All comics by CrunchyCheese

Profile

 

by CrunchyCheese
7-08-03

 

by CrunchyCheese
7-08-03

 

by CrunchyCheese
7-08-03

 

by CrunchyCheese
7-08-03

 

by CrunchyCheese
7-08-03
I just callled... to say... I love you....
yeah. Listen Stevie, we need to talk
I just called... to say how much I care
Look, its just that I am not ready for a committed relationship at this time in my life. You are a swell guy, but I just don't feel that way about you. It's not you - it's me
Who are you kidding bitch? Your ass is Stevie's. I'm waking up the driver and coming over there to pimp slap your silly ass
See, I knew this would get weird...

 

by CrunchyCheese
7-09-03

 

by CrunchyCheese
7-10-03

 

by CrunchyCheese
7-12-03

 

by CrunchyCheese
7-15-03
Dammit! SC is down again. I gott know who won the contest. :::refresh::: :::refresh::: :::refresh::: :::refresh::: :::refresh::: :::refresh::: :::refresh:::
404 404 404 404 404 404 404 404 404
:::refresh::: :::refresh::: :::refresh::: :::refresh::: :::refresh::: :::refresh::: :::refresh::: :::refresh::: :::refresh:::
::: 404 ::: ::: 404 ::: ::: 404 ::: ::: 404 ::: ::: 404 ::: ::: 404 ::: ::: 404 :::
Better not be Kauffman again.... :::refresh::: :::refresh::: :::refresh::: :::refresh::: :::refresh::: :::refresh::: :::refresh:::
:::404::: :::404::: :::404::: :::404::: :::404::: :::404::: :::404::: :::404:::

 

by CrunchyCheese
7-16-03
Chun Li - what are you in prison for?
I'm not in prison Chin Lu - you are!
Clearly you are the one incarcerated - you are inside a jail cell
How can you tell, maybe you are the one in the jail cell and I am outside
Oh yeah, let's see you try to leave
I could if I wanted to. I just don't feel like it.

 

by CrunchyCheese
7-16-03
Look, I know this is weird. But I am pretty sure you are the one in the cell
I'm not so sure about that. let's both try to leave at the same time
Good plan. Now we will finall know which side of this background is the inside of the jail cell
OK - 1..2..3... GO!
shit
shit

 

by CrunchyCheese
7-22-03
Stripcreator Rocks
What's this? A Haiku Contest?
Crap. I got nothin'

 

by CrunchyCheese
7-25-03
James Bond. At last you are in my grasp
You don't expect me to talk, do you?
Heavens no Mr. Bond - I expect you to die
You do realize i will just make a spectaular escape, then come back to defeat you, right
HA! Not this time Bond...
See you in a few hours, Dr. Jellyfinger!

 

by CrunchyCheese
7-25-03
Farewell Mr. Bond...
A bomb? How terribly old fashioned. I should be out of here in no time
Just have to get out of these handcuffs, then I am free...

 

by CrunchyCheese
7-25-03
Almost free... 10 seconds left on the timer. perfect!
I'll just wait until the timer gets to 3, then I will disarm the bomb in the nick of time...
Ah shit. The clock stopped...

 

by CrunchyCheese
7-25-03
I can't beleive this. The timer never malfunctions.
Maybe if I just gave it a nudge..
Oh bugger. Still nothing.

 

by CrunchyCheese
7-25-03

 

by CrunchyCheese
8-04-03
Pete and Re-pete were sititng in a boat. Pete Fell out, who was left?
Re-Pete
Pete and Re-pete were sititng in a boat. Pete Fell out, who was left?
Re-Pete
Pete and Re-pete were sititng in a boat. Pete Fell out, who was left?
Re-Pete

 

by CrunchyCheese
9-03-03
dude - partying in the 21st century sucks. Beer is too expensive and I'm always broke
No doubt. But I have a solution! This time machine will take us back to the early 1900s
And how is that going to help?
Beers were about ten cents each - think about how much more we could buy
I am so there
All aboard for the roaring 20s!

 

by CrunchyCheese
9-03-03
Pardon me office, but can you tell me what today's date is?
You don't know boy? It's January 17, 1920
awesome! Now where can a fella get a cold beer around here?
Beer? Prohibition started yesterday son. Matter of fact, you're breaking the law jsut by holding that one.
You cunt...

 

by CrunchyCheese
9-03-03
Hey Jim, what that's you're drinking?
This is Mountain Cola Code Purple. Its the most extreme soft drink allowed by the FDA
I don't get it. What's so "extreme" about a soda? Isn't it just sugar, water and flavorings?
Yes. this has all of those - only to the EXTREME!
yeah. OK. So are you going to work today or what?
Oh yeah. Thanks to MCCP, I can take accounting TO THE EXTREME!

 

by CrunchyCheese
9-10-03
What the hell is a graviton?
I was hoping you knew
Ed, I've been getting some complaints about your last all-office e-mail
Are you kidding me? It was a birth announcement for my new son.
Right. Given these uncertain times, do you really think its appropriate to brag about having unprotected sex?
Oh someone is about to get a subscription to alt.fistme.org ....

 

by CrunchyCheese
9-12-03
Be My Girl, Sally
Don't stand so close to me
heartbreaker
creep
so lonely
Poor Tom

 

by CrunchyCheese
9-12-03
Can't Stand losing you
O My God
I burn for you
How Stupid Mr. Bates
Voices Inside My Head
Too Much Information

 

by CrunchyCheese
9-12-03
Sex Sleep Eat Drink Dream
Model Man
I talk to the wind
21st centruy schizoid man
Dig me
We'll let you know

 

by CrunchyCheese
9-12-03
Izabela?
Ezy Ryder?
Little Miss Lover...
Hey baby....
And the Gods made love
If 6 was 9
come on.....

 

by CrunchyCheese
9-22-03
Hey. I'm your new cell mate. Crunchy Cheese is my street name - what about you?
You're quite the square circle. A real smoking turnip you are.
Sure, OK. So - what are ya in for?
I'm a freight train headed for the land of mashed potatoes
I'm getting cornholed the minute I fall asleep, aren't I?
A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat

 

by CrunchyCheese
9-23-03
I can't believe Finkleman is dead
I know. It's such a shock
I always thought he was really hot. I used to fantasize about what he looked like naked.
He was magnificent. Hung like a mule. Not that I notice that sort of thing.
Me either
Let's go have a taco.

 

by CrunchyCheese
9-25-03
Tobor and KungChiFu discuss adding some spice to the relationship
Tobor not sure. Think it called "menage au trois"
Finally! You get to cornholing me while I pleasure our new friend!
wrong hand
oh.
you got it!
I am so happy.

 

by CrunchyCheese
10-04-03
Yo Chuckle, you best put the skids on that shit. Your ass belongs to Batman, yo.
You yo of the excrement is not started. The more better stage of Youe is for the bust of I a drain plug in the donkey of punk of yo
I gots the 411 on your wack idea to flood the hood in turkey gravy. Yo punk ass is owned, knamean?
They are not however nothin a small female, batboy. They far, know you the best stage me are a player, yo
a'ight then bitoch. You gonna get a nickle to a dime of straight up cornholing. Hope yo ass got a wide back door
Hectar! like that mine was ackplan yo from since bomb! I become queen PROM of the block cellend its! Gacy directly upward the agency, dog

 

by CrunchyCheese
10-21-03
Jules in France`
Invisible box huh? Cool. So can I get my Royale with Cheese or what, Marcel?
Votre mère était un hamster et votre père senti de la baie de sureau
right. Walking against the wind. I get it. Listen is there a supervisor I could talk to or something?
Américain stupide chatte
Stupid French McDonald's. I should known Vincent was fulla shit

 

by CrunchyCheese
6-18-05
Hey, good news Crunchy. Looks like you made parole!
Awesome! I can't wait to see what the folks on StripCreator have been up to!
Man, that was a long year. But its good to be free again! ANd look, here comes my old friend Ling!
sucky sucky five dollah
come back Joe!
yep. Good to be home....

 

by CrunchyCheese
6-18-05
So Crunchy, I heard you "went away" for a while. What'd they get ya for?
Littering
....and creating a nuisance
this feels awfully familliar...

 

by CrunchyCheese
6-19-05
You've got mail
Who, me? ::click::
--Spam-- Your companion will be pleasantly surprised.
That's just what I need! Thank you faceless stranger!
What the hell is backslash backslash slash slash 1 slash backslash 6 R slash backslash?
I believe she's a size 12, if you have it.

 

by CrunchyCheese
6-19-05
You've got mail
excellent ::click::
--Spam-- Make her scream all night writswatch arachnid
oooh sounds kinky.
So you bought her a Seiko and a box full of spiders?
well, she did scream all night....

 

Dammit Roger, how many times to you have to be told to put the seat back down?
by CrunchyCheese, 6-19-05

 

by CrunchyCheese
6-19-05
--Spam-- Remind him of the man he used to be!
As it is written, so let it be done
You used to be a wholesome farm boy. You had morals and ethics. You were poor, but you were happy. Now, look at yourself
Gosh, I never looked at it like that.
So he walked out on his job and his family just like that? Don't you feel terrible?
I can't fight my destiny.

 

by CrunchyCheese
6-19-05
Suicide bombing in Baghdad kills 23
Boooring
Over 800,000 killed in Rwanda genocide
yawn - saw the movie
And Tom Cruise announces his engagement to Katie Homes
That's disturbing

 

by CrunchyCheese
6-20-05
--Spam-- Lose weight immediately. . . --Spam-- Drop pounds fast. . . . --Spam-- Wanted: A thinner you
I thought I looked fine. But the machines never lie.
So, you did this just because the machine told you to?
You don't understand. It *speaks* to me. I have no choice in this
I just think there might have been a better, safer way
Good and safe? Sure. But would it have been fast?

 

by CrunchyCheese
6-22-05
---SPAM--- Your classmates are looking for you!
They are? I better get in touch with them then.
Looking for you? I don't even know you do I?
Sure, we had shop class together.
There were a lot of people in that class. Which one were you again?
You're right, there were a lot of people there. Me? I was the TALKING COW, burnout.

 

by CrunchyCheese
6-22-05
Hey, Don't I know you?
Yeah, we went to high school together
Oh right, the talking cow. Francis, right?
Bill.
Right, Bill. Hope you aren't still mad at me for standing you up at Senior Prom. I was going through "a phase" - you know?
It took years of therapy, but I am over it. So, are you still giving handjobs to football players, or was that just a phase too?

 

by CrunchyCheese
6-22-05
Hey its been great catching up Bill. But, I really gotta get going.
I understand. Just one more thing though. I always had the biggest crush on you. How come we never hooked up?
Aw, that's sweet. But the chemistry just wasn't there, you know?
I guess so. Oh well.
wierdo
Dike.

 

by CrunchyCheese
6-22-05
Yeah, I remember you. I used to try to ride you to class.
That was me.
I just want you to know that I have changed. I'm a little embarassed about how I treated you back then.
That's really big of you. It took a lot of courage to apologize for something that happened 10 years ago.
Apologize? pfft. I said I was embarassed, not sorry. Now give me a lift to that cute redhead over there.
This day just keeps getting better.

 

by CrunchyCheese
6-22-05
You know, I remember when you were just a fry cook here. Now look at you, Mr. Businessman
Heh, yeah. Owning a burger joint isn't easy though. Alway looking for ways to cut costs and keep a decent profit. Say Bill, umm What do you weigh now?
I'd say about 14-1500 lbs, why?
Let's see, taking out about 300 lbs for skeleton and viscera, that's roughly 5000 McWhoppers. How's your fat content?
Is that the time? I really need to get going..
Would you describe yourself as "tender and juicy"?

 

by CrunchyCheese
6-22-05
So what was it like, seeing all your classmates again?
It was like I never left
Really? well that's great.
No, it isn't. They are still a bunch of assholes, just like they were ten years ago.
Then why did you make sure to get all of their addresses and promise to send them gifts from the farm?
Two words my friend "Organic Fertilizer"

 

by CrunchyCheese
6-22-05
Hey Stan, weren't you trying to get on with The Police
Yes, but so far all I have gotten is a crappy job as a Night Ranger over at Linkin Park
Too bad, I could use your help on this Slaughter case
This is an easy one. It was apparently a group of Carpenters
Interesting. You think they used some kind of Tool
Look at the punture marks. They obviously used Nine Inch Nails

 

by CrunchyCheese
6-22-05
Listen up. I know you are the New Kids on the Block, but this is War, and you are Warriors
But sir, this is Madness
Shut it private. We are taking Front 242 and capturing those Damn Yankees, Dead or Alive
Sir, we are on foot, and they have B-52's ! They already took out our Powerstation over on Cypress Hill
Sure, they've got Love and Rockets, but we have a secret weapon... Anthrax
He won't stop until there's nothing but Dead Kennedys

 

by CrunchyCheese
6-22-05
Hi, um I've never done this before.
That's OK darling. Is your Tool nice and Firm?
yeah baby, my Whitesnake wants to get into your Mudhoney
I don't do anal. It gives me The Cramps
Forget it. I'm in a Rush Can I just get my Nickelback
Sorry sugar, no refunds when you make The Call to the House of Pain

 

by CrunchyCheese
6-22-05
What an adorable little girl. Where's your mommy?
My mommy is in the year 2213. She sent back to help you
Me? Why?
Because you are the last of a species. Off all the women on earth, there are only Four Non-Blondes
Wow. So I guess you are my destiny?
No. Mommy is. I'm just Destiny's Child

 

by CrunchyCheese
6-22-05
I just need your Autograph on this citation, and your promise to get off the street.
What're ya gonna do? Shoot me with your .38 Special?
I don't want a Clash. I just hate to see Dixie Chicks out here turning a Cheap Trick on Skid Row
I have a legit job as an Usher over at the Dream Theatre. But holding The Doors don't pay so good. So I gotta burn the Midnight Oil down here.
But soliciting The Thompson Twins? They're just little Offspring
I aint soliciting them Pixies.They's my Teenage Fan Club

Showing page 2.

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