All comics by Wadders

 

by Wadders
5-03-05
Hey your that guy from edoggydog's Groovy comics.
Groovy!
Dont you ever say anything else?
Well actually I have some very interesting views on subjects such as religion, politics, sport....
Dude say Groovy again!
Sigh. Its true fame does have its price!

 

by Wadders
5-03-05
Good day to you sir, what can I get you?
Dude, why are you using a puppet?
I dont know what you mean sir. Can I interest you in some seasoned curly fries?
I am not ordering from a puppet, get your lame ass out here and take my order!
Now now sir no need to get upset. Maybe I should do a happy dance for you, do you like dancing sir?
Now I remember why I stopped eating here.

 

by Wadders
5-04-05
Ok officer Jones, where is the body?
The body sir?
Yes the body of the victim.
Well erm your partner told me to get it outta here.
Where did you put it?
MOMMY!!!!

 

by Wadders
5-04-05
The tonka truck, the football, the sony mp3 player and the 42" plasma screen TV. Thats everything I didnt recieve under my tree this morning.
You sure thats everything? Did I forget to bring you a few pounds of grey matter as well?
Erm.....nope that seems to be everything on my list.
Well in that case let me say.......
If you ever call me again I will personally see to it that Rudolph chews your balls off and eats them with a nice bowl of spaghetti! Merry Christmas.

 

by Wadders
5-10-05
No.
Dude, its because of people like you that I have to stand here 14 hours a day holding this fucking sign!

 

by Wadders
5-13-05
So I said you can take your job and shove it up your ass.
But dude, you were being paid $40,000 a year for testing bed mattresses.
Shit. I really need to stop drinking.

 

by Wadders
5-13-05
Hey man, wow is that your dog playing chess?
It sure is.
He must be the smartest dog in the world.
Nah, not really......
Ive beaten him 3 games out of 5
Hmmmmm

 

by Wadders
5-13-05
Hey man. Wanna buy a fortune cookie letter?
Hmmmm. What are they?
They are fortune cookies....without the cookie.
Ok sure Ill take that one.
Stay away from weird looking guys in brown trenchcoats.....wow these things are really acurate!

 

by Wadders
6-03-05
That starter was delicious, what did you order for your main course?
The roast chicken dinner.
This is the last time, seriously I mean it. Im outta here.
It comes with vegetables, potatoes and four different types of gravy.......

 

by Wadders
6-03-05
So then he ordered chicken, I can’t figure out if he does it purpose or if he is just stupid.
Any hoo can I live here with you?
I eat rocks.
There must be one normal person around here somwhere!

 

by Wadders
6-04-05
Good day to you sir, I am collecting old and unwanted clothing for the homeless. Would you be willing to make a donation?
Hell no, I work 40 hours a week for my clothing, tell those lazy bums to get a job and stop mooching.
Ok let me rephrase....we can do this the hard way or......
"Gulp". Actually I think I have a nice Armani suit that doesn’t fit me anymore, Ill be right back.

 

by Wadders
6-04-05
God dammit kevin! You missed again.

 

by Wadders
6-11-05
That one there is saturn
And that one there is pluto.
Dont you dare say it.
And that one there is....URANUS hahahahaha.
Thats it I'm getting off this rock.

 

by Wadders
6-11-05
Trick or treat!
Wait right there I have a huge bowl of SPOOK-getti with your name on it.
Erm no thanks dude, I hear mrs Frankenstein is giving out bottles of Jack Daniels. Later........

 

by Wadders
6-11-05
What's the ratio of a pumpkin's circumference to its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi
Thats it I'm going to down to hooters, they always laugh at me there........

 

by Wadders
6-11-05
No way!
Oh go on.
Not a chance.
Just because you know you cant.
Look I know you can fit you in my mouth, but I am not spending 5 hours in casualty like last time!
Hey it wasn’t all fun and games for me buddy, that nurse would have given me her number if I hadn’t covered her in your saliva.

 

by Wadders
6-15-05
Howdy neighbor, I was wondering if you could spare a cup of sugar.
Why the hell would a dinosaur want sugar?
For my cup of coffee of course, I get really cranky if I don’t have one in the morning.
Beat it moocher.

 

by Wadders
6-21-05
Listen to me Taylor, if you don’t start working harder you will end up in a dead end job with no prospects.
Whatever teach, I don’t need qualifications I have my wit and good looks to get me through life.
Then I intend to invest the money into whale farming......
Dude I’ve been stood here for 40 minutes, can you please take my order now!

 

by Wadders
7-05-05
Hey how’s it going? Did you get the part?
I'm sad to say I didn't
Why not, I thought you were a shoe in.
Yeah so did I, but half way through my first scene I was accused of being a ham actor.
Wow so with no job how are you going to bring home the bacon?
I don’t know but all these pig related jokes are making me tired, I'm going for a lie down. Later.

 

by Wadders
7-05-05
Ok ok you got me.
Tag, your it! Chase me chase me!
This is so humiliating, these Spaniards are crazy.

 

by Wadders
4-13-06
Man 23 tequila slammers in a row how are you still standing?
"Burp"
I saw a guy drink 15 in a row before but I think his liver exploded on the way to hospital
I dont feel so good, hey why is the floor growing bigger?
Bartender - Hey you can't leave that lying there
He's not a lion he's a duck, he he he
I hate that joke, I really do "burp"

 

by Wadders
4-13-06
So halfway through the audition I forgot my lines, I had to "wing" it during in the last half
Man having to memorize all those lines would drive me "batty"
Usually I would agree but this is one of those scripts I can really get my teeth into if you know what I mean
I sure do. As long as you do memorize them, you dont want to get to filming and be left flapping
Well I gotta split Montel is on, "fangs" for the advice pal
No probs, "so-nar long (jesus that was bad even for me!)

 

by Wadders
4-13-06
Did you know that on average, consumers use 8.6 sheets of toilet paper per trip - a total of 57 sheets per day. That's an annual total of 20,805 sheets.
Thats not all the number of days a standard roll of toilet paper usually lasts in the most-used bathrooms in the house is five
Man I really need to put some magazines or a book in here.
Also the average roll weighs 227 grams, including the cardboard core tube.This is just over half of a pound...........

 

by Wadders
4-13-06
So can anyone tell me a pumpkin's favorite sport?
Squash
Awww come on I'm throwing you gold here!

 

by Wadders
4-14-06
I see that edoggydog is STILL making his groovy comics on here.
Yeah that guy really needs to get a life, he should try going outside or something
Wadders come on man you've been in your room for 8 months now come down here and eat some food or something
Can't talk making fun of internet losers with no life......oh cool a new myspace message!

 

by Wadders
10-14-06
Great news lord Jacobs, your wifes operation was a complete success. I will bring her out to you and then we can sort out your payment.
Ok doctor
On second thoughts why don't we sort out that payment first.

 

by Wadders
1-16-07
Ok I shouldn't have put you in that situation but you did force me in a way, I mean its not like you don't encourage it with the way you dress!
Your a real pig you know that?
Irony is a bitch aint it.......

 

by Wadders
6-02-12
Hey Wadders! Long time no see man!
Hey man, yeah its been a while.
So what have you been up to these last few years?
Well lets see. I ate a little, I slept a little .......oh yeah I finally completed my lifetime goal of owning every episode of guiding light!
Way to live the dream dude.
Yeah well now it's back to more important things. Now where is edoggydogs profile, I need to steal some of his jokes to get back into this thing!

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