All comics by Judas

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by Judas
9-19-02
Louie tries to get laid...
Hey little girl, you want a lollipop?
....
Chavez tries to get laid!
So do all you Asian chicks like to be peed on?
...
Shatterhaze tries to get laid!
Open the box! I've got a surprise for you!
Aren't you supposed to be blue? Chitter...

 

by Judas
9-19-02
Meanwhile... in the dimensional headquarters of evil...
So, did you here about that quarterstaff fighter who totally walked the field in Mordor last week?
Nope.
He walked the field 'cause everyone was too afraid of his /337 quarterstaff skills to fight him... *snicker*
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

by Judas
9-19-02
Hello!
Hi there!
I am the ghost of Madog's integrity! Who are you?
I am the ghost of Judas' sex drive!
What happened?
He saw Legion naked.

 

by Judas
10-11-02
Judas is pulled into the secret evil dimension!
Whoa! Hey Cthulu! What's that in your hand?
This is the greatest thing ever created: Midget Bread.
Midget Bread?
It allows you to see a vision of the world.
Sounds really not-heterosexual and/or hippyish to me.
Shut up and eat the bread, peacequeer.

 

by Judas
10-11-02
Judas is in the evil dimension!
What's so interesting about seeing the world?
It's not really THE WORLD. It's a figurative representation of how you see the world.
Wha...?
It's a look at your innermost feelings about the world, kind of like a psychological self-evaluation in a loaf of tiny bread.
Wow, sounds like it'd be an interesting peek into the minds of several people!
Nice segue... now eat the bread you fag.

 

by Judas
10-11-02
Judas ate the bread!
Okay, now what...
Tell me what you see.
THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!
....
Never ever ATTEMPT to reference that show again or I'll show you why I have all these tentacles!
Urgh... don't threaten me with a... *COUGH*... good time...

 

by Judas
10-11-02
Judas ate the bread!
Okay, this time I'm serious...
Tell me what you see.
I need a cigarette.
Be more funny or you'll be smoking my cock in hell!

 

by Judas
1-22-03
We interrupt the normal faggery to bring you this!
T Judas what's up?
Well, I've been quite busy actually. My life is full of excitement and mirth!
Have you made any new comics yet?
.....
I'll make more, don't worry.
Ow...
Impatience is the path to a beating.

 

by Judas
2-05-03
Judas is visited by an old friend
Well, if it isn't Gothmog the Bloodletter! How the hell are you, kid?
My anus is bleeding, and I've got bruised testicles.
Sounds like someone pissed off their better half.
Yep. I ate all the pizza.
You are the most pussy-whipped bitch in the world!
And how!

 

by Judas
2-05-03
Gothmog the Bloodletter is here!
So Zip... uh Gothmog, what brings you to my hood?
Well, I'm sick of Rivendell, and I thought I'd come check out Mordor!
Really...
Yeah... I've kicked everyone's ass in my kingdom. Time to conquer new ground!
Your wife locked you out of the house, didn't she?
Help me, please!

 

by Judas
2-05-03
Gothmog is here!
So, what do you want me to do?
I need some way to deal with my wife! She beats me unmerciful!
First off, brush your teeth!
Not until I get new ones!
Fine, I'll go get the baseball bat, and blame what I'm about to do on Squawk. The money from the civil suit will buy your new teeth.
Please don't hurt me, I'll be good!

 

by Judas
2-05-03
Gothmog is here!
See, that's your problem. Even the threat of violence makes you whimper like a little girl!
I blame you!
Me?
Yeah, before my wife, you beat me unmerciful even in your sleep!
I wasn't beating you, I was flogging the dirt off you, like a carpet.
That's no excuse!

 

by Judas
2-05-03
Gothmog is here!
Right, well if I broke you, I'm gonna fix you. You need to learn how to fight. Put 'em up!
Right!
What an exciting fight scene!
What the fuh...
The correct response to a violent situation is not yanking down your pants and grabbing your ankles!
But it's what I'm best at!

 

by Judas
2-05-03
Gothmog is here!
I think it's pretty obvious that you're hopeless. You'll have to live with the fact that you're a bitch.
*sniff* Okay...
But cheer up, I'll send you somewhere where they need men like you!
Whatha...
THE END
You've got a purty mouth...
Oh my, it must be my birthday!

 

by Judas
2-18-03
News!
Arr... Due to an eye injury, I am now a pirate.
No one cares. Just get it over with.
BLIPPY!
AAAAAHHHHH!
Arr... How anti-climatic.

 

by Judas
4-26-03
Imporant Announcement
...Ahem....
DALMAR IS THE WORLDS BIGGEST FAG!
That is all.

 

by Judas
4-26-03
Dalmar has arrived!
Well if it isn't Dalmar!
Why the hell am I an angel?
Because you're a dark angel wannabe. And a eunuch.
Just because I'm an assassin doesn't mean I'm a DA wannabe!
But you are a eunuch. Now, could you jerk me off? It's kind of hard when one of my hands is a hook.

 

by Judas
4-26-03
Dalmar is here!
Judas, you're a racist, misogynistic, homophobic waste of space!
And you're a fag.
Great comeback, you fucker.
Do you suck your boyfriend's shit-covered cock with that mouth, fag?
Why do you keep insisting that I'm gay?
I still want that handjob, fag.

 

by Judas
4-26-03
Dalmar is still here!
I want you to stop calling people names! We're all kids and you're hurting our feelings.
And I want you to give me a handjob.
Maybe you could get some pussy if you weren't such a raging asshole.
I don't need sex advice from a faggot. Now, get to work.
*sigh* If I do it, will you shut up?
Nope. But I promise I won't cum on your face.

 

by Judas
4-26-03
Dalmar is still here!
Where the hell do you get these fucked up ideas?
Exhibit A.
Dicks.
My balls in your mouth.
PLUG!
That's not funny.
Jerkcity is ingenius, I tell you!

 

by Judas
4-26-03
Dalmar is still here!
I'll just beat the hell out of you, then you'll shut up.
You tried that. This is me still talking shit, fag. Oh, I owe you for that stomach shot. GLOTH!
GLOTH SMASH!
Aaaah!
Oww...
This is so much more satisfying than doing it myself. Now, about that handjob...

 

by Judas
4-26-03
Dalmar is still here!
Fine then, I'll just get you banned from Dagorhir.
They've already tried that. I'll just send people who are worse than me.
I'll fuck your mother while you're tied up crying like a little bitch!
Who was that?
Gnome.

 

by Judas
4-26-03
Dalmar is still here!
What if I offer you drugs?
I work for a living, son. I can't do drugs all the time. (why ya got any?)
I've got this ecstacy...
FAG! RAVER FAG! This proves it!
*sigh*
Why don't you pop a couple of those pills and bend over, sweet cheeks?

 

by Judas
4-26-03
Dalmar is still here!
Okay... whip it out...
Horray for handjobs!
And then what happened Father Guthrie?
Well, my son. Judas came on his face and went to bed.
THE END
But he promised not to!
The moral of the story is: Always expect a shot in the face if you give a handjob. Speaking of which...

 

by Judas
4-26-03
Important Announcement
JUDAS TELL GLOTH TO TELL YOUS HE NO REALLY WANT HANDJOB FROM DALMAR!
BUT AFTER GLOTH SPEND TIME WITH DALMAR GLOTH THINK JUDAS SHOULD CHANGE MIND!
HA HA HA HA HA! GLOTH WIN!

 

by Judas
4-26-03
I just saw the gayest guy on Earth
Your favorite band is Supertramp
You got date raped
Ha ha, your wife left you
You're old, fuck you
You're a trendy fucking pussy

 

by Judas
4-27-03
Chupa is here!
CHUPA!
JUDAS!
We're going to put Mexican Judo and Jewjitsu to the test today... and... um...
What's wrong?
I don't have a punchline.
That's not funny.

 

by Judas
6-19-03
You're not supposed to be here...
Eat this cactus I found.
?!?!?!?!?!
You should have taken the blue pill, Neo!
?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
I WIN!

 

by Judas
6-19-03
So, you paid Shadow to come here and get me high so you could win?
Yep. Joo didn't know if I had a Shadow.
That was awfully Jewish of you.
I use what works.
Well, Joo don't know if I'm still tripping and invunerable to pain...
I'm going this way!

 

by Judas
6-19-03
Poorly drawn fight scene!
SWORDED!
ARROWED!
Poorly drawn fight scene!
BURNINATED!
GERBILED!
I thought you were using Mexican Judo, not Spanish Judo!
Sorry.

 

by Judas
6-19-03
The battle continues...
I'll fix you yet...
Try it. Joo still don't know what I got.
POLICE BRIBED!
I AM POLICE!
AAAAHHHH! No tengo mis papeles!

 

by Judas
6-19-03
WE INTERRUPT THE FIGHT FOR THIS SPECIAL BULLETIN!
Hi. We just wanted to let you know that Judas isn't a racist.
Yeah. So to atone for that last joke, Chupa is going to fire one back at him.
Hey Judas, you didn't have to bring the whole family!
Heh heh, fire. Back to more offensive tripe.
I like rice.

 

by Judas
6-19-03
The battle continues...
BRUTALITIZED!
*cough* You didn't count on something...
What that?
Joo didn't know that I had a video camera...
RODNEY KINGED!

 

by Judas
6-19-03
The battle continues...
Fool! There is even a counter to the Rodney King defense!
What's that?
FOX NEWSED!
This is Brit Hume reporting on a day when an illegal immigrant tried to rob us of our valuable tax dollars by framing our fine law enforcement personell...
Aw crap...

 

by Judas
6-20-03
The battle continues...
I guess it's a draw...
Why, you out of ideas?
Yep...
Yep...
Spic.
Kike.

 

by Judas
6-20-03
The battle continues...
Wanna go grab a beer?
Okay.
What're you drinking?
Corona.
WHAT?!?!?!
I'm going this way now!

 

by Judas
6-20-03
The battle continues...
PBR!
CORONA!
PBR!
CORONA!
Anchor Steam!
STAY OUT OF THIS, HIPPIE!

 

by Judas
6-20-03
The battle continues...
PBR!
CORONA!
Wait... who's buying?
Um...
GLOTH BUY!
Pitcher of margaritas it is!

 

by Judas
6-20-03
Two pitchers of margaritas later...
Yep.
Yep.
Five pitchers of margaritas later...
Joo don't know if I have a sword!
Yesh I do, it's in your hand!
Ten pitchers of margaritas later...
GLOTH CUT YOUS TWO OFF!
I'LL CUT YOU OFF!

 

by Judas
6-20-03
Later...
Let's never fight again.
Yeah. Let's go beat up Shadow and take his wallet.
Now wait a minute...
CHARGE!
THE END
...After the beating, I decided never to drink tequila again.
Fine, more for me.

 

by Judas
6-23-03
What do you want?
Can you watch my puppy for a week?
But I've gotta get to Ohio...
I'll let you play with the rib spreader and the hot pokers...
If you don't get it, you don't want to.
I've got my own.
You actually bought a rib spreader?

 

by Judas
6-30-03
Please...?
No!
Please...?
Fuck off, man!
I'll violate anyone of your choice...
Now we're getting somewhere!

 

by Judas
7-07-03
The dog's over there.
THAT'S the dog?
WHAT?!
See you in a week!
....

 

by Judas
7-07-03
So... what do you eat.
I'm a vegetarian.
What the fuck kind of dog doesn't eat meat?
Just fuckin' with ya. I eat brains.
Brains?
BRAINS!

 

by Judas
7-07-03
BRAINS!
BRAINS!
BRAINS!
BRAINS!
That never gets old.
Nope.

 

by Judas
7-07-03
So, where around here do you get brains?
You look like you have some.
No, seriously...
BRAINS!
You're a dick, I'll be back.

 

by Judas
7-07-03
Here ya go little buddy!
Hey there, puppy!
POORLY DRAWN MURDER!
BRAINS!
Send more cops...

 

by Judas
7-29-03
Six Hundred Sixty-Six Police Officers later...
This is getting boring...
BRAINS!
Don't you want to go do something else?
BRAINS!
I'll fix you yet...
DON'T SAY FIX AROUND A DOG!

 

by Judas
7-29-03
Hey Gloth, there's dinner!
GLOTH HUNGRY!
PUPPY?!
BRAINS?!
JUDAS! HIM NOT FOOD!
Judas, him not have BRAINS!

 

by Judas
7-29-03
So Gloth, how do you kill a brain-eating dog?
UMMM....
BRAINS!
That's what I thought you'd say.
GLOTH SMASH!

Showing page 2.

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