All comics by ralahinn1

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by ralahinn1
3-27-19
So why did you call us today?
A customer hung up on a phone solicitation .
People are free to hang up the phone in America.
We told them the money would go to a "First Responder's Pension Assistance Fund", after we take our cut,of course.
Let's throw the book at them!

 

by ralahinn1
3-31-19
-and now a word from our sponsor -
Welcome friends,to my nationally favorite financial advisor show-
Yeah,keep thinkin' that-
What do you mean? I'm on the air nationally-
Doesn't mean people are watching.It's baseball season, my man.
That's why we advertise in stadiums as well.
Ya got me there-

 

by ralahinn1
4-02-19
I say, Percy ,did you hear,a strip maker from the past has returned here.
I already know Ragu has returned as Joe Blough.
No, I mean a bloke what calls himself "crabby".
That's good news for the site when others return.
Hey guys, I got more possible "good news". I think I found what Brads been doing with Ragu's "missing" strips.

 

I say, Percy,there's a bloke on site what sells athletic gear now.
I saw. They sell "massaging"insoles,I wonder if they have that in a jockstrap.
by ralahinn1, 4-05-19

 

Age Test:Idea Stolen-
What the...?!
Hello, I'm Alice Kramden.
by ralahinn1, 4-06-19

 

by ralahinn1
4-09-19
A day in the life of the default Strip Creator.Com girls-
I hate myself .
Why?
People come here and they are too lazy to look at the site so they use us to get people to click links-
You mean like for education products or clothes made by Asian slave labor?
Yes,or Ellen Degeneres saying you won a contest
Good way to ask for key loggers,or get solicitor calls if you give personal info,lol

 

So far,the murders in Baltimore for 2019 is 72.
Go Team Baltimore!
by ralahinn1, 4-10-19

 

What a difference a day makes- murders in Baltimore for 2019 are now 75.
You can make it to 100.I believe in you! Go Team Baltimore!
by ralahinn1, 4-11-19

 

by ralahinn1
4-12-19
Some time in the near future-
I'm still not sure.Don't these "smart devices"spy on you?
Just a little- but it's for your security,and with the right settings you'll forget all about it.
Ok, I'll buy it,though I still think I shouldn't .
Cash,or plastic?
Some time later-
Welcome to "Sexbot Secrets"and boy do we have some stories for you!
She actually thought She wasn't being recorded! She never did read the manufacturer guide.We've been playing "who's got the button"? for months-*cue video-

 

After Ilhan Omar made the remarks about 9-11,Captain Obvious visits Moslems in America-
Good afternoon,sir,can you spare a moment of your time to talk about what happened on 9-11 ?
*GASP* "Something"happened on 9-11 ?!
by ralahinn1, 4-14-19

 

by ralahinn1
4-15-19
Today Muslims around the world be like-
Notre Dame Cathedral is burning-
Go!Go!Go!(*celebration dancing*)
-and outside,in some places-
Omar,have you heard about the big fire?!
Yes,my brother, I'm rushing home to spend time with my goats,this excites me!

 

Somewhere in Mexico -
Aiii Chiwawah,we are changing de caravan's route,there is a strong need for construction workers in France !
by ralahinn1, 4-16-19

 

by ralahinn1
4-17-19
Stand by for Actin News-
This just in-we found out the president is giving another surprise speech -
We are joining it in progress -
-and in conclusion, I understand today is "International Bat Appreciation Day ",don't think we overlooked you, because we haven't- here's a big shout out to Hillary,Michelle,Nancy,the Ladies in the -
-House and Senate,those lovely Ladies at "the View",Cher,Barbara,the "mad cow", and my ex's- may you have a joyous day!

 

by ralahinn1
4-19-19
Stand By for Actin New-
Joe Biden has officially announced he's running for president in 2020-
We sent a crew out to interview him-
So,have anything to say about your possible return to the "White House"?
I was hoping they would send a female reporter to interview me-

 

by ralahinn1
4-22-19
After a loong weekend-
*Yawn*, never want to see Easter candy again-
Say,sport,where're you heading?
Home,to bed-
Really? I thought we could hang out- I know a place to score chocolate eggs.
F*ck you,azz.

 

The murder rate in Baltimore is 81.
Go Team Baltimore, you can make it to 100!
by ralahinn1, 4-23-19

 

Pull my finger-
Hold on,son,pull mine first-
by ralahinn1, 4-25-19

 

The murder rate in Baltimore is 89.
You're almost there! You can make it to 100! I believe in you Baltimore !
by ralahinn1, 4-29-19

 

by ralahinn1
4-30-19
April 30,2019-
Hi,welcome to Gino's,may I take your order?
I heard Gino Marchetti died,and I rushed right over-you giving out free burgers?
Uh, no.
May I use your restroom then?
*Sigh* I should have see this coming-
"-cause Gino's is the place to go".

 

by ralahinn1
5-01-19
At the US/Mexico border-
He doesn't look like your son-
I swear that he is,señor
You will let us in when my wife comes-
No,welcome to America.
I'm Pedro's wife,is there a problem?

 

by ralahinn1
5-04-19
Stand by,for Actin News-
It's been a busy weekend in Baltimore and the weekend isn't over yet-
The total murders in Baltimore this year so far is 97,and it's not summer yet-
Go Team Baltimore!
Make me proud, Baltimore,hit 100 by Monday -Go for the gold!

 

You did it Baltimore ,you murdered over 100 people!
Actual murder rate:101. "Black lives" may matter but we see you going for the "gold"! Make it 125,by "Mother's Day"!
by ralahinn1, 5-06-19

 

After coming off a "Mother's Day Cease Fire Weekend" the death rate in Baltimore is 106 for the year,so far-
Go Team Baltimore!
by ralahinn1, 5-13-19

 

by ralahinn1
5-15-19
Stand by for Act in News-
This just in, Ted Cruz says the "Space Force"is needed to fight against "Space Pirates"-
This just in, Ted Cruz says the "Space Force"is needed to fight against "Space Pirates"-
Heck with that,when are they coming to "probe"us?

 

by ralahinn1
5-18-19
Have you noticed that the Dems really didn't say much against Illegal imigrants-
Come on in,my brotha,welcome to the land of plenty!
Until the Africans came-
Oh, Hell naw-GTFO!

 

by ralahinn1
5-19-19
Stand by for Actin News-
Tonight in our entertainment section, we learn that "Svengoolie" has been showing "Frankenstein" movies all May-
Let's take a quick look at one of these classics-
Fire baaad!
Acting baaad!
Oh really? Let's see,it's Saturday night,and your home watching an old movie on tv?

 

The murder rate in Baltimore for 2019 is 114!
You are almost at 120, Baltimore. You can make it! Go for the gold!
by ralahinn1, 5-20-19

 

by ralahinn1
5-24-19
Some where in South America-in the near future-
We are here today with Jose Kanusi,to ask him what he thinks of all the South American children who died in US custody -
It is so sad. They can no longer send de monies home to their family here-
But we are talking about children basically being dragged into another country by abusive "parents".Some not even their own,as they get rented out many times by the cartels-
How brave are these children who want to send us monies -
We have found an answer to the children that die,we have partners who will now pay us when these children reach American lands-.
We now train these children how glorious it is to serve Allah and we give them "tools"to advance the califate,and pay the cartels to help the families make their trip.

 

by ralahinn1
5-26-19
At a club somewhere in DC-
Give it up,for our surprise guest, presidential candidate , Joe Biden-
Sings :"Every time I see a little girl of 5 or 6 or 7, I can't resist the joyous urge to smile and say-Thank heaven,for little girls-"
-ok then-we can see where this is going, thanks for coming and have a good night ,Mr. Biden-
-but I was hoping to entertain a few women after the show!
Biden's "secret service"men wait behind the curtain-
You pull the car around back,and I'll put the wig on,and get the shot ready. I don't know how we can take four years of this!

 

The murder rate in Baltimore for2019 is 118.
Almost 120! You can do it Baltimore ! Go for the gold!
by ralahinn1, 5-28-19

 

Recently near the White house in DC-
Well,this was certainly a dumb idea-
Before you see the "big guy"about your placement, I want you to meet my good friend, Charles Darwin .
by ralahinn1, 5-30-19

 

You did it Baltimore ! The murder rate is 121!
Go Team Baltimore! Go for the gold!
by ralahinn1, 5-30-19

 

The murder rate in Baltimore is 126!
Almost 130! Go Team Baltimore ! Your kids got to beat up more "innocent"people,like they did Memorial Day weekend !
by ralahinn1, 6-03-19

 

by ralahinn1
6-03-19
Stand by, for Actin News-
Baltimore's new mayor says the way to get the gun violence to end is to hold boxing matches at Royal Farms Arena -
Oh I'm sure that will work- we sent a crew out to do man on the street interviews -
Wha'do I think? I'd like a bit of the side action of dese fights- sellin' de drugs an' de fine Ladies ,but still it's mo' satisfaction to have my nephew pop a cap in someone's azz-
Months later,along a Baltimore street-
Well, hell-oo-
Hey,didn't I just win a match with you in the arena?

 

by ralahinn1
6-05-19
Oh noooo,you gringo's built a wall on privat land with private funds on Memorial Day weekend!
Si,señior-
-are you mocking me ? I will not be mocked!
Tell that to your mother she's dancing at the "donkey bar"again-
Really? That brings in the good monies

 

The murder rate in Baltimore for 2019 is 133!
Almost 140,go for the Gold,Team Baltimore!
by ralahinn1, 6-10-19

 

What the hell, PlayStation is down!
Switch to X-box in 5-4-3...
by ralahinn1, 6-13-19

 

by ralahinn1
6-14-19
You did it, Baltimore! The Murder rate is 140!
Go for that gold! Make it 150!
People must think we be dumber than dirt,we murder each other, includin'women an'children, an'sells each otha drugs,an'blaim "whitey"-
Word, bidness as usual,an' gubment fears stopin' us because we'd call dem "racist."

 

The Murder rate in Baltimore for 2019 is still at 140.
I'm guessing it's because Baltimore just went through the most "confusing" day of the year, "Father's Day".
by ralahinn1, 6-17-19

 

This week , Homicides in Baltimore reached 149-
Almost 150 for 2019! Go for the Gold, Team Baltimore !
by ralahinn1, 6-24-19

 

Guess who's in "Facebook Jail" for the next 3 days?
by ralahinn1, 7-02-19

 

Happy 4th of July ^_^
by ralahinn1, 7-04-19

 

The murder rate in Baltimore this week is up to 165-
Almost 170- Go for the gold Team Baltimore!
by ralahinn1, 7-08-19

 

by ralahinn1
7-14-19
I say, Percy, someone made a group on Facebook saying they are planning a raid on Area 51 -
Really?
There goes the neighborhood -
I'm bringing popcorn.

 

The Murder rate in Baltimore for 2019 is now at 173-
Go for the Gold, Team Baltimore ! You can make it to 200!
by ralahinn1, 7-15-19

 

by ralahinn1
7-16-19
I say, Percy,I hear the Area 51 raid has been cancelled-
Really? Maybe their meds kicked in.
Meanwhile in a galaxy not so far away-
Turn the ship around,boys,we're goig back to base-
I'm feeling "frisky",sir,can we swing by West Virginia to do a few "anal probes"?

 

The murder rate in Baltimore ,so far,for 2019, is 186-
Go for the Gold, Team Baltimore ! Hit 190!
by ralahinn1, 7-22-19

 

by ralahinn1
7-25-19
So,tell our viewers father,with all the wrongs going on in this world, how do you maintain your composure ?
My son, I like to think the traditional ways are the best- a little Faith,Hope, and Charity.
Later-
Here ya go,boss,brought along Faith, Hope, an' Charity.Same rates as alwayz.
Charity is out aparkin' the car-
Hey,babe-

 

by ralahinn1
7-26-19
Remember those days when the weekend wouldn't start until RCLG did a page domination?
-I remember.
Go the hell home, no one cares!
I care-

 

Somewhere in DC-
No, I don't want to meet you, Mr. President.I'm excited to meet someone named"Atomic Lunch"
by ralahinn1, 7-27-19

Showing page 25.

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