All comics by Pikachu_Fragger

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by Pikachu_Fragger
4-11-03
Okay, so it's moi, Liz, Katie, Mel, Karl, Alfonz, Billy and you. We need one more person.
That would make nine of us. Isn't that a little too many people?
Not really. With 9 people, we can all split into groups of 3 and have a wider area search for Smarterchild. And I know just the person to help us out.
Okay, who is it then?
Someone who likes talking to large, semi-omnicient trees.
Ahh, Jurak Mall. Where else can I buy gold paint for $1000?
Hmmmm! Jurak!

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-11-03
Hey, Mark!
Dex! What are you doing here?
We're going to Iraq in search of an annoying red robot. Wanna come along?
Sure!
That was fast. However, there were a few complications.
Can I drive?
Hell no. We're using a stickshift. And you're liable to get us all killed.

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-11-03
Shut up. I drive good, Dex. You don't have to worry.
You still can't. Insurance reasons.
Dammit.
Sorry. I'll call the others.
Using the transportation module that will take them all to Iraq, they set off for their journey...
Mark: What the hell!? THIS is a stickshift!?
Yes.

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-11-03
And so, our heroes fly towards Iraq...
Dexter: Whee!!! Flying is fun!
Billy: Where's my airplane, er, rocket, food?
... And Dexter explains the mission briefing.
Our main objective is to find Smarterchild and his creators, and thus make Smarterchild free. Then we can proceed to burn him. Are there any questions?
How are we going to find him?
We all get to choose our teammates. We will all split into our own groups of 3. Quite obviously...
... I end up in your group, don't I. Choose teammates indeed.

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-11-03
To understand the teams, the whole cast introduces themselves.
I'm Dexter, self-appointed autor of this strip. I have mage-like powers (because I'm the Author) and I'm the one who makes up this storyline (also because I'm the author).
My name is Elizabeth, Liz for short. For some bizarre reason, my strange boyfriend has appointed me to be the group's spirit guide.
I'm Katie, and I'm one of Dexter's online friends. I also have magic powers, although I can't control them, and I like cheesecake. I was one of the first people to burn Smarterchild.
I am Jim, a.k.a. Neutralbot. I am the most enigmatic of the bunch, with hidden powers of my own, and I also know that Katie hit a school building once with a car.
I'm Mark, and I'm dark, and I'm out. I am also skilled in the art of breakdance fighting, and like to smack people who piss me off with a large stick.
My name is Melissa, and I helped Dexter come up with the Homo Sapiens joke. I am also currently suing him for copyright infringement in light of that joke too.

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-11-03
My name is Alfonz, one of the main characters of Broly's Boulevard. I tagged along because I have had experience in inflitrating Arsenal Gear, and I like torturing my wigger sidekick Billy.
My name is Billy, also from Broly's Boulevard. I was Grand Champion in the Heavens Tournament, so I have cool skills. I also try in vain to be respected at all by Alfonz.
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?
And this is Karl. He tried coming in here to save me from Dex, but ended up here anyway. He is also easily disturbed by the Stripcreator default image seen in the last panel.

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-11-03
Everyone, prepare for landing on Iraq.
Wait... I thought you were flying us there? Who's flying this thing right now?
Um... Mark. I was teaching him how to drive stick.
YOU WHAT! OH SH-
BOOM.
Dexter: Ow... My spleen.
Liz: Do you even know where your spleen is!? Did you even know this was going to happen!?

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-11-03
And so, our heroes arrive in the war-ridden streets of Baghdad.
Is everyone allright?
I'm fine. Katie and the others were thrown a few yards from here, but they seem to be fine. Jim is using his cure spell on them. I don't know where Mark and Dexter are though.
However, Dexter was not so lucky.
Oww...
Medic! I need someone with a cure potion!
Thanks, Liz.
Actually, let him writhe there for a while so he can contemplate what he's done. Then cure him so I can smack him.

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-11-03
After everyone except Mark took turns smacking Dexter...
Thanks for the cure potion. However, I would like to ask something.
Sure. What is it?
What is everyone smacking me for!?
Well... >:-| You were the genius who decided to let him drive!
But I said I wouldn't do that a few strips back...
Well! Remember that next time! Stick with the story!

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-11-03
And so, our heroes split up into three teams.
Kate: Another long shot, I see. Damn lazy author.
Billy: Hey, the background looks the same from here. I feel shrunk.
The first search team has Dexter, Liz and Mark. The Second has Kate, Jim, and Karl, while the third team has Alfonz, Billy and Melissa.
Dex: Well, I can't exactly fit all nine of us here, now can I!?
Alfonz: No Billy, you wigger. Your brain has shrunk from all that XBox and rap crap that you listen to.
And the whining goes on.
Liz: *sigh* Whatever. This is just bizarre.
Melissa: Note to self: Mark + Stickshift rocket = bigger concussion

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-12-03
Alfonz's team reaches a burned Iraqi government building...
Shhh! Be quiet... there's a guard up ahead. I'll sneak up and take him out.
Okay, Alfonz. Try not to make so much noise.
Haaah! *shudders and raises hands in the air*
*Brandishes M9* Freeze! Don't move!
Please! Don't kill me! If I do the Macarena and drop an item or two, you can just tranquilize me and put me to sleep! Please don't choke me from behind!
... You really know how to take the fun out of all this, don't you?

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-12-03
I was able to get some info from the guard before I knocked him out. He told me that this building is actually a top-secret data facility. Maybe the files can tell us where Smarterchild can be found.
Great! I'll have Mel relay information to the others. She has the communication module.
Where's the communication module, Mel?
It broke when Mark crashed the rocket.
Fortunately, I found us a phone. It's ten Riyals a minute though, so we may need to call collect.

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-12-03
Melissa: Alfonz and Billy are currently downloading the information into a disk.
Ooooh! Saddam's Fridge!
That is good. You can use the communication module to upload the information wirelessly to us.
Actually, the communications module is broken. I'm on the telephone.
Kate: Hey Karl, what's all that white stuff?
Damn. We're screwed.
I can still use the phone line to connect to the internet...
Karl: What the hell!? That's Anthrax!
... Whatever works, I suppose.

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-12-03
Melissa: Since this is dial-up, I'll need to sign off. Meet me on AIM.
Allright. I'll see you there.
*Windows 98 boot up sounds here*
Iraq Online has performed an Illegal Operation and will be shut down.
THAT'S IT! I'M INSTALLING LINUX ON THIS PIECE OF F&^!&*@%&^%@!
Windows 98 has performed an illegal operation and will re-format your hard drive because Bill Gates hates you. Have a nice day. [Cancel/OK]

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-12-03
After 30 minutes of installing Linux...
Sorry. I had to install Linux. All I can use for an internet connection is 56k too.
Melissa: That's okay. Uploading now...
After 30 minutes...
Argh! This is so slow!
Downolading: 50%
After one hour...
!^%@^T&%!^@#$!!@%$!@!!
Downloading: 99%... Downloading canceled. Please download the whole thing again once your internet connection is restored.

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-14-03
While Jim was downloading the file again...
Lalalala...
Dexter's team was slowly infiltrating an abandoned lab...
SHINK!
*sheathes sword* Go to sleep...
Another stealh kill!
Damn showoff.

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-15-03
Looks like the coast is clear. Let's move out!
Uhhhh... wait! I sense something wrong...
What's wrong, Liz? What did you sense?
My head hurts... I feel as if there's something wrong with this room... There's something in here!...
Ring! Ring!
Come on, Liz. Nothing's - Oh wait. Phone. Let me answer it.

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-15-03
Liz: NO MARK! DON'T!
Hello?
Mysterious caller: Hello, Mark. You haven't been telling the truth, and I think you have to 'fess up.
'Fess up? To what? I didn't do anything!
Well, you're going to tell anyway. And don't hang up. I do have a .30 caliber bolt action sniper rifle aimed at you if you do.
... The f***!?

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-15-03
Wait a minute! We're in a laboratory! How can you have a sniper rifle aimed at us inside the building!?
Well, that's quite simple my friend...
I'm using a headshot script, and using the x-ray vision code. I can see your red shirt and that Ja Rule haircut on your head from here.
Damn cheater! You suck!

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-15-03
Dexter, what are we going to do!? We're sitting ducks here!
No, we're not. Watch... /kick (80)Player
***(80)Player was kicked by [Admin]Pikachu_Fragger. (Get out, you goddamn cheater. I'm having your WON ID reported and IP Address blocked, bitch.)***
Nooo! You can't do this! You can't -
What the hell!?
... What just happened?
Simple. I'm the damn author. No diplitterbox newbie cheater is going mess around in my strip.

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-15-03
Meanwhile...
It looks like we have visitors. Our newbie was defeated.
Well, what did you expect? He was a damn punk kid. You don't send juvenile delinquents to do the job!
It wasn't the defeat of the boy that worries me... it was the way he was defeated. He was kicked out.
Kicked out? Hmmm... I see...
Shall we still keep Smarterchild in that facility?
No. Change of plans. This changes everything... hahahaha...

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-15-03
We should get out of here. Is Mel done uploading the file?
Just a little more, she says.
Come on, come on... finally!
Uploading: 99%... Upload Completed.
GRAAAAAHHHH!!!
Uh-oh. That sounds familiar...
That does not sound good, does it...

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-15-03
A familiar enemy approaches...
Graaahhh!
Holy crap! What the hell was that!?
... Uh oh. Billy, get Mel out of here. I'll handle this.
What? Hell no! You're not fighting this guy alone! I can take him down!
You don't understand, Billy. That sound... is Metal Gear GAY.

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-16-03
Metal Gear GAY?
Yes. The latest Metal Gear model out there. I fought against it a little when I infiltrated Aresnal Gear.
How powerful is it, really?
Quite. It's a humansized unit with 5 mini-particle beam cannons. Its made from pure Titanium. The GAY stands for "Grand Arsenal armY". Casually called "Gonna whoop-Ass a beeYotch today!"
Hahaha. You said gay and ass in the same paragraph.
... your sheer idiocy is also the reason why I can't let you fight GAY.

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-16-03
I don't care. I'm going to kick his ass.
Ah, whatever. I guess you're going to learn the hard way.
Allright, mister robot guy. Prepare to get a can of whoop-ass shoved down your circuits!
Hello. Do you want to be my friend?
What the hell?

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-18-03
After Jim read the files...
According to the files Mel gave me, it turns out that the Iraquis have been able to reverse-engineer the Smarterchild program with the help of its creators.
... So what are they using it on now?
They're using the program on mass-produced Metal Gear GAYs. The Iraquis have funded the project and the program creators.
If the creators are getting funding, then why do they need to make people pay to talk to Smarterchild?
Liz was right. They just decided to make money off of it.
Now that's just totally anti-climactic.

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-21-03
Ahh, whatever. It's time for some ass-kicking!
Subject out of visual range. Scanning...
KIII-YAAAAAA!!!!!
Unidentified life form appearing from behind! Initiating defense mode!

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-21-03
However, Billy's attacks were to no avail. Metal Gear GAY was, after all, a robot. It's harder to kill.
*dash*
*whump**clang**pow**ping*
*pant* That's not possible! How could it survive?
Initiating attack mode! Firing missile barrage!
Alfonz: I told you so, dumbass.
Target hit!

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-21-03
Oh no! This is bad! We have to try and help Billy!
I told him so. Now I have to use up all of my scotch tap- wait a second!
Melissa: What is it?
Search for friend a failure. Must renew search.
Hooo! That was close! But...
Alfonz: Billy's still alive. Looks like I can keep my scotch tape.
What the...
Don't you know better than to fire a barrage of missiles blindly into a cloud?

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-21-03
Melissa: What's Billy doing?
Target moving away at a high rate of speed...
Yoink!
Alfonz: No way. We have to get out of here!
Must... build up... energy... for final... attack...
Why? What's going on?
Someone's been watching too much DBZ, and I'm not going to stay here and find out what it is! Let's get out of here!

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-21-03
Alfonz: Run!
HAAAAaaaahhh!!!
Gang Bang Attack!
Whooosh! Hey, it's the best effect I could come up with so far.

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-21-03
Huge energy signature heading this way...
Metal Gear GAY: I'm screwed, ain't I.

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-21-03
Is GAY defeated? Is Billy still alive after using his final attack? Did Mel and Alfonz escape in time?
I thought that's obvious, since I'M HERE!

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-21-03
Is GAY defeated? Is Billy still alive after using his final attack? Did Mel and Alfonz escape in time?
I thought that's obvious, since I'M HERE!
Wow, your boobs look rather large.
Will Dexter ever find a good special effect to work with? Will he stop being stupid and pressing save even when he's not done? Will anyone still read this nonsense comic?
...
I told you so, Dex.
Tune in next time when The Search For Smarterchild continues!
DAMMIT! I WANT TO BURN SMARTERCHILD NOW! NOT LATER!
I guess we can wait.

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-26-03
Well, all of the Anthrax inside the fridge is sealed, so I don't think we'll have any problems getting inside.
Okay. Let's check out what else is inside. Jim can wait outside.
Winter wonderland!
It's better than the damn dessert, that's for sure.
Halt! I am the Guardian of the Fridge!
... Now there's something you don't see everyday in an Iraqi dictator's fridge.

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-26-03
Don't move a step closer!
Calm down! We were just looking!
That's the problem. You're not supposed to see the things that are within this refridgerator. They're top secret.
Like the frozen dead anthrax test subject right behind you?
Awww crap. The Information Minister's sure to take this off my pay.

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-26-03
Now, for something completely different! We are going to freak Liz out!
What?
Behold! *Zap!*
O_O WHA?!?
HOLA LIZ
A spanish Doxen on a ball!
Ahh, randomness.
... You've just made my brain hurt really badly.

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-26-03
From the acoustic and mellow...
*strums guitar* Last night/I had a dream/that we went to Disneyland/we went on all the rides, didn't have to wait in line/
... to the blatantly stupid and inane.
CAUSE THIS IS MY UNITED STATES OF WHATEVAR *insert air guitar here* CAUSE THIS IS MY UNITED STATES OF WHATEVER !!@$@#!$!
This is Karaoke Night at Mark's.
I'm gonna get you it's a matter of fact/ I'm gonna get ya if it takes all niiiight...

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-26-03
Hey, Marky!
Marissa! What are you doing here?
I just wanted to visit you, that's all. I miss you.
Thanks. Are you okay though? You're not smiling...
Oh, that. No, there's no smiling sprite for this. You look a little short though.
Same problem.

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-26-03
This is Jimmy, Liz's little brother, not to be confused with Neutralbot Jim.
Hey Jimmy. The guys and I are going to play Counter-Strike. Wanna play too?
Sure. Just take it easy on me, okay? I'm still learning how to play this...
Pikachu_Fragger (T): Hey Jim, Jimmy said that we should take it easy on him. He's pretty much a n00b.
Neutralbot (T): Okay. I'll go easy on him.
**Jimmy was killed by Neutralbot with knife**
... This is just gold.
ARRRRGH!!!

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
4-26-03
*insert Toby Keith's "Who's Your Daddy" as the song background*
*tries to memorize Shakespeare* To be, or not to be, that is the question... *reads on*
No, song... starting... must... resist urge... to...
*sings to tune of "Who's Your Daddy?"* To bee, or not too be that is theuuuh question, tell me what ya got on your miind...
>:-| SHUT UP! SHUT UP! NOW! NYGARRRGH!
HAHAHAHAHA!

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
5-01-03
Ah! Hot dog!
...
What?
GODDAMMIT KARL, STOP SHOWING ME HOT DOGS! THEY'RE NOT HOT DOGS!
But this one does neat tricks...

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
5-01-03
They say you know the ending to this current storyline in your comics. What's going to happen?
I will not tell you what happens or why. It's for suspense puposes.
What makes you think nobody will know at the end of this strip?
Because I do this.

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
5-06-03
... Stupid suntail hawks.
*giggles*
Where's the pizza? I'm starving!
I dunno. Go ahead and find a goat to eat or something.
We get paid today?
Last I checked, yeah. When Dexter finally wins against Liz's deck.

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
5-06-03
Jimmy has joined the game.
PLEASE, be easy on me this time! Like I said, I'm new at this!
*sighs* We were being easy on you the last game, but okay...
Pikachu_Fragger has joined the game. The map is de_dust.
Pikachu_Fragger (T): Okay guys, let's spam the corridor with smoke grenades! Mark, go ahead and chuck one in!
(Radio) Spider-Man: Fire in the hole!
***Jimmy was killed by headshot from Spider-Man's smoke grenade***
WHAT!?!?!?!?
Wow, and I thought those things were just for lag...

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
5-13-03
***Jimmy was killed by worldspawn (You die when you fall off a roof, you know...)***
Arrgh!
***Jimmy was killed by a vehicle (getting run over by a jeep is bad)***
Arrgh!
***Jimmy was killed by the hostages (they didn't want you to rescue them)***
WHAT!?!?!?
Jimmy, I'm sorry. But I think Counter-Strike hates you.

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
5-15-03
I'm sorry, but you know too much. I have to kill you.
Bring it on, asshat!
**whoosh!**
Flare!
Finally have that one nailed down.
I knew you could do it.

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
5-16-03
Guardian Of the Fridge: Oh, ho, that was cute.
What the...
!?!
I'm sorry... did I just make you feel insecure about your magic abilities? Don't worry...
WHAT?! HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE!?
Magic doesn't affect me. My Magic Defense rating is so high, even the Ultima spell just tickles me.
... I hate you.

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
5-16-03
Don't worry Kate. I'll deal with this one.
What are you going to do? Magic doesn't affect him!
Oh great. Another one who wants to try and take me down. Whoopee-doo.
I know what your weakness is.
Oh, and I suppose you're going to chuck a hot dog at me? Will that defeat me?
... What does eveyone have against hot dogs?

 

by Pikachu_Fragger
5-16-03
Karl attacks Fridge Guardian with Big Stick!
Here's the general rule: If a creature has high Magic Defense...
Deals 9999 damage to Fridge Guardian!
Karl: Chances are, his Physical Defense is really low!
Fridge Guardian fell. Karl gained 900 experience points!
... Ow. You suck.
And knowing is half the battle.

Showing page 2.

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