All comics by ralahinn1

Profile

 

by ralahinn1
5-31-18
I say,Percy, did you hear that once again,USA Today has voted Baltimore " the most dangerous city in the US"?
Really? It doesn't surprise me anymore.
Ye ha! Baltimore did it ! I knew they could!
This is great- but the year's not over yet. Go Team Baltimore!

 

by ralahinn1
6-01-18
Hello, I am Mike. 30 years old,and recently evicted from my parent's home-
Any "single women out there,looking for a"special" kind of guy?

 

by ralahinn1
6-02-18
Wasington, DC:Hidden location-
The boss thinks Nancy Pelosi needs to tone it down a bit.
You got it.
Management says "Boney bish" needs a tune-up.
As you wish-
When I said more people should be let into the US, I meant more people need coloringbooks,like I use.Let's send them some!
Preach it , Nancy!

 

by ralahinn1
6-06-18
With the Miss America pagent changing the rules, I can only imagine the new contestants-
Catlin Jenner,what are you doing here?
Probably the same as you,Hillery,looking for an event to win.
Well,this sucks, I'm going for a coffee.
I'm coming too, I'll buy.

 

by ralahinn1
6-06-18
Stand by for Actin News-
This just in a teacher in Philadelphia has been fired for alleged acceptance of bribes for "good grades" -
We sent a team to a local school for their reaction-
Well what do you think of that teacher in Philadelphia?
Daaamn, I wish I thought of dat. I don't think I'd like to be caught,though.

 

by ralahinn1
6-07-18
Sometime,in the near future-
And the winner of the Miss America pagent is-
Thank you- thank you all!
-thank you all!
Hell,dat a female? Well,syit,I gotta go sign the ho up.

 

by ralahinn1
6-08-18
Stand by for Actin News-
This just in, famed tvchef Anthony Bourdain has been found dead of suspected suicide.
We sent a team out to talk with a local chef-
We'd like your opinion chef-
Is there a job offering on that show?
I feel sad now-
Why? You're not famous,chef.

 

by ralahinn1
6-08-18

 

by ralahinn1
6-08-18
-and now,a message from our sponsor-
Howdy,it's almost summer ,and I love enjoying it with a good beer-
I also make sure I'm ready with avisual inspection,and a nice haircut,so I can feel the breezes "down below"-
All clear.
Oh,look,the neighbor's dog is here. Just a reminder,don't run out of beer,and peanut butter- it's almost summer .

 

In Baltimore ,7 people were injured and 2 killed,thanks to shootings over the weekend-
Go Team Baltimore!
by ralahinn1, 6-11-18

 

by ralahinn1
6-13-18
My lord,me thinls Strip creator has been invaded by bots!
Why think you this,sir knight?
Have a look-
Buy your sun glasses here!
Do you have trouble with E.D.? Let us help!
Need help with tests? Come to our link.With a little fee,we'll help you
Want to meet barely legal hot babes? Don't be shy,whip out your credit card, and click here!

 

by ralahinn1
6-14-18
-and now,a word from our sponsor -
Hello,today,we are asking for your help to provide goats to the village for milk and meat for the children
Not you again-
I have nothing bad to say about your drive this year.The goats are entertaining.
Why do I bother-
Tourists pay much to watch the village girls "dance"with the goats. Pictures cost extra.

 

by ralahinn1
6-14-18
What can I do for you?
Bob Corker says Trump supporters act like they're in a "cult".
We want in.
Yes,we want in.
It's not a "cult" ,just good old American Christian values,and common sense. Anyone can try it,even Democrats,like you.

 

by ralahinn1
6-14-18
Tomorrow on Rush-
Well, Comey,they caught you lying to protect Hillery,and accused President Trump of things he didn't do.What do you have to say?
You don't have to speak-
It's fine-
I'm goin' to Didsneyland!

 

by ralahinn1
6-15-18
Stand by, for Actin News-
This just in,after 27 years, the Jerry Springer show is ending production-
We sent a teemout to get interviews-
No! Where will I find my new hos?
After 27 years the Jerry Springer show is ending production-
No! Where will I find someone to represent?!

 

Happy "Most confusing day in Baltimore".
Now wait a minute. I doan have kids-that I know of.
by ralahinn1, 6-17-18

 

by ralahinn1
6-18-18
Stand by for Actin News-
This just in, rapper XXX Tenacion was killed in a drive by shooting a few hours ago-
What is it about rappers and death by drive by shooting?
Go Team Florida!
Go Team Florida!

 

Baltimore just recorded their 132nd murder of 2018. Go Team Baltimore!
Go Team Baltimore!
by ralahinn1, 6-20-18

 

by ralahinn1
6-20-18
I am a youth separated from my parents. I am so lonely.
Aii Chewahwah,will you be my mama?!
Touch me,and you die!
You don't have to get snippy.

 

by ralahinn1
6-22-18
Sometime in the near future-
What is this shyte?
Hey,"language", mister!
I'm not "cussing" I just said the name of a new game out loud after playing the demo. I think the company knows they won't make bank on this,so they phoned it in.

 

Ahoy,matey,batten down the hatches,RCLG is a postin' up a storm again!
Aye,Captain!
by ralahinn1, 6-23-18

 

by ralahinn1
6-24-18
Swab the decks!
Why? They be not filthy?
RCLG was postin'foul things well into the night,Captain wants to be sure nothing is clinging to the ship.
Aye,that sounds wise,I'll get on it-
- and make sure you check the galley,last time the Captain found sumthin'I will not mention there-
You got it,boss.

 

by ralahinn1
6-26-18
Stand by For Actin News-
This just in,the maker's of "Friday the 13th ,the game "say they are no longer releasing new dlc for the game-
We have a video responce to this-
Noooooooooooooo!
Teh humanatee!

 

by ralahinn1
6-26-18
Stand by for Actin News-
Breaking news- there will be another "Royal Wedding" this summer,in the Uk-
Lord Mountbatton is going to marry his partner of 2 years,let's visit the happy couple-
Greetings from across the pond-
I say, thank you for making an honest man out of me,you royal pain in the butt,what what.
-yet we are the ones extinct.

 

Horton hears a hoochi mama-
A person's a person,no matter how slutty-
Ya got that right,my pachyderm buddy.
by ralahinn1, 6-28-18

 

by ralahinn1
7-01-18
I no understand.People protest,and say it's ok to cross the border,but they get mad if we say we would like them to share their houses and hide when we say we need things.Even churches hide.I no like.
Just give it to me damn it.You say it's free!

 

by ralahinn1
7-01-18
A Full 5 Minutes Later.....
All I heard was crickets,rags! Oh...and one HUGE fart, too!
Damn that Maura!
Sorry guys,it was me...
Clean up,row 3!
A murder most foul!

 

The murder rate in Baltimore is now 136 for this year.Go Team Baltimore !
Go Team Baltimore!
by ralahinn1, 7-02-18

 

The Rosedale area in Baltimore County is becoming as bad as Baltimore city when it comes to gun vilolence.
Go Team Rosedale!
by ralahinn1, 7-03-18

 

by ralahinn1
7-04-18
Happy Birthday America,have fun,stay safe.
What,no snide comment this year?
I like him.

 

by ralahinn1
7-04-18
Members of the Maryland Capital Gazette getting ready to march in the Annapolis 4th of july parade-
Keep it moving along.
Ok,repeat after me - a guy we knew was a nutjob shot up our office,have pitty,and send us money.

 

The murder toll in Baltimore this year is now 139,though in truth,one man wasn't shot, but stabbed durring a card game.
Go Team Baltimore!
by ralahinn1, 7-05-18

 

Someone shot a 7 year old girl in a car in Baltimore today,she's barely alive-
I've got a special place for whoever did that.
by ralahinn1, 7-05-18

 

by ralahinn1
7-06-18
Stand by for Actin News-
This just in, Myrtle Beach now tops "The Most Dangerous City in America" list.
What ever will Baltimore say?
You be slackin'.I should slap the black off you,boy!
I'm sorry Unk, I'll do better.I'll go pop caps in a few azz's.
Nooo !
Go Team Myrtle Beach !

 

by ralahinn1
7-09-18
Stand by for Actin News-
Breaking news,we at Actin News ar able to introduce the new Supreme Court Nominee first-
Let's join the broadcast -
-and now,your next Nominee -
I thank you for your nomination, I promise I will serve to the best of my abillities -
-almost immediately ,there are those not liking the choice-
Hell no,doc.
I hope he stays very,very quiet-

 

by ralahinn1
7-10-18
Stand by for Actin News-
Breaking news- some of the people at the US border are not related to the children with them based on DNA testing-
-We will investigate this-
At the border-
Aiii Chiwahwa,what you mean he's not my son? It's not like my wife was the town bicycle,or had an affair with the mailman. My Maria's a good girl.
Don't look at me,I don't know this man,or "Maria."

 

The murder rate in Baltimore is now 150.Go Team Baltimore !
Go Team Baltimore !
by ralahinn1, 7-11-18

 

by ralahinn1
7-13-18
Say,what you doin'there sport?
Weekends coming,getting weddy for Rclg-
Me too!
Me too!

 

Tonight on "Late night" join us, as we interview our special guest, Peter Strzok-
by ralahinn1, 7-13-18

 

Pappy Jones Pizza,comin'to a town near you-
Go sit on the porch, darkey, some one will bring you a slice-
Tell yo boss, he can't be dressin'up ya'll like dis.Ain't he a jew?
by ralahinn1, 7-14-18

 

Recently,a fire crew in Baltimore recorded a suspect hiding a gun.They tried to report it to an officer nearby ,who said it wasn't her district -
Go Team Baltimore!
by ralahinn1, 7-16-18

 

I say, Percy,did you hear the Baltimore police are buying an expensive robot to help with underwater searches?
Really? I'm betting it will be damaged or stolen in a year.
by ralahinn1, 7-19-18

 

I say, Percy, did you hear Baltimore is now forbidden to list soda and "sugary"drinks on children's menues?
Really? I'm sure this will stop inner city crime.
by ralahinn1, 7-20-18

 

The murder toll in Baltimore is now at 159! GoTeam Baltimore !
You almst made it to 200.Go for the gold! You are doing better than the Orioles. Go Team Baltimore !
by ralahinn1, 7-23-18

 

by ralahinn1
7-23-18
I say, Percy,did you hear Hershey Park is closed indefinitely due to flooding?
Really? Guess that means no one will be going down the Hershey Hi-way anytime soon.
Say what?!
Say what?!
Say what ?!
Say what?!

 

by ralahinn1
7-26-18
The "office"of a typical "independent developer"-
Say,did you find that render I was looking for?
Sure did,you think the rez is good enough?
Bitchin'- where do you see us in 20 years,by the way?
-Probably still n a basement pretending to be involved in real game development -
Will beer and weed be involved?
We are "independent developers",aren't we?

 

by ralahinn1
7-28-18
How Hollywood doctors settle grudges-
Nurse,can you send this patient on this list over to Gyn for a pap smear?
I will,but the doctor won't like it.
Have a seat Ms.Jenner.
It could be worse,he could have sent Madonna over again-

 

The murder rate in Baltimore is now at 163.Go Team Baltimore !
Go Team Baltimore! You can make it to 200 this year!
by ralahinn1, 7-30-18

 

Over the weekend 73 people were shot in Chicago ,11 died. Go Team Chicago !
Baltimore , you can learn alot from Chicago .Go Team Chicago!
by ralahinn1, 8-06-18

 

Yesterday someone reported a"suitcase full of bones"in Ocean City,Md.We can't find it now.
Whoopsie
by ralahinn1, 8-08-18

Showing page 20.

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