All comics by ragu4u

 

by ragu4u
8-23-08
Draw, stranger!
It was easier to just rub you out!
Ugh!

 

by ragu4u
8-23-08
Looks like neighbor Jones got bad news in the mail.
Oh no.
I wonder if he'll tell me. He looks despondent. I hope he's not deathly ill.
It's over.
I think he's gone insane!!
Maybe now the nosey bastard will figure out I just got canned.

 

by ragu4u
8-23-08
Welcome, me lady, to Sherwood Forrest.
I'm pleased you are thrilled to see me.
Thrilled, me lady? What doth make you aware of that?
Well, truth be told...
...thy "package" bulge-ith!

 

by ragu4u
8-24-08
I wear this mask to scare off insurance salesmen.
But sir, this should only take a few mo...
I know the drill. Whole Life, Modified Life, Term Life, blah blah blah. Just beat it, ASS HOLE.
Maybe you're right, fella. It's been my experience that jerks like you are accident prone, anyway.
I needed a scarier mask.
I thought that looked like the insurance guys dinghy up there again.

 

by ragu4u
8-24-08
Hey fairy, how's about granting me a wish?
Such as?
Make me a fly on the wall in Lindsey Lohans bathroom.
I can do that.
You stupid fairy, I was assuming you would downsize me.
Bitch, bitch, bitch!

 

by ragu4u
8-24-08
Hallway of The Special School District
I must ask you what's in the bag young man?
Me no sure.
Where students learn from teachers...
Well, I'll have to just reach in and have a quick look.
Maybe not good idea.
And vice versa...
I thought those damned things were extinct. Get it out of here.
Me say, not good idea.

 

by ragu4u
8-25-08
Hey dude, you ought to see the new babe down the hall.
Down the hall...
Hey pretty mama. I go for gals that are always wet and have nice FULL cups!
Beat it ass hole. I saw her first!

 

by ragu4u
8-25-08
In the Outback of Australia...
Hey mate, stay away from the mother kangaroos with young.
What's a bloke like you know?
Just mark my words. They're fierce & protective.
You must be batty "Dingo Boy". No bloody roo runs me off me own turf!
Go ahead...make my day!
Crikey, Dingo Boy! You said protective...you didn't say armed!

 

by ragu4u
8-25-08
Actors Employment Office
Have you had any past experience?
Have I? I'll have you know it was ME on "The Godfather" book cover.
I see. If you can hang around a moment I promise NOT to string you along.
That's what I do best...HEY!
Hang...string..bwa ha ha ha.
What an absolute PRICK! Pull some strings and get me out of here.

 

NICE butt!
by ragu4u, 8-25-08

 

by ragu4u
8-25-08
Dawn, take 3 steps forward and touch your toes.
That's good. Now bend over.
Aha!! I knew it. I knew you could see the crack of dawn even way up here.

 

by ragu4u
8-26-08
Democratic National Convention "Green Room"
Am I on next?
No Mr. Clinton. I believe your wife will speak first.
That damn woman always is trying to out do me. So you're saying that I have some free time?
Yes Mr. President, at least 20 minutes.
Well alrighty then. Now go bag me a hooker in an off white dress and a box of Cuba cigars, son!
As usual, no whores that wear braces, correct sir?

 

by ragu4u
8-26-08
You're a lousy tramp, Betty, and I'm calling the authorities to take you out of here.
Too much of a wimp to do it yourself, Bob?
I mean it. I'm going out to make the call right now so you best be leaving.
Bob, you're too stupid to do anything right!
Now just what in the hell is THAT supposed to be?
It's what you asked for! You called and said ..."Get that stinkin pussy out of my house". Well, here she is.

 

by ragu4u
8-27-08
Hop into bed . I need to inject a little something in your ass to put you in dreamland.
???
Hmmm.
How odd! I was about to ask to do the same thing to you.

 

by ragu4u
8-28-08
Do you think Obama will win the presidency even though he's black?
Black! He's black? who said he's black? Did HE say he's black?
No. I don't think HE actually made it a point to SAY that.
Whew! Then I can still vote for him.

 

Did you know John McCain used to hide coins in his mouth when he was young?
Yeah! Even then he said that "change" left a bad taste in his mouth.
by ragu4u, 8-28-08

 

by ragu4u
8-29-08
"Fox News Channel" Cafeteria
Sarah Palin? Who's Sarah Palin?
She's McCain's VP pick!
And?
She's young, hot and a former beauty queen.
Oh yeah...she reads the news here during breaks on "Fox n Friends", right?
If she does, it appears the cleavage and short skirts paid off big time.

 

by ragu4u
8-30-08
My brother is in room 302. For $500 you damn well better show him what a good time looks like.
You bet, honey. I'm the best.
Room 302
Bro tells me you specialize in good times. So lets get to it.
Alrighty sweetheart. You'll remember this forever.
Three minutes later...
Holy crap, lady. Why did you beat the shit out of me?
You wanted to see a good time. Well, you saw ME have a "kick ass" time. You want a receipt?

 

by ragu4u
8-31-08
Somewhere in Alaska
What do you think about Sarah Palin leaving Alaska to be VP?
As long as she...
...takes all her rifles, I'll feel safer immediately!

 

by ragu4u
8-31-08
Comic Strip Characters Never Die,
Bad news my colorful little friend.
Oh?
They Only Get...
Your character is being eliminated.
No!
...Rubbed Out!
Yes!
crap

 

by ragu4u
8-31-08
The Road OUT of New Orleans Prior to Hurricane "Katrina". 2004
"Hurricane Gustav"
The Road INTO New Orleans For the Entire Decade AFTER Hurricane "Gustav". 2008

 

by ragu4u
8-31-08
GOP National Convention...Monday
Due to Hurricane Gustav, we have decided to call off most of the events for today.
A wise decision in light of the fact that "POTUS" won't even be here.
You mean there was a chance he was planning to show up?
Absolutely....and the VP as well. But neither of them are coming now.
YES! There is a God...
??

 

by ragu4u
8-31-08
He, he he. I always did want to copy my stinking, shit stained ass on a copy machine. It turned out great.
A Little Later
I wonder if anyone is looking?
If I knew you was gonna copy yer nostrils I would of warned ya.

 

by ragu4u
9-01-08
The Burning Man Festival 2008
This year is a total disaster, AGAIN!
I'm new here. Why is that?
The Burning Man Festival 2008
Damnit! Last year they went and burned the "MAN" days early.
Oh?
The Burning Man Festival 2008
Now on the last day this dust storm hits and we can't even find the "MAN".
Have you tried calling him?

 

by ragu4u
9-01-08
Oh wizard of the woods, grant me one wish?
And what wish might that be old man?
Well, I wondered if you could arrange it for me to have sex with...pssst, pssst, psst.
No need to whisper. I can hear you fine. Your wish is granted.
I KNEW that wizard didn't hear me right. I wanted to have sex with Dinah Shore!
Me so hawny. Rub you rong time.

 

by ragu4u
9-01-08
An Elephants Hearing is Excellent...
Your ears and tusks are magnificent my dear.
...but with better eyesight...
Come closer...
...He Could See That Clouds Are Clouds.
We must mate.

 

by ragu4u
9-02-08
I smell shit.
Huh?
You smell shit?
Of course. I'm a dung beetle. I'm eating shit.
I don't give a shit!
Well if you do, I could go for a little dessert.

 

by ragu4u
9-03-08
The gentleman behind me is very touchy about his size. Don't offend him.
Gotcha, boss.
Your waist measures 56 sir.
Impossible. I bought pants here a week ago and was told they were 40's. I want to see the manager.
Don't worry sir. He's new and unfamiliar with where we stock the size 40 "Husky" pants.
I kew 56 was wrong. He must have had a metric tape measure.

 

by ragu4u
9-03-08
Hey partner, my horse broke his leg a ways back. Can I get a lift?
HA! I'm oughta here,cowpoke! Eat my dust.
I seen "Brokeback Mountain". He ain't getting in THIS car.

 

by ragu4u
9-03-08
I know you. You're "Pennywise" the clown.
So glad you remember me!
You're "IT", the one who......awww shit!
Beep beep, Richie...Bwahahah!
Son of a...

 

by ragu4u
9-03-08
Election Day
It's unanimous. The ayes have it.

 

by ragu4u
9-03-08
GOP VP Acceptance Speech
Ladies and gentlemen....I'm proud to accept the condemna......oops
...the admonish....oops, the persecut...oops, the humiliat..oops...
Let me just say this ...I gladly accept ALL that the media are trying to do TO me and will, in due time, happily shove it all right back down their throats and I hope they choke on it.

 

by ragu4u
9-04-08
Welcome and thank you all for coming to our "I Can Afford a Time Share" free dinner and seminar.
On the count of 3 let em have it, boys.

 

by ragu4u
9-04-08
Why do we have to come to the museum every year, Teach?
This year they have a wonderful pottery exhibit, Tommy.
Well, I'm sick from the bus ride. I need to lay down.
I'll get the museum nurse. Follow her to the First Aid room.
Walk this way, young man.
Teach was right. They DO have some mighty fine jugs in this joint.

 

by ragu4u
9-04-08
Jan. 20, 2009
I'm so glad I voted for Obama.
Is that so?
The Next Day...
How glad are you now?

 

by ragu4u
9-04-08
Me no know how to baby sit.
I'm gonna own you, you big, fat, lard ass.
Maybe something from bag-o-tricks keep kid calm?
Don't get too comfy, Shit For Brains. I'm calling the shots around here.
I know good game. Me make Pinata out of you. Now close eyes.
Whoa! Nap time.

 

by ragu4u
9-04-08
Now don't start in on me again with the bit about how I don't support the kid.
I was asking for a raise but the boss cut me off short.

 

by ragu4u
9-05-08
Gym Lounge
Hey baby , you sure looked great workin that stair stepper. Want some company?
I'm waiting for someone. We're sisters and, besides, men are not our thing.
Gym Lounge
Alrighty then...a lesbian sister act. If she's as hot as you I'll be in heaven.
I'm going to change. Please leave.
Gym Lounge
Sister, did you know that man who just ran out the door?
No sister, but I have a feeling he needs to go to confession.

 

by ragu4u
9-05-08
I'm sick of you lousy robots. Squeakin, creakin and clunking, 24/7.
Well, you're not much of a neighbor either, always bitchin. So tell me, what WILL satisfy you?
I want you to fix it so I NEVER hear your aggrivating noise again, pronto!
Is THAT all? I'd be delighted to. All I need is a post-hole digger.
Mmmf pmmmf..
Excuse me? How's that? Say what? Oh that's right, you can't hear me. You must be thrilled.

 

by ragu4u
9-05-08
Sure, Mary. You had to have kids, didn't you.
Well I was sure they had a handle on all that stuff like...
Like what? Screwing around with DNA? Cloning ? Invitro? Surrogats? etc?
Shhh. Keep your voice down Ralph. The twins may be listening in their room.
Listen to em. They think we're freaks.
We'll show em. Let's fry ourselves. No wait...they'll eat us, the filthy cannibals.

 

by ragu4u
9-05-08
C'mon kid...I need more than your first name and the month and day you were born or I'll have to haul you in.
If you don't stop repeating your first name & birthday I'm sending you to the shrink.
John 3:16, John 3:16, John 3:16....
I guess those 2 cops don't follow the NFL.

 

by ragu4u
9-05-08
When they first signed me up and said I was gonna be all that I could be.....
...they really didn't stress that one of the things I could be was...
...this! Hoo ah!

 

by ragu4u
9-06-08
The Australian Connection
So Mr. Tony Montana big shot, how you gonna protect that mountain of cocaine they dumped on the beach over there?
Doubt me? You dumb fuck. You gone and done it now you stupid fuck, you!
Whoa! Lets be talkin out dis shit.
G-day mate.
I see you said "Hello" to my leetle fran.

 

by ragu4u
9-06-08
Beastiality Rehab Center
My, that's one fine piece of tail. I'm losing control. I must resist.
I'm getting the funniest feeling in my anus.
In disguise, his willpower fails...
lI can't resist. This disguise will help me penetrate the rabbit's butt hole.
Yes, I feel impending doom. I must go and prepare for anything.
...As well as the plan for love.
Feet, don't fail me now. I'm sure glad this outfit zips up the front.
Stop runnin and tell me who's your daddy NOW, BITCH?

 

by ragu4u
9-06-08
Doc, ain't I the ugliest thing you ever did see?
Well sir, you ARE ugly, but...
...you still have a better looking nose than the one poking out from the face of Owen Wilson!

 

by ragu4u
9-06-08
Will you go away little girl. This space is for robots only.
Don't mess with me red or I'll over-tighten you bolts.
Not to mention what I'll do to your NUTS . Hi Yah!
mmmmf

 

by ragu4u
9-07-08
That plane is about to hit this building.
72 virgins, here I come.
I wish I got a couple more lap dances last night. Alla hu Akbar!!
Let me just say that after I revive this city I'll play it politically for all it's worth to my advantage.
(...am I on? How's my hair?) oops You have just heard from "America's Mayor", Joody Rooliani.

 

by ragu4u
9-07-08
My wife & I are new here. Is L.A. always this foggy?
These are exhaust fumes, moron.
So, protective gear is advisible for us?
I'd say...unless you want to wind up like this cat here.
At the hotel later that evening...
I've bought one for you too, honey...
No way, Gary. If Versace didn't make it, I don't wear it.

 

by ragu4u
9-07-08
Hey birdy! You know why we bring the birdies into coal mines when we dig?
You enjoy our cheery chirping, I suppose.
Nope. Is because if oxygen get too low in mine YOU die. When YOU die WE leave. We be safe.
Now how much does THAT suck?
I go into mine now. You remember to die if air start to get bad! OK?...OK?
Yeah right! Like I'm hanging around for THAT? I'm outta here, Sven.

 

by ragu4u
9-08-08
9/08/2008 MSNBC Hdq.
And so Keith Oberman & Chris Mathews have been removed from MSNBC political reporting, Betty.
This news is a terrible shock as those two are the cream of our crop here at MSNBC. We have tape of their reaction.
9/08/2008 MSNBC Hdq.
Your reaction, Keith?
It's Bush and his neo-con cronies who are behind all this. Those fucking Nazis are shitting on "fair play" guys like me.
9/08/2008 MSNBC Hdq.
And you? What's your reaction Chris?
Betty, it looks like the "idiots" have won. We intellectuals just can't get through to those midwestern GOP morons. Besides, we Dems are like GODS. How dare anyone remove us?

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