All comics by ralahinn1

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Well,check it out,you hooked another one!
Yay!
by ralahinn1, 8-08-18

 

by ralahinn1
8-10-18
Bringing in the cheese, bringing in the cheese -
That's not how the song goes-
Look, you bring in what you want-I like cheese-
Mind your manners,or I'm bringing in the cat-

 

The murder rate in Baltimore is 82. Go Team Baltimore!
You are almost at 200! You can do it! Go Team Baltimore!
by ralahinn1, 8-16-18

 

Today in Virginia, an argument about Aretha Franklin caused shooting. Go Team Virginia!
Go Team Virginia! Add to the memory of Aretha Franklin!
by ralahinn1, 8-16-18

 

by ralahinn1
8-17-18
At a hidden location -
Well, it's been just over a year now since a Baltimore work crew removed us from Wyman park in the middle of the night- what news?
Black on black crime still goes on.Almost 200 murders this year,and 9 robberies last weekend.
What? Removing Confederate memorials didn't stop black thuggary in Baltimore?
Apparently no.

 

A correction -
Recently, I said the Baltimore Murder rate was 82, I meant 182,it maybe more by now-
Woo, I was worried ! Go Team Baltimore-hit that magic 200! I know you want to!
by ralahinn1, 8-17-18

 

by ralahinn1
8-19-18
Online virtual dating-fantasy verses reality-
You know, we have been playing this game online for 2 years now, we should meet in rl.
What if we don't like each other?
Seriously? You ask this after 2 years?
The arrangements are made and-
OMG!Flowers,for me?
Sure,why not-gaming later?

 

by ralahinn1
8-20-18
I'm on my way to the far away village we help to see if there have been improvements .Do they have clean water? Has the goat arrived to give fresh milk? Your monthly gift of $20 helps-
No-
Don't go today,funny man.My brother is visiting his new girlfriend-
Dat strange man say 5 dalla get me anyting. I love yu long time.
food?

 

by ralahinn1
8-20-18
-and now, a word from our sponsor -
Yo,y'all know me,an what I offer. Dis week end, fo Areatha,an' Al Sharpton, we's having a RESPICT weekend
Isn't it R-E-S-P-E-C-T?
If you smoke enough weed like Brother Al, it's RESPICT.Now, get busy, a customer just arrived-
Fill me in later,then.
Well den,come visit us dis weekend,and get some RESPICT.

 

by ralahinn1
8-22-18
Stand by for Actin News-
Recently,Baltimore Bike Share closed after years of theft and vandalism. The company that replaced them is now reporting theft and vandalism.
We now go to a local person who ends this story best-
It's Baltimore, bidness as usual.

 

I say, Percy, did you hear that researchers say that infant feces are a good source of probiotics?
Really? Sounds like they're full of sh- oh never mind, too easy.
by ralahinn1, 8-24-18

 

by ralahinn1
8-25-18
Stand by for Actin News-
Many are morning tonight, as news of Senator McCain's death goes over the airwaves.
We sent a crew out to hear from the people.
Even though it's not related to him, I'm eating McCain's Pizza tonight to remember him.
I'm eating Planter's nuts fo' the same reason.

 

you hear about that nut that shot up that videogame tournament in Florida?
Yeah, he wasn't even playing Cod or GTA- what's wrong with people?
by ralahinn1, 8-27-18

 

by ralahinn1
8-27-18
Early September,2018-
So, McCain is buried,and the media hype is dying down. Time to take a trip to Annapolis. Is everything ready?
Yes sir, we got the "sample" from a homeless man. It would be hard to trace-
A short drive down the beltway later-
Ok,deliver the "package".
Yes sir.
Somewhere below-
It's raining again -
Damn it! I know where we are,but why do we have to suffer because of you. Just how many people did you piss off?!

 

The murder rate in Baltimore is 190. C'mon on, only 10 away from 200. Go Team Baltimore!
Summer's not over yet! I believe in you! Go Team Baltimore!
by ralahinn1, 8-29-18

 

Some time in the future -
This week on "Svengoolie",we welcome our guest co-hostess, Hillery Clinton-
During the breaks, I'll read exerpts from my book,and why I'm running again in 2020.
by ralahinn1, 8-29-18

 

by ralahinn1
8-30-18
Stand by for Intergalactic news-
This just in,the Federation has sent a video about someone accused of sexual assault.
Let's go see the video of this shameful creature-
Ms. Bleebloop, can you point out to the court the man who "sexually assaulted" you?
I swear it was consensual!

 

I think mistakes were made in that last comic-
Whoopsi!
by ralahinn1, 8-30-18

 

Some kids growing up in the 1970's
It's 10:00 do you know where your children are?
Yeah, I'm doin' your wife!
by ralahinn1, 8-30-18

 

You look pretty content, what have you been up to?
They were loading John Mc Cain's casket for the drive to the airport and I wizzed on the gurney
by ralahinn1, 8-30-18

 

by ralahinn1
8-30-18
We Haulz Junk. Point at something you don't want anymore,and me and my lazy brother-in-law will help make it disappear.
Well-check that out.
Sometime later-
I didn't kill my husband, I just pointed like the man on the radio said, and he vanished.
Tell it to your lawyer in the morning, and see if he can get you into a psychiatric unit.

 

by ralahinn1
8-31-18
Stand by for Actin News-
This just in-Maryland announces they finished the "fiscal" year with a 504 million dollar surplus-
We sent a crew out to talk to people in Baltimore-
504 million dollar surplus? Ain't no way dat's right.Someone in Baltimore government isn't griftin' enough.

 

The murder rate in Baltimore is 199! Go Team Baltimore !
Hit that magic 200-we have a great chance at 300 by years end!
by ralahinn1, 9-04-18

 

You did it! The murder rate in Baltimore is at 200!
Go Team Baltimore! Make it 250!
by ralahinn1, 9-05-18

 

by ralahinn1
9-05-18
Are you struggling to pay bills while you have a case in court? Let us help.
-Disclamer- We choose not to serve Clients in Maryland,New York, or Illinois -
Why the hell you on tv in dis area den?!

 

Go away!
You made a mistake in the last comic.
by ralahinn1, 9-05-18

 

by ralahinn1
9-06-18
Stand by for Actin News-
Breaking news-Actin News has discovered who the anonymous writer of the anti-Trump op-ed is !
We sent a crew to talk to him-
Hello,we would like to talk to you about the op-ed?
I did a boom boom in my nappy-

 

by ralahinn1
9-06-18
And now a word from our sponsor-
People think that Nike hiring Kapernick was a mistake-
-but really it was part of a grand plan-
The Great NFL Burn!
Come on down and sacrifice your Nike's! No more taking a knee-
Make football great again!

 

Early this morning,Ol'Blah-blah gets ready to campaign for the Mid-term elections.He's not running,he just likes to stir the pot-
Make sure you packed my hay this time,we all know you need me along.
by ralahinn1, 9-07-18

 

by ralahinn1
9-13-18
Stand by for Actin News-
Breaking News- Porn star "Stormy" Daniels is getting ready to publish a book-
We sent a team out to interview her-
-and now,the question everyone wants to know-will it have crayons?

 

The murder rate in Baltimore is 211
Go Team Baltimore. You can make it 300 before years end!
by ralahinn1, 9-21-18

 

by ralahinn1
9-22-18
Stand by for Actin News-
Breaking news,Hillary Clinton wants to make a statement concerning Kavanaugh's accuser-
We se t a team out for an interview -
Dr.Ford is a respectable woman,and her rape allegation must be heard!
You mean like those of your husband's accusers?
This just in,one of our reporters was found deceased in a local park,hands bound behind his back,and with 3 bullet wounds to the back of his head.
The official coroner's report states it was a death by "suicide".

 

Possibly soon-
No, Mr.Cosby,I do not want to see your "Chocolate puddin' pop".
by ralahinn1, 9-24-18

 

The FBI just voted Baltimore the #1 murder city in the US!
We're #1,we're #1!
by ralahinn1, 9-25-18

 

by ralahinn1
9-25-18
At a local radio station-
I think are ratings are going down,we had to change our format,because some of our talent died,retired, or left to run for political office-
Are you running more syndicated programs,religious programs ,and informercials?
We are,but several more of our people may die,retire or run for political office- what then?
Run more informercials?
Ok-but I think our clients don't believe our "honesty"anymore-

 

I keep hearing that they want to probe some human named "Kavanaugh".Why no one call me?
by ralahinn1, 9-25-18

 

*Future Prediction*this Thursday - Waiting for Kavanaugh's accusers to show up-
by ralahinn1, 9-25-18

 

Tomorrow -
Ladies and gentlemen, Ringling Brothers may be closed,but I'd like you to put your hands together for the shenanigans and illusions of the Democrat party!
by ralahinn1, 9-26-18

 

The 2019 Emmy Awards-
Democrats,and those too drunk or stoned to care what they are watching,may I present Professor Christine Ford-
You like me! You really like me!
by ralahinn1, 9-27-18

 

by ralahinn1
9-29-18
Since the FBI has been called to investigate Kavanaugh, Democrats are calling for them to investigate you for "farting".
I say again,it was the dog.
He did fart- I was there-
Go away!

 

by ralahinn1
9-29-18
Say, I've noticed you hanging around the hearings lately,what's up?
Waiting for Nancy Pelosi and Dianne Finestine
-oh,and Bill and Hillary,if they stop by^_^

 

Just saw a post on Facebook from a local radio station,that 13 people were murdered in Baltimore last week.
Dang! Keep up the good work! Go Team Baltimore!
by ralahinn1, 9-30-18

 

An *update*-
I heard on the news this morning that the total people murdered last week was 17,including people killed over the week end.
Go Team Baltimore!
by ralahinn1, 10-01-18

 

In Baltimore,a policeman on overtime duty, was caught drunk,and promptly fired.There is only one choice for him now-
Welcome to Hazzard !
by ralahinn1, 10-04-18

 

Recently a Baltimore Police officer got upset with proceedure,threw a chair against the wall,and resigned.
by ralahinn1, 10-05-18

 

by ralahinn1
10-06-18
Did you hear the news? They are making "Rambo 5" and he's a cowboy this time!
Oh,good, I loves me some cowboy!
Don't look at me like that.
What? I said nothing.

 

by ralahinn1
10-06-18
"Ompa- loompa - loopity-loo, if you are listening,this song is for you-"
Not this-
"Roar-smash!"
Hey,"Godzilla destroys the Chocolate factory" isn't bad!

 

by ralahinn1
10-09-18
Call us,we're rhe partner men can count on-
I wonder about a divorce lawyer that says his firm only works for men-
Food?
- I mean, suppose it's a "gay" marriage.Which would be the "man"?
-or a "lesbian" marriage? Who decides which one is the "man" there?Would he take the case?

 

What's wrong, Bubba? You look really down tonight.
Anthony Weiner may be getting out early for "good behavior".
by ralahinn1, 10-09-18

 

Say,did you see dat new "Donald Trump"football jersey fo'$99? Gonna get one?
Naw,man,gonna wait until I see one at Good Will.
by ralahinn1, 10-09-18

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