All comics by SpideyChris

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by SpideyChris
1-08-05
Well, in addition to being a gay ostrich, you're also a pedophile. I believe this will call for drastic measures... Hypnotherapy.
I place my mind in your capable faux-British hands.
You are getting sleeeeeepy... Just like at a Dido cooooooncert...
Ring ring, bitches.
I have to get this. Don't get angry or something.
Have to... Get angry...

 

by SpideyChris
1-08-05
Daddums, Schmoopsie is wetting all over the floor again! She's the most annoying puppy ever!
Oh, balls. You called me at work over the dog? Listen, Brynn, you have to show her some tough love!
If that bitch doesn't do what she's told, SMACK HER UP! Give her a good thrashing about the ears! Beat her until she gives in like the mongrel she is!
Yes... YES! That's so perfect! That is! I can feel the trance wearing off... Thank you, Doctor!
Hrm, she left... Well. I'd say this calls for Drunk O'clock.

 

by SpideyChris
1-08-05
HEY YOU! BITCH! You sit and listen or I'll rip your fucking ears off!
Uh... Okay...
You're going to come back to my place and crawl over my naked body like a lemur on crank, or I'm going to kill your parents RIGHT FUCKING NOW.
Awww... Of course! I just wanted you to approach me with more confidence!
All's well that ends well.
*glorp glorp*
YES! SUCK MY DOWNY TITS, BITCH!

 

by SpideyChris
1-09-05
Thanks for coming. Are you sure you weren't followed?
Of course!
Wait a minute... how do I know you're not a fed!
How do I know you're not?
So, as you can see by my driver's license, I'm Shirley Notafed.
Hold on a... Of the Boston Notafeds? You might know my cousin Riley!

 

by SpideyChris
1-12-05
Whatcha doing?
Making a comic.
Is it hard?
Well, if I really really loved making these... I guess it would be.

 

by SpideyChris
1-14-05
Last night, I got a bunch of weed. I stayed up smoking some of it with my roommate as we watched DVDs of Chappelle's Show and Farscape.
It's 12:15 pm. I work at 4:00 'til midnight. I haven't slept yet. Plus, I smoked a bit more for the hell of it.
...this sounded more "ha ha" funny and less "pathetic" funny in my head.

 

by SpideyChris
2-01-05
Man, I really want to have sex with her tonight... But she's on her period... DAMN! Damn damn damn. What do do... What to do...
You know, you don't have to...
I want to! It's cool! Just... Gimme a minute here...
I think this is a little unnecessary.
Silence! Let's start the hunt for red crotch-tober.

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