All comics by fzh

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by fzh
8-16-03
He fights for justice/lone warrior in the night/HaikuMan is here
"Haiku" is made/of three hiragana, they/ are Ha, I, and Ku
later...
This guy still hasn't changed his sig?
I still stand by my/ point that Haiku is of/ three Hiragana
Both word and concept/ of Haiku first came from/ the land of Japan
In Japanese each/Hiragana represents/ Just one syllable

 

by fzh
8-17-03
So I was really bored, and I did a google search..
squirrel...let's see...huh? what's this?
http://www.eecs.harvard.edu/~yaz/en/squirrel_fishing.html
Hey,were students at Harvard! We're doing some Rodent Performance Evaluation. We tried chasing them, but that didn't work.
So, then we came up with the idea throwing peanuts lures them out. So what we do is we tie the peanuts to a string, and then the squirrels come running to get the peanut.
so we drag it along the ground and the squirrels follow it. We also try to knock them on their backs by swinging it above their heads. that didn't work. They grabbed onto it and we swung them around.

 

by fzh
8-24-03
top of the evenin to ya! vote for me as guvna!
I'm an ass, if you're a Democrat vote for me! You like donkey,s right Democrats? Right?
vote for me cuz I'm white! You all think I'm gonna lose. It's cuz I'm white, huh?
We're all running!
I'm actually not running.
HA HA! LOSER!

 

by fzh
8-24-03
Picking upp where I left off....There was a new group of Christians my dad was hearing about...
God is great, God is nice, God does friendly things to everyone, God is Chill.
What the hell is this guy's problem? I've always been taught that God is a mean old man that just can't wait to punish you!
Waiddaminute, how do we know what God is like...or even if there is a God? I bet us humans made him up.
I'VE BEEN LIVING A LIE!!!!
And thus my dad became an athiest...
Are you sure you want to leave us, Brother Tibor?
Go to non-exsistant hell.

 

by fzh
8-25-03
So, I heard from the other comics on this site thaty I get 72 virgins because I was a suicide bomber.
Yep, they're right behind me.
Hello little girl, have you seen my 72 virgins?
Yes. I'm one of them.
Some how I didn't think that's what was meant...Just us losers and those little kids.
You were expecting young atractive females? Not enough of them are virgins.

 

by fzh
8-25-03
Vote Republican, Democrats Suck.
Nu UNNN Republicans suck. Vote Democrat.
Anyway, I'm much better than this sumbag, Wanna see me trying to brainwash kids in their schools?
Who are you calling a scumbag, You commited a crime that never really happened, but I will claim it did too make you look bad but just make myself look stupid.
Baby killer.
Nazi.

 

by fzh
8-30-03
DURRR!!! I is tEh st00pid! i BE smartt!
Wait, that's not how I act! Why am I acting this way?
It is because I as author control your every action!!!
Then how come you are making me question you like this?
QUITE YOU!!!
PROBING TIME!!!!
AHHHHH!!!!!

 

by fzh
8-31-03
At the local Walgreens store....*note I was wearing a shirt that said "YOU SPEAK CRAZINESS!"*
You know that is true about these people who say they can read the future, you know?
Umm...what?
I was talking about your shirt. But then again, some people have the gift of God and they CAN tell the future. Threre are real prophets.
what the hell is this lady talking about?
And then there's the people with the gift from the Devil...you know, psychic powers and such.
Listen, I'm gonna go now....bye.

 

by fzh
9-03-03
I'm so depressed, I have no reason to be...... why? why can't I be happy?
am living with all the money a man could ask for, love, friends, but still I cant be happy..... what's wrong with me?
I so lost...... I cant keep this up forever, when wil I be ahppy? whn? oh goddess, when?
That's me last year.

 

by fzh
9-03-03
so, you were feeling the same way last year?
Mmyep.
so are you feeling better now?
Yes, better.
so how you cope?
One word: Shiranne.

 

by fzh
9-03-03
So how'd you get to know this Shiranne?
I guess you could say there was some CHEMISTRY between us! HA HA HA!
What? I don't get it.
She was my lab partner in chem.
That's not funny.
fuck you.

 

by fzh
9-03-03
So, how did Shiranne help you with your angst?
Two wrongs made a right, we were both angsty and we both help ease eachother's pain.
really?
Yep, I let her read many of my more personal journal entries about my angst.
So, umm...How does this help ME with MY angst?
Umm....I dunno, How does it?

 

by fzh
9-03-03
So, you're not angsty anymore?
Oh no, you have it all wrong! A good emotion that proceded the angst became one of self-doubt and hatred of my life, but now it's JUSTIFIED.
Oh...I see.
Well, that's all I have to say. I'll leave you to your own devices now.
Sorry, Mikey+angst=need to use this image
Why? Why? Why? Why?

 

by fzh
9-04-03
Oh Forest, why do you do this to yourself? everytime you finish something, you feel you have to explain or correct it.
OK, I feel I made a few mistakes in "Background for Mikey, Praise for Shiranne" I'll start with the fact that I made it sound like I'm constantly depressed now aday, which isn't true.
I've actually got two emotions that keep ovvvuring in my head recenly.....
OH GOD IS LIFE EVER GOOD TO ME!!! Unlimited long-distance phone calls! an actual ROOM! I get to come back to Paly!!!
No! I hate myself! I hate the way I turn into a bubbling fool when I'm embarassed, I hate the way that I get embarassed extremely easily, I hate the way I hate myself, I hate the way my mind works ect
So, yeah....
Hey, at least it's not CONSTANT depression!

 

by fzh
9-06-03
You know, I was going to use this to comment that I shouldn't have assumed that I had similar effects on Shiranne....
....but then she came up to me in the hall and asked me if I minded if she loved me madly for the series, so I guess I hit the nail on the head.
Not like that.

 

by fzh
9-06-03
So, I thought I would discuss my least favorite emotion, love.
Yes, my LEAST favorite. I love reduces me to a shy bumbling fool. I hate myself as a bumbling fool.
Arg! Why must I love? Why? I could tell her, but I'm too damn STUPID! Ugh.

 

by fzh
9-06-03
Love lifts my heart up,
just so that it can make the
fall down so much worse!

 

by fzh
9-09-03
Well now. After a series of events over the past few days, I no longer feel bad about love.
Yellow is the color of the cheese chimp.
Yes, that's right. I'm feeling better. But it's still a really awkward love.
But, until I get some answers I am no longer depressed about my situation.
And I' m not feeling dumb enough to go seeking answers right now that I savor the lack of pain. Let the answers come to me, or let me wait until I feel ready for them being negative.

 

by fzh
9-09-03
The four lovers quarrel
Why are you all making fun of me? Leave me alone, you puppet you!
You makin' fun of my height? I'll show you! I'm still tall enough to scrach your eyes out!
Leave her alone midget! We don't wan't you here! I love Helena now!
Shut the hell up! Helena is MINE! I challenge you to a duel!
Meanwhile, Titania has fallen in love with an ass.
I, the fairy queen, do love thee.
Mental note, chicks dig donkey heads.

 

by fzh
9-10-03
Oh god, there's that Nick guy who was stalking me a few years ago.
Why is he staring at me like that?
He he, I win.

 

by fzh
9-12-03
I'm gonna go make a comic!
You have an online comic? That's awesome!
See, and look at this one....
This is so funny, you made this?
Yep, here's you.
WTF? That's the ugliest thing I've ever seen! you die now!

 

by fzh
9-12-03
Why can't I look like this?
That's Kyle.
Then why not this?
That's Tony.
Damnit! How about like this?
I refuse to have a satan spawn as one of the based-on-real-people characters in my comic!

 

by fzh
9-12-03
You can be Cthulhu!
Ooh! Cthulhu! Gimme Gimme!
There you go.
Omygod, it's hideous!
Okay then, it's spankling for you!
I hate you so damn much!

 

by fzh
9-14-03
Yo know my brother reads your comic.
really? His name's Andre, right? I rember because It's just like my sister's name without an a at the end.
Yep, see he saw me looking at it, and he started reading it himself. He thinks the Squeeky moose one is a classic.
You mean the one where I pranked Mikey's stepmom? Yep, true story. I'll write acomic for your brother.
ANDRE!!!! GIVE ME YOUR SOUL OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!!!!

 

by fzh
9-14-03
Hey! All you prepubecent people who just happen to be reading this, I'm here to tell you the truth.
Don't listen to your teachers! They lie! Your biggest problem will NOT be Drugs or Sex.
I'm here to make you D.A.R.E. to think outside the box!

 

by fzh
9-14-03
Drugs: No ones ever offered drugs to me. I've never had to "Just say No"
Sex: OMG, I'm like Uber-Virgin. I mean, I've never had a girlfriend, I've never even French Kissed a girl before.
The farthest I've gotten with a girl was when I kissed Yuka in the airport leaving Japan. And since I'm NEVER GOING TO SEE HER AGAIN, I doubt I'll lose my virginity to her.

 

by fzh
9-14-03
"So what are the problems you face?" you're asking, right? Well...To tell the truth: acne and persperation.
So, In conclusion, An anti-drug mindset and a condom are NOT your best defense against the troubles of being a teenager...A Stick of deoderant and some acne wash are.
But then again, I'm not a girl, so I've never had to face menstration. That has GOT to suck.

 

by fzh
9-16-03
I have just heard from Forest, and guess what!
What?
He's joined your ranks Mr. Pimp! Forest is a pimp!
Tite yo! Shout out to mah hommie Forest!
Time for the "My anus is bleeding" celebrations!
True dat homes.

 

by fzh
9-16-03
Nicl makes Freakadave jokes...
Dear God my anus is bleeding!
These guys party. The hick sings about Nick's dad.
He's the Good Will Bandit!! BANDIT! Gotta steal for a bottle of beer!

 

by fzh
9-16-03
Look here he is now!
What up bro?
Hail Forest! Resident Pimp! I gotz some pimp clothes for you!
I'm no pimp. Kill me please.
.......shit.
My Heart! It hurts!

 

by fzh
9-16-03
dis is waked homes!
Yes...Well, I guess that's that...
Blarg! Ya'll killin' me brudah!
Let's just dispose of the evidence
Remember, none of this ever happened.

 

by fzh
9-17-03
Hey Mikey!
Hey. Call Kyle.
I called him a little earlier, I think he's online.
OK, go tell him to get off then.
Kyle, get off now, I want to three-way you and Mikey.
That's just wrong Forest. That's just wrong.

 

by fzh
9-21-03
Mikey: So then she said "Oh, hi!" and it had been so long since I saw her that I jumped like three feet in the air.
YOUR MOM jumped three feet in the air!
YOUR FACE jumped three feet in the air!
Forest: IN BED!
WITH SHEETS!
Kyle: HHHHHOOOOO!!!!!

 

by fzh
9-21-03
....And then Amos Chu told the people to write "rosutedo nattsu" up on the board...
Mikey: ....Because if you have a never ending fire burning a wolf it would forever be a fire elemental wolf of death...
Kyle: ....and Nick got hella pissed off at Brook and started yelling at him....
....then then I told them "this is government property, I have every right to sit on the sidewalk"...
....and then I started shooting at the guys I was trying to rescue....
Forest: ....and I accidently left my basket in the cave and I was out of stamina and I had to go dig again after midnight to get it back....

 

by fzh
9-21-03
OK, so you show up in the town, what do you do next?
Kyle: I go to the inn.
Ok, so your in the inn, and the inn keeper isn't there, but you run into this weird old lady...
and Imp Masta drops down from the sky and starts using his mad DJ-ing skillz..
I use "summon cat hair" on Imp Masta
Mikey: And a giant frog falls on Imp Masta's head. || Forest: But Imp Masta uses the power of cheese to come back to life and runs off into the distance!

 

by fzh
9-23-03
So, on the first day of school, I was on the phoen with my sister in college telling her what I had...
And I have 3rd period Business law...I'm gonna drop that next semester...
Why? You're in it for the credits, right?
Yeah, but I already have 5 from Foods last year.
I still think you should just sit it out. It can't be that bad. Who's your teacher?
Umm....Mr. Ohara.
DROP. THAT. CLASS. NOW!

 

by fzh
9-23-03
You can tell Mr. Ohara got layed last night. He's so perky.
Yeah, he's probably like "Hey honey. Come on! We haven't done it in ages and this lawyer porn is getting boring"
He He, Lawyer porn.
Hey man, make fun of Asians again.
Herro, My neim is Ching chong chang chong ching chang chong
Dude. It's so true.

 

by fzh
9-23-03
Briney set up a gun to protect his property, Katko opened the door that triggered the gun....
I'm just gonna break into this old abandoned house to steal antique bottles....
Ow! My leg! Briney, you suck!
No you suck.
And the judge said....
Briney, fork over your cash.
But....but.....HE BROKE INTO MY HOUSE!

 

by fzh
9-23-03
ack in seventh grade....
*brutally asking moderately difficult math question to try to prove that Forest is dumb*
*cleverly answering correctly*
If you're so good at math, then what's this: The number of pimples on your face time the number of bottles of bleach you used to get that hair color.
That would be zero. I don't count my pimples, but anything times zero is zero.
I think you heard me wrong I said the number of PIMPLES on your FACE times the number of bottles of BLEACh in your HAIR.
Just...go away. You're stupidity is hurting my head.

 

by fzh
9-24-03
El Chupacabra!
All these little goblin like things came a steppin' outa the night!
I was driving in my car when I saw bright lights and felt myself floating....
Then I pull out mah shotgun and started a'shootin' at the lil' devils!
And they did all knids of kinky tests on me! <3
My poor goats!!!

 

by fzh
9-24-03
Hey Mikey! You ever notice how all the people the aliens mess with are idiots? Why do you think that is?
That's not true! I was abducted before!
later...
Hey Kyle! You ever notice how all the people the aliens mess with are idiots? Why do you think that is?

 

by fzh
9-24-03
Darn! The humans might realize we're here! How do we cover it up?
easy. We give them the evidence, but we give it to their idiots and their liars.
Liars, eh? Good Idea, that way none of the normal humans will realize we're here, go get me some liars right now!
Right on it captain!
Later....
MIKEY! Time for your monthly check-up!
No! No! Not the probing! Not the probing!!!

 

by fzh
9-28-03
You know what irks me? When you type a lot, and I mean a lot, like a paragraph. And then after you've typed it it like screws up the entire comic....you'll see, I'm doing this on purpose so you can...
And those HIDEOUS default panels! I shudder evertime I go to make a comic.
The worst part about this is the store....It's evil...
Oh, and they have like no ethinic minoritys or women, It's nearly all white guys.
And the lack of emotions. I'm either sad, on the computer, or pointing crazily at soemthing. But....I like stripceator. It's fun, I just had writers-block.

 

by fzh
9-30-03
I happy, I'm in love!
I'm in love too, and I think she likes me.
I think you're delusional. ou thought Kaitlyn liked you, and the only thing you've provided as proof that Liz likes you is that....*gasp* she looked at you! But I'm too happy to make fun of you!
But...You just did!
QUITE YOU!

 

by fzh
9-30-03
Godzilla, Godzilla series
I'm a sock puppet, fear my lazer breath.
The T-Rex, Jurrasic Park
ROAR!
Oh shit.
Sara's Dad, The Land Before Time
Hey! You Duckbeak! What the hell do you think you're doing? You're inferior to us Three-horns. Why the hell do you think you have any right to even come this near me? Get the hell out of my sight!!

 

by fzh
10-01-03
Oo, email from Shiranne...and it's about my comic!
you wrote quite instead of quiet.
QUITE YOU!
Goddamn it, not again!

 

by fzh
10-04-03
Hey Forest, what's up?
Check it out Kyle! New images! Kaddar 2!
And....
And? It's just so beautiful! What and do you need? I think I'm going to go into the coner and cry with happiness! I think I've decide what to use for my sister....
Hi, I'm Andrea!
EVIL PIXIE!!!!!

 

by fzh
10-04-03
Woo, That class period of Shakspeare/Caucer was great.
Yeah it was, Hey look, there's Amos and Heather.
Oh, Hi Amos.
Hey Devin...
You're my bitch, you know that Amos.
Umm..WHAT?

 

by fzh
10-04-03
Now Hold on just a minute there buddy! That's not right!

 

by fzh
10-04-03
Please just ignore the other one, I hit send before I was finished...
Now hold on a minute there, that just aint right!
Why not, he IS my Bitch.
If Amos is anyone's bitch he's MY bitch.
HEY!

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