All comics by wingenvy

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by wingenvy
5-22-02
Ramses! Hey Ramses!
Ugh, I'm not feeling so good...my head hurts....
Let's do something fun before Queue tires of us.
I TOLD YOU I HAVE A HEADACHE, DAMMIT!
I'm sorry, I thought you would want to play "Grecco Wrestler"
Why do you keep looking at me like that?!

 

by wingenvy
5-22-02
Hey pckls...
Uh......yeah?
Hong Kong Phooey wanted me to pee on you...
Interesting........I know nothing of which you speak, but I would have preferred "around me".....
On you, about you...same difference.
Easy for you to say, although I don't think humping my leg was called for....

 

by wingenvy
5-23-02
Hey, Mike, do you ever wonder why we're here? On earth, I mean. Why we were sent here in the first place?....
Yeah, I've never really been clear on the mission myself.
I'm just wondering why the mother ship hasn't come back yet, it's been a few million years already........
Just give it time................Hey! What's the big yellow thing over there with 4 wheels?
Huh? Whe................
Lucky bastard...............

 

by wingenvy
5-24-02
You know how sometimes something seems like a really good idea.
Then, later you're doubly questioning yourself about it..
It's been one of those days.
You got caught masturbating in public again, didn't you?

 

by wingenvy
5-24-02
Sometimes I look at things through rose colored glasses, and other times those glasses are pitch black.
Ugh...it's no fun being morose half the time...
Hey, I thought you wanted to do a pee joke.
Right..make it quick.
WHIPPEE!!!

 

by wingenvy
5-24-02
We need a gimmick to keep people interested.
I thought we were still doing pee jokes.
What about the guys though?
How 'bout girls peeing on guys?
Anyone who reads our comic certainly doesn't have a woman.
Fine...guys peeing on guys. But I get to go first.....

 

by wingenvy
5-24-02
You know Jebus.. life is really weird sometimes.
That's why I drink.
I propose a toast:
Don't you try to out-pityparty me you oversized toaster!
God, you're lame.

 

by wingenvy
5-24-02
Jebus, what I'm trying to get you to understand, is that no matter how you plan things, you can't expect them to come out that way.
You mean like your public masturbation fiascos?
You may not be around to see it..so in a way yes.
Ha! I've got pictures.

 

by wingenvy
5-24-02
Hello. How are you?
Um.....fine, so.....why'd you call?
I just wanted to talk to you; Stop scratching! Ack! Get down! Awwwww......someone wants some luvin'.......
Awww.......widdle baby........
Yeah, um....I've gotta go. We'll have to do this again sometime; it's been "interesting".....

 

by wingenvy
5-24-02
Watching Mulholland Drive with the boyfriend; 15 min. into it
Why is that lady acting like that?
Probably because she had a head injury and isn't making any sense. Plus, it's a David Lynch film.....
5 min. later...
Why does that couple look so happy?
I don't know why, it's a David Lynch film, just watch.....
10 min. later, stops movie......
Ok, I don't get it. What's going on?
You've never seen a David Lynch film, have you? Yeah, I'm sure these next 2 hours are just going to fly right by........

 

by wingenvy
5-27-02
Am I the sucker? With all the punching? Am I the only one dumb enough to stick around until the fighting ends, and the next round begins?
Am I just too blind to see?
That I know the sucker, in the mirror staring back at me.
Man, you know you've drank too much when your reflection becomes philosophical. I think I'm gonna lay off this week........

 

by wingenvy
5-27-02
My meeting with rickward.
Hey rick
*blink*
Wow..you look like me.
*blink* *blink*
Um..you're ruining it for the folks at home.
Man, you know you've been snorting too much coke off of credit cards when your alter-ego ends up being a pansy ass bore....Maybe I should offer to buy him a drink or something..Damn.....

 

by wingenvy
5-27-02
So, finally we meet...
You want me to pee on you, don't you?
....
.....
Wanna snort coke off a credit card?
You're a running gag with no place to go, aren't you?

 

by wingenvy
5-27-02
After many lines on many credit cards.
I'm so paranoid.
Woo hoo! Check out that honey over there......
I think I'm going to ruin my life, lose my job, and live a life of vagrancy.
Yeah, she wants me, it's so obvious....
*Insert movie stereotype*
Would you mind standing in the corner? I wouldn't want her to confuse us, for obvious lameness reasons. You understand......

 

by wingenvy
5-27-02
Where is he? He said he'd call, the bastard....
That's it, I'm not hanging around anymore guys, send in the hallucination...
*pant pant* Sorry I'm late, rick and I have been snorting up.
So, that's why your looking at me like that? Oh, the irony....

 

by wingenvy
5-27-02
Must you always be so mean to me?
Why, however do you mean?
Oooooohhh, I see.....you want me to let go of the vice grip I have on your penis? Well, that's only going to happen when you put some pants on.
I can force myself to do that.
Ok, well, when you decide to do it, let me know...in the meantime however...

 

by wingenvy
5-27-02
Wingenvy meets some guy
Hey, you look just like MisterQueue and rickward....
Burn in hell, bitch!
You wanna see all my other hair?
Um, yeah, nice pick up line...very funny in a "My god, that wasn't even remotely funny" sort of way.....
Next time: Wingenvy meets some other guy!
Hey, come back!
Maybe when you actually start "developing other hair". In the meantime, for the love of god, DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH ANOTHER SOUL ON THIS GODFORSAKEN PLANET EVER. Thanks....Now, where's your parents?....

 

by wingenvy
5-31-02
Talking to the bf.......
Hi, sorry I missed your message, I just finished exercising a couple of minutes ago.
Oh, that's ok. I thought you were mad or something.
Nope. Everything's ok......
Well, I had to work late so I have a bunch of stuff to do still, and I'll be cleaning again tomorrow.......
Oh, well, I can help you tomorrow if you'd like. I know you said before that you didn't want my help, but..
Oh, that would be great. There's still alot to be done, but we need to get it all tied up around 5pm, though, I'm going out with some friends. But, yeah, you're more than welcome to help me clean.....

 

by wingenvy
6-01-02
Sometimes, I really feel like doing nothing....
Well, maybe not nothing, necessarily....just nothing that's feasibly possible.....
I'd like to skydive today, but I don't have the money....
Or maybe just drive out to Alton. I could check out the bridge and catch the scenery, but that's too far away....
Hmm....I guess I could just drive out to St. Louis and jump off the bridge...
Hmm.....tempting........

 

by wingenvy
6-01-02
Hmm........I wonder if I'd be missed...........
5 days later...........
*You have NO NEW MESSAGES, YA FUCKING LOSER, oh.........except for about 50 calls from creditors.........
Well, it's refreshing to know I haven't sold my soul yet.........

 

by wingenvy
6-06-02
Why the hell do I feel so damn happy?
I'm not on drugs, my life sucks, I have no reason to feel this way and yet..............
Damn it, I'm just stupid.

 

by wingenvy
6-06-02
Okay she wasn't that young but she had pigtails.
*inane giggling*
You were brilliant up there......your prose was mesmerizing....
*giggle* thanks! *giggle*
Ok, I admit, that was just a line to get you to sleep with me so......how about it?
*inane giggling*
Oooooook, well, I'm just going to run out to my car really fast and get my handcuffs. Be back in a sec....

 

by wingenvy
6-06-02
IRC
I have to pee, open wide someone.
So, I've been having some problems with this physics problem.
I was kidding.
Hmm.....let me see it.
Sigh..I'm so misunderstood.
Oh, I see now, you need to take TWO derivitives.

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