All comics by qwertyuio

Profile

 

by qwertyuio
6-21-04
Auschwitz
Well this is lame.
Yeah. Wanna smoke a cigarette?
Wow! I'm in flavor country! But isn't this sending a bad message to the kids?
I'm paying the producers five million dollars a puff so shutup and inhale. Besides, you won't be needing your lungs after tonight.

 

by qwertyuio
6-21-04
Come with me girl!
Where are we going?
You'll see.
You risked your life to save mine! How can I ever repay you?
You need to ask? Go down bitch!

 

by qwertyuio
6-21-04
Ha Ha Ha My plan is working brilliantly.
Not so fast you hun bastard.
Cthulhu, get them!
No, I can't...I love her.
Do what I say you ugly retard!
I will kill you now.

 

by qwertyuio
6-21-04
I love being your bitch, Erik.
Shut up and blow me.
Oh hello Heidi.
Hey Anne! I'm sorry I was so mean to you. Can I eat you again?
The End
Fuck off whore.
I'm gonna kill myself now.

 

by qwertyuio
6-21-04
Last Time Morgan Spurlock exposed the dangers of fastfood by going on an all-McDonalds diet.
Ok sir, two big macs, a large fry, and a large chocolate shake.
Supersize it.
Now he'll expose the hidden dangers of the drug trade.
So I'm making a documentary showing the effects of an all heroin diet.
That's pretty fucked. But as long as I get paid, I don't give a fuck.
"Smack Me Up", coming soon to a theatre near you.
pussy

 

by qwertyuio
6-29-04
Ally and Kyle Adjukovich didn't understand each other at all.
You have no idea what it's like to be a single mother raising a teen like you.
You don't know what it's like to be a horny teen with a nagging mother like you.
But on Thursday, they will find themselves in each other's shoes.
Oh crap! I'm you!
Oh crap! you're me!
Walt Disney presents "Freaky Thursday"
So this is what a boner feels like. Oh God I shouldn't be thinking about this!
Oh no, I got to take a dump! Ewwww!

 

by qwertyuio
7-08-04
HA HA! Lookit the horse face on that ugly fucking old skanky fag-hag!
*GASP* NOBODY talks to Zelda, Queen of the Gypsies like that! NOBODY!
Boy, are you in for it! She'll probably put a curse on you or something!
Ahh, BALONEY! What could possibly happen?
So Papa Shango, I need you to put a voodoo curse on this little blond punk.
I'll do it as soon as I get back from the Republican fundraiser.

 

by qwertyuio
7-08-04
HA HA! Lookit the horse face on that ugly fucking old skanky fag-hag!
*GASP* NOBODY talks to Zelda, Queen of the Gypsies like that! NOBODY!
Boy, are you in for it! She'll probably put a curse on you or something!
Ahh, BALONEY! What could possibly happen?
Oy Vey.
...We hold various professional positions - we are doctors, lawyers, accountants, teachers, social workers, various artists, writers, actors, poets, builders, etc. We are real people...

 

by qwertyuio
7-11-04
So did you cast as Erica?
Brittney Murphy?
Why, you big, fat asshole! Why did you cast that skank?
Well...
earlier...
You know me...I'll suck anything.

 

by qwertyuio
7-25-04
During the breeding season, the male will display for the female.
Hey baby, like my pecker?
Oh baby I'm wet!
At this time the birds would copulate.
God I need you so bad!
I need you in me!
Too bad about the separate cages.
So close...so far
Why must you torment me like this God?

 

by qwertyuio
7-26-04
I figured out a great way for us to meet women! We'll drop acid and crash through their bedroom windows at night dressed like circus clowns.
O.K., I'm with you so far...
Then we'll both take massive amounts of LSD again and scare the fuck out of them.
FAR OUT
What a pretty kitty, let me pet you.
Oh god, you picked the wrong day to fuck...did you just shit on my carpet?

 

by qwertyuio
7-26-04
I've got a plan to get back at your parents...Put on that sexy clown costume, kid...you know which one.
Oo, my favorite. Then what?
Hey kid, let me take naked pictures of you on my parent's...I mean my bed.
fi dolla prease.
I told you we'd get caught!
See Will, this is what happens when we listen to your mother.

 

by qwertyuio
7-26-04
Hi I'm Dewey Bunnell.
Pleased to meet you, I'm Dan Peek.
Hey I'm Gerry Beckley. You guys wanna be in a folk-rock group with me?
Sure we would.
...and that is how America came to be.

 

by qwertyuio
7-27-04
Hey kids, drugs are cool. Don't listen to those pesky DARE people or you'll be sorry.
I don't believe you.
The best way to say "NO" to drugs, is to touch an 8-year old boy's scrotum sack and go "Wiggy, wiggy, wiggy, wiggy!"
AAAHHHHHH!!!!
BUT THE CLOWN TOLD ME TO DO IT!!!!

 

by qwertyuio
7-27-04
Rets take acid and fuck ouw blains out.
Well my parents would kill me, but what the hell.
Wow.. these drugs are making you look.. rather fine!
Want me to.. give it to you?
Panel Censored by FCC

 

by qwertyuio
7-27-04
Now if I may, I'd like to give my opinion on the President's recent actions.
Panel Censored by FCC
Panel Censored by FCC

 

by qwertyuio
7-28-04
Now if I may, I'd like to give my opinion on the President's recent actions.
But first, allow me to present my 15 minute interpretive dance based on the film "Showgirls".
Oww! My back!
He's not as sexy as Dad, but he's still fuckable.

 

by qwertyuio
7-29-04
MMMMMMMM AH!
Oh my god, I can't believe you just took a crap in Satan's underwear drawer!
Relax. Satan and I always play practical jokes on eachother. Besides, how could he possibly top this one?
I don't know ... Satan's pretty crafty ...
Soooooooo...You liked the chili I made you?
Yeah it was....oh shit.

 

by qwertyuio
8-12-04
You know I don't find that funny at all you jackass.
Like I give a rat's ass what you think. I'm a guy.
Please exit the premises.
Yeah whatever, screw all of you.
Damn that Oprah joke you made was hilarious.
On her own show even.

 

by qwertyuio
8-15-04
Marty goes back in time thirty years.
Oh shit! That's mom!
Hey cutie, wanna come party with me?
Well ok.
Groovy! My parents are out of town, so we can get really wild.
I'm sure nothing will happen. But she's so freakin hot when she's not 300lbs.
shit

 

by qwertyuio
9-06-04
For years, porn mogul Cal E Fornicate had been hassled by authorities trying to shut him down.
Oh dammit! I'm just giving the public what it wants.
I seriously doubt "TVTA" videos are even possible, much less what the public wants.
One day he decided the only way to fix the problem was to take his whores...actors with him to a untamed territory, which he named after himself.
I'll call this California. What do you think?
Where's my fucking coke asshole?!
Many cities were named after porn stars: Billy Ball Sacramento, Long Beach Dong Silver, Little Oral Anaheim, Debbie Does San Diego, and Anal Annie Oakland.
Damnit Stephanie San Andreas, quit causing earthquakes!
Told you my orgasms were intense.

 

by qwertyuio
11-07-04
I M GOIN 2 RAPP U!!!111
Oh no!
Tune in next week when...
Why must I always be saddled with this tripe? I played Hamlet at Cambridge!
Excuse me, what's my motivation?

 

Despite her denial, the rooster still suspected Lisa of eating his father, as her breath reeked of cock.
by qwertyuio, 5-16-05

 

by qwertyuio
5-16-05
You got a scary glint in your eye tonight buddy.
Lack of pussy can drive a man insane.
As your pink imaginary horse friend heed my words. LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY!
I'm working on it. Last night I got in touch with my feminine side.
It turns out my feminine side's under 18, so I'm fucked.
Quiet in there or it's back in the hole with you!

 

by qwertyuio
5-16-05
Lindsey Lohan then
Got I'd could live between those titties.
Lindsey Lohan now
What the fuck happened to you?
This is Jesus saying don't let drugs get in the way of your jugs

 

by qwertyuio
6-08-05
Welcome to MacRonald's! What can I get for you?
How about a hearty serving of your sweet ass?
Actually I'm more of a spicy ass.
Fun Fact
Your daddy ejaculated sperm into your mom's cunt.
And your mom's mouth and ass.

 

by qwertyuio
7-01-05
Hi I'm Barry Williams. You probably know me best as Greg Brady on the Brady Bunch.
And you may remember me from the prog-rock group Emerson, Lake, & Palmer.
I don't remember which one I was though.

 

by qwertyuio
7-01-05
We are proud to offer you this amazing collection of classic rock hits.
Four cds containing over fifty rock classics!
We got 'Money" by Pink Floyd, 'Kashmir' by Led Zeppelin, 'Hotel California' by the Eagles, 'Joker' by Steve Miller, and so much more.
The list just goes on and on.
I mean where else can you get to hear all these classics?
Besides movies, commercials and oldies radio?

 

by qwertyuio
7-11-05
Shoo doggie, go home!
Uh Grandma, it's me Timmy.
Oh goodness, you've been bitten by a rabid dog and now you are a crime-fighting dogboy!
Are you taking you're meds Grandma? Because I don't know what you're talking about.
Well then you're just ugly then. I blame your rat-faced tramp of a mother. I don't know what your daddy ever saw in her anyway.
Uh you do know that you're my maternal grandmother, right?

 

by qwertyuio
7-11-05
Honey, I'm *hic* home...
This is the 15th night in a row that you've come home late! I've had enough of this shit, I want a divorce!
Please forgive me baby...I swear, I'll make it up to you.
And just how do you plan on doing that?
Wanna go for a ride?
Oh baby!!!!!!!!!

 

by qwertyuio
7-22-05
I sure do enjoy this site
I enjoy the work of Biped, AllHallows, and the TheKomikKreator.
This site sure is swell.
Wel i shur gld u haf a hobbi bc1dz kuttin yocelf.

 

by qwertyuio
4-18-06
Wow, I haven't been to SC in ages.
I wonder if anything's changed.
penis!

 

by qwertyuio
4-21-06
(sniff) It's still real to me damnit!

 

by qwertyuio
4-21-06
I guess I must be addicted too. There is virtually never a time I have sex with a guy (or multiple guys) where I don't spend a lot of my time sucking on their gorgeous cocks.
Yeah, I've gotta be honest ... I resisted doing it forever ... it just didn't appeal to me, but when I began dating my fiance, and knew that I loved him, the idea didn't repulse me so much anymore.
I love the 'dirty slut' feeling I get when sucking on cock and get very very wet doing it, especially if the guy is also dirty talking to me.
After a few months - and after telling him that he would never get it - I did ... and ya know, I liked it!!! Now, I like to do it as a warm up for him ... and me! I think it has something to do with
my oral fixation ... I'm sure Freud could explain it in great detail. Anyway, I don't think I'm addicted, but I sure do love to do it!!!

 

by qwertyuio
4-21-06
Keira Knightley can suck my fat cock because I fucking hate her and her ugly fucking face with two fucking facial expressions who the fuck does she think she is
Scarlett Johanson never really did it for me. Especially not the way Kiera Knightly did. She dosen't look great in this pic, but compared with the bloodless, huge lipped Johanson, she looks great.
More like Scarlett "No-Pants-On" if you ask me!
However, more on topic: Scarlett is one of the hottest chicks in Hollywood. She truly possess the look of classic beauty - reminiscent of the glamour days of tinsel town. Not to mention I really want
to ream her 'f-hole'. God damn I love that woman.
I would eat a cheeseburger off the ass of either of those ladies.

 

by qwertyuio
4-21-06
I guess this really begs the question: "Is it OK, then, to piss and shit towards Mecca?"
That's it, I'm never going to wank again without first referring to my trusty compass!
If nothing else this article highlights the amount of times I`ve taken a crap in Meccas direction, blissfully unaware that I was offending the sensibilities of the Islamic world.
Fucking savages....People who believe in god never cease to astound.
Whata re pious Muslims doing in prison in the first place? Drug dealers and pimps turn into devout Muslims in prison to avoid man rape. I've seen Oz, I know.
and what if they're exactly on the opposite end of the earth from mecca? do they have to shit standing on their heads?

 

by qwertyuio
4-21-06
Now I want to kill YOU for making me CLICK THAT LINK
Hey, I scrolled over that link and saw the name of the page. Look before you leap, boys and girls.
It's worse then just plain menstration porn. Fattie. Menstration Porn.
I believe that by this point, anyone who clicks on anything Rant links to knows exactly what's on the other side, and gets exactly what they deserve.
Fucking a chick on her period can be fun. Shit feels better for the guy and the girl, in all my experiences.
Sex is best during menstruation. Can I assume that anyone who thinks sex during a woman's period is gross also dislikes anal sex?

 

by qwertyuio
6-17-06
Dustin "Screech" Diamond needs to come up with a quarter million $ or he'll be kicked out of his house. I'm sure you'll be eager to help this comedic genius in his time of need.
Fuck Screech. Does anyone think he deserves better than the homeless life?
Agreed, I see no reason for him to continue using our air.
Screech lives in the town where I grew up, and there is no way that he needs that much money for the average suburban house that he owns. I smell scam.
My wife just informed me that Screech has a 10 inch cock!
Somehow, that's like sweet justice... a mighty penis that will go unused since it is attatched to an even bigger tool.

 

by qwertyuio
7-10-06
On a very special episode of "That's So Ashley" Ashley meets pop superstar Clay Aiken.
Wow! Clay Aiken
hey
But will she like what she sees?
Oh my! Aiken's balls!
Ooh, it's windy out here.
Meanwhile, Damian makes a new friend.
So how do we play this choking game?
Well I'll be happy to show you. You did bring a plastic bag like I said, right?

 

by qwertyuio
11-20-06
So Air America's shutting down. This shows how out of touch you libs are with mainstream America.
It proves that we don't need to listen to someone saying things we agree with in order to feel secure in our beliefs.
It also proves that we don't need to use an obsolete medium like AM radio to discuss politics. That's what the internet is for.
Typical whiny liberal always making excuses.
And besides, if you haven't noticed, most Americans have turned against you. Remember election night? It's only been two weeks.

 

by qwertyuio
11-20-06
Fucking stupid cracksmoking niggers!!!!!!!!!!
Hey Kramer, I don't think you should be saying that.
Shut up Seinfeld you fucking money-grubbing kike!!!!!!!!!
Meanwhile...
You pushed me too fucking far Mom and Dad!!!!!!
You're a constant disappointment to us George!!!

 

by qwertyuio
11-20-06
For the purposes of this strip, pretend Screech is exposing himself.
Screech, what the fuck are you doing in the girl's bathroom?
I like to watch chicks poop. So, will my chocolate princess be squeezing out a big chocolate snake?
Sick fuck! And please stick your cock back in your pants! Noone wants to see that!
Come on Lisa, you can't tell me my ten inch schlong doesn't fill you with lust in your womanhood.
I'm black dumbass. Ten inches to us is like 5 inches to you crackas.
Anti-Semite!

Showing page 2.

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