All comics by Deaths_Head_II

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by Deaths_Head_II
6-21-04
Jason Vorhees was never popular in his life...he never had any friends and his family hated him...
Ha! Ha! You're a freak! You're deformed and ugly! Plus you smell bad!
*sniff* I'll get them one day!
And now that he was hitting the age of 87, he is unable to go on killing sprees anymore.
I still need a way to inflict pain on the people that persecuted me...wait, the internet! That's it!
And so the account Red Mage Ragnarok was created.
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Your sister was miscarried and died, DPR!
I hope you die.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-21-04
A new Grand Theft Auto game is coming up. This violent series takes players into the world of a criminal. Desite it's " Mature " rating, kids still buy it.
Are the video game stores to blame? Is it too easy to be able to purchase this kind of entertainment? Here is Tom Berger in the field with an actual store owner.
Here we are with a man named Mike. He claims to work in a video game store.
Actually, the video game store is just a cover. We actually sell sex slaves around the back. By the way Tom, your reservation will be delayed due to some difficulties in shipping.
God I love live television.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-21-04
Welcome back to Crossing Over with John Ritter. You over there, what is your name? I have a feeling you lost a love one.
My name is Jamalia Hones. Yes, I did lose a love one.
This loved one...was named Jenny. Am I right?
No, actually his name was David.
I can see this...David. He is a boy, correct?
Oh my god. How did you know that? You really are psychic!

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-22-04
Hey DH2, you messed up again in the last strip. It's John Edwards, not John Ritter.
Bite me, Orly. I only watched that show once, and I was too busy laughing to pay attention to that loser's name.
John Ritter is dead, youf fool. He was the guy that was on Three's Company.
I was still jiggling in my dad's pants when that show was on. How should I remember that?
He would be the communicatee, not the communicator.
Your face is going to communicate with my fist if you don't shut the hell up.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-22-04
Sire, the machine is almost ready. The preparations should be ready by morning.
Yes, the Duplicator is almost complete! Soon we will have doubles of the FFTSBers and use them to destroy the Earth!
Why do you have to explain what it does? We built it. We know.
Yeah, but the person reading this comic strip doesn't.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-22-04
Don't you think the leader is going a little crazy with the whole " destroying planets " thing?
Does it really matter? Most of the planets we destroyed were filled with people that wanted us dead anyway.
Yeah, but planets like Earth never did anything to us. Why must we destroy it?
You can't work here and question the leader, Bob. He is always right. That's why he is the leader.
Yeah, but without Earth there won't be a Halo 2.
Hmm....maybe you're right...this is a bad idea after all...

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-23-04
DH2 starts getting frustrated.
Man, this is one of the best games I've ever played, but it gets so annoying...theres too many god damn enemies...
GAME OVER.
DH2 starts getting pissed.
DAMN IT WHY THE HELL DO THEY KEEP COMING?? EITHER I DIE OR FARAH DIES IT'S FREAKING IMPOSSIBLE!!
GAME OVER.
DH2 starts going crazy.
HA! HA! HA! I CHIEF WAKKANDA OF MUZUZU TRIBE!! ME BURN YOU CORPSE AND EAT IT ON STICK!!! HA! HA! HA!

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-23-04

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-23-04
Your target is the FFTSBers. Injure them to the point they want us to kill them, but leave them breathing.
No problem.
*Censored for extreme and graphical violence*
OH GOD!!! PLEASE KILL ME NOW I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!
ALL THAT'S LEFT OF MY GUTS IS SPILLING ALL OVER MY FACE IN A POOL OF BLOOD!!!!!
Um...those weren't the FFTSBers. Those were just poor cute disabled children.
Damn it, I couldn't see anything with that damn censor box over the entire panel.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-23-04
DestinedWarrior, Super Human, come with us to a prison where we will duplicate you two and make the duplicates destroy your pathetic planet.
Sure thing.
Okay.
You know, sometimes I wish we had spines.
Yeah, that would be cool.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-23-04
So we're all captured?
Except for n00b. He is the only one left who still has a chance to save us.
Sir, enter into my vehicle and I will give you a large amount of sugary treats.
omfg lol u gotz candie???? okez!!!!!!!!!!!1
How you survived this long in society amazes and fightens me.
itz not mi folt they use ultamate persuasion techniqe!!!!!!!1

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-23-04
The ninja master has been captured by the enemy, but the cage the has been put out for him is no match for his skills.
The ninja decides the time to escape is now and he decides to use the most powerful of his ninja skills to become free from his cell.
HELP!!! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!! I'M LOCKED IN HERE!!!

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-23-04
O.K, FFTSBers! Get into the machine right now!
What are you going to do with us?
Then the machine is activated...
...and after the dust clears...
Who...are...you?
I AM BLACK ORLY FOOL!!!

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-23-04
How can you be Orly? I'm Orly!
I'M A PART OF YOUR PUNK ASS!!
What on earth happened? The doubles don't look anything like their counter-parts!
Looks like the machine split them apart instead of duplicating them.
That story concept is so retarded on so many levels.
Just like your mom.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-23-04
Deaths Head II:
What the hell are you supposed to be?
GLEECHIWAKKA!!!
Red Mage Ragnorak:
*sniff* I finally found someone who understand me.
Mmmm....pie...
Super Human:
Okay...this is soooooo not funny.
Hey there you big hunk of sexy man.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-24-04
Sir, we returned the prisoners to their cells, but we just got a report that there is an intruder in our base.
Don't worry, Bob. Our guards are trained to deal with anything.
Are you sure about that?
Well, there is one thing they can't stand up against....
Meanwhile...
My name is Cassandra. I am going to invade your base and free your captives. Please keep in mind I am a catgirl and I have very large breasts.
*drool*

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-25-04
I'm here to rescue you from this place! Tell me where they keep the keys!
*drool*
Looks like my plan to sneak in here is working a little TOO well...

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-25-04
*drool*
.........
*drool*
...........
The key? It's in the case near the northern wall, I think.
Thanks!

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-25-04
Hey, thanks for saving us. I thought we were doomed.
Actually I need your help in return.
Wait a minute. I think we're missing someone...
Oh yeah...I left one of your friends in his cell...
...I was too afraid of what would happen to me if I let him out...

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-25-04
For the sake of mankind, the following person seriously needs to die: Ryu.
omfg wtf i thinks that auron from ffx lieks to have teh buttseks wit bois!!!!!!!1
I am Ryu. Even though Square did not intend to make Auron that way, he must be. That is because the original meaning does not matter at all. It's how you interpret it.
This has been a brief message for the benifit of the world. We now return you to your regular programming.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-25-04
But what are we going to do about our other selfs?
Yeah, what are we going to do about them?
Once one of the two personalities is destroyed, it will rejoin with the other half.
So we're going to have to kill our other selves?
btu i dnt wanta kill thm thy r so col!!!!!!!!!1
lol thanx dood i think u r teh col too!!!!!1

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-26-04
While the doubles talk...
So they think they can just destroy us? When they come this way, lets give them a good spanking!
This pie is so yummy...never had one that tasted this good...
...an intruder appears...
Nothing can get past us! Nothing at all!
Oh really....?
That's the second intruder in one hour. Maybe you should beef up security.
Maybe you should shut the hell up.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-26-04
LOOK AT THAT!! SOMEONE KILLED ALL THE DOUBLES!!
JIMINY CHRISTMAS!! I DON'T BELIEVE IT!!!
LOOK AT THAT!! SOMEONE KILLED ALL THE DOUBLES!!
JIMINY CHRISTMAS!! I DON'T BELIEVE IT!!!
LOOK AT THAT!! SOMEONE KILLED ALL THE DOUBLES!!
JIMINY CHRISTMAS!! I DON'T BELIEVE IT!!!

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-27-04
Well, now with the doubles destroyed, we should be getting back to normal.
Yes, I just wonder who it was that finished them off...
"Back to normal?" I don't feel any different at all.
Yeah, what a bunch of bullshit!
Hmm...I suddenly have the urge for some pie...
Then go get some, you sexy hunk of--WHAT THE HELL AM I SAYING??

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-27-04
The World Dominators seem to have ran away in the confusion.
*sigh* Again?
Well, at least this whole thing is over and all the doubles are dead.
Um...I wouldn't be to sure about that...
Meanwhile...
THE MAN AIN'T GONNA HOLD ME DOWN!!

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-27-04
So you are saying that you Black Orly double is still walking around?
That is my presumption, yes.
So that means that we should go hunt him down and finish him off!
I don't know...that seems rather dangerous...
Wow...without your Black Orly persona, you are just a regular white boy.
By the way, can you please move a few feet more away from me? Your kind frightens me.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-27-04
" So I was minding my own buisness when my friend came out of no where and said... "
Hey Josh, guess what? I had Reeses for breakfast!
Yeah, so what? Why are even telling me what stupid thing you had for breakfast?
But guess what? It wasn't candy, it was Reeses Puffs cereal!
Dude, seriously, I don't give a damn if it was candy or poison.
Reeses Peanut Butter Puffs! Part of a good breakfast!
Hmmm...maybe it would have been better if you had the poison instead...

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-27-04
Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children:
Sir, the fans want a sequel to Final Fantasy VII!
Well, instead of making a 20 hours or so game, let make a movie that isn't even two hours. Even though our last movie failed, lets put one of our most successful games in risk of that failure as well!
Final Fantasy Tactics Advance:
Sir, the fans want a sequel to Final Fantasy Tactics!
Well then, let just the take the name and slap it on something that isn't even a sequel. Then take the FFIX and FFT battle systems and merge them and make the story a Never-Ending Story rip-off!
Final Fantasy X-2:
Sir, the fans want a sequel to Final Fantasy X!
Lets make a sequel but give it a crap story and crap character development. Merge Chrono Trigger's and FFV's battle system. Then but some skimpy costumes in to get the guys hard.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-27-04
George W. Bush is holding a Press Conference to answer any questions the people of America have of him and his actions.
Here we have live footage of our President taking questions from various reporters and people of the press.
Mr. President, I demand to know what was the true purpose of putting our solders in Iraq!
um...excuze me btu tht isnt a question...
Actually, yes it was..
no it isnt u didnt raise ur voice at teh end i cnt tlk to stoopid peeps next prson!!!!!!!!!1

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-27-04
Is it true your taxes cause the upper classes of society to pay less then the average man?
no...my taxes causes the richer peeps to not pay ass mch as teh normal peep!!!1
Um...that's basically the same thing...
no it wsnt stoopid it didnt sound teh same
Yes, but it had the same meaning...
no it wsnt y is every1 stoopid exept me btw vote fr bsh in next electian!!!!!!1

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-27-04
Welcome to the Beawulf and n00b Fan-mail Reading Show! I'm Beawulf and the guy on my right is n00b!
we r here 2 answa teh mail u peeps send 2 us!!!!!!!1 we alredy gotz quite a few of thm
This idea was thought up by DH2 so it's thanks to him we have the oppourtunity to be here and read the fan-mail. What does the first letter say, n00b?
"Dear DH2, your comic fucking sucks dick. Do you actually think you're funny? Someone should chop your balls off to prevent you from reproducing. Sincerely, David M."
We're going to get you for this DH2, you prick. We're going to hunt you down and eat your flesh.
"P.S: Just so you know, I put a bomb with this letter, dickhead. Burn in hell, fuck face. Hahahahah."

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-28-04
Thanks for letting me stay in your house, DH2. Where will I sleep?
How about...IN MY PANTS. Hehehehehe.
You want to sleep over my house? Why can't you stay at your own?
Because I barely managed to escape there with my life, you ass!

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-28-04
DH, we need to go find Black Orlandu and merge him back with regular Orlandu. Orly has been acting weird ever since they were split.
How so?
No, Mindy! You can't fall in love with Derrick! He's cheating on you with your evil stepsister, Sedusa!
"Facts of Love" will be right back after this message. Right here, on the Official Women's Channel.
Oh. That.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-28-04
"Dear DH2, if you could actually get your head out of your ass, you'd realize your comic sucks balls."
"Dear DH2, knowing that fetus' have the chance to turn into someone like you turned me pro-abortion.
"Dear DH2, I read all your comics and I had to gouge out my eyeballs. Thanks a lot, you prick."
"Dear DH2, were you dropped on your head a lot as a baby? I seriously want to know. It would give me an explanation as to why people like you exist."
ths job sux i cnt take it anymor im goin to end it al!!!!!!!1
No! You have so much to live for!

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-28-04
So what are you going to dress up as for the Cosplay party?
I'm going to go as that hot chick, Faye, from Cowboy Bebop.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-28-04
Do you know who that was that guy killed all the doubles?
As a matter of fact I do. His name is Mildred. We used to be very close.
Not in that way, you fag.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-28-04
So tell me everything about this Mildred.
Well the story really begins with my grandfather, back when he was living on Gerrok.
Your grandfather?
Yes...him and my grandmother had a very controversal relationship...one that was not approved of on Gerrok.
Son...I've said it before and I'll say it again....you can't screw with your human slaves.
I hate you, dad! You never want me to be happy!

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-28-04
My family doesn't approve of our union. They want me to marry a but ugly Gerrokian woman with lots of tentacles. I plan for us to run away to another planet so we can live in bliss.
I hate my life.
In order to support ourselves, I'm to going to take pictures of us getting it on and sell it to porn sites.
With any luck, no one will like the concept and it will eventually die.
And so tentacle rape hantai was created.
Fat chance! Ha! Ha!

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-28-04
Wait a minute, so your father created the concept of young, innocent girls getting brutally raped by hideous, butt-ugly monsters?
Yeah, that's exactly what he did.
You are now officially my hero.
Yeah, I get that quite a lot.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-29-04
So how did your grandfather end up becoming the master of our planet?
Well, as you know, our planet, Demonia, was started by the evil origanization World Dominators.
Then how did he end up with the job of being an evil planetary dictator?
Well...
Man, you can get almost anything of the internet now.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-29-04
hey, I'm here for the intern job?
Ah, yes. Please sit down in the waiting room and wait until we call your number. Your number is 569.
This isn't as glamerous as I thought it would be.
Calling number 225! 225, you can come in now!

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-29-04
The interviews for an evil organization...
Um...My name is Ramsi. I'm a monster that feasts on human flesh.
omg lol i m gorge w bush i taek ova contries taht haev oil!!!!!1
I used to work for Squaresoft. I helped make Final Fantasy X-2.
Hello. My name is Micheal Jackson.
Wow...how on earth did your grandfather get the job?
They decided the other people were a little too evil.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-29-04
You're our best employee ever, Ramsi. I'm going to promote you to Vice President.
Thank you, Mr. Bin Ladin.
Good news, Mr. Ramsi. We managed to get the deal on that planet your wanted. Your now the official dictator of Demonia.
Life is going great...nothing can ruin this.
I'm pregnant.
God damn it.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-29-04
Mr. Ramsi, I have some very bad news.
What is it, doctor?
I'm very sad this say this, but you are about to die.
If you're sad, then why are you smiling?
It's because the poses on stripcreator are very limited.
Is that why I always look like I took a whiff of someone's fart?

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-29-04
Ramsi is near his death...
Honey, please bring my son to me...I need to give him some parting words...
Okay.
Son...I'm going to need you to take over the buisness...I'll be parting you soon...
Daddy! You can't die!
Why the hell can't we see his face?
If we cover up his face all the time, it'll be more dramatic when you finally do see him.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-30-04
So your father took over Demonia?
Yes, but during this time Demonia was under hostile invasions by other planets. The planet was split into different territories.
Why was that so?
Demonia was founded by people who ran from their home planet, like Ramsi. Everyone looked down on this. They hated the Demonians and attacked them frequently.
Your county has been taken over, you worthless excuses for human life!
HATE CRIME!

 

by Deaths_Head_II
6-30-04
Citizens of Demonia! I plan to free us from our oppressors! Side with me so we could have a better tomorrow!
Why should we have you as our leader instead?
Because I will at least be better then our current dictator.
That's true...
lol taeking over planets fr oil si teh bst idea i eva thout of!!!!1
Mr. Bush, preparations are ready for the next planet your going to take over: Earth.

 

by Deaths_Head_II
7-01-04
Some marrage problems.
Honey, ever since you liberated our planet, you've been so distant. Are you cheating on me?
Of course not, my wife.
That's good.
Now I'm off to screw some hoes, you gullible bitch. Ha ha ha!
Damn it, did I say that out loud?

 

by Deaths_Head_II
7-01-04
You can't keep doing this to me! Promise me you won't leave the house unless it for buisness!
Okay, honey. I promise I'll only go outside for buisness matters.
Where are you going now?
My secretary called me. She said the two of us have some papers to file.
I HAVE ANOTHER IMPORTANT PAPER FOR YOU, DOROTHY! IT'S CALLED "MY WANG!"
THEN WHY DON'T YOU JUST STICK IT IN MY "FILE CABINET" YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH?

 

by Deaths_Head_II
7-01-04
One of Lazo's girlfriends has some news for him..
I have some news for you...I know you're married so it might get you upset...
What is it?
I'm...pregnant...
What? That's terrific!
What? You're really happy?
Yes! Of course I am! Why wouldn't I be...wait, did you say "pregnant" or "horny as hell?"

Showing page 2.

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