All comics by zegonsn

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by zegonsn
12-07-03
These characters were disgruntled about not being in the 50th comic
Nobody loves me!
Eh, who am I kidding? I don't enjoy smiting evil because I'm good or anything... I just enyoy smiting!
So they get the honor of being in the 51st comic
All I have to keep me company is myself
We'll see how long that lasts... I say, old bean, have you seen my skinning knife?
Which is, after all, a bigger number then 50
I still think that, somehow, the 51st isn't as good as the 50th...
Eh, shut yer mouth. Only about three people are reading this, and that includes the author.

 

by zegonsn
12-07-03
OMG!!!! I WASN'T GOOD ENUF FOR TEH 51ST COMIC EVEN! OMG!!!
LOL i will hunt them all down 1 by 1... starting with the zombies!
I should really watch who I'm talking to.

 

by zegonsn
12-07-03
Remember the informant who led you to the Head Alien? We need you to go see him.
But sir-
GO!
oh crap
OMG!!!11!! ITS U!!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOL WWW>DICTIONARY.COM U n00b!!!

 

by zegonsn
12-07-03
Remember the robot that led you out of the city?
Yes, Head Alien!
We have attached a tracking device to him. We want you to go and meet up with him.
This will not end well...
Is that a tracking device?
OMG!!!

 

by zegonsn
12-07-03
Holy crap! It's the Informant!
OMG!!!1!!111
And he has led me directly to that scummy human
Holy Crap!!! The Informant led me directly to the Alien!!!
LOLOLOL!!!

 

by zegonsn
12-07-03
Finally! After all this time... I have you in my clutches!!! ... um ... what do I do now?
I dunno, none of us has ever actually succeded before
Yeah, no one was prepared for this
Well this is akward
Quite

 

by zegonsn
12-07-03
OMG!!11!!!! u n00bz!!!! LOL!!!
I think the gun says enough
Righto... of course... Yes, well, I belive you take him to the Alien Testing Lab, three feet to your right
Gah!!! NO! I had him!!!

 

by zegonsn
12-07-03
Yippie! A letter!
It says: Dea-
I'll be taking that!
He could have at least let me read it!

 

by zegonsn
12-08-03
I must restrain myself from killing him for a miniscule amount of XP
And so I actually followed him into the zoo, but then he tried to stop me with the gate. Hiting him with the stick, I tried to climb the wall
I mean, he's my friend, and it would be socially unacceptable. Plus who knows what level he is, for all I know, he could rend me with ease!
Well, my arm decided to fly off right about then, but luckly I was witin reach of it. After grabbig it, I saw that he was now at the giraffe pen
oops!

 

by zegonsn
12-08-03
Am I in limbo again?
Greetings, and welcome to the afterlife!
Who are you?
I am the Guardian of the Gate. I wait to welcome all who are sent to my realm. But we have buisness to discuss. Let me change into my true form
Righto, ready?

 

by zegonsn
12-09-03
You you are going to be here essentially forever
Really now? What do you fo for fun around here?
Forums... just forums...

 

by zegonsn
12-09-03
I don't want to stay in the Afterlife forever
FORUM:Chicken owners discussions
All they have to do is forums...
OMG! I LOVE CHICKENS!!!
And not even good ones!
mine is bloodthirsty-any tips

 

by zegonsn
12-09-03
Hm.... I have to find my way out of here... But how to escape?... Wait... I think I remember something...
NO! FOR THE LAST TIME, THERE IS NO WAY OUT!!! But we do have a mystic portal that will allow you to contact those below...
THIS SIGN SAYS: The mystic, oh-so-spooky portal
Cheapasses

 

by zegonsn
12-21-03
With a cry of "AVAST!", I jumped down off the rafters and broke my spine.
Damnit! I can't think up a suitable punchline!!
Don't worry. It happens to the best of us

 

by zegonsn
12-22-03
Well, I'm being held prisoner by the Upperclass Theif. He's taken everything I have
I've only got myself to keep me company...
Good news! I found my skining knife!
Well that didn't last long
Stay still now, will you?

 

by zegonsn
12-22-03
There you are!
And there you are!!! Too long have I chased you. It is time for a showdown. A fight to the death! It ends here!
...Oh no! I'm unarmed! What the hell was Command thinking when they sent me out here?...
Flashback to the date of the assignment
Why did you just give me this bag of "crunch 'n munch" brand cheesy confections?
I sure do love my "crunch 'n munch" brand cheesy confections...

 

by zegonsn
12-22-03
I am a messenger from Command. I bring terrible news: The Captain has died, along with 50% of the staff
What? How did they-
"crunch 'n munch" brand cheesy confections. They ate too many.
That must have been unpleasent
The remaining 50% are morbidly obese

 

by zegonsn
12-22-03
In other news today, a top secret government orginization is suing the "crunch 'n munch" corporation because
the fat in their snacks killed 50% of their workers, and the rest are morbidly obese. Here is exclusive footage from the trial
Your fattly snacks devistated our workers! Look at me! I'm the only one who can both lift my own weight and fit though the doors!
Why didn't you stop eating them when you noticed you were eating too many?
Because they taste sooo good!
So would you prefer we make snacks that taste awful?

 

by zegonsn
12-31-03
Rip Van Gnome- Part One!
Ah... New Year's eve!
1 hour to midnight!
wonder...ful.... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
60 seconds to midnight
zzzzz- huh? What?
It's 2004!

 

by zegonsn
12-31-03
The continued adventures of Rip Van Gnome!
I say, that was quite a slumber I just had there. Say, boy, what day is it?
New Years, 2004
New Years Eve, 2004?! I slept through a whole year?! Oh my!
You only slept for 50 seconds
OH MY GOD! I'VE GOT A BEARD!!!
New Years DAY

 

by zegonsn
12-31-03
Rip Van Gnome: The Gnome who slept 50 seconds
So, what happened in the year I slept through? It appears that you have developed some sort of international ID, looking at the numbers on your shirt.
It's January First, 2004, not December 31st, 2004!
AND you've revolutionized the old sysyem of years, months, and days! Amazing!

 

by zegonsn
1-01-04
Happy New Year!
He couldn't stay awake... Good thing too, or I would have been fried
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
not again...
Turn around now... I command you to tuuurrrnnn arrouuuunnnddd!!!
This New Years party is awful
Hmm... You all apear to be just as stuipd as you were before I fell asleep.

 

by zegonsn
1-01-04
What are you doing?
Eating. Man, the food here is awful!
That's because you're eating your own arm
Really? Oh. Well, I started gnawing my arm of because I was so bored, but then I kind of just forgot...
Come on guys... The food is over there.
That table? The stuff on that table is food? That's... that's... ugh.
I'll stick to my arm, thank you.

 

by zegonsn
2-09-05
Greetings, respected readers!
Yes, greetings!
It is our sincere pleasure to inform you that zegonsn has returned from his hiatus in a russian prison cell!
So, the comic is back!
Well, sorta... admittidly the whole cast of the comic have either quit or been killed in a terrble breadmaker accedent at their in-laws...
Poor snowman... you were too beautiful for this world...

 

by zegonsn
2-09-05
Greetings! I am PENGOR THE MIGHTY, the new STAR of this comic! Prepare to be amused as I juggle my internal organs!
This is a feat that would kill a weaker penguin... nay, even a stronger penguin then I would be felled by this feat of darining-do!
Hey Pengor, I've rehired the old cast!
No need to remove my organs then!
Aww.... but I wanted to see him do it!

 

by zegonsn
2-09-05
Hey! I'm rereading the comic so I can figure out exactly what we do here
Ah, smashing! When you get a chance, tell me what my role is
hm... it looks like we're supposed to have a punchline
Oh, drat!

 

by zegonsn
2-09-05
Sigh... this is dull...
Hm.... we need something to kick us back into shape.... Hm.. Perhaps a random act of violence should get things started!
HYPNOBEAM!
BZAP!
sigh...
Drat! It didn't work! It looks like I'll need to try again!

 

by zegonsn
2-09-05
HYPNOBEAM!
BZAP
BZAP
HYPNOBEAM!
HAHAHA!!!!
I belive we need to have that disscusion about what the acceptable uses of the hypnobeam are again

 

by zegonsn
2-09-05
You have a great gift in your hypnobeam, upperclass theif! It is a gift, however, that brings with it something else - Responsibility!
What am I... a child?
You must think, question, look deep inside yourself - what will be the effect of my actions. Will my wanton use of the hypnobeam make me someone I don't want to be?
This is an outrage! Who is he to enforce his personal views of right and wrong on me?
Here to teach you more about responsibility is Melbo the Delightful Puppet!
Good Lord!

 

by zegonsn
2-09-05
Good e'en, sir! My name is Melbo the Delightful Puppet! I would like to teach you, good friend, a little more about responsibility! Let's sing the "responsibility is fun song!"
This has gone far enough!
BZAP
HYPNOBEAM!
. . .I don't think you were listening

 

by zegonsn
2-09-05
Do you have any idea where we are?
Yes, you see, I thought the comic was somewhat dull before, so I decided I'd make a few changes
Like bringing us to this rainbow-infested nightmare?
Yes... and I've replaced you with a swarthy mexican!
hehehe.... swarthy mexicans are comedic gold!
Why do I think in English?

 

by zegonsn
2-09-05
And now... The Paco and Sanchez show!
Wait... which one am I supposed to be again?

 

by zegonsn
2-09-05
Quickly Sanchez! Read me the coordinates of the launch device!
Oh, wait, that's me. Sorry... ok... Ahem: BUT PACO WHATERVER SHALL WE DO?
Perhaps this job isn't worth ten cents an hour after all...
wait.. wrong line... lesee here.... paco look out... curse your bones sanchez... ah! Here we are! No... wait...

 

by zegonsn
2-09-05
What happened to Paco?
Oh, he wasn't working out
So you fired him?
Not exactly...
MADRE DE DIOS!
CONSUME! CONSUME!

 

by zegonsn
2-10-05
I'd like to order some beef please
Sure, let me get some
Alright... beef... beef... here is i- PA? IS THAT YOU?
Perhaps I should go

 

by zegonsn
2-10-05
SIR, I HAVE FINISHED WASHING THE DISHES. NOW MAY I HAV MY PROGRAMMING UPDATE?
Yeah, I'll do that in a second. Lemme just finish this level of RoboHunters
ROBOHUNTERS?
Haha! Take this ya stupid robots!
AHH! THE HUMANITY!!!

 

by zegonsn
2-10-05
YOU MUST PAY FOR THIS SENSELESS MASSACRE OF MY PEOPLE
No! Wait! It's just a game!
RECENT STUDIES HAVE SHOWN THAT THOSE WHO PLAY GAMES INVOLVING KILLING ROBOTS ARE 6 TIMES MORE LIKELY TO KILL ROBOTS IN REAL LIFE
What?! But.. but that's-
THERE ARE NO EXCUSES! PREPARE TO BE SLAUGHTERED!
Aww...funkmonkeys

 

by zegonsn
2-10-05
10 Rabbit furs?! I need to kill 10 of you for this quest? Come on, you're RABBITS!
What's wrong with rabbits?
Well... they're not really a challenge
There! THIS should be a little more challenging!
I hate you

 

by zegonsn
2-10-05
Sigh... being an uneployed mouse is tough. Especially wheen my bumbling was the reason I lost the job.
Poor Paco... he really needed that job. I feel kinda bad because I lost him a job too. I wonder where he is right now...
CONSUME! CONSUME!
AAAAH! DIOS MIO!

 

by zegonsn
2-10-05
I say old bean! You never did tell me exactly what my role in this comic was!
Oh yeah, sorry. You were an elderly, kindly British Gentleman who was always helping his friend, a little blue and white guy, by showering him with gifts.
Really? That doesn't sound like me at all... how peculiar!
Alright, pay up

 

by zegonsn
9-20-06
It's like, I don't even understand why I am here, or what it even means to "be here"... I mean, what if I'm just a brain in a vat? Could life even have a purpose?
yes
ok

 

by zegonsn
9-20-06
Hmm... ok, truth
LOL KK... WHAT IS THE MOST SHAMEFUL SITUATION U HAV BEN IN///?
Oh dear.... I seem to have left my wallet at home and all I've got's two doll-
OK, OK! I'll do it for two! Just... don't make me look... please
There was this one time my bathing suit slipped off in a public pool
LOL!1!@2 HUMILIATION!!!

 

by zegonsn
4-15-07
Man I am hungry... I wonder if Dad's done making dinner
Sorry, I'm still short three monkeys and a bellydancer
Ok
How do I walk in this thing?

 

by zegonsn
4-15-07
I wonder what's outside that door... we're never aloud outside....
The door? That's where mommy is.
She's still a mutant, isn't she?
I wish we had a TV or something...

 

by zegonsn
4-15-07
Post Apocolypica is so boring, especially when you're an infant
I know! I'll invent an imaginary friend! That is what infants do isn't it? Ok, here goes... *hurrkkk*.... *hnnummfff*....
Hours later
*hrrkkk*.... *hnnufff*......... *hblach*............. *hhhyyyrrruuuuuunnnnpphhh*.......

 

by zegonsn
4-15-07
A friend! Hut-cha! woohoo!
Hey, do you want to be friends?
We can play catch with my arm....?

 

by zegonsn
4-15-07
I don't think he sees me... this might actually be it! The culmination of all my efforts!
hmm hm hmmm
Any minute...
doot de doot
Transform, you son of a bitch!
I wonder where Sirus is...

 

by zegonsn
4-15-07
welp, looks like the coast is clear... I'a I'a Extlua f'whulga lgao f'twah!
I knew it!
Time to pick up some chicks... space chicks...

 

by zegonsn
4-15-07
"some chicks... space chicks"... it kinda has a ring to it. I belive I can become a sucessful rap artist!
Want to collaborate with me on my forthcoming hip-space-hopera about chicks coming of age via my pants?
no
speaking of pants, I probably should have worn some

 

by zegonsn
4-16-07
So I'll be running this orientation course for you, Paco. We hope you'll enjoy it here
I'm sure I will. You don't know how much of a blessing this job is
Yes, well, anyways, this will will be your cubicle. It comes with a monitor, keyboard, Zentium P64 PC, printer (with paper) and chair
Ooh... that chair looks comfy...
Wait, wait, isn't this the hundreth comic? Shouldn' we have celebrated or something?!
I think I have a "Cheeto" stuck in my ear, if you want it

Showing page 2.

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