All comics by KainThornn

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by KainThornn
8-30-11
Dr. Simmons needed to hear from his colleague.
Yes! Thank you, I'm feeling much better now!
Good ta have yew back, Doc!
Now that you are your old self again, can we get a prognosis on the guys?
Yes, of course! Stinking Cowboy is a bright and sensitive young man with a strong work ethic, and can overcome anything...
Thank yew doc!
An hour later...
...thus his mother did actually love him, but her own insecurities prevented her from being able to express that love...
*zzzzzzz*

 

by KainThornn
8-30-11
I'm glad THAT'S done!
Sakes alive, Boyboy, Doc Simmons shore kin talk up a storm!
Did he mention me?
Boyboy, the short version is you're just fine.
Yep, ole Doc Simmons done said that very thing, an' futhermore he added that y'all bein' mean ta me all thuh time ain't rilleh y'all fault...
Short version accepted, Stinkeroony.
An hour later...(again??)
...an' then when ya daddy put on ya momma's clothes he din't stop lovin ya.
What happened to doctor-patient confidentiality?

 

by KainThornn
8-30-11
Back to a normal life!
Awright, Boyboy, t'day ah'm gone learn yuh how to rope a horse!
Why do I need to learn?
Here it comes...
Wall it's a pawrt a American hist'ry!
Why rope horses when we have cars?
Zap!
Cuz yer only 12 years old smarty. Ah dun see no driver's license!
I got pwned!

 

by KainThornn
9-14-11
Alright guy, now what?
Whale, yew done dug us outta th' dirt so yew hafta write funny lines
Wow, you're as optimistic Sorry guys, I'm blankas malodorous ya know?
Sorry guys, I'm blank here
Ah dunno wot ta tell yuh there, writer man.
Tell him to write funny lines for us
Sometimes it's hard to write...
Wah did th' chicken cross thet thar road?
To find something more interesting than this drivel?

 

by KainThornn
9-14-11
Therapy continues for our friend...
...so y'see doc, ah jus' have trouble dealin' with th' way Boyboy talks tuh me.
Understandibly so! Your need for acceptance and his need for control are counteractive in his personality, and when the two of you are in the same room it manifests as hostility...
...
...even if he's not meaning to be hostile. Your best bet would be to try taking what he says as humor, rather than insult. He doesn't mean to be insulting.
...
Alrighty.
See you next week!

 

by KainThornn
9-14-11
Home again...
So did Dr. Simmons give you something for that serious BO?
Nahh, he was unconscious th' whole time, so ah done raided his wallet.
Wait, what?
No way! That's cool!
An' ah done spent all th' money on health food and vetch tibbles.
I'm lost here...
WHY?!?
Ah'm addin' gas to mah arsenal of foul smellin' weapons!

 

by KainThornn
9-14-11
This can't end well...
Supper's ready!
What we having?
Meat!
Asparagus casserole, alfalfa sprout pie, and tofu tea!
****
WHAT??
Laff it up Boyboy, ah know where the AC intake is...
But...but...but

 

by KainThornn
9-14-11
Told you!
Boyboy where are ya?
LEAVE ME ALONE!
Uh oh...
Revenge is sweet!
But your stench isn't!
You're just wrong Cowboy...
Don't blame me! You write all mah words
All of you hate me!

 

by KainThornn
9-14-11
Hey Boyboy, how are you?
*sniffff* clean and fresh? Where's Stinking Cowboy?
He wasn't here when I got here.
I'm loving this clean air!
You're too mean to him.
Look, just because YOU can't smell him through the strip...

 

by KainThornn
9-14-11
I have to write in the smell, it's something to work from
Why couldn't you make him stupid, or with some kinda foreign accent?
Southern accents are hard enough to write...
Any harder than French or German accents?
Well...
Guten tag! Ze Kowboystinkerren hass returned! I reek uff ze schnitzel undt gerroten cabbachess!
Now that's just plain ridiculous...

 

by KainThornn
3-09-12
Say thar, Boyboy, did ya 'member ta feed yer goldfish?
I fed one of them already. To the cat!
Dagnabbit, Boyboy, why do ya hafta be s' dern cruel?
It's okay, it was dead already!
Aw dang, Boyboy, why did ya goldfish die?
Forgot to feed them...

 

by KainThornn
5-17-13
It's been a long time since we've done anything!
I'll say!
We missed a whole lotta birthdays n holidays.
Uncool!
Ah shore am hongry!
You're a digital drawing, how can you be hungry?

 

by KainThornn
5-18-13
Before we git a goin, did ya turn off the stove?
Stove? We didn't use it this morning!
Ah know, but ah jus' wanna be safe!
You should ask if I turned off the iron!
Oh...uh...did ya turn off th' iron?
Iron? We didn't use it this morning!

 

by KainThornn
5-18-13
It's Sunday!
Yup!
What are we up to today?
Nuthin!
How is that different from the rest of the week for you?
One a these days, ah'm gonna smack him into next Tuesday!

 

A moment of silence to pray, send well wishes, positive thoughts, etc...for the people who suffered losses due to today's tornado activities...
by KainThornn, 5-20-13

 

by KainThornn
5-21-13
Have you heard from Dr Simmons lately?
Ah don't reckon ah have! Did ya miss an appointment?
I don't remember the last one I had. I remember he was starting to come apart.
When ya spend ya days listenin' to people's problems, ya tend to develop a few of y' own!
...and that, Doctor Paperclip, is when I knew my parents were holograms.
I see! I suggest you book a few appointments here and we get started helping you get those voices out of your head!

 

by KainThornn
5-22-13
...and my whole life has been changed forever when, not just one, but two of my patients suggested this is all a badly written comic strip!
That's a pretty heavy load to be dropped on your shoulders, Dr Simmons! Why did you take them so seriously?
While I was treating them, there would be a voice that was heard by my patient and myself. Both patients involved claimed that was someone they referred to as "the writer"
Have you heard the voice since they completed treatment?
Nope. I've been out of it for a while now.
No...but...there...I...he...hear...GAHHHH!
Hey there, Kain, long time no see!

 

by KainThornn
5-23-13
Good to see you, Dr Paperclip!
THAT'S HIM! THAT'S THE VOICE!!
Oh, calm down, Dr Simmons! There's nothing to be afraid of!!
Woops...did I cause a problem?
GAHHH!! WHO ARE YOU??
Dr Simmons, this is the guy who writes this strip! It's going to be all right!
I think Dr Simmons is a little over excited...
*Thud*
I hope he doesn't need CPR...I'm a paper clip fer cryin' out loud!

 

by KainThornn
5-24-13
Thank you for bringing me to the hospital, Dr Paperclip!
You're welcome Dr Simmons! You gave us...um...me quite a scare!
What happened? I'm a little fuzzy upstairs...
We were discussing that voice known as "the writer" and you had a panic attack and passed out.
What triggered the panic attack?
There's not enough panels or space in these strips to go into that. We have to wait until tomorrow!

 

by KainThornn
5-26-13
Well he done it again!
Or didn't do it!
He done fergot to make a strip for Saturday
And almost missed Sunday
Maybe we chould draw him as an ugly little girl?
I agree completely. He can't retaliate this time!

 

by KainThornn
5-27-13
Ah think the writer is getting tarred of us!
I hope not! I like giving you a hard time!
Thanks...I think..?
You're welcome!

 

by KainThornn
5-28-13
...so hearing the voice of "the writer" sent you into a panic episode.
What does all that mean? Am I just a figment of someone's imagination?
No, no, we're all quite real. Your years of college and degrees in psychiatry are all actual.
But if all that is real, why do we only seem to exist in a poorly written comic strip?
It's just a matter of accepting what is. Our lives are as real as we make them.
Perhaps you are correct. Perhaps I need to focus on what is, rather than what is not. Perhaps I should focus on that dream date with Halle Berry...

 

by KainThornn
5-29-13
...and then he fainted. I feel awful!
You scared Dr Simmons to death!
Naww, ah think he jus' made the doc all nervous!
Dr Paperclip worked with him to help him get past his feelings of being unreal.
Reality blows! I like being in a comic strip!
Be nice now, Boyboy, do yuh remember whut happens when ya ain't nice?
This..?
()&@#%^
Ah oughtta wash yer mouth out with soap young...ah...lady! Can ya draw me up some Lever 2000?

 

by KainThornn
5-29-13
The writer won't be here today, he has some business to attend to!
It ain't easy writin this strip day in an day out!
If he's not here today, who's writing the strip?
Ah reckon that's a dang good question!
It's okay, Boyboy, I'll take care of things around here!

 

by KainThornn
5-30-13
Sooo...Boyboy sneaks into Cowboy's room...
...finds a bunch of porno mags under the matress ...
...and...
"Plants", get it right ya dang fool, he PLANTS a bunch of porno mags...dadgummit...

 

by KainThornn
5-31-13
While the writer is away, I thought I'd fill in and run the strip for a while!
Dadgummit, don't ya know anything about us? Ah'm th' only sensible one here! Boyboy is a rotten kid!
I've read all the previous strips, and I must say, Boyboy is right about how you got your nickname! *phew*
Now yew jus' put all thet nonsense outta yer...haid..ah'm jus' a hardworkin' ranch hand!
You know, I could write that malodorous nature completely out...
We're a comic strip, ain't no one gonna smell nuthin no how!

 

by KainThornn
6-01-13
...so then he stormed off. What a temper!
You could say it "stinks"!
I told him that I could write that out of the strip.
Are you sure the writer won't mind you fooling with his work?
Think about it for a moment. Think very hard.
NOOOOOOO!!!!

 

by KainThornn
6-03-13
What's all this then?
Uh...Hi, Writer! We were, um, discussing the storyline...yeah...that's right..!
Dr Paperclip is power mad!
First let me fix this...
NOO!! I HAVE POWERRRRR!
Ahhh put a sock in it ya rusty wire!
Now, now, Dr Paperclip, I only asked you to fill in for a bit, now this?
...must...escape...
He's getting away!

 

by KainThornn
6-03-13
What's all this then?
Uh...Hi, Writer! We were, um, discussing the storyline...yeah...that's right..!
Dr Paperclip is power mad!
First let me fix this...
NOO!! I HAVE POWERRRRR!
Ahhh put a sock in it ya rusty wire!
Now, now, Dr Paperclip, I only asked you to fill in for a bit, now this?
...must...escape...
He's getting away!

 

by KainThornn
6-04-13
Everything is back to normal, guys, carry on...
Are yuh gonna bring him back ever again?
Yichh! I hope not! He's a creep!
Until Dr Simmons is done with treatment, Dr Paperclip will have to come back at some point.
Tarnation!
Bogus!
Unless you guys want me to make up another doctor?
Land sakes! Would yuh dew thet fer us?
As long as the next doctor isn't office supplies!

 

by KainThornn
6-05-13
I've found a doctor who can complete Dr Simmon's treatments!
That's right neighborly of yuh, writer!
This new doctor isn't office supplies, is he? She? It?
Nope, I found a real live comic strip human who's a perfect match for Dr Simmons!
Ah hope he gets better soon, ah like ol Doc Simmons!
Me too!
Dr. Simmons?
This has to be a hidden camera program...

 

by KainThornn
6-07-13
You've responded well to treatments, I'd have to say you're just fine!
Thank you, my good man, I feel so very much better!
I can't help but notice the similarities in out appearances!
I agree, sir, our attire does share an uncanny resemblance!
Richard?
Andrew?

 

by KainThornn
6-11-13
Cowboy?
Cowboy?
Dear Boyboy, I had to go back to Texas cos my paw is real sick and maw needs me at home. It was great hangin out with ya and I hope you'll come visit some time. Your friend always, Stinking Cowboy
Cowboy..?

 

by KainThornn
4-05-14
Cowboy!!
Wall hey thar Boyboy, it shore is good ta see yuh!
What are you doing here?
Maw won thuh lottery n runt off ta Monaco with paw, an' sold thuh ranch right along with mah job, fer me so I founded Cowboyco, LLC
Wait, you're the CEO of this place?
Ah git bored sittin in thuh office. Ah come down here tuh photocopy mah buns.

 

by KainThornn
4-05-14
This here's mah office, Boyboy
Awesome! What does Cowboyco LLC do?
We're a multi billion dollar global corporation that focuses on the needs of the modern ranch worker. We engineer...*blah*...*blah*...
Oh...
3 hours later...
...*blah*...*blah*... and ranch workers globally are more productive and enriched in their daily lives.
So you make things for guys who are ankle deep in the bull?

 

by KainThornn
4-06-14
Hey guys! Great being together again!
Ah see thuh narrator is back also!
I hope he doesn't bring back stupid characters!
Yeah, that paperclip was pretty awful
What about Dr. Simmons?
I liked Dr. Simmons!
As long as you two are feeling fine, he's kinda out of work.
Uh...ah sees giant bunnies!
Er...woof woof..?

 

by KainThornn
4-08-14
Wall hey thar, Dr. Simmons!
Greetings, my good man! It has been a while since we met, how are you?
Ah'm doin real good n Boyboy is all right!
Excellent! I had been wondering how the two of you were doing!
Uh, thuh narrator said he'd be bringin yuh back if somethin was wrong...
I see! My services must be in demand once again!

 

by KainThornn
4-08-14
Hey Dr. Simmons! How are you?
Hello, Boyboy! Marvellous seeing you! How have you been, young man?
I've been great! Cowboy hired me and Mom here in his company!
Ah, yes, his company! I've been brought in as the company counsellor and motivational speaker!
So you're gonna help us feel better and tell us stuff like "Doing tomorrow what can be done today is like eating the dessert first"?
Well, no, more like "Why are you standing around when you're on the clock?"

 

by KainThornn
8-10-18
Wow! That was some vacation!
Shore is good ta be back!
I bet you’re glad to have people keeping the company going!
Ah do? Whar in tarnation are they?
Six months ago...
I’ve been here a year and have yet to meet the owner!
Owner? I’ve been living in that cubicle for months, I thought this was some high end flop house!

 

by KainThornn
8-10-18
Wow! That was some vacation!
Shore is good ta be back!
I bet you’re glad to have people keeping the company going!
Ah do? Whar in tarnation are they?
Six months ago...
I’ve been here a year and have yet to meet the owner!
Owner? I’ve been living in that cubicle for months, I thought this was some high end flop house!

 

by KainThornn
8-14-18
Boyboy finally gets recognition in the company...
As chief executive officer, ah promote yew ta top utility running director!
Awesome! What kinda duties will I have?
Wait for it...
Y’all gonna be responsible fer makin’ sure th’ office runners are doing their jobs!
Yeah! I’m a boss now! I get to tell people what to do!
Pow!
Yup! Yew are now Boyboy, T.U.R.D.
Too cool! Wait a second...

 

by KainThornn
8-14-18
Boyboy finally gets recognition in the company...
As chief executive officer, ah promote yew ta top utility running director!
Awesome! What kinda duties will I have?
Wait for it...
Y’all gonna be responsible fer makin’ sure th’ office runners are doing their jobs!
Yeah! I’m a boss now! I get to tell people what to do!
Pow!
Yup! Yew are now Boyboy, T.U.R.D.
Too cool! Wait a second...

 

by KainThornn
9-09-18
When ah was yore age, we used ta store all th' information on paper, in these here drawers!
Wow! That must have been painstaking!
Heck yeah! If somethin' got misplaced down here, ah'd hafta spend hours diggin through mah drawers.
You don't pay me enough to dig in your filthy drawers!
When am ah gonna learn?
Pow!

 

by KainThornn
10-06-18
Meeting time boys!
Board meeting! Or should I say "bored meeting"?
Ah know these here meetin's can get ta be real sleepy, but we gotta do what we gotta do!
I have a Monster drink here...
What goes on in these meetings?
The upper management gits tagether n discusses what kinda money we earnt and spent...
*zzz* huh what?
*zzzz*
..and after we all vote, we go ta lunch at Hooters..!

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