All comics by Boritom

Profile

 

by Boritom
6-16-03
Hi. My name is nrce8437-y. Would you be my friend?
I don't know... do you have any vibrating attachments?
You naughty lady! I am not just some pleasure bot, designed to bow to your sick, carnal whims!
Well, I can't see any other valid reason to be friends with a huge clunking mass of ciruits and gears...
Got anyone in mind you'd like to see murdered gruesomely?
NOW, we're talkin'...

 

by Boritom
6-16-03
Wow... This rave is like totally l337, d00d!
What the fuck did you just say?
I said it's l337, d00d... |'m a l337 hax0r111!!!!!
Tell it on the mountain, Brother!
You're a fucking idiot!

 

by Boritom
6-16-03
Deleted scenes available on the DVD release
Ahhh... Mechagodzilla! Move aside, or I shall destroy you!
Never, Godzilla I have been sent to rid the Earth of your vile evil!
Move aside, Assface!
Never! I shall blast you to... to... Damn! Line, please!
Dave, the line is "Kingdome Come!"
Shit... I need to retire again! This movie sucks!
Oh yeah... I shall... Uhhh... damn, I lost the moment. Can we take it from the top?

 

by Boritom
6-16-03
Audition reel: Take One
You are Godzilla. You are an enemy of the Daleks! You will be exterminated!!!!
Wrong show, dicksock!
Audition reel: Take 17
You are making me angry -huff-huff-huff- Very angry indeed! -huff-huff-huff-
For crying out loud! Is it so impossible to at least get a robot that looks like me? Keee-rist!!!
Audition reel: Take 387
Let's see... uhhh, you are Godzilla... you are very bad lizard. I am must destroy going... I... I'm sorry, I'm really bad at reading Kana... let me try that again!
Maybe I shouldhave just bought that beach house with Gamera and Rodan.

 

by Boritom
6-16-03
Meanwhile, backstage...
For crying out loud! You misspelled my name in two consecutive strips!!! YOU, of ALL PEOPLE!
Look, I'm sorry... I'm doing these stupid comics at work. I got distracted.
Seriously, I really do apologize! I'll try not to let it happen again.
The geekery continues...
Well... Okay. All's forgiven. You wanna go out for coffee?
I would but I'm broke. I just won three Bandai figures of you on eBay...

 

by Boritom
6-16-03
I'm gonna blow your fucking head off, eggnog breath!
(Sound effect of a nose glowing, whateverthefuck that would be)
I'm still gonna waste ya, assface!

 

by Boritom
6-16-03
Okay, I'll distract the secret service by buzzing the oval office on my broom, right?
Nnngggguuggghh...
Right, then you sneak in and eat the President's brain, right?
Nnngggguuggghh...
Just pathetic!
You haven't understood a damn word I said, have you.
Nnngggguuggghh...

 

by Boritom
6-17-03
The girls are in a bad mood.
Hi, Suki.
Hi, Emiko!
See, I told you!
We're in a bad mood.
Shut up before I kick your twat in, Ho-bag!

 

by Boritom
6-17-03
So... what did you want to do tonight?
I don't know. What do you want to do?
I want to do what you whant to do.
Well, I want to do what you want to do.
Naked ping pong?
Do I still get extra points for a hole in one?

 

by Boritom
6-17-03
Good evening, Darling. Did you have a tough day at work?
Did I ever. Sometimes, that place can be so soul-sucking!
Whoahohohoho hohahahahaha hehehehoho hohohoooo... Whew!
Hahahahahahahaha hahahahahahaaa
Hehehehehaha hohohehehehaha hahahahahoheee

 

by Boritom
6-17-03
Hi Yuki
Hi Emiko
My daddy bought me a puppy today.
Really. That was very sweet of him.
Not as sweet as the puppy. He he he he he he he he he he heee
I hope you saved me some.

 

by Boritom
6-17-03
Hi Yuki
Hi Emiko
The girls are in a slump.
~tsk~ Sorry... I got nothing today.
Me neither. We're pathetic.

 

by Boritom
6-17-03
So, how's things going with Adam?
Not too bad, I guess. He's really sweet, he listens, he's really sensual... it's just...
What... the Godzilla thing?
Yeah. I don't mind the obligatory Sunday night moster flick, and all the Bandai stuff, but... well...
He still makes that Godzilla roar sound when he climaxes, doesn't he.
Yeah... What's that about?

 

by Boritom
6-17-03
Adam's comics aren't very funny today, are they Suki?
Emiko, for shit's sake, once and for all, is my name Suki or Yuki? Would you make up your fucking mind?!?
Somebody needs a nap!
How about if I just call you "Gashface" from now on?
Fine by me, long as you're consistant... and no, Adam's comics haven't been very funny today!

 

by Boritom
6-17-03
Cowboy is afraid to engage in a verbal discourse with Little Girl today.
blablablablabla - Vag - blablablablabla - Douche - blablabla...
Cornhole - blablablabla - Dead Pirates - blablabla - Mensies - blabla...
Who could blame him? She makes Eric Cartman look like a born-again Christian!
Blablablabla - R-Rated Material that would make Larry Flint hurl - blablablabla...
Somebody please just kill me...

 

by Boritom
6-17-03
Tiny human female, prepare to be experimented upon by the Kovaxian Empire
Not so fast, alien scum! I will not submit to your evil!
And just what do... errr...
Hai-Kimbo!
Nice panties!
Thanks... You were saying?

 

by Boritom
6-17-03
Gregory Peck?
Dead...
Hume Cronyn?
Dead...
Bob Hope?
Still alive... Holy SHIT, the fucker is still alive... Aaaaauuugh!

 

by Boritom
6-17-03
I would just like to go on record as saying, I have nothing against Bob Hope, personally...
I realize he's a very popular and famous individual, and highly revered by many people.
He's had an incredible career, and has been very active in his life with the USO...
He went to places noone else would go, during global conflicts that threatened all of civilization to entertain our brave fighting men.
He's made numerous appearances in films, and his career in Television and Radio is unsurpassed to this day.
I just think he's an unfunny prick, and he hit me with a golf club once.

 

by Boritom
6-17-03
lindkins69: Hiya sweety. Whatcha doing tonight?
lindkins69: R U there, Adam?
lindkins69: R U still mad at me for laghing at your Godzilla roar?
I'll bet she'd feel really stupid if she knew she was PMing a chair!

 

by Boritom
6-17-03
I'm a Lamp
I'm a bed.
We're here to innagurate Adam's 70th Strip on stripcreator.
Yes, it's been a long, strange journey, full of many twists and turns along the way.
The strangest twist of all, of course, is this:
For his 70th strip, THIS was the best that talentless fuckstick could come up with! Geez!!!

 

by Boritom
6-18-03
Hi there Mr. Personthingy. Can I have some food?
Muahahahaa.. I am an evil spawn of Cthuhlu! Your soul is mine, meek one!
Sepultrecum sei noctos! Malochi nos nosferatrum en DOMINAE!!!
HOLY SHEEPSHIT!!! IT BURNS! IT BURNS!!!
Stupid fucker!
Mommy?

 

by Boritom
6-18-03
Germany, 1933
Oy, Yussel... Have you read in the papers what this Hitler person is planning to do to all the Jews in Germany?
Nein, I do not read the papers. They are full of lies and communist propaganda!
Iraq, 1979
Omar, did you read in the paper what this Saddam person is planning to do to us Kurds?
No, I do not read the papers. They are full of lies and infidel propaganda!
Los Angeles, 2001
Dude, have you read in Starlog what this Rick Berman dude plans to do with the next Star Trek Series?
Nah, man. I don't read Starlog. It's filled with lies and Lucasfilm propaganda. Where's the Cheetos?

 

by Boritom
6-18-03
The Stripcreator.com Theater Guild's production of "Slaughterhouse 5"
Hello there. How can I help you?
Could you please direct me to Slaughterhouse Five?
Hmmm... Yeah. I think it's over there, between Slaughterhous Four, and Slaughterhouse Six.
Regards, my good man, and please remember me to Billy Pilgrim.
The End
God......................... Did THAT Suck!

 

by Boritom
6-18-03
The Most beautiful spot on Earth.
The most peaceful...
The most nerve wracking!
Welcome to the... uhh... Oh, yeah, The Improv... I'll be your host for the next tee.. sorry, Two hours... (oh christ!)

 

by Boritom
6-18-03
Gee, what a beautiful evening
Yes... the sky's so clear, and all the stars are so bright
I don't think I've ever seen a night this clear in my life
Me neither... Usually, with all the pollution in the air, you can't see even half as many stars
It's a shame we teleported to the moon without thinking to put on space suits. In a few more seconds, if we don't suffocate, we'll explode
Yup... One small splat for man, one huge fucking mess to clean up for mankind!

 

by Boritom
6-18-03
Five
Four
Three
Two
Ewww... Gross!

 

by Boritom
6-18-03
Are you about ready to go? I want to get to the theater early enough to get a good seat.
Some errors occurred while processing your request. Connection to IMAP server has failed. Your inbox was not polled for its unread count.
What? Come on, hurry up... we're going to be late.
Outlook Express was unable to switch to the newsgroup.
10 print "I smell burning brains"
20 GOTO 10
Run_
Sweetheart, are you feeling okay?
This program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down.

 

by Boritom
6-18-03
My friend, Suki, can do a trick!
Yes... Watch!
AAaaaaaiiiiieeee!!!!
Problem is, she can only do it once!

 

by Boritom
6-18-03
So, Emiko, where's your friend, Suki?
Dead.
Dead?!? How did that happen?
Spontaneous Human Combustion, for Entertainment purposes only!
Bummer!
No shit, the little bitch owed me $30!

 

by Boritom
6-18-03
Hi... are you my new co-host here on Stripcreator?
I got a big ol' itch that I'll let you scratch for $5.
What?
Are you bi?
I don't think I like where this is going...
Lets have a pajama party at my house... I got Tatu's newest CD, and some roofies!

 

by Boritom
6-18-03
Look, you disgusting little whore... except for that "Sucky Sucky" strip I did about 50 strips back, I've kept it pretty mellow!
Keep your filthy mouth to yourself, or I'll shut it for you... PERMANENTLY!!!
You're sexy when you're mad!

 

by Boritom
6-18-03
I'm Warning you, Beotch!
Boobies!
THAT'S IT!!!
AAaaaauuuggghh!
Ewwww... Smells like Barbequed douche

 

by Boritom
6-18-03
Hi Adam. What's up?
What's UP??? You had two cohosts spontaneously combust today! Whathefuck is that about?
Well...?
You Better be Nice to me, Adam!
Uh oh...

 

by Boritom
6-19-03
Hi little asian child! I'll be your new Co-Host!
The name is Emiko, and I don't want you to be my co-host!
Oh, come on! What could be funnier than a talking cigarette that tries to make a small child smoke it?
She's not burning him, because that would be redundant. - Editor
A small child who breaks every bone in a talking cigarette's body using Hai-Kido!

 

by Boritom
6-19-03
The StripCreator Little theater presents James and the Giant Peach!
Hi there... my name is James!
I'm a Giant Peach!
You are not, jerk!
I most certainly am!
Nahh, you're that annoying paperclip thingy in Word!
Work with me kid... I need the bread! I'm workin' for scratch, here.

 

by Boritom
6-19-03
Hi, Emiko
Uhh... Hi, uhhh... what was your name again?
Fucktard the Flatulent!
Appropriate!

 

by Boritom
6-19-03
So... you're my new official Co-Host, eh?
Yup.
I... see. What special qualities do you have to qualify you to be my cohost, Fucktard the Flatulent?
I'm flame retardant... Ironically enough!

 

by Boritom
6-19-03
Hey, Fucktard, do you have any keen hobbies?
I sure do, Emiko. I like to disembowel kittens, and roll around naked in their entrails!
Damn flame-retardant cohosts!
snerk

 

by Boritom
6-19-03
I don't like you very much, Fucktard!
Ohhh... but I like you, Emiko.
Yeah... I'll bet you do!
I got $5!

 

by Boritom
6-19-03
Sorry, Freak, I don't do the Sucky-Sucky thing anymore. Keep your stinking $5!
Can I sniff your panties?

 

by Boritom
6-19-03
So, Fucktard... How old are you, anyway?
I'm ageless, timeless, without form or substance, and (FART)... Hehehehe... That was funny!
You just farted at me!
No I didn't... my sphincter is pointed the other way!
That's what that thing is... I wasn't sure.
It doubles as a can opener!

 

by Boritom
6-19-03
So, Emiko, I understand you want you're old co-host back.
Yes, Professor Agamemnon. Is there anything you can do?
I can make a hat out of a lobster and a stick...
That was a joke...
Not funny.

 

by Boritom
6-19-03
Okay, Emiko. I'll need a sample of Yuki's DNA.
You mean Suki's DNA.
Whatever. Have you got a sample?
Where are you going?
Don't ask! I'll be right back!

 

by Boritom
6-19-03
Okay... I don't know where you got an entire pancreas from her, but I have enough DNA now to clone Puki.
SUKI, You Moron!!!
Later...
...And, so that's the story of how I incinerated my co-host, then had her brought back to life. Suki, do you have anything to add?
Hmmm...
Me so Hooorny!

 

by Boritom
6-19-03
Hi, Suki
Yuki
Oh... Hi, Yuki
Fumiko!
I'm sorry, Kids... My bad!
Whatthefuck???
Good... now you're as confused as Adam apparently is!

 

by Boritom
6-19-03
So, then, what the Hell is your goddamn name?
Who... Me?

 

by Boritom
6-19-03
Oh, Holy Fucking Christ on a Rocket Powered Pickle, What the FUCK is your NAME???
My real name?
YES YOUR REAL NAME!
My maiden name, or my married name?

 

by Boritom
6-19-03
Hi, my name is Emiko.
And I'm Douglas Fairbanks Jr.
YOU ARE NOT!
I'm Chevy Chase, and you're not.
SHUT UP!
I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my other handle... Shit, I'm a Sugarbowl!

 

by Boritom
6-19-03
Hi, I'm Emiko...
I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady, so please stand up, please stand up, please stand...
GRRRRRR!!!
AAAAaaiiiieeeeeee!
Sorry... I just had to!

 

by Boritom
6-19-03
Adam... I think you spend way too much time on stripcreator, making an ass of yourself.
Come on, Linda. I only do it from work when the call volume is slow. It's not hurting anything.
Well, what's your facination with exploding Asian children?
Uuuuhhh....
THAT'S NOT AN ANSWER!!!
AAaaaeeeiiiii!

Showing page 2.

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