All comics by BobRogers

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by BobRogers
2-26-08
I can't believe it. Gas will be $5 a gallon by the end of summer.
I ain't aweating it.
What? How can you say that? Your car runs on gasoline just like everybody else's
No so. I converted...
... to sperm whale oil.

 

by BobRogers
3-04-08
Dude, I have never seen you looking this bummed out. What's wrong?
Gary Gygax died today. He was the father of Dungeons and Dragons, my favorite role-playing game.
Wow. That is a downer. D&D kept me and my friends outta jail when I was a kid. Instead of doing crime we were killing orcs and looting treasure.
I know what you mean. My 21st level wizard kicked ass last Tuesday.
Missed his saving roll, Gary did, I guess.
Effin Hong Kong Dice will get you killed every time. Godspeed, Gary.

 

by BobRogers
3-09-08
The setup...
I am now doing cartoons of my own.
Elaboration...
Punchline and egress.
Dammit. Missed.

 

by BobRogers
3-10-08
I see you closed the web site Lorettasworld.com.
Yep.
Why did you do that?
Because, as a social commentary, my cartoons were becoming irrelivant..
Huh?
I wanted to save the $5 a month hosting fee.

 

Take me to your leader
I'm sorry, the President is watching The Cartoon network anc cannot be disturbed
by BobRogers, 3-13-08

 

by BobRogers
3-31-08
I have a new porn forum on Stern Shrine.
I don't look at porn.
WHAT? You're lying. EVERYBODY looks at porn.
Not me. Looking at porn will get you turned into a duck.
YOU did that.
Not I, McFly.

 

by BobRogers
7-12-08
After a long time parted, two old friends bump into each other...
What, you're not dead?
Ahh, no.
I could have sworn I saw a work order with your name on it.
Nope. Not dead. But not making cartoons either.
Why not?
No intelligent life on Stern Shrine to read them.

 

by BobRogers
7-13-08
So what's the deal? Are you back or what? Two cartoons in two days ... That says something.
Contrary to popular notion, Howardshrine.com is not the center of the universe. Nor is the forum therein a "must see" internet location.
I don't follow.
Most of the denizens of that message board are steeped in narcissism, have no sense of humor or are sheepfuckers and DaveStalkers.
So you're back.
Never left. And who's to stop me one way or another? My battery is charged.

 

by BobRogers
7-13-08
This is an exercise in ambiguity. It makes no difference whether you are back or not back because nobody cares.
Exactly.
So why inflict cartoons on people who either hate them or simply don't care?
Why shouldn't I? If the cartoons do nothing more than irritate IAC then my job is done.
Good point, that. But what about the others who must suffer them, the good with the bad?
What do I care? I have no friends on that message board. It's a moot point. The only one whose opinion counts is Doc and he hasn't commented.

 

by BobRogers
7-13-08
You know... all this chatter about sheep molesting is really making me nervous.
I wouldn't worry about it. These are VIRTUAL Canadians we are talking about.
Exactly. I am a virtual sheep.
Ahhh. I see your point.
Being raped by Canadians creates anxiety you know. They have very small penises but they smell really bad. It messes up the ass wool.
I feel your pain, brother. I feel your pain.

 

by BobRogers
7-14-08
In disguise, IAC skulks about until...
I'm here for you you sweet wooly hefer.
Are you sure you're not looking for my brother, the black sheep?
Hey Now! That's just stereotyping and profiling.
Youre wearing a bed sheet and a hood, Frenchie. What do you expect.
Damn. You broke the mood. Now I have to go find some more Viagra.
Stupid Canadian.

 

by BobRogers
7-15-08
Dave makes up for lost time...
IAC dates SHEEP!
Tell me about it.
IAC copulates with GOATS!
Ba'aaa'aa'ad
IAC pumps sperm whales!
Love hurts...

 

by BobRogers
7-20-08
Your cartoons suck and you are a useless cripple with the late Sadaam Hissien's sense of humor.
And in your mind this is more socially degrading than molesting sheep?
You'd be doing us all a favor if you never posted another cartoon online again.
I don't really have a problem with that except for one small detail...
And what would that detail be?
Simply that the main reason that I post cartoons in this intellectual wasteland is to annoy the fuck out of you.

 

by BobRogers
7-20-08
I'm being forced to go into rehab.
What could YOU be addicted to. You're a REAPER.
My name is Nick the Hood and I am addicted to harvesting Canadians before their time. There I said it. Good practice.
How is that an adiction? Anybody would kill Canadians en masse if they could.
I like to harvest them during sex, just when they start making more noise than the sheep.
OK. I can see where that would maybe take a little bit of Group Therapy.

 

by BobRogers
7-21-08
I like how you are so much better, smarter, and evolved than us, while your idea of humor is dropping a whale, beastiality, or some lame canadian slam thats been used to death.
That's an interesting assessment, albiet one born of ignorance .
How you figure?
A person's entire existence is predicated on his ability to be himself. My greatest weapon against boorishness is self-confidence.
What the ... ?
Rolling softly and wielding a fast Peterbilt is always a good plan as well.

 

by BobRogers
7-21-08
Dude. Looks like they've all turned against you.
Not me. I'm just a cartoon character. No flesh or blood or feelings at all. I'm just an avatar representing the real Bob in the way he wishes to be seen.
He wishes to be seen as a crippled guy in a wheel-chair? But you are a mirror of his reality, nes pas?
I am how he chooses to present himself. For reasons of truth or fiction, it is not for me to say.
He really is pompus though, right?
Indubitably.

 

by BobRogers
7-22-08
Faster than a speeding Taurus...
What's going on?
Dave's off his meds again. He spent the whole morning trying to catch himself.

 

by BobRogers
7-22-08
Dave is at a loss for words...
NIGGERS!
Where?
Message board!
Who?
Mike H.
Be right there

 

by BobRogers
7-22-08
J. Gargoyle waxes philosophical as college students are inclined to occasionally do...
Some people think this comic strip is low brow and humorless.
Others believe that the author is a drooling, helpless cripple who is forever stuck in a wheelchair; six wheels on the pavement and nowhere to go.
I believe it is a medium of communications too subtle for the walnut sized brains of the message board crowd
Me? I'm just here for the souls. Nothing personal, just me job.

 

by BobRogers
7-26-08
I hear you have been going to physical therapy this month.
it's true. There's this hot new nurse named Bambi who calls me "Dear" and rubs my legs.
Well, looks like it's working. Here you are standing up.
It's a miracle!
Man does not live by erection alone.

 

by BobRogers
7-27-08
Disaster strikes...
A monsoon of sperm whales?
No. Dave got another car.

 

by BobRogers
7-28-08
Letter for ya.
Thanks.
So what did you get in the mail today?
My application to replace Alex on "Ice Road Truckers" got rejected.
Why dat?
Wheelchair won't fit in the cab of a Peterbilt.

 

by BobRogers
7-29-08
No good deed goes unpunished.
Shhh. That's supposed to be a secret.
Was that Satan I just saw you talking with?
Nah. That was Dave in his new driving costume. He figures people will get out of his way if he looks like that.
You're kidding.
Busted.

 

by BobRogers
7-30-08
We're here with Osama Bin Ladin in his hideout cave in Pleasant Valley New York. Why here Osama? And how did you get past immigration?
I came here to to be closer to my great admirer Dave. And IAC helped me get across the border at Niagra Falls.
What about Al Queda's Global Terrorism Campaign? Can you run that effectively from Upstate New York?
It's more important to help Dave in his campaign against Obama. If that guy gets elected, arabs gonna be screwed.
How did you find out about these guys?
Some guy named Artie sent me a telegram. He said WRRV Radio would sponsor me to go on the Stern Show.

 

by BobRogers
7-30-08
I don't know why Dave would call me a "nigger." I'm whiter than anybody that redneck knows.
He's just doing it for shock value. He tried to join us and we kicked him to the curb for being too crazy.
Still, he can't seriously believe that McCain would be better for the country. I'm a genuine novelty. The world will love me just for that.
Well, we have plans for you too, Obama. My Grand Dragon says vote for YOU.
Why is that?
Because if you get elected, Blacks everywhere will have to stop whining and get busy for sure.

 

by BobRogers
8-05-08
I think... therefore I am.
What the hell just hit me?
Falling gas prices.

 

by BobRogers
8-06-08
Liz Vicious! My word. I heard you were dead!
Not dead. Undead.
Undead? How did that happen
Dave bit me on the neck. He took me for a drive. We parked. Next thing I know, I wake up looking like this.
You should be ashamed, Dave.

 

by BobRogers
8-09-08
Pet day at Stern Shrine...
So. You're Dave's cat. I've been reading about you on line ...
It's not so bad, except when he eats all my cat food and leaves me to go hungry. Plus, I sleep on his computer keyboard as well.
So. You're IAC's dog. I heard about you from Doc....
It's not so bad now that he's switched to sheep.
So. You're Doc's squirrel. IAC told me about you...
It's a pretty sweet life, I'll tell you. We both like nuts.

 

by BobRogers
8-20-08
OJJ offers advice to Dave...
Take a look around Dave at your life. see how much it sucks and how ruined it is and how all these things have led to your depression and anger.
I have a excuse. I have aspenburgers Syndrome. The doctor said so.
I am so sorry. I didn't mean to rag on a crip like that.
Well, see it doesn't happen again.
That's a strange little man, Dave is.
You'd be a little off the hook too if all you had to look forward to is being a 40 year old virgin with a cat.

 

by BobRogers
9-05-08
Bicycle for sale. See Dave.
Buy my bicycle! Do it now.
OK. I'll give you $40 for it.
My bike's worth way more than $40 you nigfer!
OK. I'll give you $42.50
Sold.
Obtuse, thy name is Dave

 

by BobRogers
11-23-08
Why haven't there been more TOONS? I LIKE THEM! It's been MONTHS since there was a toon!
Why are you asking me? I'm not the captain of this starship.
Look. Just DON'T give me any of your lip. I DEMAND to know why there haven't been any CARTOONS!
OK. Truth is, Bob was busy being a District Captain for Obama.
I was pretty sure that would make his head explode.

 

by BobRogers
11-26-08
NJ Harley has just been appointed as The Shrine's new Spelling Tzar.
Damn. I was up for that job. I would have been able to change my name from "Generic Character."
It's a crappy job. Nobody appreciates the fine art of language anymore.
LOL. Oh CRAP! Now I 'm speaking GEEK! Will the humiliation NEVER END?
Could be worse. You could have become NJ Harley.
You're right. Counting blessings now.

 

by BobRogers
12-18-08
The Shrine is a tomb these days.
True dat. Haven't posted in a while. Just the occasional cartoon. Even that not so much.
It was fun for a while though. Strange, perverted, but fun.
I remember what it was like before the assholes ran everybody off. You could post something a little smart and not get eviscerated.
Is it just me, or have we become more cynical here of late.
I t doesn't matter. The trucker will rip it to shreads and the Canadian will eat it and crap it back as some stupid "crip" joke or another. Nothing changes except mults.

 

by BobRogers
12-22-08
Big snow storm over the Hudson Valley.....
I hate snow worse than I hate you, Bob.
That's a pretty unfriendly thing to say. You should think positive things and life will be better.
Like what?
Like things you love. know what I love?
Frozen falling sperm whales?
I am amazed you guessed it.

 

by BobRogers
2-01-09
I hate Obama worse than I hate SNOW and I hate snow a lot!
Remind me again. Why I should care whether you hate snow OR Obama?
I hate Obama for being BLACK. I hate SNOW for being cold and WHITE and by the way, I hate Bob because he makes stupid cartoons.
And you hate falling flaming ducks left over from airliners that pass over Poukeepsie because they set you on fire. I know. I know.

 

by BobRogers
3-08-09
I'm back.
Never noticed you were gone
Whdda mean I was gone, really really gone. But now I have returned.
Not only does that not affect my life, but it probably doesn't affect yours either.
You are an ass.
You are inconsequential.

 

by BobRogers
11-10-09
Why doesn't anyone watch my videos?
Because nobody cares?
I make great videos of the places I go and the things I see.
Which nobody cares about.
WATCH MY VIDEOS!
I don't care about them.

 

by BobRogers
11-10-09
I went to a strip joint the other night.
And I care because. . .
That chick was incredible. I had tits in my face the whole evening.
Well, you better split now because here comes that chick's boyfriend.
You BETTER run, bitch. because when I catch up with you...
Yaggghhh

 

by BobRogers
11-14-09
Dave's new business - dog walking.
Now listen dog. Let's get one thing straight. I am the dog walker. I am the boss of you.
Think so?
Now, byach, fetch me a bone. Find me some dog food. Clean up my poop and be quick about it!

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