All comics by ftc

Profile

 

by ftc
5-12-05
Yesterday I saw G.W Bush running down the street with two gun shots in his side.
Oh my god, what did you do then?
I did what any honest American would do ...
I reloaded and shot the bastard again.

 

by ftc
5-12-05
One day whilst browsing the net I came across Stripcreator.com, and the amount of cursing, racism and Sex talk on it is disgraceful. Honestly, nobody thinks of the children anymore.
Now thats just not true!

 

PhreakyChinchilla is teh cool.
by ftc, 5-13-05

 

Everyone agreed that Jake's new girlfriend was a complete DOG!
by ftc, 5-14-05

 

-
Whats the difference between Bob Geldof and God....
...God doesnt think he's Bob Geldof.
by ftc, 7-02-05

 

by ftc
8-02-05
Walking along in Belfast City, Dexx is jumped on by a gun-man...
Hey You! Are you Catholic or Protestant!?
Oh oh. Im in serious shit. There's a 50-50 chance that Im going to get a cap in my ass. Think damnit THINK!
Ohh ... Im a Jew.
A Jew, eh!? Well I must be the luckiest German in Belfast then.

 

by ftc
8-07-05
Your big and lethal...
I'm small and useless...
So this time i'll let you off with a warning.

 

"God is as real as I am," the old man said. My faith was restored, for I knew that Santa would never lie.
by ftc, 8-22-05

 

What's your policy on serving minors?
by ftc, 9-06-05

 

Best. Gay bar. Ever.
by ftc, 9-06-05

 

Your toilet seats are ideal for snorting speed.
by ftc, 9-06-05

 

I jest, I jest because I love.
I'm Scottish
by ftc, 9-06-05

 

This pint is watered down, isnt it? It's okay, you can tell me.
by ftc, 9-06-05

 
by ftc, 9-06-05

 

Tonight, I'm the designated driver.
by ftc, 9-07-05

 

Wasnt this place meant to close up, like, two hours ago?
by ftc, 9-07-05

 

I'll just have a glass of tap water, thanks.
by ftc, 9-07-05

 

Boy, you Britts sure do know how to party!
by ftc, 9-09-05

 

by ftc
4-13-06
And that my friend is what you call a Watery Fart.

 

by ftc
4-22-06
Listen, asshole, the SCPD's officers cannot be bribed!
Oh YEAH!?!!
Touchée

 

by ftc
5-27-06
... if you raped her before.
... if you cuddle afterwards.
... if you cum in her ass.
... if you paid for it.
... if her mom is watching.
... if she doesn't tell anyone.

 

by ftc
5-27-06
... if she's ugly.
... if she's a he.
... if she's asleep.
... if you inflated her first.
... if she looked like she wanted it.
... if you're related.

 

by ftc
5-27-06
... if you use your foot.
... if you fuck her in the armpit.
... until the fat lady sings.
... if there is more than two people.
... if no means yes and yes means no.
... if you're married.

 

by ftc
5-28-06
... if you met them on the internet.
... if their age is divisible by nine.
... if you bought her a meal beforehand.
... if she doesn't speak English.
... if it's FunnyKid.
... ITS RAPPP!!11

 

by ftc
5-28-06
FTC_____________|______________TYS
... IF YOU'RE BOTH WEARING HATS.
... if you say sorry afterwards.
FTC_____________|______________TYS
... if they dont see your face.
... if they are retarded.
FTC_____________|______________TYS
... it's sex with a twist.
... if no ones comes.

 

by ftc
5-28-06
FTC_____________|______________TYS
... if they consented whilst drunk.
... if you're just practicing for a play.
FTC_____________|______________TYS
... if you crawl inside her and have a wank.
... if she cant say no.
FTC_____________|______________TYS
... if she has diarrohea. It's just sick.
... if she pissed herself. Its just slick.

 

by ftc
5-28-06
FTC_____________|______________TYS
... if you kill her afterwards. It's homicide.
... if you film it in black and white, its art.
FTC_____________|______________TYS
... if she gives you herpes.
... if you're tied up too.
FTC_____________|______________TYS
... if they repeatedly say NO, it's just annoying.
... if they look like someone you know.

 

... if you get up afterwards and shout NOT IT.
by ftc, 5-28-06

 

by ftc
5-28-06
I'm free!
*fwwwwrap*

 

by ftc
6-15-06
Ladies and gentlemen, the next product on show is by-far the best. It's a washer/dryer combo which will vacuum to perfection. Feast your eyes on...
... woman!

 

by ftc
6-16-06
How much does it cost!?, I hear you cry. Why you don't pay for the woman with money. No siree bob...
.. you pay for it with your Social Life, confidence and the inability to make a decision ever again.

 

by ftc
6-16-06
It is more sophisticated than your average (ON/OFF) house-hold item. It uses a series of modes to opperate...
... such as "cranky", "unreasonable", "clingy" and "god damn annoying".

 

You wouldn't hit a disabled man with glasses, would you?
Sonny, I kicked you into that wheelchair two years ago -- now Im going to kick you out of it.
by ftc, 8-27-06

 

by ftc
12-18-06
... and now we go Live with James on the streets of Ipswich as he interviews a woman of the oldest profession.
Alice, as the suspect is still at large.. has there been much of a change within the organisation?
No, James. Not really. Although the price has gone up a fair margin...
... the shifts are still murder.

 

by ftc
6-17-07
Say cracker, hows about we play ourselves a game of mommas and pappas?
Oh fuck.
You can pick first, yo. Who you wanna be, cracker?
I think I'll be the Daddy, if you don't mind.
Course not cracker, now come here and suck Mommas fat dick.

 

by ftc
6-20-07
*hiccup* OI! *hiccop* YOU AGAIN! GARAAG!
Not so tough now, are you Batman!? *hiccup*

 

by ftc
6-20-07
Hey Maura, do you read much?
Oh yea, quite a bit actually.
Oh really! Have you red...
PUBIC HAIR! OHHHH YEEEAAH!

 

Why the long wang?!?!
by ftc, 7-20-07

 

by ftc
4-23-09
I was diagnosed with alzheimers today.
But at least I don't have alzheimers.

Showing page 2.

« Previous