All comics by eponine

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by eponine
11-06-02
Do I look too revolting in this?
...Not really.
How about my rotting flesh? How does it look? And would you mind holding my arm for a minute? I'm going to change shirts after all.
I thought you zombie guys would be a lot lower maintenance.

 

by eponine
11-07-02
Ack. Thbbbbt.
I know I wanted to change my image, but this is ridiculous.

 

by eponine
11-08-02
You're a figment of my imagination.
You've got some explaining to do about those high school days.

 

by eponine
11-08-02
Attack squirrel.
Oh. That sucks.
Yeah. What about you?
Exploding electric razor.

 

by eponine
11-09-02
I bought us tickets to go see Les Miserables in December. We have pretty good seats in the orchestra section. I'm pretty excited...
I already know what I'm going to wear. Now I need to set aside some money so I can buy some shirts and stuff after the show...
We should think about where we'd like to have dinner before the show. I've made a list of interesting places in the Zagat restaurant guide...
This better have a huge payoff.

 

by eponine
11-09-02
Didn't you say you were going to have an intense writing session tonight?
Yes.
I did finish my Christmas list.

 

by eponine
11-09-02
Well, we've got Christmas coming up and then your birthday in January. Got any gift suggestions?
Videos, a DVD player and DVDs, money, a top of the line computer, computer games, chocolate, a cool futon, a quality bean bag chair, a few good comic books,
a comfy new black bra, dark-colored sweaters, tickets to a show on Broadway, a good blender, a french fry cutter, some Neil Gaiman books, amazon.com gift certificates...
I don't know, honey. Maybe you should just use your best judgment.

 

by eponine
11-10-02
This is the line for the women's restroom?
Actually, we're sneaking into the men's. The line for the women's restroom circles the building twice.

 

by eponine
11-11-02
Try Checkers' new Screamin' Chicken Strips!
Now THAT would be a nightmare.
Stop being so literal.

 

by eponine
11-15-02
You have done well, though I did expect you sooner...
Here he goes again.
Are you kidding me? That's the quickest we've ever killed Duriel! You suck, Tyrael.

 

by eponine
11-15-02
Ah, Anya. Such a fine example of feminine strength. She reminds me of the Zakarum priestesses I knew in my youth. They don't take vows of chastity, you know.
Be still, my heart.
Fifty or so years ago, Cain was getting all the ladies.

 

by eponine
11-19-02
Brrring. Brrring. Brrring.
No, I'm not answering you this time. I refuse.
Nobody's trying to sell you anything, give you a free Nokia cell phone, get you to change long-distance providers, or persuade you to donate money to their cause. I swear!
Riiight.
Well, there goes that million dollar grand prize.

 

by eponine
11-21-02
Blah.
Yuck.
You heard me. A vibrator.

 

by eponine
12-02-02
Javert! I knew you wouldn't wait too long--the faithful servant at his post once more.
I warned you I would not give in. I won't be swayed!
Hell, let's just go for beers.
You're buying.

 

by eponine
12-09-02
You got yourself a Harry Potter broomstick? Isn't that kind of silly?
I don't think you understand. This is the vibrating Harry Potter Nimbus 2000 Broom.
I can get it on Amazon, right?

 

by eponine
12-09-02
Pam, it's been really great to see you again. I can't remember why we ever broke up!
Figures.
We broke up because you never remembered a thing I told you.

 

by eponine
12-09-02
I'm your new gynecologist.
I just moved in next door.
I am confident the American people will re-elect me.

 

by eponine
12-17-02
It's just a matter of time before this one starts hitting on me, too.
I'll take you to levels of the sexual stratosphere to which you've never been.
Okay.

 

by eponine
12-17-02
And in time we'll discover the explanation. Meanwhile, none of it suggests anything threatening. If only every life-form had as much desire to please Starfleet.
Ready to beam down? I'm looking forward to meeting this Groppler Zorn.
Honey, I'm trying to sleep.

 

by eponine
12-18-02
...
...
Aw, c'mon. What did I do wrong this time?
Hmph. If you don't already know, I'm certainly not going to tell you.

 

by eponine
1-07-03
Hey, Katie. Long time no see! You remember that time in high school when--
I sure do.

 

by eponine
1-07-03
Hosanna heysanna sanna sanna hosanna hey sanna hosanna. Hey JC, JC, won't you smile at me? Sanna hosanna hey superstar!
Hosanna heysanna sanna sanna hosanna hey sanna hosanna. Hey JC, JC, you're alright by me. Sanna hosanna hey superstar!
Would you shut up?

 

by eponine
1-08-03
I was just thinking earlier today about how unrealistic sex is on TV.
Yeah. How many post-sex conversations really start with a worshipful "That was amazing!"?
I'm going to go question my manhood for awhile now.
Okay, honey. But try to keep it down. I'm going to sleep.

 

by eponine
1-14-03
Remember when we were convinced boys had cooties?
Haha!
Yeah...
Doesn't hurt to check, though.
So they really don't?

 

by eponine
1-21-03
Grandpa, I hear that you and Grandma had a long courtship.
You could say that.
Were you childhood sweethearts?
Well, she lived next door and there weren't many boys my age in the neighborhood. She always wanted to play house with me.
When did you realize you were going to marry Grandma?
When her father came over to my house with his shotgun.

 

by eponine
1-21-03
Grandma, is it true that Grandpa used to pick on you a lot when you were children?
Oh heavens, yes. His family lived next door to mine and he was three years older than me. Thought he was God's gift to little girls, he did.
Really?
He came over to our house for dinner one day. While I was sitting at the table, he yanked my braid. Nearly pulled my hair right out! That was the last straw.
Wasn't he just teasing you because he liked you?
I don't know, but I punched that sucker's lights out. He's never crossed me since.

 

by eponine
1-23-03
January 24th, huh? It was exactly two years ago I made my very first comic on stripcreator.
Yeah? Congratulations.
Thanks, I think.
This wasn't one of those special dates I was supposed to remember and buy you a gift for, right?

 

by eponine
1-27-03
Hey, Patty, do you remember when The Third Official Tag Team Cup began here on stripcreator?
...Why, no, I don't.
Oh, that's right. That was before your time. You young scamp!

 

by eponine
1-28-03
Aaah!
My testicles!
Yeah, they just fell right off there.

 

by eponine
1-29-03
Fucking unbelievable.

 

by eponine
2-07-03
Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.
Allow me to show you the door.

 

by eponine
2-07-03
You're my future self? When did I cut my hair?
Let's just say we've made some unfortunate dating decisions. We had a whirlwind romance with a self-proclaimed voodoo priestess. It ended badly.
You're kidding.
I wish.
What's with the cat?
Our wife. Apparently voodoo priestesses hold grudges for a long time.

 

by eponine
2-10-03
Hey, I noticed something kind of funny when I was checking my hotmail account earlier.
Both the banner ad about debt problems and the ad for profiles of single women featured the exact same picture of a brunette.
That was my ex, wasn't it?

 

by eponine
2-14-03
Don't cry, Sheila! It'll be okay, I promise. There are plenty of other human beings on the land.
That sucked.
Yeah, that didn't work out as well as I'd hoped.

 

by eponine
2-25-03
I got here as soon as I could. What's going on?
I thought you should know that the first phase of our plans has been completed, though not quite as we had expected...
You guys gave the antichrist to the wrong couple again, didn't you?
Yes. But there will be no major changes with our End Of The World plans. In fact, this is much better than we had hoped for.
Who are they?
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez.

 

by eponine
5-21-03
New boy in the neighborhood lives downstairs and it is understood--he’s there just to take good care of me, like he’s one of the family.
Charles in charge of our days and our nights! Charles in charge of our wrongs and our rights!
I didn't know this show was about a hostage situation.

 

by eponine
5-25-03
That scythe is fucking awesome.
T.J. Maxx. Twenty-five bucks.
No way.
Got the cloak there, too. Check me out.

 

by eponine
6-06-03
Yes, I would love to be governor of California. ... If the state needs me, and if there's no one I think is better, then I will run.
And if there is someone better...
You know I'm the Terminator, right?

 

by eponine
7-22-03
!
I guess you've heard that Russell Crowe has been allowed to breed?

 

by eponine
2-03-04
What's the trouble, man? You look like hell.
I came in from work tonight to find my wife in bed with the guy that lives across the street. They were completely naked.
She apologized and said they had just experienced a "wardrobe malfunction."

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