you get the right form-
Democrat
Democrat,aii chiwawah!
Democrat
Democrat
Democrat,and could I have an extra form? My friend is a zombie, and slow,no use for you to wait.

 

by ralahinn1
3-25-18
And now,a word from our sponsor -
Hello, you know me as a world famous financial adviser ,but instead of a big building of my own, I still have a suite at the airport-
Weekly fun tip-instead of buying that gift your love one has been begging for,set up an investment account with me,they will thank you.
Don't you dare-
Can't I even think about it? You don't really need another game system,do you?

 

by ralahinn1
3-26-18
Stand by for Actin News-
Good morning,we have a surprise for our viewers-
Yes, the porn star Stormy Daniels has decided to spend time with us,lets go to our crew-
Hello,Ms. Daniels ,why are you trying to wreck the reputation of the current president?
In my field,we survive on our looks,and I'm losing mine,I need a new gig-
Like right now,I could blow someone for a cup of coffee,want to take a walk on the wild side?

 

by ralahinn1
3-27-18
-and now,a word from our sponsor -
Hello, You may know me as a part of Actin News,I have probably never been in your town,but when a businessman offers to pay me who can say no?
That's right I'm here to offer my services to everyone in my home town- and you know it's legit,because here I am with a famous journalist .
Look, I can't do this, you need my partner-
-ok-
Hello, You may know me as a part of Actin News,I have probably never been in your town,but when a businessman offers to pay me who can say no?
That's right I'm here to offer my services to everyone in my home town- and you know it's legit,because here I am with a famous journalist ,and hopefully,she will join me for dinner and drinks later.

 

by ralahinn1
3-27-18
Stand by for Actin News -
This just in, a liquor store in Baltimore was shut down because they also sold drugs-
We sent a team out to talk to a local businessman about this-
Dem boys weren't doin'anything different than a lot of people here.It's bidness as usual. Now what are peeps goin'to do on opening day Thursday?
Selling addictive poison to your own people. Go Team Baltimore!
Go Team Baltimore!

 

by ralahinn1
3-29-18
A Baltimore Senator is going to go on trial for corruption! I'm betting he's a Democrat.
Oh, say it ain't so!
Go Team Baltimore!
Go Team Baltimore!

 

The infrastructure is bad.
No sh*t Sherlock
by ralahinn1, 3-30-18

Showing page 18.

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