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| Against this two-tone green background, my lustrus red hair looks even prettier than usual. | |
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| Of course, it would look better if my mousy brown roots weren't showing. | |
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| The bone structure on the side of my face that has an ear is quite lovely and more than makes up for the flat side. | |
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| Nothing makes up for the flat side. I look like my face got smashed into a cement slab. | |
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| And even though my boobies are rectangular, they are quite perky! And who doesn't like perky boobies? | |
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| Oh, who am I trying to kid? My tits look like two unwrapped "guest" soaps stolen from the Ramada Inn. | |
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