All comics by ObiJo

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by ObiJo
8-21-02
So why did this Ted guy steal your maracas?
It's a long story.
It begins one nippy Autumn evening two years ago...
Hey! Ted is stealing our maracas!
Yes! I, Ted, am stealing your maracas!
Oh what a picture you paint.
The upshot is that without our maracas, my people are dying.

 

by ObiJo
8-21-02
So everyone in the Land of...the Land of
is dying? Why?
Okay, I don't know who the hell people that was, but it sure as shit wasn't mine.

 

by ObiJo
8-21-02
Just tell me why your people are dying.
I mean, your face was ALL wrong, you didn't shake your fists, and worst of all you didn't shit.
I SAID TELL ME WHY YOUR GODDAMN... wait, did you say shit?
Ya, and?
You shit every time you say your land's name?
The whole point of our little dance is to loosen the bowels.

 

by ObiJo
8-21-02
Why not just call yourselves the Land of Shit?
Well, now, --that's-- certainly undignified. No, no. It's much better to call ourselves the Land of
and leave the rest to the imagination.

 

by ObiJo
8-21-02
So Jacob's like "Accountant" and Isiah's like "Lawyer" and I'm like "Lord and Savior, motherfuckers!"
HaHa!
Oh how I love class reunions.

 

by ObiJo
8-22-02
You can take the hell wraith out of hell...
But you can't take the hell out of the hell wraith.
*SCREEEEEEEECH*
Or my rec room.
mOrE pRiNgLeS, mOrTaL fUcK tArD!!! *SCRRRRRREEEEECH*

 

by ObiJo
8-22-02
I'm neither Republican or Democrat.
I am of the Tradilius in the Kardaynor Collection of Galaxies!

 

by ObiJo
8-23-02
I'm not feeling too great.
What seems to be the problem?
Severe cornholing.
That reminds me of that one song.
What song?
Strangers in the night.

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02
So the first splatterings of humanity and the last vestiges of dinosaur-dom start battling for control of the planet. What happens then?
Half-time.
In the middle of a war?
Believe me, it was the darkest hour.
o/` I wanna know what love is! I want you to love me! o/`

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02
Are you sure?
I'd know him anywhere!

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02
Leave me alone!

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02
NEVER!

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02
THE

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02
END

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02
WRITTEN and DIRECTED by obijo

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02
A Wirthling Sucks Production.

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02
Also funded by the C'mon-Gabe-Let's-Hitchhike-across-the-Country Grant.

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02
And made possible by viewers like you.

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02
What, are you still here?

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02
The show's over.

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02
Go home.

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02

 

by ObiJo
8-24-02
Go.

 

by ObiJo
8-26-02
What? You honestly believe my body's aching all the time because I'm a racist? I don't have a racist bone in my body!
Your X-Rays say different.
NIGGERS!
Holy shit! What can be done?
Well, first, I need you to sign a few waivers.

 

by ObiJo
8-28-02
Why don't you title your strips " " anymore?
It won't let me. Whenever I add a space it makes the title of the comic "Untitled".
Have you ever tried adding two spaces?
I SAID, have you ever tried adding two spaces?
Do you realize we're in a graveyard?

 

by ObiJo
8-29-02
On behalf of the anti-censorship league, I'd like to present you an award for highest consciousness in a television series or long distance telephony commercial.
Thank you! I am feeling most aware and proud of this fine achievement. I can't be taking all the credit for this award. I'd like to be thanking
No speeches.
What?
Guards.
MMPH!

 

by ObiJo
8-29-02
For being such an A-Number-One Animal Rights Activist and Anti-Gun Lobbyist, I'd like to present you with this award.
A dead squirrel?
Is it? Truth is, I haven't had money to eat since the Glock factory went out of business, so I ain't thinking straight. And GOD FORBID I shoot a deer to quiet my rumbling belly.
You're going to hurt me aren't you?
Plenty.

 

by ObiJo
8-29-02
I have won an award.
What's yours is mine.
You have won an award.
What's mine is yours.
We're still not Maura.
No shit, dickless.

 

by ObiJo
8-29-02
Excuse me, but aren't you Miss Claustrophobic-Brutal-Anal-Sex-Princess 2002?
What! No! I mean, I *am* claustrophobic, but I wasn't given an award. And I don't even like anal sex!
How sad for you.
Into the trunk.

 

by ObiJo
8-30-02
I just won 1st Place in Morse Code Shitting - featherweight division!! What can I say?
"Where's the mop?"

 

by ObiJo
9-02-02
Fill in the blank: "Child pornography makes me want to _____!"
Hmmm...
I like it just like that.
Child pornography makes me want to?
YOU SICK FUCK!

 

by ObiJo
9-02-02
Use the following words in a sentence: servile and sycophant.
If another beer you do not serve, I'll sick a phant on you.
Okay, that doesn't even make sense.
GLOCKEN SAN CROIX!
Meanwhile in upper Narobi
GLOCKEN SAN CROIX!
On my way!

 

by ObiJo
9-03-02
Give me an example of alliteration.
No.
No?
No need.
No need?
None.

Showing page 23.

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