All comics by ookitarepanda

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by ookitarepanda
7-09-05
Hey Clang-Clang, what have you been up to?
Oh, you know. I've been working on repairing my penis attachment again. Gotta make it bigger to really impress people.
Right. I'm gonna get back to that. See ya later, Maura!

 

by ookitarepanda
7-10-05
Dude, Clang, check this out. I got this strange e-mail today...
Yeah, what is it?
Effing spam, again, but this one's odd. It says that if I send any mechanical part to this address they'll make a robot for me.
Sounds interesting!
Too bad nothing like that will work.
Man, I'm gonna miss that attachment...

 

by ookitarepanda
7-11-05
Hey, Lester man.
Oh, hey dude. What's up?
Kathy lied to me again, man. I just don't know what to do anymore...
It's alright, man. Let it all out.
There is no such thing as "20 Cent Taco Day" at Tacorama!
Man, that must have been harsh.

 

by ookitarepanda
7-11-05
So, did you get your robot yet?
Clang, I told you. That e-mail was fake.
Then why'd it have a mailing address, huh? Answer that!
You sent them your wang, didn't you...
To be continued...
What the hell is this...?

 

by ookitarepanda
7-12-05
The doorbell rings for Clang...
Oh, boy! That must be my robot!
Uh... you must be the guy. I'd make you pay for the robot but you are one sick fuck. Have fun with it, weirdo.
Thanks!
So... are you...? How do I put this... Are you a dude or a chick?

 

by ookitarepanda
7-13-05
So he ended up buying $20 worth of tacos!
Ha!
Wanna see my wangbot?

 

by ookitarepanda
7-14-05
Hey, Kathy! I'm back from my tournament!
Oh, hey. I've just been reading these funny palindromes online.
What the hell is a palindrome?
No, it's not.

 

by ookitarepanda
7-15-05
Hey, Lester, are you home?
Yeah! Come on in, dude!
Man, what have you been doing all day?
Checking out some music online. Like this one - it's indie meets synth rock. The name of the group is "Mobius Band."
Are they any good?
They're a bit repetitive.

 

by ookitarepanda
7-17-05
Old jokes never die.
What's a pirate's favorite letter? ARRRR!
What is the pirate movie rated? ARRRR!
What's a pirate's favorite element on the periodic table?
ARRRRRRRRgon? Heh, heh.
Some just don't understand 'em.
No, you idiot. Gold. We like gold.

 

by ookitarepanda
7-17-05
The boys are planning something mischievous...
Oh, man, this is gonna be sweet! I haven't TP'd anyone's house in ages!
Yeah! This is gonna be great! Jeremy won't know what hit him!
Yeah, like that time that we left photoshopped pictures on his doorstep of us french-kissing his mom! Ha!
Should've left him at home.
That wasn't us; that was you. And it wasn't his mom; it was yours.
Heh, I remember that now. Man, you should have seen the look on his face...

 

by ookitarepanda
7-19-05
Ok, so here's the plan. We have this newly bought package of 9 toilet paper rolls. All we do is run up and throw 'em over the tree and the house. Ok?
Wait, newly bought? I thought you had to use it first.
That's wrong on so many levels.

 

by ookitarepanda
7-19-05
Whoa, Clang, we didn't agree to bringing your wangbot with us.
Come on! He's a part of me!
Meep meep. Not anymore, I ain't. Meep meep.
Just... whatever, Clang. Make sure he doesn't get in any trouble.
Well that all depends on his mood, you see.
Meep meep. Ohhhhh yeah. Meep meep.

 

by ookitarepanda
7-20-05
Yesterday, a great man named James Doohan passed away. Some of you knew him as Scotty from Star Trek.
Where would we be without James Doohan? Maybe the Allies would have lost the war. Or maybe Star Trek wouldn't have been as popular.
A young Arnold Schwarzenegger as Scotty?
Nein, we haven't got the powah captain.
I think I just got the shivers.
I think I felt something warm in my pants.

 

by ookitarepanda
7-21-05
Damn, I'm hungry...
Well, why don't you go heat up those great leftovers from last night?
Incorrect response. Minus ten points.
Dang! I knew I should have gone with the "order a pizza" answer...

 

by ookitarepanda
7-22-05
Welcome to Tacorama, can I take your order?
Whoa! Lester! I didn't know you were working here!
Yeah, this is my second week on the job.
Man, if I had known, I would have held you at gunpoint for free food a while ago!
Gunpoint sure sounds nice right about now.
Ah, I see the food service industry has taken your soul already.

 

by ookitarepanda
7-24-05
Dude, check out that guy behind you. He's hardcore.
What the hell is "hardcore?"
Ohhh, hardcore...
So then Avenged Sevenfold came on the stage and everyone went nuts. Biggest pit I've ever been in.
We should probably leave before he tries to eat us and our children.
You're probably right. I'm not even sure it's human.

 

by ookitarepanda
7-28-05
What do you want, Clang?
Oh, I was just stopping by to see what you were working on!
Don't you have your own job to do?
Well, at a robot's efficiency, I finish 400% faster than you...
I bet that keeps a lot of women coming back.
I... don't understand. Is this about my attachment again?

 

by ookitarepanda
7-29-05
Oh, hey Lester, I was just leaving...
Damn, dude! What are you all dressed up for?
I actually have a job interview today. But I feel like I'm forgetting something... Don't you hate that feeling?
Yeah, I know what you mean. It's probably nothing. Well, good luck, dude!
What a great guy... I probably should have told him about his zipper.

 

by ookitarepanda
7-31-05
You alright? You don't look so good
I ran into the hardcore guy again today. He wanted me to listen to a CD of this local band, Eat Your Kittens.
How was it?
It was good! Seriously, you should totally buy the CD.
Knifepoint or gunpoint?
A bit of both.

 

by ookitarepanda
8-04-05
I figured out why our cat is such a dork.
And why's that?
He's EMO. I mean, think about it. He's overly independent. He whines all the time. He hates affection.
Makes sense, I guess...
Hates my music, poops in a sandbox...
Ok, I get it.

 

by ookitarepanda
8-05-05
Hey Jerry, what's up?
Have you seen Clang anywhere? I need him to do something for me.
He's probably off in his own happy land somewhere.
Alright... I guess I'll have to leave him a note, then.
Man, this place is sweet.
You're tellin' me!

 

by ookitarepanda
8-08-05
Hey, how'd that interview go?
Not well. I'm just gonna end up at that damn lab working with Clang every day.
Ooh! What happens when I press this button?
That was probably not a good thing. I'm sure Jerry won't mind.

 

by ookitarepanda
8-10-05
Tell me I'm pretty.
Uh... You're pretty.
Actually, I think I'm getting a bit chubby...
I guess so.
You're such an a-hole!
Minus 15 points... I should have stuck with the cute stuff.

 

by ookitarepanda
8-13-05
What can I get for you, duder?
Yeah, Lester, I'll have six bean burritos, two soft tacos, and a large vessel of refreshment.
Don't you get sick of getting the same thing every time you come here?
I'm a creature of habit, I guess.
That would explain your choice of clothing.
I swear, I have fifteen sets of this same outfit.

 

by ookitarepanda
8-15-05
This dream sucks.

 

by ookitarepanda
8-17-05
So tell me it wouldn't be cool to own some tumbleweed.
It wouldn't. What the hell are you talking about?
Seriously, dude! I could buy some on the interweb, and then throw it around when people aren't saying anything!
You always have the worst ideas, dude.

 

by ookitarepanda
8-19-05
Every once in a while, I find myself facing a conundrum.
And the hardest part is just explaining it to people.
Clang, do you ever wonder if there's more to life?
Most certainly not! I'm sure that you're just filled with angst and complaints about your present, crappy situation.
Well, I guess robots aren't really people.

 

by ookitarepanda
8-22-05
What are you so happy about?
Dude! I just met the most amazing girl.
She's cute, she's smart, and she's got her own comic shop!
Anything I can help you look for?
Oh, I already know what I want.
Dude... Tell me you didn't actually say that to her.
Yeah! She digs me - she even let me see her Volume Ones.

 

by ookitarepanda
8-31-05
Dude, where the hell have you been?
Hanging out with Anna.
What, the comic book store chick?
I told you that she digs me!
You've been gone for a week and a half.
Yeah... That reminds me I have to send an e-mail to my parents about that. How do you spell "Hawaii" or "fornication?"

 

by ookitarepanda
9-02-05
Dude, so I was going to have this solid plan last night, and then everything went wrong.
Oh yeah, you were saying you were gonna be doing some cool stuff.
Yeah, well guess what I actually did last night.
What, wanked it?
Ugh...
Man, Friday nights used to be so cool for you.

 

by ookitarepanda
9-04-05
Hey, Kathy, what's up?
Lester... I've got to ask. Have you noticed anything odd with our friend lately?
Nothing special, except that he's eating less.
Really? Maybe that's a clue...
Not really, he's just downgraded to five bean burritos instead of six.
You boys and your food.

 

by ookitarepanda
9-08-05
So did you get the job?
I don't know.
When do you know?
They'll let me know tomorrow
Find out about that job yet?
Shut up, god!

 

by ookitarepanda
9-11-05
What do you want, Clang?
Oh! I was just going to ask how your vacation at home went.
It was alright. Very busy, but I enjoyed myself.
That's cool. I spent my weekend greasing my groin. You can't imagine the strain of walking with a squeaky crotch.
Okay! I'll talk to you later!

 

by ookitarepanda
9-14-05
What are we doing for dinner tonight?
I don't know. I picked last time.
Dude, I'm getting really hungry. Let's go try something new.
You know we'll just drive around for a long time and end up going to Tacorama anyway.
May I take your order?
You know the drill, my man!

 

by ookitarepanda
9-16-05
What the hell do you want, Clang?
Oh, nothing, nothing... Would you mind if I came in for a moment?
So?
I don't know how to put this, but... If your boyfriend's penis had a mind of its own and started making trouble around town, what would you do?
I... I don't know what to say.
Oh okay. Just being hypothetical.

 

by ookitarepanda
9-19-05
Jerry, you have got to shut Clang up.
What's wrong?
He's been playing that song day after day!
Yeah, but it's a good song, dude.
Not when it gets stuck in your head and you end up singing it at the dinner table.
I didn't know "C Is For Cookie" could get stuck in someone's head.

 

by ookitarepanda
9-21-05
Hey, how was your birthday?
It was really cool, except I don't remember much of it.
Haha! One of THOSE birthdays, eh?
No, actually I was--
Beamed up by aliens? I know, man. You don't have to tell me.
Make it stop hurting...

 

by ookitarepanda
9-28-05
Don't you hate that overachiever girl you knew back in high school...
May I help you?
Jane, don't you remember me? What the heck have you been up to this past year?
Well, in addition to working here 34 hours a week, I took some classes at the university, volunteered at a children's hospital, taught dance lessons and went on a mission trip to Kenya. You?
Pretty much the same!
...except not.

 

by ookitarepanda
9-30-05
Hey, Clang, whatever happened to your friend Maura?
I'm not sure really... And it's too bad.
I miss the days of explaining my wonderous groin to that beautiful girl.
You have no soul.
Yeah, but the guy who gave me my house said I wouldn't need it!

 

by ookitarepanda
10-02-05
Annoyed acknowledgement of existence...
Ridiculous claim or pestering statement!
Bothered, yet unphased replying question?
Statement extremely vulnerable to predictable ridicule in the next frame.
Savvy joke against robots or vulgarity.
Our writer couldn't think of anything better, could he?

 

by ookitarepanda
10-05-05
Hey, Les.
Dude, are you talking to Kyle? I haven't heard from him in ages!
Yeah, apparently since he got to college, he's become a real drug enthusiast.
Yeah, it's hard to believe that grocery stores have a limit on how much cough medicine you can buy.
They do? I mean... Since when do you know anything about Robitussin working as a drug?
Dude, where I'm from, we call it Robi-trippin'.

 

by ookitarepanda
10-14-05
Clang, you mean to tell me you went to see Pulsating Ambience without me, Jerry, or Lester?
Yep!
I simply don't know what to say.
I probably shouldn't have burned those other 3 tickets I had, eh?
Shouldn't you be telling me to go to hell or something?

 

by ookitarepanda
10-17-05
You know what rules? "Pimp My Ride."
Dude, you gotta give me time to guess---
X to the Z Xzibit, man.
What the hell has gotten into you?
Men having sex with men.
You're not my friend for a while, ok?

 

by ookitarepanda
10-19-05
Kat, have you been seeing another man?
What? How could you say something like that?
Because I found an Xbox in your closet. An Xbox, Kathy.
Honey, I bought that Xbox. It was on sale and I figured we'd want one at some point---
Ahh!!! This is just too much for one man to handle!
Come on, sweetie, it'll be ok. Let's go play some Super Nintendo together.

 

by ookitarepanda
10-22-05
Dude, where the hell have you been?
What do you mean?
We haven't talked in like... a day.
Whoa... you're right. How do I make up for it?
Well, we could hang out somet---
Double the order, dude. I have to get yesterday's food in too.

 

by ookitarepanda
10-24-05
Do you really think it was a wise idea to double date tonight?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure the girls are having fun. They seem to have a lot in common.
Wow! You like chocolate?! I like chocolate, too!
I don't believe it! That's amazing!
Are you enjoying yourself, Jerry?
Long as I have my sandwich, I can withstand any number of double dates.

 

by ookitarepanda
11-02-05
So for Halloween, I handed out king size candy bars to each kid that came by.
Oh yeah?
Yeah, and then I got yelled at by all my neighbors for handing out such expensive candy.
That's absurd. Just because they didn't spend as much money as you did?
More like because they found out that I was stealing money from the neighborhood's budget fund.
I'm simultaneously offended by your stupidity and proud of your generosity to children.

 

by ookitarepanda
11-07-05
So you're telling me they hazed you at some freakish initiation?
Yeah, but it wasn't all that bad.
But shouldn't you report something like that to the authorities?
They either wouldn't care, or I'd just look like a fool...
I just don't see how making you fit forty lollipops in your mouth makes you want to be part of the organization.
When have I turned down free candy?

 

by ookitarepanda
2-19-06
Dude! Are you frickin' home or what? I haven't seen you in ages!
I'll be right there! Learn some patience, guy!
Yeah, but we're going to miss the show!
What show? The Pulsating Ambience show is next week, dude.
I was uh... just kidding. I'm just here to steal your food and stuff.
Man, I wish I could tell you how much I love seeing that ugly mug of yours again.

 

by ookitarepanda
6-15-06
I told you this cruise would be a great idea for us!
It sure is relaxing to be away from everything.
So Anna and I already did it 19 times, how about you?
Dude, we just boarded last night.
You said we were away from everything.
How the hell does he find us?

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