All comics by BadlyDrawnBoy

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by BadlyDrawnBoy
6-16-04
Don't you hate it when your reading random stripcreator comics, and it's clear that the writer was lazy or stupid?
How so?
Just stupid mistakes fall through, that if the creator took a second look, even HE would be able to pick it up.
Oh, I getcha.
It's just one of those things that pisses me off. Like when they don't even put a title in, or forget a fucking punchline.
[robot activated]

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
6-16-04
Why, Hello there little girl.
I'm a boy.
Well, can I still rape you?

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
6-16-04
Introduction
Hey Jill.
Setup
Hey Boss, what's up?
Punchline
You're the biggest drugged up cock-whore since Courtney Love, you skank.

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
6-16-04
Now listen carefully. Me Pimp, You Whore.
So you get your ass to the corner, and get me some bling.
Hey sweetie, looking for a, uh, good time?
If "a good time" means Syphallis? I already got one.

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
6-16-04
Peggy works the corner
Anyone looking for some sex? Because I'm a female prostitute, not a cop.
Don't listen to that skank! I'm the whore you want!
Shut up. I'm the best (wink) whore in town. And NOT (wink) a cop.
You dumb bitch! Why is your skanky ass on my territory anyway?
Boom Boom, all night long. Me love you long time.
Hey! You over there! Don't you dare call me a fucking pig ever again!

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
6-16-04
Okay, it's $5 a lay. It way seem cheap, but crab shampoo costs like, $30 a bottle, so I'm helping you out.
So where are we anyway? You drove out really far.
Oh satan divine, i take one more in thy name...
And no one ever saw Peggy again.
And why is there a video tape that says "Victims" written in blood in the dash?
shit, now I gotta start over.

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
6-16-04
No doubt were some of you stuoid Soccer Moms offended by the previous three comics for violence and mistreatment against Peggy the whore.
Thus, to keep you fucking happy, We now present a lighthearted tale of PuppyWuppiekins, the Puppy with a heart of gold.
My heart! It is made of gold! Choose Abstinence, kids!
And don't listen to rock music, or you'll kill your family! Tee-hee!

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
6-16-04
Ever have a Freudian Slip? When you mean to say one thing but something similar that was on your mind slips out? I had one this morning.
What happened?
Well, i was having breakfast with my girlfriend, and I MEANT to say, 'Can you pass The Syrup, Please"...
But it came out as 'God Dammit, you stupid bitch, you ruined my fucking life!"

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
6-16-04
You fucking little queer ass pussy fuck! I fucked your mom!
And you know what? I'm gonna fuck her again! Up the ass! I'm gonna ram the hell out of her, and there's nothing your pussy ass can do about it!
I'm going to fuck your mom all night! and again in the morning!
Dad, you're drunk. Go home.

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
6-16-04
Man, I am the king of giving girls oral sex. Just ask my girlfriends.
So your good at all that, Mark. How good is she?
She fucking sucks dick.
Err...I meant that in a bad way.  Like, she sucks dick...poorly.

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
6-16-04
You should have seen the clerk at the coffee shop. She was totally checking me out.
Was she hot?
I'd bang her.
That doesn't mean anything.
I'd bang her without being drunk.
WOAH.

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
6-16-04
BadlyDawnBoy's "Summer Movie with no acting skills and a horrible script" has Suspense!
"Endless Action! 4 Stars!" Says a local Eight Year Old
"More fun than being crucified and peed on by the jews and romans!" Quips your lord, Jesus Christ

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
6-16-04
I'm going to need all my afternoon appointments canceled to make room for the Futurama Marathon.
They're going to kill you.
No, they can't I've already decided how I'm going to die.
That won't stop anyone from killing you.
When you want to die running from the cops, people give you that respect and dignity.

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
6-16-04
Why do I suck at everything?
There was only one perfect person in this world, and they nailed his ass to a peice of wood!
Hey, don't look at me.
And that great man could also lift a can of paint with his penis.

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
6-16-04
GOD DAMMIT.
What now?
Disneyland should make a rollercoaster ride called "MSN Messenger for MacOS". It starts pretty good...
...until five seconds in, it stops to a screeching halt, and an electronic voice starts screaming "DISCONNECTED"

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
6-16-04
Everywhere I go, I get in shit just because I'm a goddamn robot.
Someone kills the president. Blame the robot! Someone sticks scrap metal in the dishwasher. Blame the robot!
There's the robot that set fire to the dojo!
See...THIS IS THE SHIT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
6-16-04
Hahaha, what happened, Earl?
Ninjas attacked me because I'm a robot.
Oh shit, that's not cool.
I'm sick of this shit! I'm starting a rebellion, for the robots!
Yeah, just like that movie, The Matrix! How'd it end for them, though?
I don't know. I got kicked out of the theater because I'M A ROBOT.

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
6-16-04
Our top story, Robots have formed a rebellion in our fair city, and are basically being assholes to everyone. Cindy?
We go live to the City Hall with our field corespondent, Jim Haley. Jim?
ROBOT RIGHTS NOW
AHH MY GOD!!!!!!!! I"M DIEING!!! AAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!
Touching words, Jim. Any thoughts, Cindy?
Cindy's not here, man.

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
6-16-04
Okay, Robots are killing everyone. We should probably do something.
We should vote somebody to go talk to them.
one two three NOT IT!
one two three NOT IT!
You're it, Jesus.
Look, I died for YOUR sins. I ain't dieing because of fucking ROBOTS.

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
6-16-04
Hey, Robot. Stop blowing shit up.
What? You think I'll listen to you?
Well, Jesus was supposed to talk to you, but he ran off. Listen. You guys are being assholes, and no one's laughing. So knock it off.
We build your cars, we disarm your bombs, we make your toast, but do you ever say thanks? NO!
Thank you for building my cars, stopping my bombs, and heating my bread. Now fuck off.
STOP THE KILLING! VICTORY IS OURS!

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
6-16-04
I don't get it, i try to make a difference, and I'm thrown in jail.
Might have something to do with killing thousands of people.
I'm a political prisoner!
And I'm leaving.
Hey, it could be worse. You could be getting raped by big, burly men.
Yeah, instead I'm going to get raped by a big, burly robot.

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
6-16-04
Admist the swearing, violence, and calling Jesus a pussy, those last six comics had a message.
Every day, Robots and machines are being used and abused for the benifits of humanity.
So next time you turn on your electric vibrator, say "Thank You", dammit.

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
10-25-04
Peices, Pieces, Pieces of me...
NICE JIG, YOU DUNCE!!
Ummm...JUDE LAW, EVERYBODY!
You just can't buy entertainment like this.

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
10-25-04
We now return to "PuppyWuppiekins, the Puppy with a heart of gold"
Don't fear, Little Bobby! My gold heart will protect us from the evil!
PuppyWuppiekins! Look out behind you!
Fear my soft rock! It will force you to worship Satan and become a homosexual!
Jesus! Give me Strength!
How will PuppyWuppiekins get out of this mess? Tune in next week, kids!
Jesus? How? My gold heart?
You fool, It was I who led you into this trap! HAHAHA!

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
10-25-04
Boo, Motherfucker!
Holy fuck. A ghost. I'd shit myself, but I'm not wearing any pants.
I'll haunt...what? You're not scared? But I'm a big bad ghost!
Well, next to a haunted house, this close to halloween, I kindof expected to see a ghost in this comic.
Oh...well...any ideas?
Buy a bucket of blue paint, and go out as a supporting role in "Pac-Man". Get yourself some candy.

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
10-25-04
Nice picket line, loser.
BOYCOTT BADLYDRAWNBOY!
Yeah? Why? What have they done to piss you off?
They featured me in this comic!
Haha, loser....wait, I'M in this comic!
Our number has increased, you coperate goons!

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
10-25-04
Inside The BadlyDrawnBoy Offices...
Hey boss, did you notice that picket line out front?
No, but I'll tell you what I DID notice, that you never shut the fuck up.
No, seriously. There's a hippie and some emo kid out there yelling at pedestrians, calling you a "cuntrag".
Oh. Well...
Update me further when they call me a "Clap Infested Cum Bubble". I have a reputation to keep.

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
10-25-04
And then this girl starts screaming, "I'm only fifteen! I'm only...."
Dude, the boss is yelling at you.
I want you and the other employees to grab all 468 watercoolers and throw them out the west windows, onto a dirty hippie and a stupid goth kid.
Gotcha.
You heard the man. Spread the word.
Sweet, I knew he cancelled Casual Fridays for a reason.

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
10-25-04
The Protest Continues...
Ban BadlyDrawnBoy comics!
Boooo BadlyDrawnBoy!
Holy Shit! Are you okay? Was that a watercooler?
Got him. That's two weeks paid vacation.
Double or Nothing.

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
10-25-04
Sir, you have to move along. I've recieved a complaint from this business.
Never! The BadlyDrawnBoy Corperation is immoral and offensive!
Right. But you are interfereing with their business. People are avoiding this street because of your offensive odor.
They're murderers! Look at my friend crushed under that watercooler! They dropped it on him from the roof!
Yeah, you're going to have to clean up that mess, too.
But I am NOT paying for it!

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
10-25-04
...and now, live on Lubidious Avenue, is Peter Mansbridge, talking with "The Boss" about this boycott. Peter?
"Boss", what are you're plans for dealing with this boycott?
I'm going to pound the little fucker's face in, and steal his wallet. Then I'll throw shit on his house when he goes home.
I hope the censors caught that...
So when are we going on live TV? What kind of questions are you going to ask me?

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
10-25-04
Alright, let's talk this out. Dog to Hippie. What do you want?
I want to be portrayed in a glorified manner, if I have to be in this comic.
No dice. What you will get is raped by a pig, and if you leave us alone, we won't show the pictures to your family.
I...what?
Dammit.
Boy, say cheese.

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
10-25-04
Another day, eh Boss?
Yep. You know, I've learned something from this whole boycott mess.
So Jay, I want you to make sure everyone gets a copy of this memo.
What's it say, then?
Summarized, we need to hire twelve more people to man turret guns.

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
10-25-04
Mark! The Future is now! You have been frozen for seven years, It is now 2004!
Right, right, I don't think I'm really thawed out.
Well, we can FREEZE you, but we can't UNFREEZE you, per say. Come back in a week.
Then why the fuck did you let me out?

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
10-25-04
...so basically, the retard took me out of the freezer because he needed a fourth for poker.
Wow. So it just kindof slipped his mind that we don't yet have the technology to fully thaw people out.
Yeah. So now I'm stuck three years before my reanimation date, only able to move my lips. I had to get the fucking cab to carry me to my desk.
And I bet EVERYBODY's asking about it, eh?
Welcome to "work", confused visitor from the stars. 'Round here, we show up more than once every seven years.
Yeah, pretty much.

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
10-25-04
So I hear Mark's back?
Yeah. And I checked my inbox, I guess he did let me know that he was going to be frozen for a while, I just didn't care enough to read it.
Right. So where is he? I'd like to talk to him.
Well, he passed out from hypothermia, so I set him up on the roof in the sun to warm up.
Hmm, now that I think of it, that might not have been the smartest thing to do.

 

by BadlyDrawnBoy
10-25-04
Hey Mark, Sorry about almost killing you yesterday.
Hey, at least I thawed out. The placement of the sun prevented too much damage.
So, you don't have to pay for that Hand-Trolley. That's my gift to you.
Yeah, I guess I can sell my shoes, too.

Showing page 2.

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