All comics by GlendaJo

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by GlendaJo
11-01-13
Against this two-tone green background, my lustrus red hair looks even prettier than usual.
Of course, it would look better if my mousy brown roots weren't showing.
The bone structure on the side of my face that has an ear is quite lovely and more than makes up for the flat side.
Nothing makes up for the flat side. I look like my face got smashed into a cement slab.
And even though my boobies are rectangular, they are quite perky! And who doesn't like perky boobies?
Oh, who am I trying to kid? My tits look like two unwrapped "guest" soaps stolen from the Ramada Inn.

 

by GlendaJo
11-01-13
Honey! This is a warning from the FDA. It says stick people with ping-pong ball heads should not drink Cristal if they have blue bodies.
It doesn't give any details, but maybe we should play it safe and have the Dom Perignon tonight.
I wonder what happends if you ignore the warning.

 

by GlendaJo
11-02-13
Mr. Tibbs, what the hell!
clean my poop pod
Did you REALLY piss in my laundry basket full of clean, folded clothes?
clean my poop pod
What the hell is the matter with you?
clean my poop pod

 

by GlendaJo
11-02-13
Honey, you can't guess what he did this time...
He pissed on his own window perch in the cat room!
clean my poop pod
Not only is the perch disgusting, I put a folded blanket under the cover to make it more comfortable for his fat ass, so that has piss on it, too!
Also, I need a new window perch - mine has pee on it

 

by GlendaJo
11-02-13
GlendaJo, what is that racket coming from the cat room?
clean my poop pod
Mr. Tibbs thought it would be a good idea to knock the water jug off his Le Bistro at 3 o'clock in the morning.
fill my water tower fill my water tower fill my water tower
Honey: Is there water all over the floor? GlendaJo: No, the jug was empty... that's why he knocked it over. Can't you hear him bitching at me?
fill my water tower fill my water tower fill my water tower fill my water tower fill my water tower

 

by GlendaJo
11-02-13
GlendaJo glances into Mr. Tibbs' Cat Room on her way down the hall.
Jesus, how can one cat make so much of a mess? Tibbie what exactly do you do in here?
clean my poop pod
Not only do you have full run of the house, you have your own private room - with art on the walls, no less!
clean my domain clean my domain
...and you turn it into a mess that I have to deal with. Stop bitching at me, dammit!
clean my domain clean my domain clean my domain clean my domain

 

by GlendaJo
11-02-13
There's a reason why Holly hangs out in the Men's Room.
What are you doing in here, little girl?
Practicing my kung foo moves...wanna see some?
Does your skirt twirl up when you do them...hehehe?
Gosh, I'm not sure. Maybe when I do my high kicks. You'd have to stand back so I don't kick you - you could be peeing blood for a week.
A week? A week doesn't sound THAT bad...
Oh, goody, he's gonna go for it!

 

by GlendaJo
11-02-13
It's a cryin' shame.
I never thought I'd live to see the likes of that.
What ever happened to human decency?
If I weren't standing here as a witness, I don't think I'd believe this.
This is giving me a sick headache.
This is giving me a stiffy.

 

by GlendaJo
11-02-13
Melvin is startled by the sight of his childhood priest, Father Peter.
Melvin, why have you strayed from the flock?
Well, I, uh.......
You know you can tell me anything, Melvin. We've been special friends for a long time.
flash back
Melvin confronts Father Peter with the truth about how the events that occurred when he was 16 affected his entire life.
...and I can't go anywhere my invisible car can't go. I don't even know how I got in here.
Oh.

 

by GlendaJo
11-03-13
Mr. Tibbs coughed up a hair ball and part of his lunch on the comforter...the second one this month.
We're down to the last one again. And he has the balls to sit and bitch at me!
clean my poop pod wut? balls? not me, balls? gone, thanks clean my poop pod
Honey has to take the comforters to the coin laundry to use the giant washing machine. He's not too happy about it.
Well, I think Mr. Tibbs can stay in his cat room tonight, GlendaJo.
"cat room", my hairy butt...
Mr. Tibbs spends the next two hours telling Honey and GlendaJo how he feels about things.
Jesus Christ, he just won't give up.
...cat prison more like it, lucky to have kib-blek and water let me out of here let me out of here let me out of here let me out of here let me out of here

 

by GlendaJo
11-03-13
Weekly meeting of "Let's Scrapbook!"
Our operating funds are too low, so get out there and sign up some new members, or we run the risk of losing our chapter.
I wonder why no one is talking to me...it's like I'm invisible.
Sometimes the meetings aren't very interesting. It is what it is! HA!
Although her button collection is quite extensive, I think Mother would prefer that all the buttons stay in the family.
I thought your mother was dead, Kaufman. How would she know what you are doing with her buttons?
Next meeting: Chen's house
Sister Bertilla, isn't it customary for nuns to believe that those who "pass" can observe and protect their loved ones here on Earth?
I'm going to see if I can find Chen. He was looking for his inner struggles, but then he went outside, so I don't know WTF.

 

by GlendaJo
11-05-13
Weekly meeting of "Let's Scrapbook!"
Yearly Treasurer's Report: nothing new there. Okay everyone, let's welcome, Jenni and thank Chen for allowing us to meet at his home(?).
I am so sorry we have to meet at family place of business. Where I live is not suitable for female guests. It is disgrace to me and I shame my family yet again.
It seems the members work on their projects at home, NOT at meetings.
I'm going to let the new member touch my buttons if she wants to. Just don't tell Sister Bertilla - who knew nuns could be so gosh darn mean?
Who knew nuns don't necessarily believe in heaven? Where is she? I don't want her sneaking up on me.
Next meeting: Granny's house
I think I will enjoy this club...I'm very crafty! And I have been told I'm very good with my hands (giggle).
Just don't forget to give your membership fee and weekly dues to our Treasurer, Elvis. We take cash or major credit cards, no checks.

 

by GlendaJo
11-05-13
Tina and Elvis kickin' back at Elvis's.
We have a new member in our Let's Scrapbook! club. She's Granny's neighbor, Jenni.
Do you think she'll stick with it? hahaha! Hey, why didn't you ever invite me to join your club?
It's the thumb thing again, isn't it? Oh, never mind, I have bowling league the same night anyway. Sooooo, this Jenni? What does she do?
It has something to do with forests, or jungles. Something called the urban jungle, maybe? I think I'll make us some vanilla milkshakes, Tina.
Thanks for inviting me over, Elvis. What fun! Vanilla milkshakes!
...the wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round...la la la

 

by GlendaJo
11-06-13
I don't understand you, Tibbie. Sometimes you can be so sweet and loving and the next minute you are just a pain in my ass!
have you ever lived with a cat before?
You are such a wonderful bed-buddy when I take a nap, all cuddly and purry, then you turn around and bite me for no reason at all.
i repeat, have you ever lived with a cat before?
It seems you like me, maybe even love me. but on the other hand I believe you could walk out the door and forget me in a New York minute.
my work here is done, grasshopper clean my poop pod

 

by GlendaJo
11-06-13
Hello, I represent Barnling Circus. I'd like to talk to you about a rewarding career as a member of the Greatest Attraction on Earth.
Did you happen to see an elephant nearby?
Yes, she was quite surly when I tried to talk to her.
That's funny...she's usually very sweet. Let's see what might be bothering her, Mr. Circus Man. Tina! Tina!
Actually, now would be a good time for you to start running...it won't matter, but at least you can say you didn't just stand here like a dolt.

 

by GlendaJo
11-06-13
Hello? Is there anybody out there?
Is there anyone here?
I need to know if you can hear me, I need to know if you understand me, I need to know if I am relevant!
Thanks, Alex, I know you are here.

 

by GlendaJo
11-06-13
Weekly meeting of "Let's Scrapbook!"
Holy crap.
Hi, Kaufman. I heard you have some lovely buttons. Can I see them?
Hey, Jenni...I, uh, yeah, sure you can. They belonged to my mother, Heloise. Uh, do you like my cat? Her name is Eloise. Not Heloise, that would be strange. hehehe
What has you so upset this week, Chen? Still having problems with your scrapbook?
No, right now I am thinking impure thoughts and it brings shame upon my family. But work on my scrapbook is progressing nicely, thanks.
His scrapbook? Oh yeah, scrapbooks! I guess I should make one, but my work as Treasurer keeps me so busy!

 

by GlendaJo
11-06-13
*ick*
I'd like a double bacon wrapped triple cheese deep fried turkey burger.
*ACK*
And if you could sneak me one of those illegal super jumbo sugar-filled carbonated drinks that would be cool.
No problem. $37.26 plus $10.00 bag fee, that's $48.09.
Can you break a twenty?

 

by GlendaJo
11-06-13
I...I...I didn't mean to do it... It just sort of happened.
I understand, Butch, but somehow I don't think a hammer and a couple of nails is enough to fix things this time.
Well, I have a tube of Gorilla glue in my pocket. Do you think that might work?
If nothing else, it would be apropos.
Maybe if you help me fill out the application form, I could qualify for my anatomy merit badge!
That's my Butchie! Always walking on the sunny side of the street!

 

by GlendaJo
11-07-13
What's the problem now, Mr. Tibbs? All of a sudden you don't like your food.
i never liked it
You've been eating the same brand for years, but now, out of the blue, you refuse to eat it.
them's the facts, jack...
Well, I suppose it could be a blockage, so I guess the vet will have to get all up in there and take a look. I'll call to set up an appointment.
perhaps i was being a bit picky... hang up the phone hang up the phone hang up the PHONE i'm EATING IT!!!

 

by GlendaJo
11-07-13
Special meeting: "Let's Scrapbook!" RE: Christmas Party
Chen told me he's making Prune Surprises, and I'll bring my Chocolate Chex Party Mix!
Hmmmm.......... I wonder if anyone would like to taste my Tuna Puffs?
Elvis has told everyone that a variety of sandwiches will be provided by
I would...
I would...
Joe's Deli, but asked the members to bring a selection of hors d'oeuvres.
This could be a game-changer, but... I would, too
As a special treat, I'm bringing Mother's Blue Cheese Balls! Elvis said he's making Crab & Avocado Fritters.

 

by GlendaJo
11-07-13
Weekly meeting of "Let's Scrapbook!"
We have a new member. Everyone welcome Dave to our club! Some of you still need to decide what you are bringing to the Christmas Party.
If we wouldn't have too many kinds of balls, I can make darn good Anchovy Balls...Okay?
Final preparation for Christmas party &
I'll be in the Pocono Mountains the week before the party, so I can bring an assortment of home-made fudge.
Spiced Fava Beans. I bring.
introduction of new member, Dave.
Hiya, Dave! I'm new here, too. You look sort of familiar to me. Do you go downtown much? Well, anyway, this party should be loads of fun!
Elvis, put me on the list for Chocolate Covered Strawberries. Yummm, we could feed them to each oth.....oops, talking out loud again.

 

by GlendaJo
11-08-13
I think this is what's called a "Swan Song". I'm calling it quits for now. Personal reasons...you know how that goes. I won't be on BitStrips either. Just gonna lay low. Thanks for the feedback.
Elvis and Tina remain best buds, the crew at "Let's Scrapbook!" has a good time at the Christmas party, and Mr. Tibbs still wants his poop pod cleaned!

 

by GlendaJo
11-23-13
Oh goody, GlendaJo come back after make BIG deal about she leave. No body care...so she come back and already make too much talking.
Yeah.
I hear her yell, "Elvis, Elvis, where my Elvis?" I say Elvis dead so make her cry, hahaha, like in old comic she make before big drama, "I must leave, personal" - she need new material or stay gone.
Yeah.
I know truth reason why she come back. Big Brother, Alex, GlendaJo ONLY fan...he work too hard, so she make comic so he take break to read. He like Elvis Balance Dog, so we stuck with see more Elvis.
Yeah. And too much talking.

 

by GlendaJo
11-23-13
So, you gave Ron and Nancy monogramed towels for their wedding?
Yeah, they were nice, expensive.
But, Athena, why were YOUR initials on them?
How else would they know who they were from?
What?

 

by GlendaJo
11-23-13
You can't come in my gallery with that animal!
Yes, I can. This is my Mental Well-Being Animal.
Animals are not allowed in this store!
Eloise provides for my Mental Well-Being and we are allowed to shop anywhere we want.
Ironic that the one store that caters to "them", would throw Kaufman and Eloise out. (To be fair, the two of them were in the dressing room at the time.)
Gotta give him cred for the try...meow.
Calm down, Pussy, we'll be home soon. Then you and I will share a nice can of tuna.

 

by GlendaJo
11-25-13
Some felt Holly would be frightened by the mere size of her opponent, but so far, she has hung in there, with her award-winning low kicks.
Stay out my way, little girl, if you wanna be able to WALK out o' here!
Maybe you should stay out MY way, 'cause I don't see no plaster crackin' over there, you big dick.
They've been at it all day! Gosh, folks, I don't know how much more punishment that wall can take! Meanwhile the trash-talk continues.
I'm icy to chill you to the bone, hot to sizzle your shizzel.
"...sizzle your shizzel" Are you sure you're black?
Deep into the night, the contest continues. The audience has gone home, some members stating, "If you've seen one, you've seen 'em all."
Oh, you bitches ain't never seen nothin' this magnificent, this strong, this hard, this penetratin'!
Maybe you should try using your foot... 'cause so far that thing you're usin' doesn't seen to be pentratin' anything.

 

by GlendaJo
11-27-13
There is a rumor going around the office that GlendaJo has made a comic (or 3!) on another site.
She said she wouldn't do that. I think she even PROMISED!
I guess it has something to do with being able to "add expression" to her characters.
We have nice expressions...
And we happen to be very versitile.

 

by GlendaJo
11-28-13
The lack of Thanksgiving strips makes me think they might be considered "un-cool"...what do you think, Tina?
Well, all the strippers could have fallen asleep from the trip-over-fan in the turkey.
What?
What?

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