All comics by xenogamy

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by xenogamy
11-18-02
...
...
WE'RE NOT TWINS.
WE'RE JUST FAGS.

 

by xenogamy
11-18-02
HEY KIDS! I'M A CIGARETTE! DON'T SMOKE ME!
OKAY
HEY KIDS! I'M A PROSTITUTE! DON'T SOLICIT ME!
OKAY
HEY KIDS! I'M A CHILD MOLESTOR! TOUCH ME HERE!
OKAY

 

by xenogamy
11-18-02
WELL, WELL, WELL!! COULD I GET ANY GAYER
PERHAPS IF YOU SWIRLED UP YOUR HAIR MORE, AND DYED IT PLATINUM BLONDE.
...
YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO ANSWER THAT.
THIS LETTER SAYS YOU'RE A DICKHEAD

 

by xenogamy
11-18-02
I PLANT THIS FLAG IN THE NAME OF THE CONFEDERATION!
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, MISTER
WHAT
YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO WIN THE WAR, SORRY.
AHGEGHLEHFLF
HAHA! WORKS EVERY TIME.

 

by xenogamy
11-18-02
WHAT ARE YOU SO HAPPY ABOUT?
I'M NOT HAPPY!! THE HU-MANS MADE ME THIS WAY!
YEAH, RIGHT.
SOMEONE GOT SOME TIN LAST NIGHT, I JUST KNOW IT.

 

by xenogamy
11-18-02
I'm a dancin' fool, mostly.
Check out my moves!!

 

by xenogamy
11-18-02
Will you have sex with me?
No.
Will you PLEASE have sex with me?
No!
Hey, mister, I will!

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
FORGIVE ME, JESUS, FOR I HAVE SINNED
WHAT.
I LOOKED AT A WOMAN LUSTFULLY
Woah. Was she hot?
Well, yeah.
THEN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE, FAG? GO FUCK HER BEFORE I STRIKE YOU DOWN WITH LIGHTNING.

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
FORGIVE ME JESUS FOR I HAVE SINNED
Oh, dad. Another one of you shits. What is it this time?
I've... I've committed sodomy!
Holy shit!!
...
Actually, that's what would happen if I committed sodomy.

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
JESUS, I BEG YOUR FORGIVENESS.
I swear, if I wasn't nailed to this cross I'd SO be out of here. What do YOU want?
I've broken the sixth commandment!!
Wait... is that the killing one??
It's the one with...
No, stop. I can get this. Is it "I am the Lord thy God?"

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
Woahh.. It's like, JESUS.
Yeah, I'm pretty famous.
So, like, you were a total pothead, right? I mean, all that bible crap, you know?
...
Goddamn hippies.

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
Hmm...
Uhhmm...
PHONE SEX NUMBERS ARE SO HARD TO REMEMBER

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
Writin' a ticket, writin' a ticket!!
Hey, that guy is writing a ticket for my car!!
Dum de dum dum bum...
Excuse me, sir, but that's my car you're ticketing.
Yes, it is my job to uphold traffic la--AGHEHLHFF

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you god??
BUCK-AWW!!
Excellent. Now, when farmer brown penetrated you, did you, at any point, tell him "NO"?
BUCK BUCK BUCK-AWWWW!!!!#)*@)
...the defense rests.

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
Excuse me, fellow cowboy!
Yes, fellow cowboy?
Do you happen to have the time?
It's time for wild cow sex!!
Yee-haw!!
Yee-haw!!

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
WELL, I WAS ACCEPTED TO YALE...
...AND PRINCETON...
...STANFORD SAYS I HAVE A FULL SCHOLARSHIP...
...AND SO DOES MIT...
...BUT HARVARD SAYS I DIDN'T SUCK OFF THE ADMISSIONS BOARD ENOUGH.

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
Man, my head hurts...
What did I do last night?? I don't even remember.
So, you're finally up?? I made you breakfast!
.....ohhh yeah.

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh
huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh
huhuhuhuhuhuhuh 69

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
PACKAGE FOR MR. MANDLEBAUM
Finally!! It has arrived!
GIFTWRAPPED FOR YOUR PLEASURE!
How lovely!!! Thank you!!
All in a day's work, mister.
Is getting your hot little ass in here and sucking my dick all in a day's work, too?

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
Can you help me across the street, sonny?
NO, YOU BIG FAT BITCH. GO FUCK YOURSELF.
Yo, yo, yo! I got these real rolexes, $10. Real, man!
SUCK MY DICK.
Pardon me, sir, would you like to accept the warm embrace of Jesus?
I ALREADY DID, MOTHERFUCKER.

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
Got any playboys??
GO MINDLESSLY JERK YOUR DICK ELSEWHERE, FUCKING PERVERT FAGGOT.
Alms for the poor?
YEAH, RIGHT. LIKE I WOULD GIVE MY HARD EARNED MONEY TO SOME CRACK ADDICT SHITFACE LEECH-ON-SOCIETY WHO I'LL NEVER MEET.

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
Well, those lego sets never worked right, so maybe this Erector Set will cure me of this horrid loneliness.
That's strange... I remember ordering a FEMALE model...
I'M GOING TO SUCK YOUR DICK, MISTER.
More wasted money...

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
And to think, I was scared of PREMATURE ejaculation.

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
In the vein of the 50th episode spectacular, the author would once again like to converse with the readers.
I'M SERIOUS NOW WHEN AM I GETTING LAID
I'VE GONE THROUGH FIVE DAYS OF THIS CRAP.
AND STILL NO SEX. REALLY.
SOMETIMES I WONDER IF THIS COMIC WAS A GOOD IDEA OR NOT.

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
PRESENTING MY LIFE IN THREE PANELS
ZAMROS I'LL HAVE SEX WITH YOU!
REALLY?
NO HAHA IT WAS A JOKE GET IT
...ACTUALLY NO I DON'T.
...YOU HAVE A WEIRD SENSE OF HUMOR.

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
PRESENTING ONCE AGAIN MY LIFE IN 3 PANELS

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
THIS IS A STICKUP
WHO WHERE WHAT NOW
WRONG ANSWER.

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
helo
hi!!!11
im gonoing 2 suk ur dik mstr
omg
lol zamros is a loosar
yeh he shuld stop writeing comix bout himslef.

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
This servant bot will be able to do my bidding...
Servantbot, kill!!
bzzt yes master

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
Man, I hate christmas.
I hear you, buddy.
I mean, The running through the air all night, the stopping, I'm practically wearing out my hooves!
Ohh...
I thought you were talking about how Santa fucks us up the ass every year.

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
Who's the man??
I'M the man.
Who's STILL the man??
I AM, indeed, STILL, the man.
I'm serious this time. WHO IS TH--AHGHAFF

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
...I REALLY DID LIKE "MONSTERS, INC"
...SORRY FOR LYING.

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
MY HEAD IS SERIOUSLY WAY TOO SMALL FOR MY BODY.
Yes?
...AND YOURS IS FREAKISHLY HUGE.
Yes?
CAN WE TRADE?
No.

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
CHECK IT OUT
I'M A TOTAL DORK.
NOW WATCH CLOSELY HERE
WHAM!!

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
FREE ME
I love Thanksgiving!!
FREE ME
The turkey, the family, the togetherness, it's great!!
FREE ME
But my FAVORITE part has to be TORTURING SMALL ANIMALS.

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
Man, I need some more original ideas.

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
I FEEL STUPID AND CONTAGIOUS HERE WE ARE NOW ENTERTAIN US
UHH A MULLATO AND ALBINO AND MESTIZO AND FELLATIO AND CARACCIO AND UHH
UHHH HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
WHY ARE WE COMMUNICATING VIA THE INTERNET EVEN THOUGH WE'RE A THREE FEET AWAY FROM EACH OTHER?
1) WE'RE TOTAL DORKS, 2) BECAUSE WE CAN.

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
Well, well! Time to hit the town!
Perhaps this will be my lucky day!!
You there! I demand you to be in my presence!
Oh, wow.
I forgot it was SHITHEAD NIGHT here at the bar.

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
There's that fine Man-About-Town I've been hearing about! Time to disguise myself!
Hey, sexy!
Who, me?
Yeah! How's about we go back to you place and EAT YOUR SOUL!! Uhh that is to say ENGAGE IN HUMAN INTERCOURSE.
I like the way you talk, lady.

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
Oh, wow! This looks like a great place for ME TO REAP ANOTHER HUMAN FOR THE MASTER. I mean, for uhh us to make out.
Isn't it, though?
I'm going to go get some drinks. Be right back!
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE
Oh, you animal, you!
PREPARE TO MEET BURNING HOT DEATH

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
Well, this is awkward. Where did that fine young lady go?
YOU FOOL. I WAS DISGUISING MYSELF SO I COULD REAP YOUR SOUL FOR THE MASTER.
Well, then. I guess I'm in quite a quirky quagmire. Want to engage in sexual intercourse anyway?
...
AGHAFHLFHF
Perv.

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
hey kids. i'm bobby the clown. ha ha. let us laugh.
YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY
i am entertaining you. you are enthralled by my majestic, hilarious presence.
MY DADDY SAID HE'S GOING TO GET A GOOD CLOWN.
we are laughing. we are having a marvelous time. i am a great entertainer.
THIS IS THE WORST BIRTHDAY EVER

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02

 

by xenogamy
11-19-02
Hi!!
Oh my god! It's Mario!! A DREAM COME TRUE.
My car broke down, can I use your phone??
Sure!! Sure!! Come in!!
Act slowly... don't make it too obvious that we're raping him...

 

by xenogamy
11-20-02
Newton's second law of motion states that if the forces acting upon an object are balanced, the object will not accelerate...
...whereas objects that are being acted upon by unbalanced forces will accelerate.
It is often referred to as the law of in-- OH GOD HELP ME

 

by xenogamy
11-20-02
Newton's third law states that in every interaction, there is a pair of forces acting upon the two interacting objects.
The magnitude of the force on the first object equals the magnitude of the force on the second object.
The directions of the forces are always oppos-- OH GOD NOT AGAIN

 

by xenogamy
11-20-02
Once again, for the 99th episode, the author would like to share some words.
WHAT
THE
FUCK

 

by xenogamy
11-22-02
FOR THE 100TH EPISODE, YOU KNOW THE DRILL
"WELL, MAYBE IT'LL HAPPEN BY THE 100TH EPSIODE, BUT I'M NOT COUNTING ON IT."
SO!! HERE I AM.

Showing page 2.

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