All comics by kane2742

Profile

 

by kane2742
11-08-07
Discussing Economics
Now onto bartering. For instance, if I had two chickens you wanted, you might trade me -
Two other chickens!
N-no. I don't think you're getting how this works.
Four chickens!

 

by kane2742
11-08-07
Why'd you ever decide to become a vegetarian? I love burgers.
Meat just seems gross to me. Kind of like eating human flesh would be to you.
Thanks for ruining my sandwich for me.
Can I have the rest? I feel hungry all of a sudden.

 

by kane2742
11-09-07
Well, um, uh, y'know, it's kind of - it's kind of like, I mean...
...of course, it's, y'know, basically, well, it's kind of like, um, uh, it's pretty much - pretty much, uh...
Never mind.

 

by kane2742
11-09-07
It's like, did you ever see, uh, the Lord of the Rings movies?
Yeah...
There's this one part where, um, the - where the Orcs are attacking...
And that relates to Oedipus Rex because...?
Who said anything about Oedipus Rex?
Everyone in the class but you.

 

by kane2742
11-09-07
How's Jimmy?
He's been hitting the bottle pretty hard lately.
Haven't you, Jimmy?

 

by kane2742
11-09-07
I don't feel good, Dr. Pedantic.
You mean you don't feel well.
No, "feeling well" refers to physical health. I'm depressed.
Suicidal?
No, but I'm starting to feel a little homicidal.

 

by kane2742
11-10-07
Having the name Kane exposes you to all sorts of "funny" jokes.
Jokes about Cain and Abel, walking sticks...
...candy canes, sugar cane, hurricanes...
...and references that I don't get because I don't watch wrestling.
It gets pretty annoying, Dick.
Tell me about it.

 

by kane2742
11-10-07
Hey, Kane. How's Abel?
Never heard that one before.
Am I my brother's keeper?
Uhh...what?
Nothing, just demonstrating which of us is cleverer.

 

by kane2742
11-10-07
Are you the animal prostitute?
I'm more specialized; all my clients are young goats.
Not bunnies?
No. Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids.

 

by kane2742
11-10-07
Q: How much will a defective teleporter cost you?
A: An arm and a leg.

 

by kane2742
11-10-07
On a class's male/female ratio:
I do have a penis.
Discussing Superman and Lois Lane:
It's supersex!
Misquoting the "Shaft" theme song:
Big black dick!
It's a good thing he doesn't teach grade school

 

by kane2742
11-10-07
Children's TV shows are made by perverts.
What makes you say that?
Pee Wee Herman for one thing. Plus, look at some of the names, like Barney's "friend" BJ...
Don't forget that guy on Mr. Rogers with the child molester name.
Yeah! Mr. McFeely!

 

by kane2742
11-10-07
You put on your power ring to watch "The Daily Show"
I'm Jon Stewart.
*applause*
You think of Oliver Queen when you see a "Left Turn on Green Arrow" Sign
"In brightest day, in blackest night"
That's Green Lantern again, dumbass.
You have a fanboy fit when you see certain animals.
Look, a black canary! A wolverine! A bat, man!
This is why nerds shouldn't go outside.

 

by kane2742
11-11-07
Look, someone's doing "the walk of shame." Why's it called that, anyway? I'd be proud to finally get some.
Think about the women who would have sex with you.
Ohhhhhh.

 

by kane2742
11-11-07
I'm surprised no one's made a Family Guy parody for this reminiscing contest.
Yeah. Remember that time I had a random Family Guy-style flashback?
You never did that, your "flashback" has nothing to do with anything, and it's not funny.
So I did it right, then?

 

by kane2742
11-11-07
RAAAR!

 

by kane2742
11-11-07
Raaaar! Tobor will cornhole you!
Whoa, that's not right! I'd better take you in for repairs.
Later...
RAAAAR! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!
That's better.

 

by kane2742
11-11-07
Hey Doc, Tobor's been acting kind of strange since you took him in for repairs.
Is he still yelling at people?
Yeah, that part's fine, but I think they messed up something in his language unit.
How so?
RAAAAR! CORNHOLE WILL TOBOR YOU!

 

by kane2742
11-12-07
Whatcha playin'?
The usual...
Space Invaders.

 

by kane2742
11-12-07
Now it's time to test my latest invention: an instant weight loss machine.
Why do I have to test it? I'm thin enough.
Because I'm not that stup-... Uh, I mean, it only works for women. Get in.
Okay...
Later...
I think we left you in there a bit too long.
No shit.

 

by kane2742
11-12-07
Okay, I think I got the kinks worked out of my weight loss machine.
Kinks?
Never mind that. In you go.
All right...
Later...
How do I look?
Like a movie star! ...Lara Flynn Boyle.

 

by kane2742
11-12-07
I've had all sorts of experiences I could tell you about.
Have you ever had a threesome?
Yep. With twins.
Awesome.

 

by kane2742
11-12-07
Remember that time you were supposed to watch my kids?
No...
Neither do they.

 

by kane2742
11-12-07
ARRRRR!!! I'll try to do better next time, Mr. Feldman. It's hard to go from piratin' to retail.
Well, see that you do, Roger. And this is the last time I'm going to remind you about wearing a tie.
ARRRRR!!! Enough about the damn tie already!
Gee, you don't seem very jolly, Roger.
You did not just go there.
Totally did.

 

by kane2742
11-12-07
... ♫ With a rebel yell, she cries... ♫
♫ Moh! ♫
♫ Moh! ♫
♫ Moh! ♫
♫ Moh, moh, moh! ♫

 

by kane2742
11-12-07
♫... I can't get any satisfaction... ♫
It's "I can't get no satisfaction."
Well, it should be "any." Now, on to my next song...
♫ We don't need any education... ♫

 

by kane2742
11-13-07
When I was on the outside, I thought that I was stickin' it to The Man.
Now that I'm in jail, The Man's stickin' it to me.
"The Man" is what my cellmate makes me call him.

 

by kane2742
11-13-07

 

by kane2742
11-13-07
Would you like to join our new student worship group?
Not really...
Why would anyone want to worship students, anyway?

 

by kane2742
11-13-07
Hey there, sexy. Let's go back to my room; I have a bottle of blue pills and video camera with your name on it.
And people think I'm a dog.

 

by kane2742
11-13-07
How was your day?
Weird. This guy came in before, sat down, did absolutely nothing, then left.
No shit?
No shit.

 
by kane2742, 11-13-07

 

by kane2742
11-14-07
Did you hear about that bear from up north who's running for president?
Yeah. He seems to want to make everyone act just like him and his species.
I don't think he has a chance of winning, though.
Neither do I...
He's too polarizing.

 

by kane2742
11-14-07
And then the fucking jerk told me to fucking die but, fucking...
Did you just say "butt fucking"?
I'm gonna kick your fucking ass.
"Fucking ass," again, huh? You'd love prison.

 

by kane2742
11-14-07
What's up with that creepy Dave guy who's always muttering?
I don't know. He stares at me all the time.
And he spends way too much time alone in his room.
Yeah. I wonder what he does in there all day...
Isn't Dave cool? He's so good at everything and not at all creepy.
Yes, he is cool. And I also find him sexually irresistible.

 

by kane2742
11-14-07
What does Jim do all day? He doesn't do his homework, but I hardly ever see him outside his dorm room.
Let's just say he spends a lot of time typing one-handed.
Ohhhhhh...
Hunt-and-pecker, huh?
You got part of that right.

 

Hey there, sexy. Let's go back to my room; I have a bottle of blue pills and video camera with your name on it.
And people think I'm a dog.
by kane2742, 11-14-07

 

by kane2742
11-14-07
What's wrong?
I think I'm gonna get fired for sexual harassment.
What'd you do?
Mary was hanging a new bulletin board and ran out of nails, so I offered something else to help.
What's wrong with that?
My exact words were, "Wanna screw?"

 

by kane2742
11-14-07
Did you hear that archaeologists have uncovered fossilized human feces from the time and place that Christ lived?
Holy shit!
Quite possibly.

 

by kane2742
11-14-07
So how did you like Oedipus Rex in Classical Lit.?
Oedipus seemed kind of slow.
How so?
I thought that he should have figured out sooner that he killed his dad and slept with his mom.
Yeah. He is kind of a stupid motherfucker.
Literally.

 

Man, you are the shit!
by kane2742, 11-14-07

 

by kane2742
11-14-07
Internet porn sure can be weird.
Okay...
Look, I found this fetish site where two guys who look like the Son of God take turns sodom- izing each other.
Jesus fucking Christ!
Exactly.

 

by kane2742
11-14-07
Gee, Kane, you sure have had a lot of scatalogical humor lately.
I blame work and school.
Why's that?
They put me in a shitty mood.

 

by kane2742
11-14-07
So is all this dirty humor a new direction for you or just temporary?
I think I'll be done after today. It's just a phase. Like Picasso.
I don't think Picasso...
Yeah. I'm going through my "Blue" period.

 

by kane2742
11-14-07
Honey, I think you should see this.
What's the problem?
I think I just miscarried a Smurf.

 
by kane2742, 11-14-07

 

by kane2742
11-14-07
Butt
Cock
Ass
Pussy
Dog Balls

 
by kane2742, 11-14-07

 

by kane2742
11-14-07
I was with my boyfriend last night and things went pretty badly.
The night started off alright, but then I didn't know what to say.
Part of me was thinking, "I want to have sex with you."
Another part was thinking, "I want to have your babies."
What came out of my mouth completely ruined the night.
I said, "I want to have sex with your babies."

 

by kane2742
11-14-07
...then the guy gets back on the phone and says, "OK, now what?"
HA HA HA HA HA!
That's some funny shit.

Showing page 2.

« Previous Next »