All comics by DragonXero

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Dammit!
No, wait, this'll work.
by DragonXero, 5-26-05

 

by DragonXero
5-30-05
Hey, glad you could come.
Oh look at the cute little puppy!
Yeah, that's zeke.
Ummm.. Zeke seems to have fallen in love with my leg.
Zeke, you whore.
I usually only get this kind of attention at frat houses.

 

by DragonXero
6-10-05
So how're you?
Bored, as usual. No money for gas and nowhere to go anyway.
God, I hold down two jobs, why can't you just settle and get one?
Well I don-
I mean, jeez, you're never going to get anywhere in life if you don't settle!
I'll be sure to tell Donald Trump, Bill Gates and George W. Bush that. I'm sure they'd all be happier and better off serving burgers.

 

by DragonXero
6-10-05
So, how's the old love life eh?
Meh. Nothing on the horizon for me. I don't really care though.
You know what you need? You ne-
Hey, here's a thought, shut up and let me live my own life.

 

by DragonXero
6-10-05
So what's up? How you doin?
Nothing. I'm bored 'n kinda lonely.
Jesus, you're so fucking negative!
You ask me those questions every time we meet, I always give you the same answer, I'm not negative, you're just masochistic.

 

by DragonXero
6-11-05
You listen to Gamma Ray? That's like a gay christian band. Are you a christian??
It's what I like.
I just hate it when religious people put a bunch of stuff in their songs. That's so gay!
So you hate that Godsmack band you so proudly advertise for on your chest there?
That's... umm.. different. They're WICCAN!
Ah, I get it now. You're trying to say Wicca really ISN'T a religion!

 

by DragonXero
6-11-05
Look man, Christianity is just evil! Wicca has never been involved in mass genocide!
Give it time.
Wicca is all about the peace, man.
Really? You guys base your religion on older pagan religions. Were the Vikings, Romans, Celts or american Indians peaceful?
I refuse to answer that.
On the grounds that it'll make you look like an idiot? I understand.

 

Dammit son, what the hell is your problem?
The voices told me to do it.
by DragonXero, 6-11-05

 

by DragonXero
6-15-05
So, how the hell do we play this game?
I don't know. I can't read this stuff. It's all in Japanese.
Dude, do your homework. That's Korean.
Japanese, Korean, whatever. It's all gook to me.

 

by DragonXero
6-21-05
Well hi there Spankling. How are y-
Mistress Ivy! [grovel]
Well, I'm not going to complain.
You have a spot on your shoe, mistress, let me lick it off! [grovel]

 

by DragonXero
6-21-05
I thought you said you didn't like lesbian porn?
No, I said I don't like lesbians. Lesbian porn is like solo porn, only with two women instead of one. I could care less about the interaction.
Well what about straight porn?
Porn is porn. Unless there are midgets, donkeys and acrobats involved. Then it's art.

 

by DragonXero
6-21-05
Oh, whoa, hey, I thought you didn't like lesbian porn?
Didn't I already cover this? Jeez, would you hold on a sec? I'm having a "moment" with my DVD player here.
But... GAH! Is that chick.. a.. a..
Tranny? Yep. She's got a bigger one than you do probably.
You're not...
Gay? Hah, nope. I'm just comfortable enough in my sexuality to watch a woman getting banged by another woman. With a cock.

 

by DragonXero
6-21-05
I guess this isn't so.. GOOD LORD, THAT'S TWO TRANNIES FUCKING!
Hah, yeah. This is hillarious!
Ugh, dude, this is gay porn.
Not exactly. You watch lesbo porn, right?
Well, yeah.. but...
Well, I'm watching lesbo porn too, except their strapons are organic.

 

by DragonXero
6-21-05
I-
Affleck, you mention Cool World and I swear to fucking GOD I'm gonig to give you shit about Reindeer Games, Phantoms and Jersey Girl.

 

by DragonXero
7-01-05
Good sir, will you direct me to the nearest catholic school?
Catholic school? You sick freak. You just wanna hump the hotties there.
... You know too much. I must now disembowel you and choke you on your own intestines!
Hey man, don't fuck with me! I've got friends! Invisible ones!
I shouldn't have mentioned the invisible part, huh?

 

by DragonXero
7-01-05
Look man, just calm down, we just nee-
CALM DOWN? HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO CALM DOWN? THERE'S A DEAD NIGGER IN MY GARAGE!
Just, give us some time to clear things up, everything will be fine.
Everything will be FINE?! What the fuck man, I don't store dead niggers! Is there a sign outside that says "Dead Nigger Storage"?
Well, yeah. There is.
Oh, shit. I forgot about that. Carry on.

 

by DragonXero
7-01-05
QUIT DICKING AROUND!
What SHOULD happen:
OH SHIT! It's DX! We better quit dicking around or we'll be in trouble!
I agree! I fear DX's might and power! He is truly an awesome and powerful man.
What would really happen:
Did you hear something?
It was the wind and nothing more.

 

by DragonXero
7-01-05
I DON'T LIKE YOU, RECRUIT! You're wreckless, headstrong and have no respect for authority!
And you're just a goddamn sycophant who can't get anything his mistress asks done right!
[grovel]
[grovel]
Okay.. that was.. weird.
Yeah. Let's never mention this again.

 

by DragonXero
7-01-05
Oh for... Jesus man, look, how many times do I have to tell you?
Look, look, just hear me out.
I'm listening.
I know you're not really into it, but I'd still really appreciate it if you'd reconsider. I mean, maybe you'll get to like it.
Get to like it? Jesus Christ man, you don't just "get to like" that sort of thing.
Fine, I'll just find someone else to eviscerate preteen girls and use their innards for profilactics with then. I HATE YOU.

 

by DragonXero
7-01-05
Hey baby, I got a ten-spot.
I'm not on the job little buddy.
Oh come on, just a quick hummer behind the bush.
But the President is inside and his car is in the garage!
After a joke like that, I think you should pay ME twenty bucks to blow me.

 

by DragonXero
7-01-05
Says here that's a DG-45, capable of full auto fire as well as three-round burst.
'That so?
Yeah, also says that it's illegal to own anywhere.
Well I'll be damned.
Also says that you should give it to me and stop pointing it at my stomach.
No, I don't think so. And it's not your stomach I'm pointing at.

 

by DragonXero
7-01-05
This is the last fucking time. I ams sick of this.
Either you flush properly, or I'm going to make a big mess in here.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy there. I'll flush! I'll flush!!!

 

Dear sweet Jesus it's hot out here. I'm drying up like a fish out of water!
Oh quit your bitching, my dick just melted off and I can't feel my legs anymore.
by DragonXero, 7-01-05

 

by DragonXero
7-01-05
GAAAAH! It's a flaming bush in a cave!!
BEHOLD! I AM THE GOD ALMIGHTY! I AM HE WHO IS KNOWN AS "I AM!"
Oh. Never mind, I thought the president was on fire again.
'sokay. He thinks he's me anyway, I'll let it slide this time.

 

by DragonXero
7-01-05
Frozenman! We must leave immediately!
W-w-w-what is w-w-w-wrong, D-d-d-ropman?
Knock of the stuttering. We have to save the world again.
Right. Sorry. FREEZE POWERS ACTIVATE!
...Dude. You don't have "freeze powers". You're just frozen.
SHUT I! I CAN DREAM IF I WANT TO!

 

by DragonXero
7-01-05
Mr. Bunny, you are under arrest for HWI (Hopping while Intoxicated) and hopping without a license.
What? I need a license to hop?
In this county you do. You are also being charged with child endangerment.
I swear to god I didn't know those 20 bunnies were in the car!
Car? Bunnies? I was talking about offering carrots to a minor. You sick fuck.
It's about this time Porky would come in and say "That's all, folks".

 

by DragonXero
7-01-05
ONWARD TO VICTORY!
But Mr. Cheney... I...
I TOLD YOU TO CALL ME CAPTAIN AMERICA!!!
Looks more like Red Skull to me.
I can read your thoughts soldier.
And I can read the serial number on your cybernetic parts. Who cares?

 

by DragonXero
7-03-05
Mmm, hey, whoa, heeyyyy now, that's not... whoa... this is unexpected!
*tee hee* *giggle* I can't believe this, you are wayy too young for me...
That was fun... I gotta go though. Nice meeting you...
Heh, same here.
... Dude, I had invited her to the party.
Y- guh? Oh shit, sorry man. Well... don't worry, it's not sloppy seconds if the guy before you just made out with her. I thnk.

 

by DragonXero
7-03-05
Hey, can you take us home?
Heh! Well sure! You ready to go? Wait... us?
Oh. Crap.
Yeah, I think we're ready.

 

by DragonXero
7-03-05
Well we're back in Orland... Hey, would you mind going out to a movie with me sometime?
I dunno, I think I wanna just do some group stuff rather than dating right now, but we can hang out with the married kids.
I think she digs me!
Ugh, good god. He just finished making out with some heroin chick and now he's hitting on me. I hope he doesn't come hang out with us...

 

by DragonXero
7-14-05
How are you gentlemen.
No. Please... don't....
You are on the way to destruction.
Dear god, just stop, stop before...
All your bass are belong to us.
AAAAUUUGGGHHH! MY EARS ARE BLEEDING!

 

by DragonXero
7-15-05
Howdy.
Yeah, what do you think you're gonna do with that? Huh?!
Shotgun vasectomy.
AAAAAAAHHHH!!! MY NADS!

 

by DragonXero
7-15-05
GYAAAAAAAHHH!!!
AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
COME BACK! I promise! I just want a little nibble!

 

by DragonXero
7-16-05
In this special PSA, I'd like to admonish idiots in grocery stores who can't use common sense and logic. Just stick to the right of the aisle, like when driving.
This is an important issue! Some people aren't there to shop, they're there to get what they need and leave!
I just wish people would get out of the center so I can get my damn food.
Somehow I manage to avoid this problem, personally. But then there's all the screaming.

 

by DragonXero
7-18-05
I am incredibly offended at the racist comics here!
Yeah, so am I. What's your point?
But, you made some of those racist comics!
Actually, if you read between the lines, I made comics that make fun of racism.
STOP SAYING THE WORD N@$$#!
Oh, allow us all to change just for you.

 

by DragonXero
7-18-05
You're all just mad that I came and broke up the racism club!
Okay, fine, you're right. We'll all stop making black jokes.
Good, I'm sure this will-
Just like we stopped making gay jokes when Choad came around. Because he loves it when people act differently around him!

 

by DragonXero
7-22-05
We are joined.
Sodomy.
We are seperated.
Sodomy.
We are together.
MANRAPE!

 

by DragonXero
7-22-05
Like, oh my GAWD! Like, my boyfriend, totally turned off my Britney Spears to listen to his Iron Maiden garbage!
That is like, totally not cool. My boyfriend totally switched off my Christina Agulera to listen to his Exhumed!
That is so totally lame. Hey, wait, like, you like Christina Agulera?
She's like, the new Britney Spears. I totally still like Britney, but she's getting TOTALLY old now.
That is, like, totally true. But at least it's not like, growling stuff. What's that Exhumed band talk about anyway?
Like, my boyfriend says that it's totally about fucking women with staplers.

 

by DragonXero
7-23-05
Three for the kings of the elves high in light...
Wait... why are we trusting Suaron again?
Seven rings to the Gnomes, in their halls made of stone...
It's too fucking big to even fit on my wrist! Sauron, you dick!
Nine to the mortals... which cry...
*sob* I don't wanna get married again!
It's a ring of power, you dildo. God, and I thought the river folk were retarded.

 

by DragonXero
7-26-05
(Sorry Lara... )
Thank you, Lesbian Woman, for helping me move that large tree! You are truly a great friend and I enjoy your company.
Aww, well you're welc-
Don't touch me.
But I just wanted to hug you! What's wrong with that?
Hug?! That would be completely gay.

 

by DragonXero
7-26-05
Heya Choad! Nice to finally meet ya. I don't think I wanna hug you though. That would be a little.. gay.
So?
DAMN YOU AND YOUR LOGIC! Fine. A. Hug. Then we watch men in tight clothing jump on top of eachother for two hours.
Dude, I told you, I'm not like that. I hate football.

 

by DragonXero
7-26-05
It's, it's not that I hate lesbians. I really don't. They're just people like you and me.
They don't do any harm, really. It's just, see, I like sex.
JamesNeedsSex.org/switch
And, and you damn lesbians. YOU'RE MOCKING ME! I CAN FEEL IT! *sobs*

 

by DragonXero
7-26-05
*squeak*
My, you're an odd little duck.
Yeah, but that's just because when I grow up, I'm going to be a big, beautiful, black swan.
Huh?
WHERE ALL THE WHITE DUCKS AT?

 

by DragonXero
7-26-05
I'm small now, but I'm drinking milk!
And that means I'm growing healthy, strong bones!
Speaking of bones, Jesus Christ! HEY TIMMY! CHECK OUT THE SIZE OF MY PECKER!!

 

by DragonXero
7-26-05
So, we had a couple days to g- Oh man, would you look at the way that girl is dressed?
YOU FUCKING SLUT! YOU SICKEN ME!
Oh god! [grovel]
... What the hell was that?
Sorry, reflex.

 
by DragonXero, 7-26-05

 

by DragonXero
7-26-05
Hey, a zombie! I can test my pet theory now.
BRAAAAINS!!
Nachos?
BR-BR-Nachos?
As I suspected all along.
DUUUUUDE!! NAAACHOOOS!!

 

by DragonXero
7-28-05
I'll have the veggie sub and a side of bacon with a glass of whiskey on the rocks.
Um, I'll have the ribeye with a glass of red wine and a side of small order of baked potato.
Wow, you really know how to order!
Well yes. Being able to order well in a restaurant makes me a connoisseur.
So what do my choices make me?
A walking contradiction.

 

by DragonXero
7-30-05
Alright!! A crate of non-perishable food and desalinizers! THREE CHEERS!
HIP HIP-
God I hate you so fucking much.

 

by DragonXero
7-30-05
Uh, dude, are you okay? *nudge*
OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT! HE'S DEAD!
... Well, better make a good situation out of a bad one. Good thing they sent steak sauce.
I'm not dead yet!

Showing page 21.

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