All comics by eggy_mcmuffinman

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-26-02
We all know Romeo and Juliet's story. A boy and a girl fall in love. But, they come from two warring families (the Montagues and the Capulets). Here is our version. I'll play Mercutio, Romeo's pal.
I'm Juliet's father. I'm forcing her to marry some rich creep named Paris.
Uh ... I'll be Romeo.
What the heck. I'll be Juliet.
I'll play Benvolio, Romeo's other pal.
And I'm Tybalt. I HATE MONTAGUES!

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-27-02
Hey, Romeo. Why so blue?
Alas, I am in love with Rosalyn, but she doesn't love me.
Oh no, not again ...
You know, sometimes I feel like ending it all.
Whoa, tiger! Wait till act 5.
Oh right. Sorry.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-27-02
Look, you have got to get over this Rosalyn chick.
Try looking on the bright side for once. Check out some other girls.
No thanks. I'd rather wallow in self-pity.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
11-27-02
Well, here's the last invitation to the Capulet's party.
I sure hope it doesn't fall into the wrong hands!
Meanwhile
Hey Romeo! I just found an invitation to the Capulet's party!
Cool!

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-01-02
I know it's been a while since I made a comic. I realize now that I got WAY ahead of myself with the whole Romeo and Juliet thing. I guess I just got bored of it.
So, the whole Romeo and Juliet thing's off. Instead, I give you the next best thing: Lumpy and Flumpy!
You know, I'm really not that entertaining.
Just keep smiling.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-01-02
It seems we're on the moon.
Yes.
In another context, this could have been hilarious.
We suck.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-01-02
Hey Jess, do you want to be in my comic?
Please stay away from me.
Hey Alyssia, do you want to be in my comic?
Not particularly, no.
It's going to be a long day...
You suck!

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-01-02
Apparently, due to popular demand, we will continue with the Romeo and Juliet saga. I was an idiot for stopping midway.
Really, I do most royally suck. I have broccoli in my socks.
I was dropped on my head as a child. I have the IQ of a watermelon.
We get the point!

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-01-02
Oh, hey Mercutio.
Hi Romeo.
You know, last night I had a really weird dream. There was this fairy or something, and she had this stuff, and there were other people having dreams, and all sorts of creepy stuff was happening.
Uh ... that's great Mercutio. Listen, I have to be somewhere now...
We intellectuals are a lonely lot.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-01-02
Hey, everybody. Welcome to the annual Capulet cook-out!
May I direct attention towards my lovely daughter! I sure hope no Montagues fall in love with her!
That was a joke.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-01-02
Wow! That Juliet sure is something!
Do you be making passes at my cousin?
Uh, no.
Good. If there are two things I hate, they're people who make passes at my cousin and Montagues.
I'll just be leaving now...

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-01-02
Uh, hi there.
Hey.
Kiss me.
SOMEone's quick on the uptake.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-01-02
Come on, just one kiss?
Oh, alright.
Scene missing.
Wow. That was unsatisfying.
Tell me about it.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-01-02
Kiss me again!
Leave me alone!
Come on, just one more.
What part of "leave me alone" don't you get?
I love you.
I'll spell it out for you: L - E - A ...

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-06-02
Yes, I realize it's been an eternity since I made my last comic.
Look, it's not like I forgot about it. I'm just bored with the whole comic thing.
So NOW he tells us.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-06-02
On the bright side, I don't have to move.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-06-02
I could get used to this.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-06-02
I STILL think I'm more funny than Garfield.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-06-02
You know, this is actually kind of realxing.
No annoying plotlines, no jokes at my expense...heck, I've got it made!
3 ... 2 ... 1 ...

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-06-02
Grey! What in God's name are you doing here?
Uh...
Getting ready to perform a rousing medley of show tunes?
Sing anything from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" and you die.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-06-02
We're sorry if we offended any fans of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" with our last strip.
We sincerely hope you all die in a horrible train wreck.
You just had to ruin it, didn't you?

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-06-02
We're really really REALLY sorry for that last strip. We realize there was nothing humorous in suggesting that all "Rocky Horror" fans should die.
Tune in for our next comic when we kick the crap out of The Queen.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-06-02
I'm really really really really really REALLY sorry for offending royalty in our last strip.
From now on, we will introduce a more politically correct approach to making our comics.
Will we still be funny?
No.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-07-02
I like to learn.
Church is great! I love America!
Um...
I must remember to be cheerful and obedient! Mindless conformity is fun AND convenient! It's great to censor things we don't understand!
Ah, screw it. DIE, YOU HORRIBLE HIDEOUS FREAK!

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-10-02
Ok, time for some new fan mail. This one reads: "Dear Santa, for Christmas, I'd like a pony, an Elmo doll, and some crayons.
That's odd...
Meanwhile...
We've got some new hate mail from some guy calling you Eggy.
Ingrates.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-10-02
I'm telling you, I'm tired of this whole Christmas deal. I'm getting a replacement!
But who?
Someone kind and compassionate, obviously.
I'll see what I can do.
You want me to WHAT?
Believe me, this was not my idea.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-12-02
Excuse me, could you direct me to Santa's workshop?
Certainly. It's just two miles east of here.
You're Rudolph, right?
No. Just drunk.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-17-02
So, you're Santa Claus.
Yes indeed, I am.
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
Gimme some figgy pudding.
No.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-17-02
So, just what IS the true meaning of Christmas?
Tacky holiday ties!
Wow. You're scarier than I thought.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-17-02
You know, a good, long retirement is all I need.
You can't do that!
I mean, the kids love you. And all those nasty letters were probably just fake.
And how would you know anything about that?
See, it's a funny story...

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-17-02
I call it: "polar bear in a snowstorm".
I call it: "loser with too much time on his hands".

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-22-02
Well, whaddya think of my tree?
I think it could use a bit more tweaking.
For example...?
how about some laser cannons, a cloaking device and some barbed wire?
Never speak to me again.
Hippie.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-22-02
Ah, the perfect snowman.
Creepy coincidence or evil omen?

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-22-02
Who the devil are you?
I'm Mlorky, the Christmas mutant!
That's great. I'll be over here now.
Jerk.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-25-02
That was some Christmas party.

 

by eggy_mcmuffinman
12-31-02
Well, that was some wild year wasn't it?
Sure was.
I wonder how we'll be able to top the success of these past few months?
Only one way to find out!
The author's run out of ideas, hasn't he?
yep.

 
Do the hustle!
You're an idiot.

 
Oh crap! The comic!

 

Sometimes I wonder why no one respects me.
Maybe because you're a freaking disembodied head.

 

Ah, nothing like a nice relaxing stroll through the park!
Um, you're in the bottom of the ocean, mister.
That would explain my inability to breathe.

 

And now, ladies and gentlemen, a FEROCIOUS MAN-EATING T. REX!
Did somebody here order a latte?
Urge to kill...rising...

 

Hello and welcome to "Talking to Drunk Scotsmen".
ayanaeeiaachereleellerachaouwn
Uh...we'll be right back.

 

Hello children! I am Jean-Pierre!
Today we will be talking about the merits of obscenely tight bicycle shorts.
Get the hell out of my comic.
No.

 

Blah blah blah blah blah...
Why am I talking to a drunk guy with no pants?
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...
I always wind up in these situations. Maybe I'm too soft. Maybe I'm too polite to say, "Sir, will you please leave me alone?"
AAAAAAAAHHHHH!
Yup. That must be it.

 

And now, time for some more fan mail. This one's from Jimmy in Alberta. It says: "Dear Stickman, how do you keep so thin and trim?"
Why, the answer is simple Jimmy!
Fear.

 

And now, it's time for a brand new segment of our comic entitled: "Ask A Bug!"
Mr. Bug, what's your position on current events?
Who cares? I'm a freaking bug.
Let's give him a big hand!
Kill...

 

Due to the limited gag potential of "Ask a Bug", we now present the next best thing: "Ask a Smouldering Pile of Ashes!"
What's your position on current events?
Hello?
Kill…

 

What do you think of my clone army?
Oh...dear...God...no!

 
Happy Birthday!
What the hell?

 

I'm an
Ord-in
ar-y
guy!
Burning down the house!
Never speak to me again.

Showing page 2.

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