All comics by ookitarepanda

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by ookitarepanda
6-21-06
So Clang and I went out last night to the cemetery. I wasn't quite sure what business he'd have there, being a robot and whatever...
Great, I have to listen to another Clang story...
He had seen a guy earlier dumping some stuff in an open grave, so he wanted to check it out.
Is this such a good idea?
Buried treasure, Lester! This could be momentous!
Turns out some guy was trying to get rid of his collection of Joan Jett and Pat Benatar albums.
Was it, by chance, a shallow grave?

 

by ookitarepanda
6-30-06
Man, how long have we been waiting in this line?
Just coming up on five minutes now. Why?
It seems like every time I get in a line to get something simple, everyone ahead of me halves their mental processing speed.
You gotta give these clerks credit for putting up with all the slow people.
There's no one ahead of us, is there.
I was wondering when you'd notice that was just a mannequin.

 

by ookitarepanda
7-11-06
How are things with Anna these days? The cruise go okay?
Yeah, well, I met her parents after the cruise, and there may be some problems.
What do you mean?
Remember the last time I dated a girl whose dad's name was Richard?
So wait, your name is Dick Snorgler? Can I call you Dick, Dick?

 

by ookitarepanda
4-09-07
Alright, well we'll split up until the tourney starts, alright?
I don't know if you want to do that. People get angry when I come here.
Why? Because you beat all the little kids at your crappy Tekken games?
No, mostly because I pee on the machines to mark my territory.
I think we better stick together.
Excellent. I had asparagus at lunch! You're gonna love this.

 

by ookitarepanda
4-10-07
So how's Anna doing? Why isn't she with us?
Have you ever felt that whenever you see someone, all your thoughts and the words you speak de-evolve into something absolutely retarded?
I guess that's love. That's so cute, Lester!
Well I told her she was a yeast-crusted toothpaste-bubble when I meant to say "I love you."
That'd probably turn her off. I hope things get better between you two.
Oh there are no problems between us. She just stayed home because she hates arcade kids.

 

by ookitarepanda
4-11-07
So why are we here? What did you say was in this cave?
Oh you'll have to go farther in to see it.
I can't even see anything from here.
Just uh... keep lookin'.
To be continued...
First of all, how did I not see that coming? Secondly, didn't we take my car to get here?

 

by ookitarepanda
4-12-07
I might as well check this place out...
This place is pretty neat, albeit scaring the crap out of me.
Oh hey man, when did you get here?
I suppose Clang brought you here, too?
Yeah, but I pushed him off a cliff and chose to hide out in here. What brings you into this here cave?

 

by ookitarepanda
4-13-07
How the hell do we get out of here anyway? I think I'm lost...
Well maybe if we turned the hell around.
Is that your bright idea? You've got the navigational sense of a 4 year old girl!
I picture you more as the female between us anyway.
Okay. You never said that, alright?
Yeah. I probably owe you a burrito for that one.

 

by ookitarepanda
4-17-07
Alright! Looks like we found our way out!
Yeah, we better get home.
Think Clang is still around here somewhere??
Probably not. He probably made his way back home by now.
Where am I?

 

by ookitarepanda
4-18-07
Hey, can you get me change for a dollar?
I don't know who you are, but I guess... Let me check.
Sorry to bother you. I was just in the neighborhood and thought someone might be nice enough...
Well it looks like I have enough change in just nickels and dimes for eighty cents...
What about quarters?
I have a constitutional right not to give guys like you quarters.

 

by ookitarepanda
4-19-07
Can I take your order?
I need help. I think I'm a moth.
Excuse me? Shouldn't you be going to a psychiatrist? This is a Tacorama.
Oh, I know that.
So then why did you come in here?
The light was on.

 

by ookitarepanda
11-26-07
I wonder who's going to talk first...
Why do we always meet out here? And why is he not saying anything?
Well, I am on the left, so it would make sense for me to talk first...
If he's not going to say anything soon, I've got to come up with something clever...
So---
BUTTS!

 

by ookitarepanda
12-01-07
Sometime I'm going to have to tell you about my ladytype problem.
Ooh! Sounds like fun.
Except it wouldn't be a problem if I weren't retarded.
Retarded?
Wait, nevermind.

 

by ookitarepanda
12-29-07
So speaking of litter boxes and mountain dew...
We weren't talking about either.
I poured mountain dew in the cat's litter box. Cat thought there'd been a number of other kitties using his toilet.
And what made you decide to do this?
Little bastard needed to know what it was like sharing a bathroom, but I didn't have any long hairs to leave in his sink.
And afterwards did you two discuss your feelings?

 

by ookitarepanda
1-08-08
Dude, let's go to the bar!
No. Every time we go, you end up making some lame Star Wars joke and excuse it by saying it's Bar Wars.
Have you seen my beer? I think I set it down here when I went to the jukebox...
I thought you finished it already.
No, there was still good in him.

 

by ookitarepanda
1-09-08
It's pretty rad that this place brews its own beer. Remember when I tried to do it once and failed completely?
Dude, brew or brew not. There is no try.
Bar Wars, dude!

 

by ookitarepanda
1-11-08
Why are you still doing this Bar Wars crap?
Come on dude, I'm just a simple man, trying to make my way in the universe.
Okay, that was retarded. How many people have even seen Attack of the Clones enough to know that line? Is this your effort to make people watch that shit?
Sometimes there are things no one can fix.
Great, you've just sent a bunch of nerds to IMDB to figure out what the hell you're saying.
I don't like sand.

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