All comics by graykane

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by graykane
2-05-04
Ughff
Ok. I'll teach you the ways of the ninja.

 

by graykane
2-05-04
Ok. I'll teach you the ways of the cross.

 

by graykane
2-05-04
Donchya love me no more?
Ughff
I have to stop listening to Green Day.

 

by graykane
2-06-04
Tell me about San Francisco.
Hardcore dykes like us just don't get no respect.
Oh yeah, does that feel nice?

 

by graykane
2-06-04
Your knee is so soft.

 

by graykane
2-08-04
Something in me cries for you. It feels too real this time. I think I love you, though I don't know what that means: the girl of my dreams, or a friend who one day leaves. Could I trust this?
Well, I've lied to myself before. Would I do it all again? *NODS AND SAYS TO SELF* To taste what I've been after-- patiently waiting.
Look what I've become. This pressure that we feel. In world of possible dreams, this may not prove wrong. Could we give enough, when backed against a wall-- too close to breathe, too far to fall.
All I've ever wanted was to feel you closer to me, but it's sad to see this resistance, what once before had felt so free. Let tomorrow be. I can't be so impatient, pushing every answer...
...when there isn't any question. Let me feel good now, though this may have to end. I hope I'm always with you, honestly your friend. I think I love you.
Are you going through a midlife crisis, mister? *CHEWS GUM* You should buy a Porche. I want to be a photographer, or maybe even a writer when I grow up. Let's start a jazz band.

 

by graykane
2-09-04
Amish Joe tells his adopted son to find Luke, who lives on the beach in Tuscan, to see what sort of trade the boy can learn with him.
Luke a tha tusks on tha batch. See whachu kin do wis 'em.
Amish Joe realizes he has to kill the boy tonight in his sleep to spare the Lord of more earthly demons.
I can make a mask out of them.

 

by graykane
2-09-04
Mouhahaha, ce n'est pas vraiment moi.
You know I don't understand a lick of what you're saying, but I must say, I love uncircumsized men.
Je vous promet d'apparaitre bientôt.
Hey, man, I love your cheese!
Maman j'ai envie de pipi.
I don't think illegal aliens are allowed this close to the White House, especially since you didn't support the Iraq war. Let me see your greencard. I'm going to have to call INS.

 

by graykane
2-09-04
Welcome to Tinny Tim's Impractical Jokes and Gesticulations. I'm Tinny Tim, and this is my assistant Hal.
Yo.
This week, Little Lenny & Aluminum Al set up hidden cameras in an airplane to catch the passengers' expressions when they blew open the cabin. Boy, don't they look surprised.
Hi, Mom.
I can't look.
That's okay, Hal. No Androids were hurt during the making of this prank. Did you see the look on that guy in the background? That was hilarious. Be sure to tune in next week when we de-rail a train.

 

by graykane
2-10-04
Oh, thanks for coming down here, Jesus. I'm getting so bored with my own sense of style. You know that show where the neighbors switch homes and redecorate each other's places and then switch back?
Trading spaces? I love that show!
It's so peaceful.

 

by graykane
2-10-04
i just learned that nambla is not a southpark creation, that it has a political forum, that it's judith butler for catholic priests.
i'll never be able to look at left-wing politics again.
they believe that women, african americans, native americans, gays, pedophiles, & other marginalized identities should unify: a vote for women's rights is a vote for pedophilia in their eyes.
that's it: i'm voting for Bush.
i wonder how they feel about fisting puppets.
Murderers are marginalized, too.

 

by graykane
2-12-04
I give you the power to say one word.
Ah fuck, why won't you say it?

 

by graykane
2-12-04

 

by graykane
2-12-04
Bienvenidos a Bull Burger. Can I take your order, por favor? Would you like to try a combo meal?
You look so depressed. Let me take you away from all this.
¡Joder! "¿Que coño está pasando? Where am I?
You were always in hell. I just removed the facade.
OK. I'll have a number 2, with Chimichanga Chips & a Diet Coke. Oh, and supersize that. And let me get an ice-cream burrito supreme with Chalupa Chocolate. That's all. To go, please.

 

by graykane
2-13-04
Your source code is leaking.

 

by graykane
2-13-04
Welcome to Holy Burger. Would you like to try a Heavenly Combo?
You look so depressed. Let me take you away from all this.
Oh my, where am I?
You were always dealing with bull. I simply removed the facade.
OK, I'll have a Salvation Sausage with an order of supersized Faith Fries, oh, and a Diet Coke. Oh yeah, and a Crucifix Crumb Cake. That's all. To go, please.

 

by graykane
2-13-04
Welcome to Hell's Hamburgers. Would you like to try a combo meal?
You look so depressed. Let me take you away from all this.
Look, buddy. Are you going to order, or are you just going to "hang around" all day? Nevermind. While you figure out what you want, I'm going to help the next person in line... Next!

 

by graykane
2-14-04
Begin the Clone War it has. Interrupted Christmas. Hehehehe. Present here for you I bring, young Annie.
I'm going to be the most powerful Brownie of the whole troop. I'll be able to stop death.
Her abilities have made her too impetuous.
Troop Leader, the rest of the Brownie Knights are awaiting your orders.

 

by graykane
2-14-04
I love you.
I love you, too, but why does Valentine's Day always look like Halloween to me?
You're not really here, are you. In reality, I'm alone in my room talking to myself, aren't I.
Yeah, I guess that's true. So, is that why Valentine's Day looks so much like Halloween?
Well, it's scary being alone on Valentine's Day, especially since the ghosts of past lovers can haunt you, but don't worry, honey, I'll protect you... Honey?

 

by graykane
2-14-04
Scientists cloned us for stem-cell research. Isn't that right, #397?
That's correct, #592. We were designed not to mature past the 11th week of cell division, but as with most initial scientific projects, they fucked up.
Hey, I'm #592! And stop complaining, because they're straightening out their mistake right now with this new experiment. Just keep walking into that room.
I hope one of us was smart enought to bring a shiv.
I hope you like lamb, Doc, because something tells me you're about to get shanked. Beware the Ides of March, motherfucker.
That's right, my pets. One by one, step into the machine. I wonder which DNA strand initializes the desire for ominous last words. I should make a note to remove that gene.

 

by graykane
2-14-04
Hmm, I wonder who left that wet pink satin panty for me to slip on.
This is actually a really difficult question since I live alone and have never had a girlfriend while living here. Hello? Is there somebody here? Please? I won't be angry. Would you like a beer?

 

by graykane
2-15-04
Oh yeah, I’ll tell you something, I think you'll understand. When I'll say that something, I want to hold your hand. I want to hold your hand. I want to hold your hand.

 

by graykane
2-15-04

 

by graykane
2-15-04

 

by graykane
2-15-04

 

by graykane
2-15-04

 

by graykane
2-15-04

 

by graykane
2-15-04

 

by graykane
2-15-04

 

by graykane
2-15-04

 

by graykane
2-15-04
I am Edward Scissor Hands 2000.

 

by graykane
2-15-04
Not you. The other guy.
Okay, you desert dung fly. On the count of three, draw.
One... Two...

 

by graykane
2-15-04
I'm done entertaining these fuckers.
Woof woof.

 

by graykane
2-15-04
If you tell anyone, I'll deny it.
I don't know what it is, but you have something else in there already.
That wasn't really your thingy, was it?

 

by graykane
2-15-04

 

by graykane
2-15-04
You look kind of like Robin Williams.
I ain't never been with a black woman before. I'm usually not into the whole ethnic thing.
Oh great, I ordered a call girl, and they sent me Jar Jar Binks.

 

by graykane
2-15-04
Good morning, world. I love you.

 

by graykane
2-15-04

 

by graykane
2-16-04
What is this? A bloody competition?

 

by graykane
2-16-04
Presents!
Presents!
You can't tempt me. I'm strong. I can resist you.
Presents!
Presents!

 

by graykane
2-16-04
I never noticed before how pretty you are.

 

by graykane
2-16-04
Rock On Mutherfucker Yeeaaaaargh!!!

 

by graykane
2-16-04
You need a breast exam. I felt a lump.
I've had more fun inserting myself into large empty rooms.
Next time, just drop off the toy. It works better if I do it alone.

 

by graykane
2-16-04
Yikes, did you need lube!!!
I think something broke off.
That had to be the worm virus: whatever you gave me didn't feel big enough to call this sex.

 

by graykane
2-16-04
I can't stop staring at your tits.
No, don't go!!! ...Ah shit, I think my eyes are stuck.
Are you trying to look at my tits?

 

by graykane
2-16-04
SECRET ADMIRER ACCORDING TO NOVELS AND HOLLYWOOD
"...Birds peel back their wings/To banana about like bra-less fruit/While I, like the sun, long to crawl beneath your curtains/To be alone with you in your room/To scream buttercream cries..."
"...And make raspberry love/Until blue/Sweet blue." I've committed your poem to memory. Until now, I didn't know you wrote it, but after finding it, I fell in love with you through your words.
SECRET ADMIRER ACCORDING TO REALITY
"...Birds peel back their wings/To banana about like bra-less fruit/While I, like the sun, long to crawl beneath your curtains/To be alone with you in your room/To scream buttercream cries..."
Don't touch me. I've got a gun. You're violating the restraining order I had put on you after you left all those creepy letters in my stuff. I'm going to prosecute you until you're in jail, you freak.
THE LESSON WE'VE LEARNED
I LIKE DONGS
I LIKE WANGS

 

by graykane
2-17-04

 

by graykane
2-17-04
help

 

by graykane
2-17-04
Jocasta...
Moments Later...
Is that my conscience I hear? Don't tell me. She's dead, isn't she.
Oh Eddie, you old puss, I am who you once were. Know that the Queen, your wife, my mother, Jocasta, from shame now lieth thorned in the eye, clipped from life, and red like the roses.
Antigone, if Jocasta thinks I'm going to stab out my eyes and wander the earth like a wretch, she's got another thing coming, and as for you, my darling, I've already fucked one relative.
I like wangs!

 

by graykane
2-17-04
Euripedes, the sheep are Siamese if you please.
No, Sophocles, the appropriate term now is "conjoined."
Doc, my friend Euripedes and I have a pair of conjoined twins.
Gee, that's redundant. But don't worry, my sheep-loving friend, leave progress to me.
progress

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