All comics by KazKaden_the_Sheep

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I think we're getting high off the lack of oxygen in your basement
Ha ha ha oxygen
Maybe we should open the door and let some air in
I think I'm hallucinating
Ha, you're so badly drawn!
Badly drawn? Where's my beating stick....

 

I am a clown. Behold my lack of dignity and inability to amuse
Clowns are scary.
Why do people all hate clowns?
Because you're as useless and retarded as performance artists
Oh that hurts
Now to go find that mime...

 

*ding dong*
Yes?
I accidently ran over your cat
Oh my god not mister fluffles!
Here's what I managed to scrape out of my grill

 

I'm to afraid to travel by plane now. It's safer down here.
Kill.. Kill..
Cuz you know now EVERY plane ride ends in death and destruction
Damn strait
And why are we bombing afganistan? Because apparently arabs are evil and bent on killing us all. Because they envy our freedom *sic*
The US has been after arab oil for years. This "war on terrorism" is just a flimsy pretext for invasion. The US has commited so many attrocities all over the world that their hipocrasy makes me sick.

 

I'm so piss drunk. Everyone watch as I light my farts!
Haw Haw Haw!
Woah! That was crazy.

 

Why do I hate Micheal?
Because hes an asshole. He sided with his dad who was a wife beater when his parents divorced, he laughs at people when they're getting their teeth broken.
I just want to stab and stab and stab and tear out his eyes with small hooks and gut him with a rust salt covered knife. I want to take a bone saw to his groin so that his vile seed never spreads.
And yet Mel likes him? Why? No one should ever love him. He should die alone and miserable

 

Hey kids! Do you remember captain kangaroo?
yeah! yeah!
Well I murdered his ass
Oh
Now I'm going to rape pokaroo!
yeah! yeah!

 

One day we we're watching tv in faye's basement when all of a sudden...
11 hour *M*A*S*H* marathon this saturday on global
11 HOURS OF *M*A*S*H*???? NOOOOOOO!!!!

 

Sup sup im Holy Boy, the only eskimo ww2 veteran!
Oh shit here comes another one! Gotta use my magic eskimo mind powers!
Now I can go marry a mustached quebec woman! Wait.. a shit.. I just got hosed didn't I?

 

I bet you're curious as to what it is aren't you? You sick bastard
Let's do it donkey style!
Naw last time I got an ear infection
When catholics have wet dreams..
Don't you just want to ride his sexy bald head? Oh shit here comes the cops again..
This pollution sucks
Hey at least you don't have to shit out of your mouth

 

One boring day in hell..
Hmm.. What to do today...
I know! *Pops a mentos in mouth*
.|' Nothing gets to you staying fresh staying cool, with Mentos fresh and full of life .|'
MENTOS! The freshmaker!
Can you say 9/11?

 

Ohh you sexy fish, I will show you why they call me scuba steve
Oh shit, its that guy who raped the tuna last week
Work that fishy ass, I pre-filled my wetsuit with warm mushroom soup
Ahhhhhhhh!
Why don't you ever call?
Damn it got away, at least its better than the time I thought I screwed a whale and it turned out to be Rosa..

 

Arrr mateys, I be in search of booty!
Arrr , too much booty!
What?
PERFECT!
Damn crazies...

 

Hello there little girl, do you want to sit on Santas lap?
no
I'll give you presents
no
You can suck on Santa's special candy cane...
MOM!

 

Hi, where here to explain to you what a ped day is
You probly think it stands for pedgogical right?
Well your wrong
See these holidays are made for pedophiles with night jobs, who can't see small childen during the day because they're in school
So they get let out of school for all their ogling pleasure!
Oh shit here comes Santa!

 

Let's see.. one more year till im out of high school, Then im FREE!
Wait.. no... then cegep... then university... then work...
*Sigh*

 

You're never too lod to trick or treat!
Ahhhhh a burglar!
Trick or ....
Aww nuts..
You have the right to remain silent..

 

I'm sick. Look at this weird thing at the back of my throat. It was green and white yesterday
*Peers inside*
INSIDE FAYES MOUTH
eww
Why aren't you sick too!
I never get sick...

 

My throat hurts, I hope i'm not getting what faye had. Oh well time to do my homework.
NEXT MORNING
I feel so shitty. Fuck, I overslept by 3 hours. Screw it.
A few hours later
EWWWWWW THROAT FUNKINESS
*looks in mirror*

 

I'm giving birth
COUNTERSPELL!
*PUNCHES WOMAN IN STOMACH*

 

You're under arrest!
Ta hell wit you
He's getting away! only one thing to do... *FLING*
What?
Ahhh!

 

YaY Smirnoff Ice!
Boo hoo i lose at magic again
YaY mountain dew
My testes are shrinking!
Oww
Grr I hit you with bag of crackers

 

step 1: find the entrance
*zip*
Tonite for your entertainment gabe will now fist himself
Step 2: don't forget the lube
Ugh
w00t
step 3: always wash up after
Ahhhhh
Thanks for coming!

 

Say chicken my rooster in fench to that old woman
ok
Poulet mon cock
ok
So what happened?
I'm a man now

 

Well they never found bin laden and it seems everyone has forgotten him. How many people could recognise him anyway?
He could walk right by you on the street and you probably wouldn't notice
But Bush is a greater threat to America anyways. Democracy doesn't work if the country is full of uneducated idiots who don't research their vote
DOWN WITH AMERICA!

 

One night whilst watching tv in the mango command center..
Yay saucer bicycles!
Yay vodka!
In the middle of the show a squirrel runs by in the background then jumps out of the screen and runs across the room
Weeeeeee
Blah blah blah bicycles
True story
Weeeeeee
Did you just see that?

 

The Wise Guys Kick so
*Joy*
much ass
w00t
check out their site @ www.wiseguys.de
Crazy german accapella music
Crazy german accapella music

 

Hey everyone im andrew, and for todays mindless stupidity I will drop of this ledge on my bike
But i'm not gonna pull up or do anything whatsoever to make this drop, I'm just gonna roll off the edge, cuz I'm andrew and I do crazy things.
Owww my legs

 

There all fixed up. Now don't go doing this type of thing again
I wont
Hmm.. I wonder if i can nose grind the third rail in the subway....
You again?
Ahhhh

 

This actually happened, word for word
Peanuts! Get your Peanuts!
My husband works at the expos stadium
What? What horse?
You are peanut. Go home and check to see if your horse is sick.
I don't have a horse, you're insane
Go home and check again to see if your horse Peanut is ok

 

*Ponders*
If you knew what i was thinking you wouldn't be sitting there
KILL THE ANGLOS KILL THE ANGLOS
w00t w00t w00t w00t w00t
Ahhhhh!
Quit you speaking all the time

 

What are you going to do when you are my age?
Jump of a bridge?
OUT OF MY CLASS!
Stupid Lissade....

 

I drive all the way to ikea to buy 50 cent hotdogs
Ikea is run by a former Nazi
Really? But theyre 50 cents...
*what a jew...*
How are you saving money by driving all the way to ikea for cheap hotdogs
I bring my own water so its cheaper

 

Klaxor arrives on earth and is assaulted by neuro dampeners
What is this oral stimulant?
Whoah my bong is talking
Vile creature you shall learn the wrath of Klaxor the Mighty
Ahhhh!
Thats what you get for not passing it back
I cant feel my legs!

 

Back after these messages
If lifes too tough just puff puff puff, just ask granny
Wha?
No wonder we went extinct

 

So I was at the party last night when..
Oh shit someones coming
Moo
Mmmm that cow's lookin' sexy
It always creeps me out when he looks at me like that
At first I thought the drooling meant he was going to eat me, but hes been milking me like 10 times a day....

 

Bin Laden?
Wtf? What did I do? Oh right, those buildings....
Satan?
C'mon George back inside
Mwahaha! Time to plot evil
NO! It's that fucking annoying paper clip in microsoft word! Why won't it die?
HaHaHa! I serve ONLY TO ANNOY! You missplet something! *beep* *beep*!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

 

Prepare the clone, we must destroy the foolish humans swiftly, Futurama comes on in twenty minutes
Preparing deployment
I AM G.W., I WILL CONQUER THE EARTH
Wow, that is such a coincidence! Thats my name, and thats what I'm doing. Oh wait, don't tell anyone that, it's a secret
Did we come here before?
I am confused

 

Wheres my comic?
I don't know your character well enough
Wheres my comic?
I told you its not ready
Wheres my comic?
HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?

 

Hmmmm....
You look like you are considering fucking that chicken. As a member of P.E.T.A. I must ask you to stop this.
Who the hell are you?
Just say no to chicken sex
Damn!

 

Why can't I come up with good comic ideas anymore? I must consult the guru
yes?
Not you, him
oh ok
Ha Ha Ha In-U-end-o
Why can't I come up with good comic ideas anymore? I must consult the guru
The answer is: More dirty innuendos

 

next
next
Eww
Shwing

 

My new swiss army knife has SCISSORS
*clip clip clip*
Eww stop clipping your nails, they're flying everywhere
*nail flies into eye*
*clip clip twang*
Owww! It hit me in the eye
*nail flies into mouth*
*clip clip clip* hehe*munph*
Ha, serves you right

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