All comics by Glakken

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by Glakken
5-06-04
You know I have super powers, right?
I don't care, fool. I'm a go crazy and kill all y'all!!!
Oops... YOU'RE DEAD!!!
HA HA HA...

 

by Glakken
5-06-04
Notice how calmly the shark swims. How peaceful. How beautiful.
See how sternly Satan surveys his natural habitat. Fascinating.
Man, I really hate that guy. Look at his stupid head.

 

by Glakken
5-06-04
...and he marries Natasha. Then, Tolstoy kind of rants about how it is hopeless to examine history, because it is the individual will of all Humanity.
He also says that it is pointless to examine Humanity, because History controls everything we do.
That's pretty much what War and Peace was about.
That's a terrible story!

 

by Glakken
5-12-04
I am the Lord of Capitalist Idealism.
I am you humble servant, my lord.
Achieve greatness.
I am on the stage like a doctor, but I will not be transformed by the lights.
And that's when I woke up. I think there was something in those brownies.
Do you have proof?

 

by Glakken
5-12-04
And why did they take your painting out of the community art gallery?
Apparently they didn't want to display "violent or inappropriate material" in their little art fair crap.
What was it, anyway?
It was a watercolor titled "The Incest of Slaughtered Genitalia" It had robots and stuff.
...where's the punchline?
I don't think there is one.

 

by Glakken
5-12-04
Orna Borna Korna Fjorda. Ha ha ha.
Flip it over like wiggidy wack!
Oizeau!!!
Jack Black plus Jack White equals... Chewbacca!
And I said, "Don't eat that baby!"
Oh Dee Dohhh dee doHH dee Doh!

 

by Glakken
5-12-04
Lumpkin!!!
I am Doctor IceCream.
Oh, Jonathan Swift was a pioneer!
Stryper! Hardcore Christian Rock!
Somebody is a naughty sausage factory!
CJ with the holes in his pockets!

 

by Glakken
5-12-04
The voices in my head tell me to kill... but I wanna be... a Dancing Queeeen!
Nazi Bologna Baby. Processed meat, Heil Hitler. Goo goo burble.
My baby, you've killed my baby!
Everybody do the burning polka! Everybody feel the pain of fire!
You offend my intellect, sir.
How come at a table with Matt and Robert, I'm the fat guy?!

 

by Glakken
5-12-04
There has never been, nor ever will be a perfect society.
A society is a form of organization in which people place themselves.
If society did not exist, we would have no culture, language, religion, art, or science.
Because it consists of people, it goes to show society will never be perfect.
But one would think societies depend on their population to determine their efficiency and basic quality
This is a simple act of reason

 

by Glakken
5-13-04
Yeah. Granville like, died.
My pants are so high... I'm my own grandmother.
You know what that's for... nerds and geekoes.
I am the prettiest pumpkin pie.
Ha ha. You're old and close to death!
How dare you greet me in the morning!

 

by Glakken
5-24-04
Erm......
Uhhh...
MIND FIRE ACTIVATE!!!
The End

 

by Glakken
5-24-04
I am a jolly fat man. I am the one you want. My Name is Kristopher Kringle.
What?
No! you suck, sir!

 

by Glakken
5-24-04
... and that's why they should ban gay marriages. It's unnatural.
I totally agree.
It's just another method the homosexuals are using to corrupt our youth.
Uhhh...
And don't get me started on the feminists. In my day, women had one purpose...
I'll be over here now. Doing... something else.

 

by Glakken
5-26-04

 

by Glakken
6-18-04
1848...
What are you doing?
I'm collaborating on the Communist Manifesto with Engels. It's in the form of a rap song.
Interesting...
Do you know anything that rhymes with "oppresed Proletariat"?

 

by Glakken
7-24-04
I like you, Santa. You represent what makes this country great.
The spirit of giving, merriment, and love for your fellow man?
No, rewarding Christian surburbanite children with worthless trinkets in exchange for maintenance of orthodoxy.
Er... sounds a bit Orwellian. And I don't think that's what I'm about.
Nonsense, Orwell is an unperson. People who never existed can't write.

 

by Glakken
7-24-04
Um... when will I get the check.
Soon enough, my boy. Ooh, this will be fantastically insane and most marvellously scandalous.
Is it going to hurt?
Not in the beginning.
...
It will when I remove the extra genitalia, though.

 

by Glakken
7-24-04
I believe I was seven when my best friend died, I was there when the machinery sliced him in half. I had nightmares for years after that.
He was bleeding everywhere and he was trying to hold his entrails... his legs and torso were three feet apart. It was a traumatizing experience.
Sometimes I wake up nights, and I relive the hellish nightmare...
That's a terrible story!

 

by Glakken
8-09-04
Isaac Asimov........... Ray Bradbury........... Larry Niven............... Robert A. Heinlein... Jules Verne............. H. G. Wells.............. Orson Scott Card... Philip K. Dick...........
Charles Dickens..... Leo Tolstoy.............. Ernest Hemingway Mark Twain..............
...?
R. L. Stine?
You lose.

 

by Glakken
8-09-04
Is the importance of this comic based on the visual representation of concepts? These characters?
Oh... which is more important... neovid1 and lizardsuit2 or the ideas they represent? Is that what you mean?
Not quite. Perhaps... but what of our dialogue? Does it affect they way in which we are perceived and vice versa? And what of our environment?
Maybe a combination of the two. Maybe one is a vital supplement to the other.
Is the importance of this comic based on the visual representation of concepts? These characters?
Oh... which is more important... pablo1 and butchbox1-2 or the ideas they represent? Is that what you mean?

 

by Glakken
8-09-04
You may already be aware, the content of these comic strips affects the the Google Ad Banner above them.
I shall attempt to get the ads to be in relation to "Terry Pratchett"
Terry Pratchett!
Uh... Discworld. British. Fantasy Author. Terry Pratchett Books.
Um....
Terry Pratchett!!!

 

by Glakken
8-09-04
German. German. German.
Yeah.
...
German. German. German. German. German.German. German. German. German. German. German. German.
Learn it online, sucka!!!

 

by Glakken
8-09-04
Home grown shrooms.
Order your kit today!!!
All the cool kids grow their own psychotropic fungi.
Only nerds buy shrooms off the streets.
Nerds and geekos.

 

by Glakken
8-09-04
Play piano. Buy piano. Love piano. Kill piano. Make your own piano. Does this piano taste funny?
This one is painfully obvious. And most unclever.
Piano Piano Piano Piano Piano Piano Piano Piano Piano Piano Piano Piano Piano Piano Piano Piano Piano Piano Piano Piano Piano Piano Piano Piano Piano Piano Piano Piano Piano Piano
And the roast beef was very dry.
I suppose you'd rather have a ham sandwich?
Michelle. My Belle... you know it already.
Dude. That's not cool. You know that isn't Kosher. Jerk.
Ha ha ha.

 

by Glakken
8-12-04
What is "Within You, Without You"?
It is a song by The Beatles, written by George Harrison after he converted to Buddhism.
No. Only Lennon converted. Wait, maybe McCartney too.
I'm pretty sure they all became Buddhists. Except Ringo.
I hate Ringo.
As do I, my young friend... as do I...

 

by Glakken
8-14-04
Soy un perdedor.
Sexx Laws. Milk and Honey. Loser. Leave Me on the Moon.
Beatiful Way. Halo of Gold. Get Real Paid. Devil's Haircut.
I'm a loser, baby...
Alternative Rock.
Folkish Rap.
So don't you kill me?
Beck Beck. Beck. Beck Beck. Beck. Beck Beck. Beck. Beck Beck. Beck. Beck Beck. Beck. Beck Beck. Beck. Beck Beck. Beck.
Midnite Vultures. More Oar... that other album.

 

by Glakken
11-29-04
And that's how I found Jesus.
Huh?
That's a terrible story!

 

by Glakken
11-29-04
I don't know where the 7-11 is. Could you direct me there?
Yeah.... yo' face, Aahhaa aahhaa ha ha.
?
I'm so awesome.
To the library!

 

by Glakken
11-29-04
Paper Mario is the future of video games.
Oh, he's Mr. Chuckwalla, Sabado Grey!
See this? Three dude, I told ya, man. Three dudes!
Man, I can't, I shan't formulate an anthem where the words comprise mnemonics, dreaded mnemonics for pi...
I answered all of our problems... print more money. It'll work.
I went through both lines like "dude" and these two slices of pizza are wicked sweet!

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