All comics by mutster101

 

by mutster101
12-11-05
I wonder, have you got a copy of I Just Called To Say I Love You by Stevie Wonder. It's for my daughter
1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10...
There's a Blockbuster next door. Go rent High Fidelity then we'll talk about it

 

by mutster101
12-11-05
Cor, is this really the Record Store
Looks like
I have to say, I'm quite liking the Record Store strip
You like a strip? Are you feeling okay? I can call the vet if need be
Of course, if he keeps just rehashing other people's jokes it'll get old really quickly
Don't encourage him, please

 

by mutster101
12-11-05
You look lost
Well, we all are, aren't we?
I prefer to think of us as mislaid. But you look... well, lost
I'd imagine that'll be my dark and tortured past
I figured as much. I'm in a band, you know
Even the penguin knows that

 

by mutster101
12-11-05
What do you think about the Butler, mighty Cthulhu?
Well, apart from the books I read, which you dismissed as circumstantial, there's nothing to suggest he did it
I agree. That being said, his evasiveness is suspicious, mighty Cthulhu
Highly suspicious. He has steadfastly avoided answering a simple question
We could bring him in for questioning. See what our trained interrogator can get from him
I thought we liked our trained interrogator

 

by mutster101
12-12-05
You do understand the seriousness of this situation, don't you?
I appreciate the gravity of these circumstances, possibly moreso than you do
Where were you when the deceased was, um, deceased?
Again, you ask me a ridiculous question, when it is obvious that I will say I was nowhere in the vicinity, regardless...
Hours later...
Please, I'll do anything... I'll even sign a confession to say I did it... just don't make me go back in there

 

by mutster101
12-12-05
Excuse me, do you have the new Depeche Mode album?
Well, we've got it... But it sucks
Really?
No. I was quoting Kids In The Hall, for giggles like
Kids in the who?

 

by mutster101
12-12-05
Kids in the Hall was a classic comedy skit show
What, like Little Britain?
Leave my shop now

 

by mutster101
12-12-05
I wish to complain about this parrot I bought not half an hour ago from this very boutique
Ah, sorry, you'll be wanting the Python-esque Pet Store. That's two doors down
Oh, sorry. Thanks
Sometimes I wish I'd been a lumberjack

 

by mutster101
12-13-05
Hello little girl, would you like to see some puppies?
Only if you fuck us after

 

by mutster101
12-14-05
Daddy! Duh duh duh Daddy! Duh duh...
Daddy rushes downstairs...
Darling! Our little bundle of joy just said 'Daddy'
Oh! Another nice word! The little dear!
Seconds later...
Duh duh duh duh... Dental Dam!

 

by mutster101
12-15-05
bumm bum bummmm bum bum bum bum
That's a very happy song you're singing
bumm bum bummmm bum bum bum bum
bum love

 

by mutster101
12-15-05
Hand over the contents of the till
No
I'll shoot
The question you've got to ask yourself is, will you be able to shoot me before I get the Crazy Frog CD playing? Do you feel lucky, punk?
Curses! Foiled again!

 

by mutster101
12-18-05
I'd have thought you'd have Christmas Decorations up by now
I have. Nizlopi will be Christmas Number One, therefore the Nizlopi posters are Christmas Decs
What if Westlife are Christmas Number One?
If Westlife are Christmas Number One I'll burn my guitar and take up the kazoo
This'll be interesting

 

by mutster101
12-20-05
Hey there beautiful
Now you're hitting on me? Is everyone here chronically over-sexed?
Nope. Undersexed. That's the point
I'm not
You're not?
My luggage survived the crash, and I found a stash of batteries

 

by mutster101
12-20-05
I hear you have a stash of batteries
What if I do?
I want to buy some off you
It'll cost you
Sorry, you're not my type
In FOOD

 

by mutster101
12-21-05
I'm looking for an original pressing of the 12" of Blue Monday by New Order
You'll be lucky. Even if I did have a copy of it, it would cost more than you earn in a year
Hmmm. Strictly speaking that's true, but I don't earn because I don't work. Daddy's minted, see?
Oh really? Is your mother still around, or is Daddy single now?

 

by mutster101
12-21-05
The island suddenly seems to be rife with speculation about my sexuality
Is that a bad thing?
Half the island seem to think I have a thing for penguins, others think I'm gay...
I don't think you're gay
You're aware how much of a lame pick-up line that was, I hope?
Sure am. Did it work?

 

by mutster101
12-21-05
I'm sorry to disappoint you. Even if you are the only person on the island who thinks I'm heterosexual, I'm not sleeping with you
Ohhh, so you are gay then? I knew it!
You really don't have a clue how to behave around women, do you?
Um...
Wait, you're not gay are you?
Oh, so now it's about me is it?

 

by mutster101
12-21-05
She blew you off, huh?
Yeah. I'd have settled for her blowing me
With wit like that, I'm not entirely surprised you didn't score
Oh, and how come you know so much about women?
Well, let's just say that the Discovery Channel hadn't met me before they told you penguins mate for life...
You are without doubt one of the scariest characters on this island

 

by mutster101
12-22-05
"It's Christmas Time, There's No Need To Be Afraid..."
HO! HO! HO!
But then...
You splatted Santa! The Universe is doomed!

 

by mutster101
12-22-05
So the chief let the Butler go?
Yeah. He said we'd blown the budget for interrogator counselling, mighty Cthulhu
But! There was an outside chance that the Butler was guilty! And he never denied it!
He never gave us reason to believe he was guilty either, mighty Cthulhu
But he was the Butler. Isn't that proof enough?
The scariest thing here, mighty Cthulhu, is that you're being deadly serious

 

by mutster101
12-22-05
We haven't spoken before
No, because I've been avoiding you. You look like an unsavoury type
I've got lots of stuff to sell. Interested?
What exactly do you expect me to pay with?
Well...
On second thoughts, forget I asked

 

by mutster101
12-22-05
Where exactly did you find all this stuff you're selling, anyway?
Under a rock?
A rock shaped like the wreckage of a passenger jet, was it?
What, you saw it too?
No, just a hunch
You know, you're pretty damn smart

 

by mutster101
12-22-05
Say I did fall for your sales pitch. What do you have that I might be interested in buying?
Perfume? Clean Underwear? Socks?
You'll have to do better than that
Penguin repellent?
Yes! I'll do anything. I'm yours. Take me now, take me hard
It's no fun if you don't haggle!

 

by mutster101
12-23-05
Hello there. I'm Lisa, and I run the Internet
You're probably thinking "Nobody runs the internet!" If not, maybe you're thinking "Service Providers keep the internet running". Sorry, you're wrong
It's not wires and bytes and ones and zeroes that keep the Internet running. It's drama and lulz

 

by mutster101
12-23-05
Lisa's not my real name of course, it's a pseudonym
It stands for Lovely, Intelligent, Sexy and All-seeing. I made it up myself
Of course, when I say 'All-seeing' what I really mean is I have a team of trained internet monkeys who tell me everything that's worth knowing about

 

by mutster101
12-30-05
Well, that was different
Different?
I just sold my body in exchange for some Penguin Repellent
You mean to tell me you fell for the line as well?
'As well'?
Not all of us have a secret stash of batteries you know. Girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do

 

by mutster101
10-10-06
What are you supposed to be?
I'm a Ninja. Weapon of the Night, and all that. And I'm mysterious. You don't know who's under the suit
Yeah, but all I have to do is wait
Oh yeah?
This suit sure is hot

 

by mutster101
10-12-06
I'll just wait until you overheat in that black suit. It's midday, shouldn't take long. Then I'll know who you are.
Eventually...
Dammit!
Wait. You're the penguin?
Hey there beautiful.

 

by mutster101
10-12-06
You're the mysterious ninja? But you're not ninja shaped!
And there's the small matter of the penguin repellent I'm wearing.
I have penguin repellent filters in my nostrils.
Penguin repellent filters? Ha! Next you'll be telling me you slept with that creep in order to get them!
Sssshhh! Don't tell everyone!

 

by mutster101
10-12-06
OK, so who hasn't slept with that creepy guy in exchange for stuff?
The Hunter. He doesn't need stuff. The Rock Kid. He's impotent.
Oh yeah. And the pregnant woman.
There's a pregnant woman? Here? On this island with us?
Dammit woman, where you been?

Showing page 2.

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