All comics by ftc

Profile

 

by ftc
3-06-04
Were your parents brother and sister too?

 

by ftc
3-06-04
Ready?
I guess...
Well?
Let me put it this way...
...we're doing it with the light off.

 

by ftc
3-06-04
Ready?
I guess...
Well?
Hahahahahahahaha
4 Hours Later
Hahahahahaha

 

by ftc
3-06-04
Ready?
I guess...
Well?
Let me put it this way.
0.343 of a second later
Shall we move this conversation to the bed?

 

by ftc
3-13-04
Son, could you come here for a minute?
I wonder what he wants..
Son, your getting older now, its about time we had a heart to heart.Is there anything on your mind?
Yes dad...where do babies come from?

 

by ftc
3-21-04
Holy crap! It's a scary alien! AAGGHH!
Take me to your leader.
Why? What do you aliens want from us humans?
You know what we want...
No i dont, thats why i asked.

 

by ftc
3-21-04
Holy crap! It's a scary alien! AAGGHH!
Take me to your leader.
Why? What do you aliens want from us humans?
You know what we want...
OH NO WE DONT
OH YES YOU DO

 

by ftc
3-21-04
The MikeyG Song..
o/Oh Mr.MikeyG, he makes me wanna pee,im the size of a flee,i wish my name was Lee,or even MikeyG!o/
o/I love to say his name,despite if it is plain,he looks like max pane,no wait im insane\o
Its gets worse....
o/i'd like to see MikeyG,and punch him for making me wanna pee...
....I look like tweety\o
*Cringe*
o/thank you birdie,your nice like MikeyG,god im such a kiss-ass,and i stopped smokin grass,cos MikeyG said so,and i did cos im his HO!\o
o/so there's a song about MikeyG,I was blind but now can see,Peace,love,empathy from FTC.o/

 

by ftc
5-02-04
RAAAAAR! TOBOR COME TO CORNHOLE!!!!
Holy Powdered Hyena Semen! How'd you get in here?
TOBOR FIND KEY UNDER WLECOME MAT. HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF TOBOR, THE RED RUMP RAPIST?
I don't believe I have.
Boy, These kinky bedroom games are fun!*giggle*
yes, they've saved our marriage!

 

by ftc
6-06-04
My eye's hurt.
No YOUR eye's hurt!
Your a dick.

 

by ftc
6-07-04
*Knock Knock*
Come on in Mary, the door's open.
Alright Tom, I'll just hang up my coat. I hear you've stopped smoking, How are you getting on with that?
Good....i ummm.....think?

 

by ftc
6-08-04
Me and my friend found an old abandoned undertakers, it was scary.
Yea I hear it's a dying profession.
Yea...your still a dick.

 

by ftc
6-08-04
Hey FTC, whats up?
Oh my god, it's Brad! Creator of SC. Just stay calm, deep breaths...
Ok, you better say something. He's starting to stare....Its been been ten minutes, he thinks your a weirdo, just take your balls out of your pocket and say something!!!
Pocket Pumper!
...the fuck?
Smooth...Real Smooth...

 

by ftc
6-12-04
________________________________________
In The Confession Box
Moslest me fathe.....Ehh....i mean Bless........Bless Me Father...yes...bless.
________________________________________

 

by ftc
6-12-04
Hey Baby, whats up?
Nothing much, im just thinking about how some things are weird.
Like what, baby?
Like...........

 

by ftc
6-12-04
Like the way someone else's toast always smells nicer than your own...
Never thought about it...
The way there's always crumbs in the button tub....
I like the crumbs.
How babies only have one hair on their head...
No, thats just you....freak.

 

by ftc
6-12-04
How dogs have puppies and not doggies...
Thats just stupid.
Why Brad doesnt make comics...
I wonder why?
Why Fuck threw in the towl....
His comiks wrocked!

 

by ftc
6-12-04
Why the Asian Girls are the default characters...
Because their first on the list!?
...the fuck?
Like why i suddenly turned into Asian Girl 1...
...

 

by ftc
6-12-04
Like why i wrote down Button instead of Butter in PART 2...
Yea that was stupid.
Like how your clothes are gone...
Hmm...breezzy
Like how Cowboy Physics got so popular....
What the fuck are you talking about!?

 

by ftc
6-13-04
Like why there are so many spammers on the internet....
Spammers?Really? www.HoppyAndGeorge.com www.BradSucks.net
Like why a mother always knows best...
A sixth sense. Thats how the legend goes anyway.
Like how Jacobs® get the fig in their Figrolls(TM)...
They...emm....put the thing..into...the machine...then the elves...

 

by ftc
6-14-04
Like why the tea bag doesnt break up in the cup....
Its made of jizz?
Like why that guy is hammering a nail into his head...
Haha, Go on ya boy-ah!

 

by ftc
6-15-04
You see what i mean?
Yea i do, but, nothing is weirder than a talking baby!
FIN!
You can be so mean when your sober!

 

by ftc
6-16-04
Its too late for that Butch, the damage is done, if i'v told you once, i'v told you a million times; Don't bite the arm that feeds you!

 

by ftc
6-17-04
I bruise like a pear!
I MOO like a mere!
I POO like a bear!

 

by ftc
6-17-04
Hey man, whats brown and sticky?
POO!
Heh, Heh.
Haha, Ok, i'v got one. Why did the chicken cross the road?
POO!
POO!

 

by ftc
6-23-04
Hey, did you guys hear about that professor that had constipation? He worked it out with his pencil!
Hehe
HahaHa! Good one!
Ewwww, thats gross!
Elsewhere.... "Dun-DUN-DUHHN!"

 

by ftc
6-24-04
...and then they all sat down and drank gingerale!
Wrong!
The Battle of Kinsale wasn't over GINGERALE!
Oh, god my knowledge of Irish History is about as impressive as Leeds United's bank balance.

 

by ftc
6-25-04
The Streets of Portugal After The England vs Portugal Match
The Streets of Portugal After The England vs Portugal Match
The Streets of Portugal After The England vs Portugal Match

 

by ftc
8-21-04
Enough fucking around Vinnie. Ya gots the Don's money or whut? It ain't good ta keeps the Don waiting ya know. I don't wants ta havta bust ya balls.
*Gulp* Um I-I-I don't have the Don's money b-b-but maybe I can repay him some other way?
Hmmm...
Uh oh.
You want me to draw on your right eyebrow?!!? Sure!

 

by ftc
9-25-04
You cant make me eat cabbage I drive a car, God, I forgot to feed the sheep.
Aye, But you see ... look a penny! No wait thats mt foot. My mother is the best thing since bread in sliced form?Who the fuck are you!

 

by ftc
9-25-04
Two Fat ladies, 45!
One and two, 83!
All the six's, 39!

 

by ftc
10-30-04
Hello there, Im the owner of the BBC.
Erm, Hello Mr.BBC owner. Do you have any new programme's coming soon?
Yea, we have this documentary about women and the infections they can get on their reproductive organs.
Cool, what's it called?
"Walking With Vagina Sores!"

 

by ftc
10-30-04
One Day Browsing Ebay
*Reads*"Second Hand Condom, Two Previous Owners" Holy shit, who would bid on that!!??
Elsewhere...
YOUR BID HAS BEEN PLACED
HUZZAH!

 

by ftc
10-30-04
I can't believe what we're going to do, I'm so excited!
Yea me too!
I love you so much that I'm willing to give you my virginity!
I love you so much that I'm willing to give you my Crabs.

 

by ftc
11-06-04
So, did it hurt??
Awww, he's coming on to with the lamest chat up line ever. Thats kinda sweet.
*Clears Throat* Did what hurt?
When you fell from the ugly tree!?

 

by ftc
11-07-04
I M GOIN 2 RAPP U!!!111
Oh no!
Tune in next week when...
Hey, I found my pants!

 

by ftc
1-03-05
Yup, I remember in the 40's when my Dad brought home our first radio, I asked him how it worked and he told me there was elves inside. I ripped it open and found no elves...oh how my parents laughed.
I also remeber when he brought home our first T.V. I asked him how it worked and he told me it had elves inside. So I ripped it apart and found no elves. Oh how my parents laughed.
Then one day he came home with a puppy...
Well they can't all be happy stories.
Go home Grampa!!

 

by ftc
1-06-05
Jane, If you didn't have a boyfriend, would you go out with me?
Holy god, NO! Your so ugly, your a wimp, your small, your pathetic ...
20 Minutes Later
... you have small feet and you live with your parents. Any more questions?
Well, I was going to ask you what you like to do with a guy's self esteem, but, I see you like kill that.

 

by ftc
1-22-05
Boorite is a world wide famous Detective, if he can't find it then it's probably not there.
Boorite, I need your help, I lost my car keys. I think I lost them in Montreal, you do know where that is, don't you?
Of course I do ... err ... excuse me while I goes elsewhere for one moment.
Elsewhere ...
Welcome to Microsoft's Auto Route
Exactly one moment later
Ok, Lets go.

 

by ftc
1-22-05
Female News Anchors for the average Male Wankers.

 

by ftc
1-23-05
SVKomix!
YAE!!
What the ...? Phew, it was only a dream.
Carlsberg don't make nightmares ...
... But if they did, they'd probably be the best nightmares in the world.

 

by ftc
1-23-05
I love the flu, I think it's great.
Except for the old people ... it makes them die.

 

by ftc
1-23-05
Meet John. He's training to be a journalist. He likes to go from place to place saying things like they are.
Does my ass look big in this?
Things like they are.
Is my head too shiney?
Things like they are.

 

by ftc
2-01-05
What sexual position produces the uglist baby?
I dont know?
Ask your mom.

 

by ftc
2-03-05
What do you call a woman who has lost her mind?
I dunno. What?
A widow.

 

by ftc
2-04-05
*yawn* Well I suppose I better get the fuck up.
Oh your already up...
Yup

 

by ftc
2-04-05
Whats round and smelly?
A smelly round thing.
What big and annoying?
A big annoying thing.
Whats fat and ugly?
Boinky.

 

by ftc
2-19-05
Ina Hospital Private Waiting Room
Doctor, Will Michael Jackson be able to stand trial?
No, sorry your Honour. I'm afraid Mr.Jackson is a very sick man.
How sick?
He likes to sleep with little boys.

 

by ftc
4-02-05
But never anticipated the queue ...
Hurry up Spankling, you've been in there are FRICKIN' DAY!
I can watch them through the window, better than Haggis this is.
Several Miles Later ...
Nice ass Kaufman
Save it for the M.I.L.F Gabe.

 

by ftc
5-12-05
Hey man, you shouldnt eat all those pies, if you carry on the way you are you'll be dead before your thirty!
I'll not die. Did you know my Grandfather lived to 102, and you know how he did it?
How?
He minded his own fucking business!

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