All comics by Makin_d_bacon

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-09-17
Let's go Maura!
Oh no!
Now! Let's move it!
Oh I'm movin it, alright...BIGTIME!
With any luck the tide'll wash it away!
Hey lady, you shit!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-10-17
...Chauvinist Pigs!
Well, if it isn't Harvey Weinstein! How's it hangin, dude?
I'm homeless now, thanks to those crybaby sluts!
Listen Harve, I've always said we men should treat all women with respect.
Oh yeah? Like you do? Grabbin at their pussies & trying to fuck every gash that's old enough to bleed?
You gotta admit they were some pretty high class gashes. Not the bimbo bitches you defiled.
Maybe I wasn't selective enough! Can you believe it? Only the ones over 25 even knew that they were SUPPOSED to swallow!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-11-17
Gee Wally, why do hang out with that Eddie Haskel?
Because, Beave, he does all the fucked up shit we don't get to do!
Ya mean like drugs and bangin bitches?
Don't forget all those kids & pets he's tortured and killed too.
Duane, have you heard Wally and Beaver in the den talking about Eddie?
Yes, I have, June. Come to think of it...Eddie IS pretty darned cool!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-12-17
Something on your mind sweetie?
Yeah Mama...I wanna join the Cub Scouts!
But you're a little girl, honey.
That's no problem. Just have a doctor sew a tiny little cock on me.
No way! You're already too much like your father!
What's that gun for, daddy?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-12-17
OK Miss Jolie, go lay down on the couch!
But Mr. Weinstein, I thought this was an audition?
It IS and I've got lots of other sluts to audition so get naked and lay down...NOW!
Gee! Plastic? On a couch?
One hour later, after Jolie leaves...
Mr. Weinstein, it's me, Gwynith Paltrow. Can I come in now?
Hold on! Don't get them crotchless panties in a bunch. I gotta hose off the couch first!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-13-17
Yo, rags baby, looky here! Pacino & Deniro are doing another "MOB" flick for Marty Scorcese!
They're callin it "The Irishman"!?
"Irishman"? What the fuck?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-14-17
So tell me, what work have you done?
What? You don't recognize me? I'm Frank!
Frank? Frank who?
Frank from "Donnie Darko"!
Oh yeah...the Pooka! There's NO WAY I hire a Pooka...unless, of course he does ANAL!
Then I'M right up your...uh...alley, let's say!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-14-17
Harvey Weinstein? Say, aren't you a Jew?
Yeah...but I gotta cover ALL my bases. I need absolution!
Sister Bambi...show Harvey to our Confessionals!
I'll show the world I'm a changed man!
Follow me, Sir!
Hey...nice tits!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-15-17
Today was horrible & I don't know why!
It's Fri. the 13th, stupid! What else would you expect?
I expect RESPECT, that's what!! You're fired ass-hole. Go collect your final check from "Payroll"!
Fine by me, you dick-wad
So he fired ya, huh, and he's giving you is 2 weeks severance pay? But you don't even work here! You deliver pizzas!
Just hurry it up and make the paycheck out to "Cash"! I'm double parked!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-16-17
Welcome to "Brunhilda's House of the Occult"!
I'd like some "wings of bat", some "eyes of newt" and some "hair of the dog"!
Making a love potion, I take it? Will there be anything else?
Yeah! I also need an industrial sized "Anus Stretcher"!
I'll have to check my stock. I don't sell many of those with "Love Potions"!
I'm tired of my cock gettin all bloody!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-17-17
And what might your name be little fella?
The name is Paddy O'Cult! I'm a freakin Leprechaun, asshole!
Ooooh! That's supposed to scare me? Ya gonna put a curse on me or something?
May all the donuts ya eat turn to blarney stones in yer belly!
In the Police Station Rest Room...
Jesus...these cops are tough! They shit a geodes!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-18-17
Recently, in Las Vegas....
Yes, Im Jesus. Why?
So how many shots did Paddock fire at you in the hallway before he opened up on the crowd below.
I'm Jesus CHRIST!
Oh? Not Jesus Campos, security guard here at the Mandalay Bay Hotel & Casino? Oops...my bad!
I told ya a thousand times...if ya wanna go slummin in Vegas dressed like THAT, stay at The Luxor!
Yadda, yadda, yadda...

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-19-17
That's it! It's finally done!
What's done, Senor?
Building the Border Wall per President Donald Trump, you greasy beaner!
But look! I can just walk around it real easy!
Say wha?
Nevermind, you gringo scab! Muy Bueno!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-20-17
Do inmates in here REALLY have sex with each other, Guard Dave?
Oh, don't you worry about that, guy! Old Dave will see you get treated right!
Good! It's relief to know you're gonna be MY "bitch" in here!
Zat so?
Warden's Office....
Call him that again and and you'll be horizontal instead of vertical!
"Laid back" has to be better than THIS!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-20-17
So THIS is the best you can do?
You said you wanted "scary"! This isn't scary enough? Then come with me.
So? What dya think? Scary, no?
It's a little better but I was wanting something that even scares "GOD"!
NOW yer talkin!
OK, you've seen it. Now let's scram! What lives here gives even ME the creeps!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-21-17
You're early! Just give me a moment.
Ok sis, but I'm running late.
1/2 hour goes by.....
Hey...hurry it up in there! I sware if you weren't my sister I'd have left already!
...and Ted grows even more pensive!
Jesus, sis...just squirt the K-Y up yer pooper & let's get on with it!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-21-17
Excuse me, but I suggest the Ladies Room could use a little freshening up!
OMG...not HER again!
Oh...and I think it would be wise if you breathe through your mouth while in there!
Why ME? Why the "F" ME? The stench from that cute little ass could knock a fly off a shit pile!
So you been chowing down on Maura turds again I see, right?
The "Breakfast of Champions", dude!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-22-17
Auditions for "The Gong Show" which
So you guys are professional "Air-Dick Jerk Offs", huh? What are your names?
I'm Curley.
let's almost ANYONE get "On the Air".
I'm Larry.
Moe, here.
Yes! Even THEM!
Welcome to "the Gong Show" folks! Now let's give it up for ..."The 3 Spooges"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-22-17
So Ted, are we EVER gonna make love again?
Geez...always with the sex, sex, sex!
Married folks are supposed to have sex more than once a year, ya know.
So you wanna monkey around, do you? Well put on your sexiest outfit and wait for a knock on the door!
Ok, Teddy...c'mon in. I got the handcuffs ready for ya!
Hmmm...maybe I shoulda demanded two bananas for this job!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-23-17
Inside Chez ragu/d_bacon.....
What in the hell is "evil_d" doing NOW? Yo'phuthogugl? Hey d-bacon, what's a "Yo'phuthogugl"?
I assume it's somewhat similar to a "Huitzilopochtli"!
I could just shake the holy crap out of that snotty little intellectual!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-23-17
7am & Chen is about to go to work....
So what are you wearing to our Halloween party next tuesday?
I thought I'd go as the "Frankenstein" monster!
but we all know how THAT goes!
The "Frankenstein" monster? Why that?
I just figured it would...
8am at Chen's work, he explains.
It would what? You figured it would WHAT?
I figured it would keep HER from having to buy a costume!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-23-17
Where be me golden doubloons, ya scurvy knave?
Ya ate em all, Cap'n!
I ate me golden doubloons?
Aye Cap'n....you was drunk at "Outback Steak House" and ate em!
I did? I thought that twer a Da bloomin onion?
I'll be gettin the dung beetles fer when them doubloons start to droppin.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-24-17
Look at "Rogues Pierre's" huge boner, daddy!
"Rogues Pierre" has a bone...not a boner, Timmy!
That ain't what that mutt "Fifi" said when he was mounting her in the bushes!
Woof woof, Mon Ami!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-24-17
Abe, did you hear the one about the cheerleaders and...
You better stop it right there, Ted!
Why, boss?
I refuse to listen to any more of your sexist, misogenistic and outright chauvinistic attempts at humor! I'll be in my office!
Will there be anything else before your 11am meeting, sir?
Some titty fucking and a blowjob would be nice!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-25-17
So Timmy, what does your daddy do for a living?
He sits around all day doing nothing on the internet.
Now, now...he could be very productive on the internet!
I don't think so. He gets accused of "doosh-baggery", "faggotry" and "limp-dickishness" as well as "jack-offery" and just plain old "butt-munching"!
That's right, Principal Sanderson! Timmy says his dad is accused of ALL those things on the internet!
Timmy? It's gotta be that Timmy d_bacon, right?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-26-17
I'm about to cast my remake of "IT"! I need a scary clown but I don't want to pay a fortune.
But I'm "Pennywise"! You gotta pick me!
We may as well give up, dude!
I just CAN'T go back to my old job! I do hate it so!
But, as the old saying goes..."A clown's gotta do what a clown's gotta do!"
Welcome to fuckin "Shoe Carnival" ya lil brat!
Hey Bozo, got any "Dominatrix Boots" in children's size 2?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-26-17
What's all that squealing in the barn?
Must be Farmer Rube up to his old antics again!
That ain't natural. It ain't right!
I'm hearin ya buddy...I'm hearin ya! Let's get!
Moments later......
Quit yer bitchin. Ya want KY and a condom? Then next time YOU bring em!
I sense he doesn't love me any more!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-26-17
Hey Tooms, what do ya call a magician who abuses women?
I give up. What?
David Cop-A-Feel!
Uh......He's my boss so I SHOULD laugh but I can't! What to do now?
Get it? Copperfield? COP-A-FEEL? HEY!
Sorry! Gotta pee!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-27-17
What say we go to Catalan on vacation?
You mean Spain, don't you?
You think I don't know my Geography, huh?
Remember Ireland? You were afraid to go there because you thought every one there was angry!
They're NOT? So why do they call it "Ire"-land?
There's a good reason we don't get out much!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-28-17
Ya know Ragsy baby, it's getting harder & harder to find fodder for funny comics.
I'm hearin ya, d_bacon. Just about all that's left is Nancy Pelosi!
Well Anderson...Yabbida,yabbida yabbida, bumpstockidda, moogle gorpidda....
Can I quote you on that?
And I hear she actually said all that live on CNN!
CNN, huh? They still on the air or have both of their viewers died?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-28-17
So George, you're gonna be a clown at the party this Halloween?
Absolutely, Martha! In fact I've already bought our costumes.
What outfit did you get for ME?
I got you a "Hot Cheerleader" outfit with a ponytail wig & all!
The evening of the party......
Like my clown outfit, Martha?
Oh George, this year you've outdone yourself!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-28-17
These news channel pundits are masters of "Pettifoggery" ! Right Rags?
Pettifoggery? Yeah, I guess... whatever!
Screw that little "vocabulary Nazi, linguistic-porkchop, show-off"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-29-17
With ragu4u & makin_d_bacon......
It's Sunday! Ready for Church?
Just about. First I gotta do a little repenting!
...and you're sure that's EVERYTHING?
C'mon J.C.! You know me. May lightning strike me if I'm holding anything back!
That always happens when he repents!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-30-17
Actually, Mr. Spacey...I'd like you to play Keyser Sose in my remake of "The Usual Suspects"!
Will I be in any sex scenes in your version?
I promise you that if there are any sex scenes, I only hire the sexiest starlettes in Hollywood!
Count me out!
I'll hire Anthony Rapp!
Where do I sign?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-30-17
You gonna be hanging around all day?
C'mon...hurry it up! We wanna ride our dune buggies through here & you're a buzz kill!
So I am, am I?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
11-01-17
Hey Jon, can I spend the night here?
Is it because of what I think it is?
You know Chen only too well. *sniff*
Ok,Ok...stop the crying & c'mon in. I'll try & make ya feel at home!
THERE! Ya feel at home NOW!
Do I EVER!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
11-02-17
At Chez ragu/d_bacon.....
Think we should even bother to enter CC: 678?
The one about "Fantasy Football"? We know absolutely ZILCH about Fantasy Football!
And your point is....?
Shouldn't we be able to converse at least on a minimal level of comptency regarding this topic before we attempt to make a comic entry?
If we stuck to THAT criteria we'd never have made ANY comics!
Where's all that "cheering" coming from?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
11-02-17
Somewhere in Madagascar.....
Wanna bite some natives & give em the Plague?
HELL YEAH, but I don't have it yet!
First let me mount ya so you'll get it too!
Hop on, big boy!
So how have our people gotten this Plague?
Entimogically speaking...too many pubic displays of infection!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
11-03-17
Can I be in your film, Mr. Polansky?
I'll let you read for me. Follow me into the next room.
What's THAT for?
It's a "Casting Couch"! What are you...STUPID?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
11-04-17
Even tho ragu4u's loss is inevitable....
So you're looking for books on Fantasy Football?
Yes, I'm enetering a contest of which I know ABSOLUTLEY zilch about it's topic!
On Stripcreator.com, I assume?
You know me only too well, Lady J!
Well enough to know that even every book in here won't begin to help YOU'RE sorry, unfunny and crude sense of comic buffoonery to win ANYTHING, Rags!
I just let her do this to get me all "psyched" up!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
11-05-17
Open up Mr. Spacey. I'd like an interview!
Leave me alone! You bastards are ruining my career!
It's me, Anderson Cooper!
It IS?
Yes it is!
In THAT case, OK! Just give me a moment to get naked!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
11-05-17
Well...if it isn't Steven Seagal! You've kinda chunked up there, big boy!
It's part of my disguise.
You aren't still evading all those Lithuanian Sicarios from the old days, are you?
Worse...Julianna Margulies!
I forgot you were Harvey Weinstein's wingman!
Shit...here she comes!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
11-06-17
Just West of Amarillo, Texas 11/5/17...
I think I hear shootin on the parking lot!
Oh it's just that crazy Devin Kelly guy!
Ya mean that ex air force, athiest screwball?
Yeah...he's always ranting that there ain't no God!
I think maybe I oughta go get my rifle and go introduce him to God!
No, just let him make his noise. He's harmless!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
11-08-17
OK son, relax and read for the part to the best of your ability! The director is on his way!
You mean I don't have to get naked first?
Don't be silly! There are no Harvey Weinstein types HERE!
That's a relief!
Here, you'll be reading for Kevin Spacey!
I'm getting naked!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
11-09-17
Are you the notorious "Sir Cum Size" I've been hearing about?
Yes, my liege! Formerly known as E. Jack Ulation!
Not to be confused with the ever popular "Sir Cums-a-lot"?
May it never be, Sire! However there is yet a third party behind you...
I'm from Tucumcari, New Mexico your kinglyness!
You are henceforth to be know in my realm as "SIR Two-Cum-Carry"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
11-10-17
L.A.Police HQ..........
Thank you Det. Chen for arresting all these abusive Hollywood movie actors & moguls. Women weren't safe anywhere!
Just doin my job ma'am. Just doin...
...my job! At least they'd never bother the likes of...uh...YOU!
Welcome home, babe. Wanna talk about it?
I said too much already!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
11-10-17
Louis C.K. in jail........
So, Mr. C.K....how did you plead?
Not guilty... but I don't think the judge believed me.
Really? Why?
So...you plead "Not Guilty" to Female Abuse, eh Mr. C.K.? By the way...what does "C.K." stand for?
"Cunt Kicker"! Why, Judge?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
11-10-17
Prior to tonight's game....
As Mizzou's Head Basketball Coach, what does Michael Porter's future look like?
Frankly, the sky's the limit!
In the locker room after the game...
And what about Michael Porter NOW?
If he's lucky he can wait tables at "Shakespear's"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
11-11-17
Say wha?
I said..."That'll be $400.00, sir!"
But isn't today "Vets Day"?
"Veteran's Day"...yes it is but you STILL owe $400.00 for your kitten's check-up!
What the hell is Vets Day about if it's NOT about getting a free visit to your Vet?
They need to reinstate the "Draft"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
11-11-17
So...any more questions?
Just one!
Go for it!
Isn't it hard? I mean hard to swing that huge, long, thick shaft around all day and night?
It may sound funny, but... "that's what SHE said!"
Always with the "Michael Scott" impersonations!

Showing page 20.

« Previous Next »