All comics by Foolish_Mortal

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by Foolish_Mortal
4-13-04
Meanwhile, in Hell...
You know, it's kind of boring here in Hell. I though it'd be, y'know, hellish.
Would you like me to turn up the thermostat a little?
Actually I'd like someone to play with. I'm lonely.
I know just the person. Back in a tick.
Sweet Jesus.
Squork!

 

by Foolish_Mortal
5-04-04
Meanwhile, back in the land of the living...
Okay, it's five minutes to midnight and we're in the 'sacred spot', whatever the fuck that is. What now?
I need you to say the spell.
Do I have to? It's really stupid.
Do you want Monkeyman back, or not?
Well, actually, I have developed a newfound appreciation for having props on his side of the frame.

 

by Foolish_Mortal
5-04-04
Back in Hell:
So, Penguinator... how have you been holding up?
Squork!
Enjoying hell much?
Squork!
And... what's your favourite word?
I'd say it was "testicular"... Oops! I mean, squork...

 

by Foolish_Mortal
5-04-04
You can talk!?
Um... no... squork, squork...
How come all you've ever said is "Squork"?
Well, it's a good word. It has all sorts of different meanings depending on its context.
Such as?
Well, for the last five minutes it's been meaning "Monkeyman is a big smelly poo head".

 

by Foolish_Mortal
5-04-04
I'll double your cat food rations!
Tum te tum.
I'll give you top billing in the upcoming motion picture!
*whistles*
I'll talk in a silly voice for the rest of the episode!
Ooh, now you're talking.

 

by Foolish_Mortal
7-02-04
Good dance, this.
Well if you want to draw a whole load of new sprites just for one scene, be my guest!

 

by Foolish_Mortal
7-02-04
Okay, you did the dance. Now some sort of portal should be opening up and -
*ahem*
What?
You're not doing the voice.
*sigh*... Noo some sorchta poortel shud be oppenin oop and alloowin oos gayteway inta the neext woyrld...
Could this episode get any better?

 

by Foolish_Mortal
7-02-04
Uh-oh... this isn't what's supposed to be happening...
You're not doing the voo-ooice...
Will you shut up about the voice! I think you're in deadly danger!
La la la! I can't heeeear yoou!
Oi fink wee've fooked oop royally, you foopyd coont.
Well it isn't my fault. My dance was great.

 

by Foolish_Mortal
8-30-04
You fool! The dance was right, left, right. Not the other way around!
Whatever. So what happens now?
God only knows.
So it could be something good, then?
Um... in theory.

 

by Foolish_Mortal
2-05-05
...but now, it's time for a commercial break!
Hi there. I'm Satan, owner of Hell. Why not come and visit my beautiful home, at the bargain price of only one soul!
I was sceptical at first, but when I arrived in Hell, my worries simply melted away!
I really didn't know what I was missing!
It's so much fun you really won't want to leave!
...Which is quite lucky actually because you won't be able to.

 

by Foolish_Mortal
2-05-05
Welcome back. If you've just joined us, here's a quick recap: In a botched attempt to raise his best friend from the dead, Catster has inadvertantly brought about the apocolypse.
Isn't it annoying when that happens?
Meanwhile, Monkeyman faces eternal damnation and is seriously running out of conversational topics.
So... you can't fly? How's that working out for you?
And in a cardboard box in a secluded alley in Brooklyn, the Uber Coyote is pondering what could have been.
I drink my own urine. It's more economical than buying alcohol, and the kick is almost as big.

 

by Foolish_Mortal
2-06-05
Though causing the end of the world is probably the stupidest thing I've ever done, it does have its advantages.
I mean, it's not like there's anyone left to get angry at me, right?
And at least things can't get any worse.

 

by Foolish_Mortal
2-06-05
Braaaaaains...
!!!
Oh. Looks like I came to the wrong place. Sorry to bother you.
Talk about rejection...

 

by Foolish_Mortal
2-06-05
Hang about. If the dead are now walking the earth, does that mean...
Hi there.
I know how contrived this is, but go along with it, eh fellas?
I'm... speechless.
Endless small talk get the better of you, too?

 

by Foolish_Mortal
2-06-05
So let me get this straight. Although we are now reunited, the apocalypse is still continuing apace, and we're now trapped in a world of brain-eating zombies?
And now that I'm around, we're much more vulnerable to them...
That's about right.
Can't we just do that thing where we inexplicably go back to normality next strip with no mention of the recent events?
Looks like the only option. The writer appears to have completely run out of new ideas and is just recycling ones from past strips.
Still, at least things can't get any worse.

 

by Foolish_Mortal
2-06-05
No one escapes from Hell, Monkeyman! How could you be so foolish as to think you'd got the better of me?
Eep.
Gone dark all of a sudden, hasn't it? It's not very kind on my outline.
I have blocked the sun's rays with the full extent of my unfathomable power!
Catster, stick to the matter in hand!
Is it also your unfathomable power that's cramming all three of us into a single frame?

 

by Foolish_Mortal
2-08-05
Monkeyman, you are the first soul ever to escape hell! You spoiled my unbroken record!
When you escaped, you took my dignity and self-respect with you. I am filled with resent and self-hate!
I mean, do you think I ENJOY condemning people to eternal damnation? It tears me up inside!
And people don't believe in me any more! I've turned from a figure of respect and fear into a cliché-spouting cartoon!
Still, at least things can't get any worse.

 

by Foolish_Mortal
2-08-05
Catster! Monkeyman! Save yourselves! I'll hold him off!
Um, who are you?
Squork! Ouch! Squork! Curse you! Squork! I cast you into the pit of burning hellfire! Hey! No hair pulling! Squork!
Acccck! It burns!
Great fight scene, writer.
I can hear Peter Jackson shitting himself.

 

by Foolish_Mortal
2-08-05
OK guys, about getting back to where we started. I was thinking time travel.
Time travel? But the apocolypse would re-occur eventually, wouldn't it? Seems a bit short-termist.
I'm in favour of going back to the grassy background without any explanation, personally.
No chance. I've done that one far too often.
Maybe you could go back in time and stop yourself from doing it those other times. Then you could do it here.
Yep, there's your solution. And no confusing time travel involved.
Um... yeah. But I don't have a physical representation. See, it would be a bit boring for the readers, just seeing of yellow boxes talking to each other.
Frankly, I think any remaining readers must have pretty impressive attention spans anyway.

Showing page 2.

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