All comics by MisterQueue

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by MisterQueue
3-05-02
What it is like inside my head today.
I feel lost, like no one will ever really know me for me. I think maybe I should just give up on myself and the rest of humanity in general.
Ha! See that's your problem, you bring it on yourself by playing the poor me card. If you spent less time bitching and more time acting maybe people would actually like you.
Well thank you for adding to my awful state of mind. Let me thank you for the extra added guilt of knowing that my lack of everything is my own fault. I shall have to keep that in mind from now on.
Listen to yourself? No wonder even you don't want to hang with you! You're like a warped record that keeps skipping the groove regardless of how it is guided by the hand of another!
I hate you so much.
Same to you and more pal.

 

by MisterQueue
3-06-02

 

by MisterQueue
3-06-02
I meet me pt 3!
Sooooo...
mmmmyep
...
...
Wanna wank?
You have to ask?

 

by MisterQueue
3-07-02
...
Is that bacon?!

 

by MisterQueue
3-07-02
Bacoooon!
I love you bacon!
For the last time, my name is Elroy.
Bacoooon!
I am going to eat your legs now.

 

by MisterQueue
3-07-02
Wazzup, we're comin' at ya live and in affect!
Yo yo, I'm made of pudding!
That's not very hardcore.
Hell zyeah it is..I sleep with my mom..word!
That's it...you ruined the show..c'mere
Whoop...gotta go..peace out my fuzzy bunnies!

 

by MisterQueue
3-07-02
Let's try this again..we need our own schtick to have a show.
Let's fight crime!
How can we fight crime when your arms aren't even mobile?
Ummm....
No..we better think of something else.
Wait...Mobile Man and LawnDart Boy! It could work!

 

by MisterQueue
3-07-02
Mobile Man and LawnDart Boy? What the hell...?
Think about it..you could throw me at the enemy..the plan is rock solid!
...
You know I'm right..we'd have an arch-villian..it'd be cooool...what do you think?
I think it's time for some "repairs"
On what? The furnace? I'll get right on it.

 

by MisterQueue
3-09-02
Things have been pretty heavy the last few strips.
So we're here for the comic relief!
...
Pee!
Dammit, no more pee jokes! now you die!
Peepeepeepeepeepe...

 

by MisterQueue
3-09-02
I'm comfortable with myself.
I like me.
Now all I have to do is believe it.

 

by MisterQueue
3-09-02
So I told her "Hey, who needs ya?"
hehe, yeah, you tell 'er Eddie!
Then she gets all up in my face about somethin' or other
Hehe, you showed her!
I'm never going to Subway again.
There's a Schlotzsky's down the street, let's eat there instead!

 

by MisterQueue
3-09-02
Are you an asassin?
I'm a soldier.
You're neither, you're an errand boy sent by grocery clerks to collect a bill.
Why do I always have to be Marlon Brando?
Cause you're a big, sweaty fatass, sound good?

 

by MisterQueue
3-09-02
Let's go over it. Where are you?
I stand outside and guard the door. I don't let anybody come in or go out.
Mr. Brown?
Mr. Brown stays in the car. He's parked across the street till I give him the signal, then he pulls up in front of the store.
That girl's ass?
Right here on my lap.

 

by MisterQueue
3-09-02
Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.
PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that? look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?
The Norwegian Blue prefers kippin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.
Umm..did you even bring the stuffed parrot?
Shit, I thought you said we were going to stuff carrots!

 

by MisterQueue
3-09-02
JuuUUUuuuUUulia...
we know what you did.
Don't think we can't find you.
Poor sad Julia.
All...
Alone.

 

by MisterQueue
3-09-02
I don't think Julia took us seriously.
Why else do you think I'm smirking?
You are happy she doesn't believe us?
No, it means we can do much worse things to her.
Are there worse things?
So...much...worse.

 

by MisterQueue
3-09-02
So this is the moon huh?
So tired...traveled so far.
Neat..I can't wait to see the..um...
Must rest...
I thought there'd be at least a frogurt stand.
First, I strangle you though.

 

by MisterQueue
3-10-02
The Author Speaks!
Hi, I'm Queue, well, actually I'm not Queue, I'm just a digital representation of Queue..
Come to think of it, Queue looks nothing like me.
I'm a pretty bad digital representation actually...
Cut..start over..

 

by MisterQueue
3-10-02
Let's try that again.
Hi I'm Queue, I like humor, finding strange things lying on the ground, and drinking on weekends.
Let me rephrase that, drinking a lot on weekends apparently.
So much so, that if any of you sees a pair of pants lying out there somewhere in the world that look like mine, let me know.

 

by MisterQueue
3-10-02
More of the Author
Heh, I just kid..I didn't lose my pants.
But you believed me didn't you? It's okay..don't feel bad.
Umm..why are your shoes in the parking lot?
Not now Jeebus!

 

by MisterQueue
3-10-02
Hey Roi, do you know were our mellon baller is?
Last time I saw it was when I used it to scoop out that guy's eyeballs, but check the drawer by the sink,

 

by MisterQueue
3-10-02
Lemme get this straight, the guy was walking down the street and suddenly his chest just burst open and he carved Loser into his own head?
...yes.
Well, sounds plausible to me, you're free to go.
Good, I've got cutlery to clean.

 

by MisterQueue
3-10-02
Coffee, soothes the soul..fills the void within
Another cup, another spout, another night, another drought, from my wonderful mug.
Just don't put any fucking cream in it this time, I come in here everyday fer fucks sake! You should know how I like my coffee!

 

by MisterQueue
5-01-02
Why the hell did I become a clown?
I should've listened to my father and become a banker, I HATE kids fercryinout...
Could you make me a balloon animal?
No, but do you want to see what's in my pocket?
It better not be a dead worm again.

 

by MisterQueue
5-08-02
The Queue
Hmm..I think I'm gonna drink a whole jug of antifreeze...
That's it..there's no joke there.

 

by MisterQueue
5-18-02
We Interrupt the Wing Envy Banter for a Bit
I'm not drinking this weekend, but man do I want to. So...very...bored...
I suppose I could do some reading for once, or find actual people, but that would be silly.
And I don't think I could wank anymore...
Not if you don't want blood in your semen.

 

by MisterQueue
5-19-02
Queue, Queue, Come Quick!
What? What is it?
That's not what I meant.
Now I remember why I bought that incinerator, follow me.

 

by MisterQueue
5-19-02
We need to get back to our regular antics since Queue will soon tire of us.
What do you want me to do?
I think we all know the audience likes the pee jokes.
Right, welcome to your solo debut!

 

by MisterQueue
5-19-02
Building a Shed!
Dear dog, this is an awful setup, I refuse to do this.
Are you going to start the shed?
Must...fire...agent...
HelllooOOoOoo, your lines? Say them!
There's more than one way to choke a camel.
Right, I didn't sign up for German Expressionist Theatre, I'm outta here.

 

by MisterQueue
5-19-02
These Backslashes It\'s putting before apostrophes is really messing up my mojo.
HA! Like you had mojo before.
Yeah, do you even know what that word means.
Isn't it some kind of monkey?
Lame!
Yes...very lame.

 

by MisterQueue
5-21-02
You know how sometimes something seems like a really good idea.
Then, later you're doubly questioning yourself about it..
It's been one of those days.
You lost your pants again didn't you?

 

by MisterQueue
5-21-02
Sometimes I look at things through rose colored glasses, and other times those glasses are pitch black.
Ugh...it's no fun being morose half the time...
Hi, I've been sent by the majority of the population to kill you and end their misery.
Right..make it quick.
Nope..just kidding..wanted to let you know we found your pants.. but umm.. why they were on a donkey we have no idea.

 

by MisterQueue
5-21-02
We need a gimmick to keep people interested.
OOooh..free vibrators for all our readers!
What about the guys though?
Some of them can use them..and the rest can use them on their women.
Anyone who reads our comic certainly doesn't have a woman.
Anyone who reads our comic is delusional enough not to notice.

 

by MisterQueue
5-21-02
You know Jebus.. life is really weird sometimes.
I wouldn't know, being merely a sentient metal servant to your whims.
Don't you try to out-pityparty me you oversized toaster!
We're having a party?

 

by MisterQueue
5-21-02
Jebus, what I'm trying to get you to understand, is that no matter how you plan things, you can't expect them to come out that way.
Does that mean that my birthday party may not come?
You may not be around to see it..so in a way yes.
As long as people are still having a good time in my honor!

 

by MisterQueue
5-23-02
My meeting with rickward.
Hey rick
Hey Q
Wow..you look like me.
Well, in actuality the digital representations we both chose were the same, that's the only reason.
Um..you\'re ruining it for the folks at home.
Oh..right.. self-deprication...yeah..don't say I look like you, that hurts me! Was that better?

 

by MisterQueue
5-23-02
So, finally we meet...
Yeeeeess...
....
...
Wanna snort coke off a credit card?
I thought you'd never ask.

 

by MisterQueue
5-23-02
After many lines on many credit cards.
I'm so paranoid.
I'm so wasted!
I think I'm going to ruin my life, lose my job, and live a life of vagrancy.
I loOoOoOOOve to party!
*Insert movie stereotype*
*Insert other movie stereotype*

 

by MisterQueue
6-01-02
Okay she wasn't that young but she had pigtails.
*inane giggling*
For someone who came unprepared you were amazing!
*giggle* thanks! *giggle*
Your stuff was brilliant! I really liked it.
*inane giggling*
Ssooo...now's your cue to sex me up.

 

by MisterQueue
6-05-02
IRC
I have to pee, open wide someone.
*Ugh*... *Silence*
I was kidding.
....
Sigh..I'm so misunderstood.
You are not! We heard you, it just wasn't funny!

 

by MisterQueue
6-16-02
Gah, what a crappy day already. I absolutely abhor my life.
Sigh...guess I'll hit the computer early.
IM from rickward: WOoo..I'm droinkl...ana..PARTAY ATR CIK'S HOUSE!!
You know, I was enjoying that bad mood you bastard.

 

by MisterQueue
7-01-02
Hooow dry I am.. *HiC*
Nooooobody knooows
How dry I.. wait a minute..where the hell am I?

 

by MisterQueue
7-01-02
Well, at least this will be a nice place to sleep off the inevitable hangover
Mmmm..defiling gravesites is yummy
Plus I get to use the pun "dirtnap"
More than you might think actually.

 

by MisterQueue
8-03-02
Surely it's just my outlook on life that's affecting why things are always failing around me.
Gee, you think? Morose boy, I would've never guessed.
You know, you're not very helpful, I'm crying out for some semblance of closeness and all you give is a snide comment.
It's my security blanket, I just do it to mask my true feelings.
Really? Does that mean you actually love me?
No, I'm masking the feeling that I think you're a whiny arrogant fuck.

 

by MisterQueue
8-03-02
So that's it is it? You think I'm a whiny arrogant fuck.
No, that's not it.
I think you're self-centered, boorish, over-indulgent, cold, and snide
There feel better now?.. Ass
You're fat too.

 

by MisterQueue
8-06-02
Ssooo yeah.. antifreeze and whatnot....
You always make that suicidal joke but you never mean it.
Actually I do mean it, but I'm releasing the self-hatred using humor as a tool, hence allowing me to live another day.
That so?
Yes.
Right, well you keep your mouth shut for the rest of the eve and I'll run up to the gas station really quickly.

 

by MisterQueue
8-06-02
Why do you only make these comics when upset or nervous?
I guess inspiration comes from stress, either that or I use it to release the pressure, so when it's not needed I don't touch it much
Okay, it was a simple question, no need to give me the fine print there chatty charlie.
Well then why the hell did you ask?
I just want more reasons to laugh at you openly.
I really do hate you.

 

by MisterQueue
8-07-02
The question is, is it better to know and be miserable in the knowledge or wonder and be miserable in the pessimistic possibilities?
Do you leave issues unresolved, because resolving means a possible bad ending, or do you resolve them for fear of what may have occured.
Well?
Sorry... I was running late, but I can still say this and be on topic: You're an idiot.

 

by MisterQueue
4-20-03
Hrm.. this terror alert system in the US has me thinking.
Uh-oh
What is Moutnain Dew: Code Red offered a dollar off any time the US went to "Code Red" on their Terror Alert?
Actually... that's a clever marketing idea! I'm impressed for once.
Ah well... they'd probably just over-commercialize it like every other idea I've ever had.
That and it would drive me to fly planes into buildings non-stop. Man I love that soda.

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