All comics by BobRogers

Profile

 

by BobRogers
12-31-07
Best wishes from Stern Shriners for a happy, positive 2008.
Happy New Year from All of us to all of you.
We hope that 2008 will be better than 2007 was for you.
We wish you the best of time in 2008
Happy New year from Canada!
May everything you drink in 2008 be more than 70 Proof.
May none of your pet food in 2008 be from China.

 

by BobRogers
1-01-08
Gargoyle contemplates the meaning of life...
Another year, another dollar.
Literally.

 

by BobRogers
1-03-08
Man, it's cold. I am freezing my huevos off out here in this light sweater.
What do you want me to do about it?
You're the UNION guy. Do some kind of UNION thing and make it BETTER!
I'll see what I can shake loose.
An hour later ...
Wow. I gotta remember to pay my union dues on time this year.

 

by BobRogers
1-04-08
So. Here I am on a warm desert island, far from the ice and snow and wind and freezing rain.
Still, it's kinda lonely here without even a volleyball to talk to.
WHOA! Where's the snow? Um... thanks for the tropical vacation, dude.
Like I always say, The cartoonist makes the rules.

 

by BobRogers
1-05-08
Nick runs an errand, as he was in the neighborhood anyhow...
Dave, you need to stop stealing Bandwidth from Bob's web site.
Piss off. You're not the boss of me.
OK. maybe Photobucket is not such a bad idea. You don't have to get HOSTILE about it, nigfer!

 

by BobRogers
1-08-08
Could you make me an animated sign that says "Closed" for my web site?
Sure. And thanks for asking nicely. But why do you want a "closed" sign for your web site?
So that people can tell when it's open.
But when the sign says "closed," won't the web site still be open for people to see the "closed" sign?
True dat. But when people do not see the "closed" sign, that means that the web site isn't closed, it's open.
I'll get started right away. Those rotor blades aren't gonna generate gravitons by themselves.

 

by BobRogers
1-08-08
You know, Dave has been really nice lately.
Maybe not having so much stress in his life is paying dividnds.
I suppose I should do something nice for him.
How about canceling the sperm whale that was going to fall on him in the next panel?
Now what?

 

by BobRogers
1-10-08
The Shrine has become a weird place lately.
Point of order. Wasn't The Shrine ALWAYS a weird place?
Yeah. I guess you're right. But it just seems ... well ... imbalanced since Dave was put out into the world.
Second point of order. Wasn't it YOU who refused to forgive Dave of his descretion of posting personal information?
You know... You are starting to piss me off.
See? Things are getting back to normal.

 

by BobRogers
1-11-08
You know Midgetmark, just SAYING that Bob's cartoons suck doesn't adequately express my feelings about them.
I was just going to say that exact thing but the idiot placed me on the right instead of the left side of the panel.
Well, what you said on the message board had one positive effect.
Yeah? What's that?
The introduction of you, a brand new character who is undoubtedly going to be bashed and sperm whale smushed to hell and gone.
An unintended consequence of my critique

 

by BobRogers
1-11-08
According to Midgetmark, you are redundant, cliche'd and worn out.
He may have a point. I AM the only character in tis cartoon who has never posted on the Stern Shrine.
Well, I for one think you play a pivotal role in the ongoing dialog of the strip.
That doesn't mean I'm gay though. Not that there's anything wrong with that...
Nothing wrong with being straight either.

 

by BobRogers
1-13-08
I am back on Stern Shrine now, even though I said I was gone for good. Joel Tyner will LOVE this!
Jump FOR DUCK!
Listen DUCK! Just because Joel Tyner has invited you here to the radio station to be on his show doesn't mean you can insult me!
Jumping for Duck.
Dave, Mr Tyner regrets to inform you that the duck has taken up the whole show. No time for you.

 

by BobRogers
1-14-08
Tyner, your radio show was a train wreck last night. What do you have to say for yourself.
I dunno, Boss. It was friends of that Dave Gravy. They were calling in from all over the continent. Who knew there were more than 10 listeners...
Well SEE that it does't happen again. We've got an FCC license to think about.
Gotcha boss.
Your name TYNER?
NOW what?

 

by BobRogers
1-14-08
i wanted to ask you a favor in behalf of all the fellas and gals on the Shrine.
Sure, Rusty, whaddya need?
We wonder if you would mind bringing back James Bond, The Meltdown King.
Truth be told, I am not sure I have nan avatar for him any more. But for you, I'll try.
And how are we feeling today, Mr. Bond?
I think I might be from Canada. Am I from Canada? Should I kill myself now, or wait to see if I am from Canada?

 

by BobRogers
1-15-08
I would never eat you. Never, never, ever, ever, ever EVER!
What?
You smell like fish,
My human gave me a dish of Bumblbee Tuna this morning.
And you are way too hairy.
I am NOT getting a good vibe from this at all!

 

by BobRogers
1-16-08
Rusty The Dog deviates occasionally from his human counterpart on the Shrine . . . or does he?
Hi Rusty. Where's Gargoyle this morning?
He's taking a sabbatical. He flew down to Key West this morning. I am the substitute voice of reason around here.
So what do you think about this latest spate of Dave bashing on Stern Shrine, The Message Board?
Well, as you know, I object to the unsubstantiated epithet "Pedo" as used against Dave. It's petty and unnecessarily cruel.
Wow. You really DO have opinions, don't you?
Dam skippy I do. Now fetch my Alpo, bitch.

 

by BobRogers
1-16-08
KD stops by the cave for a visit with Bob...
What's up with Dave's new cartoon? It looks and sounds like a 5 year old wrote it.
Dave wrote it so it amounts to the same thing. He has the mind of a pre-school child. You already knew that.
Plagerism is the sincerest form of flattery, you know.
Yeah. Probably you are right. When you are an idiot, I guess that's all you got.
What about his comment that you like Hearts of Space and WRRV
HOS is for faggots, pedos and retards. WRRV is a two-bit half-assed rock station in a bus station bathroom of a town.

 

by BobRogers
1-17-08
Brother man. How is your vacation going here on the sunny beaches of Key West?
Temperature in the 80's, balmy breezes, warm Gulf waters gently flowing by the tip of paradise ...
Wow. you have been completely captured, haven't you?
I kiss the cartoonist's hand for letting me come here ...
What the.. ?
... and for not making me use an airplane to come home.

 

by BobRogers
1-17-08
So, were you asking a question or busting my balls?
The latter. Why must you be so wordy all the time? Are you arrogant or pompus?
The latter. It's who I am, like you are a patriotic Canadian.
So we agree to disagree and fight vociferously?
Sure, but vociferously? That's kinda wordy.
We Canadians are a thought provoking people.

 

by BobRogers
1-17-08
My Mom wants to send me to a group home and I dwanna go.
Wouldn't a group home be a good thing? Sharing meals and a bedroom with others - going on field trips. Hanging out with McMurphy and the Indian...
I don't know any McMurphy. All Indians are nigfers.
Probably Dave, a group home is best for both Society and you as well.
DAMMIT! WHY AREN'T YOU ON MY SIDE?
The Gatekeeper plays no favorites, Dave. I saw. I read. I agree. A group home with no Internet would be a great place for you.

 

by BobRogers
1-19-08
Here's a little story about Rusty and Dianne... two youngsters in love, doin the best they can...
Hello. My name is Dianne. It is spelled D-I-A-N-N-E with two "n's"
And I care because ... ?
Because there is a rumor going around that Rusty The Dog is the most intelligent, sexy and cool canine on the Internet.
You had me at sexy.
Remember how to spell my name, folks. D-I-A-N-N-E with two "n's" C'mon Rusty, you horndog, show me your bone.
Way ahead of you, babe.

 

by BobRogers
1-21-08
In the aftermath of The Great Dutchess County Radio Marathon ...
You got me kicked off the Joel Tyner Radio Show with your racist remarks.
You say that like it's a bad thing.
OF COURSE IT'S A BAD THING, YOU MORON. I LIKED CALLING IN TO THAT SHOW AND RAMBLING AIMLESSLY ABOUT NOTHING!
Dave, you have used the "N" word more than 30 thousand times on message boards in the last year alone. What's the problem with me saying N##### just once?
You know, it's people like you who make people like me look bad.
That makes no sense at all.

 

by BobRogers
1-22-08
Brad Renfro, dead at age 25.
Tragic.
Heath Ledger, Passedaway before his time.
Beyond sadness.
Brittany Spears and Paris Hilton, alive and well.
Go Figure.

 

by BobRogers
1-25-08
The Stern Shrine message board has been pretty quiet lately. What gives?
Doc banned the Canadian, the truck driver and some other people he refers to as "assholes.
Do tell. And what effect if any has that had?
Some people have returned who had been previously put off by the chaos created by the afore mentioned "assholes."
What say you personally about all that, Rusty?
I'm just here for the bones.

 

by BobRogers
1-25-08
Hi Dave. What's up with you, man?
I have decided to run away from home.
Dude! It's like 20 degrees out of doors. You could die of hypothermia.
Don't try to talk me out of running away. And Don't come to my funeral.
Do you know how lucky you are? Some people don't have a home to run away from!
You're just trying to confuse me.

 

by BobRogers
1-25-08
Seriously Dave. If you run away from home, you will piss someone off and get sent to the "happy house."
Nobody cares whether I live or die. Why should I care?
People DO care about you. People are fascinated by you.
But they still make fun of me and call me names.
That's because they really love you Dave. JESUS loves you too.
Liar on both counts.

 

by BobRogers
1-25-08
Jesus catches up with Dave.
Dave. You are wrong. I do love you. Truly.
Then why can't I get a car and a job?
That's not how love works. Love is not "stuff." Love is when others care about you. I care about you.
Its no use. I just want to die and get it over with.
Why?
Because I live in PLVY with no car no house and no $. HELL can't possibly be worse.

 

by BobRogers
1-25-08
I hear you want to die.
True dat.
Cutting to the chase
Too much farting around in this comic strip.
Ow...

 

by BobRogers
1-27-08
Dave and his sibling sometimes disagree...
I thought you were going to run away from home, Brother O' Mine.
Shut up and leave me alone. You ain't my brother. You're just a nigfer that Mom adopted
Is that any way to treat your kith and kin?
Agggggghhhhh! I HATE it here! Please GOD. Get me ouuta this HOUSE!
I'm telling mom you are being uncivil.
Tell her YOU are the reason that abortion was legalized.

 

by BobRogers
1-30-08
Mike H. catches Bob in the hallway outside the cartoon studio...
I have decided that I am going to stop stalking Dave Gravy.
Really? Why dat?
I just realized that he is mentally disturbed, retarded, unbalanced and not right in the head.
And it took 2 years of daily harassment for you figure that out?
My middle name is "Slow On The Uptake."
Copy that.

 

by BobRogers
1-30-08
Later that same day...
So, I hear you have finnally accepted me as a person, rather than an object for ridicule.
Nooo. I still see you as an object for ridicule. But now I am going to be more selective HOW I ridicule you.
Why ridicule me at all? Am I not human? Do I not bleed and have feelings? Do I not yearn to get laid?
These are all good questions to which I have no answer.
Just SHUT UP THEN!
I was planning on it.

 

by BobRogers
1-30-08
So now that Mike H. is giving up stalking Dave, who's going to step up?
Funny you should ask that...
i am now stalking you, English. JESUS wants you to become an Amishman.
You NIGFERS CAN'T BE SERIOUS!
That's just rude.
I know.

 

by BobRogers
1-31-08
Hello. I haven't seen you around here before.
Ahh duhh. My name is Orange Juice Jones and daa, I'm just doing a cameo role taaday.
I see. From the grotesque body and the Forest Gump dialog, I gather you must have said or done something to piss off Bob
Daaaa, yeaup. I posted an unflattering cartoon on Stern Shrine.
A whistling sound gets louder and ...
The sperm whale drop is obligatory.

 

by BobRogers
1-31-08
Did you hear what happened to Orange Juice Jones?
Yeah man. Tragic, that. Punk'd and squished on his very first toon gig.
That cartoon he did was just a pathetic bid for attention anyhow. Bob never really had anything to say to him prior to that.
Gotcha, man. Just a passive aggressive reach for the honor of being tooned. Well, he has his 15 minutes now.
Who are we, by the way?
I have no damn idea whatsoever.

 

by BobRogers
2-02-08
I think that if I'm going to be a part of this dog and pony show, I oughtta at least know who I am a parody of.
Why ask me? I'm not the alien flying this saucer.
OK. Fair enough. So who do I see about a name?
Just stand right there. It'll come to you.
30 seconds later...
And a hearty Stern Shriners welcome to Mr. "just run over by a Peterbilt."

 

by BobRogers
2-02-08
Have you seen what's-his-name, the guy with the green mohawk?
Road kill.
Road Kill? That's a strange name. I don't recall a "Road Kill" on the Message Board.
No. I mean that the guy you seek currently occupies the grill of a speeding Peterbilt.
As do all newbies at one time or another. It's inevitable and unfunny to Canadians.

 

by BobRogers
2-02-08
You know, that "Canada bashing" is cheap humor and not particularly funny, right?
No "bash" intended. I just pointed out that you wouldn't find that last bit of slapstick humorous.
You don't get to be the judge of what I find funny. I am Canadian. I know for funny.
So you are finding this bit of social dialog to be funny?
Droll is a word that comes to mind. Droll and humorless dialog and with a bland setup.
I rest my case.

 

by BobRogers
2-02-08
So, how'd it go while I was gone? Any problems doing the cartoon strip?
No worries. Just introduced a couple of new characters and initiated them into Shrine Toon World.
Really? Who and how?
Well, their identities are a secret for now but as to how...
Truck or sperm whale?
You know me all too well, Bob.

 

by BobRogers
2-05-08
Guest Star Kevin Costner ...
Hey, UNION Guy. I hear the writers' strike will soon be over. True dat? Or False?
They seem to be coming to a meeting of the minds, yeah. Why?
Because I want to do a sequal to Robin Hood and I need a good writer to do the script
What about they guy who scripted "The Postman?" I liked that movie.
How about Dave Gravy? I hear he's up for some drama.
Sorry, he ran away from home. Maybe you could get Dan O'Banion or the Cohen Brothers. They rock...

 

by BobRogers
2-06-08
I object to the term "though provoking" in conjunction with this incredibly lame cartoon strip.
I see. And why is that prithee?
Partially because you use cheap sensationalism and sarcasm to fill the first two panels.
and ...
Then you follow it up with a cheap shot . Aww screw it. Buy me a beer.
Done.

 

by BobRogers
2-08-08
IAPD3000 gains noteriety...
I took a shot at being "thought provoking" today on the message board.
How did that work out?
Basically, my question as to whether Ashley Tisdale & Miley Cyrus are more just best friends.
You are interested in knowing if two chicks, one of them age 15 are lesbian or bi?
Fundementally.
Dude. The pedo factor on that question is stratospheric.

 

by BobRogers
2-08-08
IAPD3000 finds noteriety a bit unsettling...
Go away! I am no longer interested in you! It was all a syntax error!
I don't understand. I am beautiful, sexy and 15. WHY DON"T YOU LOVE ME?
It was a mistake. I was trying to be socially relevant by commenting on your love life.
It's OK. I too have an ulterior motive for meeting you clandestinely in an open field.
An ominous whistling sound foreshadows impending doom...
Sperm whale bait.

 

by BobRogers
2-13-08
It's been awfully quiet around here the last few days.
Yeah, I know. It's spooky
So what do you think is going on?
Dave's uncle confiscated his computer for nonpayment, and cancelled his Internet.
Do YOU have any idea why Hell has frozen over?
Actually, I do, but I can't stop laughing long enough to fill you in...

 

by BobRogers
2-15-08
Man, you look really stressed. Who are you, by the way?
I'm Dave's Uncle. Wouldn't YOU be stressed if you lived in that house?
How bad could living with Dave be? Just the occasional tantrum, car wreck and periodic psychotic break.
Fine. I'll let him know to see you about the rent at your place.
Actually, I don't have a place. I live here on this park bench.
See? That's what I'm talking about. Nobody'll take him. He's a 36 year old orphan.

 

by BobRogers
2-16-08
I've been gone.
Sems to me you've never really been here.
What is that supposed to mean?
Succinctly, it means that most people think you live on "Planet Head-case" anyhow, so being "gone" is irrelevant.
Well now I'm back.
Not from where I'm sitting.

 

by BobRogers
2-16-08
What does "succinctly mean, anyhow?
It means, "with concise and precise brevity; to the point; "Please state your case as succinctly as possible"; "he wrote compactly but clearly"
Why don't you speak English?
That is ENGLISH, Jose. Study hard and you may learn to speak it someday.
You are entirely too harsh. And too impatient with me as well. I don't like it very much.
Mia culpa.

 

by BobRogers
2-16-08
Dave has returned from wherever it is that he has been for the last two weeks.
And yet the world still turns, gravity still works abd Obama still leads...
Have you noticed how cynical you've been getting lately?
Must have something to do with people obsessing over a guy less important than used paper.
Wos. You need an attitude adjustment.
Nah. What I need is a vacation, preferably somewhere with sun and sand

 

by BobRogers
2-16-08
Very funny, asshole. Just because I didn't mention "water" doesn't mean I didn't want any

 

by BobRogers
2-17-08
Welcome back, Dave, how was your weekend home visit?
Pretty good actually. I maintained a quiet decorum and dropped a couple of hints about me being here.
Did you contact the Alien Mother Ship like I asked you to?
Nah, man. That would just be acting crazy, wouldn't it?
Dude, sorry. I asked him to, like you said but he got busy on the Internet. You know how that goes.
Sigh.

 

by BobRogers
2-18-08
I want to dispell a rumor.
R-U-M-O-R
What?
You said you wanted to spell Rumor. It is spelled R-U-M-O-R.
I just wanted to tell everybody that I am not inna hospital.
Why didn't you say so?

 

by BobRogers
2-21-08
Mexicans are stupid. Mexican flags are stupid
Cuidado con los mexicanos cachalote
What?
I said, "Watch out for the mexican sperm whale"
Gringos are muy lento on the uptake.

Showing page 22.

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