All comics by edoggydog

 

by edoggydog
2-17-05
...so then I says to the guy, "That's not my finger..."
Groovy!
But, you know what really P.O.'d me about that whole situation?
No... What pissed you off?
Ah, dammit! You shouldn't have said "pissed"! With my built-in, word-recognition command software, I now automatically have to pee!
Good thing I didn't say "fucked" up!

 

by edoggydog
2-17-05
Dude... Yesterday, when I was checking the train tracks outside the city, I saw a woman, with the most beautiful body, laying across the rails! And, she was naked!!
Groovy!
So, I took her to the top of that mountain way over there, and made love to her all day and all night!
Did you get a little "head"?
Nahhh... I couldn't find that body part!
Gee... I'm disgusted, yet turned on!

 

by edoggydog
2-18-05
There I was at Augusta on the 18th tee, Cinderella story... And all I had to do was par out the hole, and I win the Masters! So, I lined up my shot and just let her rip!
Groovy!
A perfect drive! The ball landed only three feet from the flagstick!
So, you won?
No! I #@%$ four-putted, and lost by one stroke to that Woods faggot!
Hold that Tiger...

 

by edoggydog
2-21-05
Sure... I'll tell you what it's like to be a "pirate"...
Groovy!
Well... I start getting ready around 9 p.m. Then, I cruise down to "The Manhole" to have a drink. And, if I'm lucky, I meet someone and take him back to my place, "accidently" drop my keys, and we-
Wait a minute! What kind of pirate are you?
I'm a "butt" pirate! Wanna touch my "sword"?
At this point in the comic, I'd normally turn around and walk away. But, this time I think I'll opt to back up slowly, never losing eye contact...

 

by edoggydog
2-22-05
Ook, ack, ookity, ook...
Groovy!
Ack, ick, ook, ook! Ookity-ook, ack, waaahh! Ooookity-ook!!
Listen, monkey-boy... I don't believe you're from a future Earth where apes have complete dominance over humans. And, if you are telling the truth, what does that have to do with me bending over?
OOK, OOK, OOKITY-OOOOOOOOOK!!!
Okay, okay! Relax! I'll go grab the Astro-glide! Sheeesshh!

 

by edoggydog
2-22-05
Great news! Remember when I interviewed last month for that job which I have absolutely no experience? They just sent me this telegram saying I'm hired! I start tomorrow at 8:00 a.m.!
Groovy!
Hmmm... Maybe, I should re-think this. As much as I need the money, what if they find out I'm a fraud? What if they try to contact my phony references? What if..?
Relax! What's the worst that can happen? Besides, how hard can anesthesiology be?
8:16 a.m. (next day)
Dude! I got canned!!
Didn't we already do this @%#$ lame-ass punchline?!

 

by edoggydog
2-23-05
So... You want to know about my experience with "male enhancement"? Ok, I'll tell you...
Groovy!
Well, I didn't want to take any pills. So, I did some research, and found that there are enhancement creams, which you rub in, available on the market. So, I bought me a tube, and gave it a try...
Did your "member" increase in size?
No. But, my hand swelled to the size of a catcher's mitt!
Really? That usually happens to me after I do an extended bongo solo when playing at Cafe Le Puffs...

 

by edoggydog
2-24-05
Dude... I was checking out other comics on stripcreator.com, and I came across one written by a doofus named Bradford Knights...
Groovy!
Anyhoo... This jamoak was complaining about other strip creators not using good English in their comics. Well, after reading a few of his strips, I have three words for him...
Oh, yeah? What are they?
Humor @%$# 101!
Dammm! Wat up wid dat, dawg?! Dat be cold and sheet, home-grown!!

 

by edoggydog
2-24-05
RING! RING!
Groovy!
"I'm not available to answer the phone right now, so please leave your nme and number and I'll get back to you ASAP..."
Who is it? Who is it?
PICK UP THE PHONE, ASSHOLE! I KNOW YOU'RE THERE, $@%#-FACE!!
Nahhh... I don't feel like talking to mom today...

 

by edoggydog
2-25-05
Dude... I took my girl last night to go see one of those movies up for an Academy Award. Y'know, the one that's supposed to be about wine tasting...
Groovy!
Uh, not so "groovy"... After the opening credits, there was nothing but non-stop sex. (Which I didn't mind!) But, when they got to the butt-fucking scene, my girlfriend slapped my face and ran out!
Butt-fucking scene? Hmmm... That doesn't sound right. Are you sure you were watching "Sideways"?
"Sideways"?! Oh, shit! I took her to see "SLIDEways"!!
Butt-fucking scene! I gots to check this out...

 

by edoggydog
2-28-05
So... You want to know why we male dogs are constantly licking our nuts? Okay, I'll sum it up in three words...
Groovy!
Because... WE CAN!
That's it? Wow! That seems way too simple...
How complicated can ball-licking be?
Only for those of us who wish we could, but can't!

 

by edoggydog
2-28-05
The word is you are looking for something to make your "dipstick" grow bigger. Well, I've had my own personal success I can share with you...
Groovy!
It's a product called "Teenie-Weenie Be Gone". It let me tell you... It works! My "hang-me-down" grew an amazing six-and-a-half extra inches!
Super! Any side effects?
Well... my "crank-shaft" did turn black...
"Dipstick", "hang-me-down", "crankshaft"... Why doesn't he use a manly term like "pee-pee tube"?

 

by edoggydog
2-28-05
Dude... For the first time, in a long time, I feel totally free! No anxiety! No thoughts of regret! Nothing!!
Groovy!
Oh, Jesus! Why am I feeling this way. This just is not me. What's really happening? Life certainly can't be this carefree. I've got to think this through. Think, boy, think!! THINK!!!!
Whoa, dude, relax! You're taking this way too seriously! You need to lighten up before you-
-explode! Oh, well... I wonder what's playing down at the Porn Palace...

 

by edoggydog
2-28-05
Dude... I discovered the secret to success. I'll let you in on it for free...
Groovy!
I met some guy named Lew C. Ford (or something like that). Anywayz... He said that all I have to do is sign over my soul to him and I can have all the success and fame I want!
Uh... You might want to read the fine print before you-
OUCH!
-burn! (Which reminds me: I should go home and consult the Ouiji Board regarding my future...)

 

by edoggydog
3-01-05
So, forget all that "way and the light" crap! I mean, who does that son-of-god guy think he is? The son of God? He's a wimp! I can handle his ass!
Groovy
OUCH!
I wouldn't mess with J.C.! You just made him "cross"! Get it? CROSS? It's a joke! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!
OUCH!!

 

by edoggydog
3-01-05
As I was saying... I read your comic from a few weeks back regarding cats making the noise, "ME-OUCH" during anal sex, and I'd like to respond with my own question...
Groovy!
Do you know what a dog says when you butt-fuck him with a sandpaper dildo?
Let me guess..."ROUGH"?
Fuck you!
Pussy!

 

by edoggydog
3-02-05
Dude... Today was an unbelievably awesome day for me! I can't wait to give you all the details!
Groovy!
First, I woke up early this morning, and went down to the DMV to get new tags for my Hyundai. After that, I... I...
What? What did you do?
Oh, ever mind... Even to me, this story is starting to sound pretty @%#$ lame!
You're learning, bucket-head...

 

by edoggydog
3-03-05
If, you don't mind, I'd like to take a moment and speak directly to all the readers of "Groovy!"...
Groovy!
Okay... Listen up, you two... You may have noticed that some of the words used throughout this strip somehow don't make any sense, or are missing some letters. I can explain...
Coolio! Let's hear it!
It's because I can't @%#$ type, assholes!
Thanks for lettng us now...

 

by edoggydog
3-03-05
Groovy!
...so, then I tell the psychiatrist, "Never mind. We need the eggs!"
THAT JOKE STINKS WORSE THAN YOUR MOTHER'S VAGINAL YEAST OVERGROWTH!!
Damn! That was going to be my next joke...

 

by edoggydog
3-04-05
... then things really got crazy when the midgets showed up! I'll tell you the rest of the story after I finish peeing...
Groovy!
Ten minutes later...
Well...?
Like I said, last night's party was boss, and I drank WAY too much. So, this may take a while...
Damn... Now I need to go pee!

 

by edoggydog
3-07-05
OH, YES! YES! YES! YES! YESSSSSS!!!
Groovy!
We'll return to "When Harry Met Sally" after these important messages...
Fuck!
...so, if you suffer from V.Y.O., aka "Vaginal Yeast Overgrowth", buy Coocha Cream today! Side effects may include bleeding, scaling, discharge, septic-like odors, cramps, worms, flies...
Talk about spoiling the mood...

 

by edoggydog
3-07-05
...worms, flies, and mold spores. Major side effects include paralysis, death, and/or zombie-ism... We now return you to "When Harry Met Sally"...
Groovy!
...ugly, wagon-wheel coffee table!!
?
...I thought you said you liked my coffee table?
Damn! That fake orgasm scene really had me going! I wonder what that cat's up to? Here kitty, kitty...

 

by edoggydog
3-08-05
...then, we lined up on our own 20 yard line with only nine seconds left; the final play of the 1987 Soup Bowl. "DOWN. SET. HUT, HUT..!"
...I threw the ball 83 yards to an open reciever in the back of end zone! TOUCHDOWN!!
Wow! So, you won the game!!
No! Our %@$# kicker shanked the point-after, and we lost by four!!
Uh... You may want to re-progam your arithmetic software, Artoo...

 

by edoggydog
3-08-05
Okay... I know my last few stories sucked ass! But, wait until you hear what happened to me yesterday...
Groovy!
I was down at the local Circuit City, picking up an extra set of digital Y-joints, when up walked towards me was the most beautiful fem-bot with a bra-size of 44 double-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D...
?
...D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D--D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D...
Damn! That did sound like a great story! I hate that his hard drive freezes whenever he gets excited...

 

by edoggydog
3-09-05
...D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D cup.
Groovy!
Uh... What was I talking about?
You were telling me about that hot fem-bot you met a Circuit City...
Oh, yeah... Man! She had the biggest pair of ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti...
Here we go again...

 

by edoggydog
3-09-05
I just got back from kickboxing class... HEEEE-YA!!
Groovy!
Well... That ass-munching instructor asked me if I wanted to go for drinks afterwards...
Oh, yeah..? What did you do?
I punched him right in the "happy sac", and left!
Then, I guess a blowjob would be out of the question...

 

by edoggydog
3-10-05
I've been perusing some of the other comics throughout Stripcreator.com...
Groovy!
Maybe, I'm missing the point to this website...
What do you mean?
Was it originally started as a forum for aspiring, funny comics to perfect their craft, or for a bunch of monkeys, with no sense of humor, to submit crap that they banged out while high on meth?
Ook, ook...

 

by edoggydog
3-10-05
...so, then I tell the guy, "You can pick your own strawberries, thank you very much!"
Groovy!
I'll tell you the rest of the story just as soon as I'm done pee-
Wait a minute! Seems like you're always peeing in this strip! What's the deal?
I know, I know... Ever feel like you've been type-cast?
I don't know what you mean...

 

by edoggydog
3-11-05
You wanna hear what happened to me last night?
Groovy!
I was with my boyfriend, and I was suffering from a bad case of "taste loss"...
Were you drinking one of those bland light beers?
I wasn't drinking anything -if you know what I mean...
I [gulp!] sure do! Now, please excuse my while I go home and "flog the log"!

 

by edoggydog
3-11-05
...so, I tells the bartender to open his finest bottle of champagne!
Groovy
He asks me what the occasion was, and I tells him I just experienced my first blowjob!
So, you wanted to celebrate?
No... I just wanted to get the taste out of my mouth!
Try gurgling with pieapple juice. It usually works for me...

 

by edoggydog
3-11-05
Okay... Let's go through your statement one more time for accuracy...
Groovy!
"...handcuffs, pepper spray, nightstick, lipstick, panty hose, dress, wig, leg wax, stilettos, donuts, coffee." What the-?
?
Ah, fuck! This is my list for tonight's stakeout! Now I gotta go back to the station and grab your file. Fuck! Wait here. Fuck! Fuck! I'll be back. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! F-U-C-K!!!
There goes our FCC license! Fuck!!

 

by edoggydog
3-11-05
Okay... Let's go through this again to make sure I've got it right...
Groovy!
One McSloppy with cheese. One order of Freedumb Fries. One extra-large Pineapple Coke. And, an hot apple pie. That'll be $7.68...
I've got it right here...
We do accept tips, y'know...
I'll go get some extra cash... (Boy, they really need to start paying these cops better!)

 

by edoggydog
3-12-05
...so, I hope you now understand why I zapped you a few panels ago for that lame-ass joke about me being "cross". It's not nice to make fun of Christianity! But, all is forgiven, my son...
Groovy!
Besides, I tell the best religious jokes! For example: Did you hear the one about my Father and the Holy Spirit walking into a bar?
No... Tell me!
OUCH!
God must have woke up on the wrong side of heaven this morning...

 

by edoggydog
3-14-05
...so, then I tell them, "I didn't said anything sooner because the food's been pretty good up to this point."
Groovy!
Oh, damn... I think I just took a big dump in my diapers! Could you do me a HUGE favor?
Hell no!
What kind of uncle are you? You SUCK!!
Okay, okay! Let me go grab the baby wipes (along with rubber gloves, a gas mask, goggles, disinfectant, barf bag...)

 

by edoggydog
3-15-05
Y'know... After reading the other comics throughout Stripcreator.com, I realize we don't conform to the type of "comedy" that's in this website. So, I want to give that kind of humor a try. Ready?
Groovy!
Meanwhile, back at the happy place...
Heh, heh, heh... Let's see how they respond to my mind power now!
My arm! My arm!
So... What d'ya think?
Well, that really sucked like a Tijuana crack-whore!

 

by edoggydog
3-16-05
Groovy!
So... a limo driver walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long car?"
THE JOKE LICKS BALLS!
Hmmm... I wonder if I can teach my cat to lick balls...

 

by edoggydog
3-16-05
...so, I went and signed my soul over to that Satan dude. But, I ain't scared! I really don't believe there such a thing as the Devil, nor a place called Hell...
Groovy!
?
Uh... (heh, heh) Whoopsy!
Hmmm... Maybe I should cancel my subscription to "Lucifer Monthly"...

 

by edoggydog
3-16-05
...then I says to the woman, "Hey! You wanna leave my 'bone' out of it?"
Groovy!
Ah, shit! Here comes that damn dog again!
Is there a problem?
Yes, there's a "problem"! That son-of-a-bitch keeps trying to bury me!
Bonehead!

 

by edoggydog
3-16-05
...stay tuned after the news for a rerun of Cheers where Woody re-enacts the butt-fucking scene in "Deliverance". Now back to Peter Short and Action News team...
Groovy!
...huricane Paco is about to make landfall in south Florida. With a report from Ft. Lauderdale, we send it out to Dick Cabeza, who is right on the beach. How's the weather, Dick? (ha,ha)
That's cold, man...
WELL, PETER, IT'S VERY WET AND COLD! WINDS ARE REACHING UPWARD'S OF 190 MILES-PER-HOUR! DON'T...KNOW...HOW... MUCH... LONGER... I...CAN... STAND...UP... HERE -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
I wonder who Dick DIDN"T blow to get that position!

 

by edoggydog
3-17-05
...so, then I said to the woman, "There ain't anything 'holy' about it. That thar is cow shit!"
Groovy!
Boy! She sho' was cute! I wish I could remember her name...
Who? The woman?
No... The cow. What a set of udders! I'd love to "shake her milk", if you know what I mean...
Uh... I guess I'll be "moo"-ving on...

 

by edoggydog
3-17-05
...then the waitress asked me how I like my coffee.
Groovy!
So, I said that I like my coffee like I like my women...
Let me guess... "hot and black"?
No... with big tits!
Well, that certainly makes for an interesting mental image! Now, if you'll excuse me while I go home and "frost the cake"...

 

by edoggydog
3-18-05
Welcome to my "Comic Tutorial". Although there are many funny people submitting comics on Stripcreator.com, there are still a bunch that are not quite undersanding what humor is. I think I can help.
Groovy!
First of all, the comic must make sense to other people reading it. If, you and your buddies laugh at it after sucking down a major bongload, chances are it's too abstract, and not funny...
Any other tips?
Yes. Y'all are killing me with this "life is a burrito" crap! Using it over and over again doesn't make it funny! Please, knock it the @%#$ off!!
Gee... And I always thought that life is a taco salad!

 

by edoggydog
3-18-05
Dude! I just went to Fry's and had their computer tech give me the once-over, and, boy, do I feel great!
Groovy!
He repaired a glitch in my hard drive, so now when I get sexually excited, I don't freeze up! I can now finish the story about that fem-bot I met at Circuit City...
Coolio!
As you might recall, she had a huge set of ****! I took her back to my place and she showed me her *****, and preceded to **** my ****! Then, I ****** the **** out of her!! Then, I **** on her face!
Hmmm... Seems the tech forgot to turn off your "obscenity filter"...

 

by edoggydog
3-21-05
Y'know... It's Spring Break this week, and this year's going to be the best ever!
Groovy!
A few of us decided to forgo all the drinking and sex that usual ensues during this respite, and chose to do something productive. We're going to go build homes with Habitat for Humanity!
Well, good for you! Just be careful... You remember what happened last time you tried doing consruction!
Next day...
FUCK JIMMY CARTER!!
Well... Atleast you can tell everyone you got "nailed" this week! HAHAHAHAHAHA-oh, never mind...

 

by edoggydog
3-21-05
Dude... I've been listening to talk radio concerning a current hot topic of dicussion. I wanted to voice my opinion here, if that's okay...
Groovy!
I do realize that we don't get into controversial, divisive topics in this strip, but with what's been going on since last year, I feel it's time for me to speak out!
Say it loud and proud, my brothah!
THE LAKERS SHOULD HAVE KEPT SHAQ, AND DUMPED KOBE!! THEY SUCK !!!!
Damn, baby! That's too subject's too hot for me to handle! (I wonder how that woman in Iraq with the feeding tube is doing...)

 

by edoggydog
3-21-05
(Arrrggh!) You wanna here the latest regarding that woman with the feeding tube, me matey..?
Groovy!
She's dead! (Arrrgggh!) The doctor had her husband perform oral sex with her to try and stimulate brain activity...
So... How did she die?
Apparently, (Arrrggh!) she choked to death!
Should have seen that punchline coming down the Metrolink Blue Line...

 

by edoggydog
3-21-05
...so, then I told that jack off that there's no way THIS little piggy is going to the market!
Groovy!
I need your help... I recently finished my full conversion to Judaism, but they still won't let me go to Temple! I don't get it...
Dude... You're a pig! Hello?!
Never mind...
Th-th-th-th-that's all, folks!

 

by edoggydog
3-23-05
Dude... I went to a sales training seminar yesterday, and, boy, was it great! Not only was it educational, but it was very motivating!
Groovy!
I can't wait to go out and apply what I learned, and start making the big bucks!
Um... Didn't you get fired from your job last week?
Oh, yeah... Fuck.
Why do I even bother..?

 

by edoggydog
3-23-05
...so, then I shaid [BURP!] , "That's shilly! I don't even own a pushy cat..." [hic]
Groovy!
Shay... [BURP!] I just completed my full conversion to [hic] Judaism, but they shtil won't let me go to temple. I don't undershtand... What gives? [BRRRRAAAAPPP!!!]
Dude... You're a pig! Hello?!
Whatever... Oh, God! I think I'm going to be shick! [BARF!]
A man's got to know his limitations...

 

by edoggydog
3-23-05
Dude... Remember that cute, little Persian girl I've been dating? Last night she took me to meet her mother...
Groovy!
Uh, not so "groovy"... I tried speaking some Farsi that my friend Kian taught me a few months back to her mom, and she slapped me! I guess she wasn't impressed...
Man... That sucks!
(Persian swear words courtesy of Swearsaurus.com)
That's not the worst of it! Today, my girlfriend dumped me, and her brother tried to cut off my nuts! Just what does "kiram tu kunet, jendeh" mean?
How the "kiram" would I know, "mashang"!

Showing page 2.

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