All comics by JoeBlough

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by JoeBlough
3-20-19
Yo Rags baby, what say we go to "Woodstock 50"?
Hells bells d_bacon, don't you remember when we tried to attend the original?
Aug. 15th-18th, 1969
I thought you said Jimmy Hendrix and tons o groovy chics would be here, Rags?
That's what the flyer said! Ya think there's a Woodstock somewhere else other than Utah?
This time I'D navigate!
Then...cool! Now to find my bell bottoms, Dashiki & headband!

 

by JoeBlough
3-20-19
Watkins Glen, NY...8/19/2019
What the hell went on here over the weekend?
My info is that some pig and a saucy fat guy caused a mass riot.
How'd they pull THAT off?
They promised the huge crowd they'd be entertained by over 150 bands.
I'm guessin' THAT didn't happen?
Right! All they had was an old boom-box and 20 different "Rockin' to the Oldies" CD's! Chaos then ensued!

 

by JoeBlough
3-20-19
Have you no respect, woman?
What the hell has got yer skivies all in a bunch, baldy?
This is our most holy Temple for worship. Not a place to flaunt breasts and rump.
Shee-it! These here jugs & "Daisy Dukes" get me welcomed anywhere, old man!
A short time later.....
Hey, you can't lock me up in here for "Lewd Behavior! I'd thank you to LET ME GO, PRONTO LIKE!
And if you do, you'd be very welcome!

 

by JoeBlough
3-21-19
At home with Rags & Deb....
Hey Rags, guess what happened to me at "Kroger's" today!
Oh great! A "Grocery Store" quiz!
Curious?
Sure Deb. I can hardly wait! Lay it on me!
The Produce guy mistook ME for Gal Godot!
So how does a blind man weigh produce?

 

by JoeBlough
3-21-19
Rags & d_bacon here yet?
Nope. Neither are Lunch or RCLG!
What the hell? Are we gonna be forced to drink alone here?
Perish the thought...
But we will if we have to, right?
IN-du-bi-dab-ly!

 

by JoeBlough
3-22-19
Home of rag4u, Makin_d_bacon & Deb
There Deb, our 2019 Taxes are DONE!
And none too soon, either! We NEED that refund!
Obviously, Rags & Deb forgot about two years ago!
Offices of the I.R.S. 2017
I thought everybody declares at least a million bucks in donated stuff to Charity?
But YOU claimed you gave a mil to each of five Charities......on the same day!

 

by JoeBlough
3-22-19
Yeah Gary, the Electric Chair is at the end of the hall.
Tell me what to expect, Officer Dave!
Pretty much it's...I throw the switch and YOU pass on.
Yeah, but to where?
I'm Gary! You the "Welcome Wagon"?
Lemme guess....San Quentin, right?

 

by JoeBlough
3-22-19
Listen up Mr. Bell-hop, sir! I need me some Vegas lovin'. Ya know, exotic like?
Gotcha covered, cow-poke!
*knock-knock*
Hot-diggity-dog, She's here!
What the fu..?
You wanted "exotic"? Well here I am!

 

by JoeBlough
3-23-19
Wow! Only 3 entries in evil_d's CC!
So what are YOU gonna do about it, huh?
So Lunch, did ragu4u fire you up enough to make an entry?
That nutty bastard could'nt fire up flash paper with a blow torch!

 

by JoeBlough
3-23-19
This book no make sense to Butch! Stuff all down-side-up!
So what? It's just pictures, you inbred moron! Use your imagination!
Maybe if Butch stand on head?
God, you're such an idiot! Switch places with me!
Well?
WOW! You's a genius, library lady!

 

by JoeBlough
3-23-19
It's Saturday night. Got a date?
Nothing certain but I'm always lookin'!
OK d_bacon, we'll leave the light on for ya. Good luck!
Thanks Rags. Who knows? Tonight I may bring home a little tail.
Late that night.....
Make yourself comfortable! I'll bring us up a box of wine from the cellar.
Boxed wine, eh? It'll go great with the Cheeze-Whiz & Hi-Hos ya got!

 

by JoeBlough
3-24-19
So, I heard you got lucky last night, d_bacon!
Oh geez, sorry Deb! Were we THAT loud?
Let's put it this way...while you two bumped uglies it made the plaster fall on Rags' & my bed, ruining my orgasm.
I'll bet ragu4u was mucho pissed too!
You got THAT right...had he been there!
Oops...TMI! Bye!

 

by JoeBlough
3-24-19
So how did your date go with the pig?
He only wanted me for one thing!
What a...a...a PIG! It's always about sex with them.
Actually, he thought I was a Beluga Sturgeon. It was all about Caviar with him!
But you're a dolphin tail. So what happened?
I took a dump on his sheets and then left while he was getting a spoon! hehehe

 

by JoeBlough
3-24-19
Breaking News: The "Vitalis" company has recalled all their hair tonic due....
...to the fact that it was accidentally mixed with a super strong epoxy glue! May cause hair loss!
No f'n shit! Now I can't unfold my arms either.

 

by JoeBlough
3-24-19
d_bacon, rags, Deb, lunch & Brad......
Who called this gathering?
Beats me!
I'm thinkin it may be RCLG!
Maybe that's him now!
Cool it you guys. Even I don't know what persona he uses! Maybe he'll show us.
*brrrrrng* *brrrng*

 

by JoeBlough
3-24-19
I told ya not to have ANY head to head contact. Now he's dead!
Sorry Coach. It couldn't be helped.
That's just a cop-out!
Really Coach. He was my friend. I just had him to my house for lunch.
Earlier that week......
We gonna have some game on Sunday. Ain't we, my man?
I can dig it. Now where's that "PBnJ" you promised??

 

by JoeBlough
3-25-19
The Stripcreator gang at a bar......
You here for the "Wet Tee-Shirt" contest, Jael?
Damn straight. Are Jenni & Phreaky comin'?
Wouldn't miss it for the world!
You bitches don't stand a chance! They're gettin' ready to judge.
OK all you misfits, malcontents, miscreants and wankers...The winner of the golden "Over-the-Shoulder-Boulder-Holder" goes to the fabulous.....Phreaky!
...by a nipple, no less!

 

by JoeBlough
3-25-19
I ain't no PIMP! I'm a COACH!
Sir, you got an Escalade full of 1/2 naked, white, 19 year old nymphs and a bushel basket of flavored, ribbed condoms! I mean, hello-o??
Them? They be my Sand Volleyball Team. Those condoms be MINE!
Really? Might I have heard of your volleyball team before?
Maybe. Ever hear of the "Cock-sucking, Nympho, Rim Jobbers"?
I'm sorry to say I have NOW!

 

by JoeBlough
3-25-19
Guess the excuse for us loosin' the last CC? I dare ya!
I'm almost afraid to ask but ok......why?
The excuse evil_d gave was, get this..."too new"!
Really? Which two knew? Lunch & Tripod? RCGL & JoeBlough?
No, no, no! NOT two knew; too new! Get it Rags baby??
NO! But what I DID get is that most of my old comics reappeared in the "ReadMyComics" forum. How bout dat?

 

by JoeBlough
3-26-19
Need a lawyer? Come to "Avanetti & Garagos"!
Wow! Those are two high powered Celeb lawyers.
Just call us at 415-454-1460!
I just wonder if...
So d_bacon made the call....
Is this 415-454-1460, the Law Offices of "Avenetti & Garagos"?
You got the right number, but like I said...this is San Quentin Prison!

 

by JoeBlough
3-26-19
ragu4u meets rapper, Danielle Bregoli!
So what do YOU want, young lady?
I wantcha to cash me outside, how bout DAT?
Cashew? Are you a NUT? I prefer almonds, myself.
I didn't say cashew, you dumb mutha fucka...I said "Cash ME, outside. How bout dat"?
So how exactly does one cashew if not with nuts....inside OR outside?
I'm goin' back to see dat quack-fuckstick, Dr. Phil. Least he be able to talk my shit! Ya feelin' me bro?.

 

by JoeBlough
3-27-19
Damnit d_bacon, these CC's get harder every day! Now no "Jew" jokes!
Chill, Rags baby. We can do a "work around"!
Excuse me miss but vich vey ees Disneyvurld?
It's not far but it's way too expensive!
Not to vurry! Valt gives "his people" free lifetime passes!
It sure is odd, but that guy gives me the "jeebies". The HEBE-jeebies"!

 

by JoeBlough
3-27-19
And now..."The Rachel Maddow Show"!
Hey ragu4u, the news is comin 'on!
C'mon, Maddow is already ranting.
I'm comin', I'm comin'!
"...and I STILL say Trump positively colluded with the Russians to....
Hehehe...I just love this guy when he gets on a roll like this!

 

by JoeBlough
3-28-19
I've altered the FAAH1 gene. Recipients will no longer feel pain......EVER!
So I guess you've tested it, right?
Absolutely! The test booth behind us was used for a barage of testing beyond the strength of normal men.
Have the test subject come out of the booth and receive a medal!
...but getting a medal can be a PAIN!
Jesus man! You look like SHIT!
Tell me about it! The Doc is a damned liar. I hurt like hell. Now gimme the friggin' medal before I die!

 

by JoeBlough
3-28-19
He's plotting again!
Says here, "To escape, get keys!"
I'll bet he's gonna go for my keys...
Now I'll just creep into his pock....
Need somthing?
High five, Officer Dave?

 

by JoeBlough
3-28-19
Next on "Dr. Phil" : My Husband is Too BIG For Me!
How silly can she be, Rags! I'll bet he was obese when she married him.
I think she's talkin' bout her "Coochy" and his "Peenola" there, d_bacon.
Yeah...some women have all the LUCK!
But later on, at bed time....
Oh Deb! Snookums? It's THAT day of the month. Time for "Playtime in the Boudoir!"
OK,OK Romeo...hold yer horses! Lemme get the magnifying glass & batteries!

 

by JoeBlough
3-29-19
Say Rags, do you think JoeBlough is really the "mfwic" he claims to be?
"mfwic"? What the hell is THAT?
It means he's the "honcho", the "boss", "#1", "numero uno", the "top dog", the "big kahuna"....
Maybe I just better go look it up...
We'll see what "Urban Dictionay" says about it!
Searching for "MFWIC"...... Result: Mother-Fucker-What's-In-Charge!

 

by JoeBlough
3-29-19
Phreaky's 1st meal out of prison.....
Will you be dining alone, ma'am?
I might. If I had a chair to sit on.
I'm afraid they are all in use in the Banquet Hall. Let me check the bar...
You do that! Bring me what ya got.
There you go, ma'am! Now...may I shove that stool in for you?
Damn! At least let me eat first, you horny lil bitch!

 

by JoeBlough
3-29-19
Oh dear...you're way too defensive on this.
I know as his father-in-law I should kick his cheating ass but...
Don't try to deny it. I can tell every time you waltz in smelling of cheap sex and horny as a hoot owl! I'm LEAVING YOU!
...I remember what it's like when I was a wild young buck ruttin' round the females...
After Martha left in a huff....
I told ya boy...a little split tail now & then is cool but only in moderation!
Screw THAT! I'm going to the museum. I'm told there's a lot of doe scents there.

 

by JoeBlough
3-30-19
That meteor wiped out all the vegetation. We're gonna go extinct!
We? You got a Mouseasorous in yer pocket?
How could I? I don't wear pants!
True...true! And that's a GOOD thing because they'd stick in my teeth!
What? TMI?

 

by JoeBlough
3-30-19
Today class, we have a special guest. Fred Rogers!
Fred Rogers? Mr. Rogers from TV?
What's taking so long?
Yes class, "THE" Mr. Rogers from PBS!
But, alas, upon entering the classroom
So where is the class?
Well...they all yelled, "Screw that faggot!", and then jumped out the window!

 

by JoeBlough
3-31-19
At home with ragu4u & Makin_d_bacon
Hey Rags baby, I got some good news & I got some bad news.
Ok d_bacon, I'll bite! Gimme the good news first.
RCLG said all your deleted comics were found at "Garbage-Land".
And now the bad news?
All your deleted comics were found at "Garbage-Land".
He can be such a little prick!

 

by JoeBlough
3-31-19
Brad? Ragu4u, here!
Ragu4u, huh? There's no "Brad" here. Lose this number.
Playin' hard to get, eh? What's this I hear about where you sent my old comics?
What? You're br...ake..n up! I c...an't he..ar you!
Bullshit! You hear me fine! You DO recall I have influence with the Lithuanian Mafia? So be warned. Three John Wicks just might be heading to Canada!
Oh great! Just what I need. A homicidal, Lithuanian version of the "Three Stooges": Dovydas, Jokubas & Azuolas!

 

by JoeBlough
3-31-19
At home with Deb & ragu4u
Rags, you just got the strangest phone call.
Really? From who?
Beats me. They spoke some kinda Baltic-broken English in a very threatening way!
Aha! The hit-men are on the move!
All I could make out was that they weren't sure where to go so I gave em' OUR address!
Thanks Deb, you're the great...WAIT, you gave em' OUR address? Oh boy!

 

by JoeBlough
3-31-19
To the Stripcreator.com Family:
It's Sunday. Make sure to attend...
...worship services of your choice!
Ya gotta admit, Pops, they do TRY!
Meh!
Man, where did all these cartoonists come from?
Looks like Porky & Sauce Boy are having a pledge drive!

 

by JoeBlough
4-01-19
I see Joe Biden got caught petting some pussies!
That's not as bad as being caught while eating them, Mr. President!
Oh, so you're one who thinks pussy eating is bad, huh?
I didn't say THAT! When done properly, it's good for the giver & the receiver.
And "I" am the properest giver there is!!
Don't I know, daddy! Don't I know!

 

by JoeBlough
4-01-19
Inside a local "Burger King".....
Would you like to try our NEW "Whopper"?
New, huh? New how?
It's 100% Vegan!
Vegan? What kinda meat is THAT?
Well...um...uh...actually sir, it's the choicest of cuts taken from only "free range" Texas Wilde-veegs!
Ooh! I'll take four. And hold the damned lettuce. I HATE that shit!

 

by JoeBlough
4-01-19
I off to work, Hiromi!
Tell me Chen, how would this ass look in Yoga Pants?
What ass?
Well? How would it look?
Maybe, "Like an anorexic Twiggy!", wasn't the best response?
Ya think?

 

by JoeBlough
4-02-19
"He went away and you hung around and bothered me, every night, and when he wouldn't go out with you, you said things that weren't very nice..."
"Crabby's back and you're gonna be in trouble (Hey-la-day-la Crabby's' back) You see him comin' better cut out on the double (Hey-la-day-la Crabby's back)..."
"He's been gone for such a long time (Hey-la-day-la old Crabby's back) Now he's back and things'll be fine (Hey-la-day-la old Crabby's back)..."
"You're gonna be sorry you were ever born (Hey-la-day-la my Crabby's back) 'Cause he's kinda big and he's awful strong (Hey-la-day-la my Crabby's back)..."
We leavin' already?
Yeah! This "Welcome Wagon" bull-shit sucks!

 

by JoeBlough
4-02-19
But me madre ees in USA. She need Pedro!
Sorry, you greasy beaner, the border is C-L-O-S-E-D!
"Viva la revelucion, hombres!"
You'll NEVER knock down this wall no matter how many push-mowers you loony landscapers ram into it!
...but RAM, they did!
See? You loco en la cabeza!
I shoulda expected it; letting them beaners build the damned thing!

 

by JoeBlough
4-03-19
A queue in Brad's "Stripcreator" office.
He's totally devastating!
Revolting!
Fucked up!
And so insensitive, too!
So what ya gonna do about em'?
JoeBlough has been active for about 2 weeks and already I got pissed off Queers, Kikes, Neegs, Chinks & Dikes? He'll just LOVE it!

 

by JoeBlough
4-03-19
A 1966 Talent Contest, Brooklyn NY...
Folks, we'll begin with "The Clay Brothers " reciting a poem!
*Ahem* "How much wood coulda Woodchuck chuck, if a Woodchuck could chuck wood?"
"He'd fuckin' chuck enough fuckin' wood that a fuckin' Woodchuck could chuck, if a fuckin' Woodchuck could fuckin' chuck wood!"
...spawned the "Dice-Man"!
Er....uh....thank you Ernie & your very descriptive brother Andrew D.!

 

by JoeBlough
4-04-19
Former V.P. Joe Biden would like a word!
He would, would he? He better not get all touchy, feeley!
I'll convey your comments to him!
Where exactly does he wanna have this word, anyhow?
I'm sure he'll leave THAT up to you!
Fine. He can cash me outside! How bout dat?

 

by JoeBlough
4-05-19
Ranger Rick at The Grand Canyon
Goodbye, you money grubbin' world! 3...2...1...Geroni..
Oh no! Not again?
...m-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh!
Shit! Here he comes!
Sorry, but if ya live, I still gotta "ticket" ya, dude!
*ugh* It figures!

 

by JoeBlough
4-05-19
...stays in the Lou!
You rang, Deb?
Yeah Rags. I wanted to know what exactly you & d_bacon were up to last night?
Up to? Us? Well...uh
Don't try and play stupid with me, buster! I'm wise to you guys & all the Tom-Foolery!
But she knows NOTHING about our "JoeBloughery!" Bwahahahaha

 

by JoeBlough
4-06-19
Inside JoeBlough's Fortress of Solitude
See him anywhere, Rags baby?
Nah, d_bacon! He's all into that "cloak-n-dagger" crapola!
But we're his "peeps"! He shouldn't be a mystery to US!
He's no mystery to ME, sow belly!
There ya go, sinking to name calling again. I'm surprised J.B. puts up with you!
Oh really? Fact is...he doesn't make a MOVE without runnin' it past ME first! He's a perfectionist like that!

 

by JoeBlough
4-06-19
What the...?
Hey! Joe Biden is sniffing my...
That old DOG! Wait for it! Wait for it!
...my....my....pasta sauce!
Man, ragu4u will be pissed!
Hands off the polpette, buster!

 

by JoeBlough
4-06-19
This line is taking forever!
It's Tarrantino's 9th film. That's why!
It IS? And here I thought it was a "Deep Throat" marathon in 3D!
That kinda thing interests you, does it?
So, naturally, Jimmy concluded....
I'll tell ya this much, she begged for it but she definitely wasn't no Linda Lovelace!
And you're pressing charges because she refused to pay you, right? Seems fair to me!

 

by JoeBlough
4-07-19
Hey there Sailor...lookin' for a date?
A date?
Yeah, a date!
To be honest, I'm partial to figs.
Was I right or was I right?
Yup! Dumber than a bag-o-hammers!

 

by JoeBlough
4-07-19
I saw ragu4u & Makin_d_bacon hanging out in the Vestibule!
Really, Sister? Maybe God has finally gotten thru to them.
So you're thinking they may, at long last, join us for worship service?
Stranger things have happened & God does work in mysterious ways! So.........
I'll lock the front!
I'll kill the lights!

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