All comics by DragonXero

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by DragonXero
2-27-09
What the hell is with Exodus and Overkill ripping each-other off??
Who?
AAAAAAAAAHHH!!
What the hell is with Exodus and Overkill ripping each other off??
YOU THREW ME OFF THE FUCKING BUILDING YOU ASSHOLE!

 

by DragonXero
2-27-09
I threw you off the building? I think I'd remember that.
DUDE, I was just lucky to have landed in a big pile of emo kid bodies some punk left.
You landed in emos? You're tainted with their emo blood now!
YOU PUSHED ME OFF THE BUILDING!
I did?
AAAAHHHHH!!!

 

by DragonXero
2-27-09
Y'know, I really hate it when normally random funyn comics try to have some dramatic storyline.
Hey. Did it just get rainbowy?
What? Let's go get something to eat.

 

by DragonXero
2-27-09
What the hell?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING BUILDINGS?!

 

by DragonXero
3-06-09
Y'know, they're naming a street in New York after U2.
Oh goddammit. Be back in a while.
I TOLD YOU TO KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF!

 

by DragonXero
3-10-09
So Xero, what do you think is worse, ignorance or apathy?
Well?
I bet he'll hit that poodle.
AAAAAHHHHH!

 

by DragonXero
3-24-09
Someday, all the new users on Stripcreator will look up and shout "Make comics for us!"
And I'll whisper "Your fly's undone".
Then I'll push them off the building.
OH MY GOD! IS HE DEAD?!

 

by DragonXero
3-26-09
Hello me, meet the real me and my misfits way of life. A dark black past is my most valued posession.
Wait, what the fuck... What year is it?
2009 bitch. Lemme guess, you're from around 2001 or so?
WHAT THE FUCK?! This can't be happening, I-
Hrm. I was going to start quoting fade to black, but I guess we've ruled out one possibility in time travel.

 

by DragonXero
3-28-09
Well Britney, there's nothing particularly wrong with it, it's just big.
Oh doc, thank you, that's so go-
Really, really big. We're talking Lil' Smokies down an airport terminal big here.

 

by DragonXero
3-31-09
Stop it.
Stop what?
I can fly, you idiot. You can't push me off the building.
Wh- me? Oh come on. I wouldn't-
YOU'RE STILL PUSHING ME!

 

Religious freak.
I'm going to cuff you to a stove and burn down the building.
by DragonXero, 3-31-09

 

by DragonXero
4-06-09
So, I've got Linux running on my laptop now.
Who are you? What am I doing on top of this building?
You see, it's incredibly stable, even if it does run slower than Windows on my laptop. Very stable.
What are you-
Unlike that skateboard I tied your feet to. Woohoo! land snowboarding!
AAAAAHHHH!!!

 

by DragonXero
4-17-09
So, congressman Eric Massa is fighting for all us internet nerds who love to download stuff and watch youtube videos.
He's trying to make it illegal for broadband companies to put caps on downloads.
That's the last time I send nuclear waste to Congress. I didn't know I was going to make a goddamn superhero.

 

by DragonXero
4-22-09
EARTH!
FIRE!
WIND!
WATER!
COCK!
BY YOUR POWERS COM- wait, cock?

 

by DragonXero
4-28-09
TURN OFF THAT FUCKING LIGHT!
Damn kids and your drugs and your music.

 

by DragonXero
4-28-09
Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit...
Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit...
SAUSAGES!

 

by DragonXero
4-28-09
You have reached level 80!
Shit yeah, now I can get to the real fun.
I need you to get me 30 flagons of mead and 12 boar tusks.
Fuck you! I don't have to do quests anymore. I'm level 80.
Each time you complete this task, I shall reward you with a cooking award! You need these to buy new recipes!
Sonofa- That was 14 boar flanks, right sir?
Moh.

 

by DragonXero
6-02-09
Okay, so just say "yarrrr" for yes and "matey" for no. Got it?
Matey.
Wait, if you don't- Okay, now I'm confused.

 

by DragonXero
7-06-09
I'm a Windows machine.
And I'm a Mac- hey wait, you're supposed to say that you're a PC.
We're both PCs. I just happen to run Windows, and you run Mac OSX. Apart from minor hardware specializations, we're essentially the same.
Well when you put it that w-
See? You can even crash. Into a Mercedes. From 50 floors up.
Aaaaaaaaah!!! *crunch*

 

by DragonXero
8-07-09
We're in an even deeper debt than we were during Court Jester Bush's reign.
We're still knee-deep in the politics of the sand people. And we are buying up companies that fail left and right.
Maybe Obama's campaign slogan should have been "Got Any Change?"

 

by DragonXero
9-23-09
Down with the white man! We were forced here as slaves under your rule!
Oh, is that so? Well then, where's your family from?
I have traced my roots back to Kenya.
Oh! Kenya! So then, you're wanting to go for a visit someday?
Of course, I would love to visit the motherland.
Well, you better pack a cup, might need it when the men there try to cut off your clitoris.

 

by DragonXero
11-29-09
Yeah! What's up everywawn?! Time to ROCK THIS VILLIAGE! C'mon, you all know the words to this next one!
Welcome to the jungle! We got fun and ga- JESUS CHRIST! A BEAR!
5 minutes later...
Well, now I can say I've anally violated Axl Rose!

 

by DragonXero
12-02-09
Okay, I'll be Germany, you can be Poland.
Wait what?
I'm gonna invade you, baby.
First, I think you should meet my boyfriend, England.
Hi there.
Shit.

 

by DragonXero
12-04-09
Y'know, you seem like a kinda "glass-half-empty" kinda guy to me.
Not true! In truth, the glass is but a container that has not fully realized its potential storage capacity.
Uh-huh...
While this is a waste of potential storage, it also reduces the probability of accidental spillage and allows for a greater potential of increased actual storage, not just capacity.
I have no idea what the hell you're talking about.
We're talking about storage containers utilizing fifty-percent of their capacity. Try to keep up, please.

 

by DragonXero
2-07-10
Boy! Ah say, boy! Ya'll cain't catch worms lahk that!
Who the fuck you callin' boy, chicken?!
Why, ah'm callin' that lil' chick over there boy! He ain't none too smart. Who you callin' a chiken?
I'm callin' you a chicken, original recipe.
Ah uh, think ah hear mah coop callin'.
There ain't no lil' chick over there!

 

It's the ones that won't stop screaming that bother me the most.
by DragonXero, 2-07-10

 

You were right. I'm glad we didn't walk all the way to Mount Doom.
by DragonXero, 3-06-10

 

by DragonXero
4-20-10
Hey, I asked for cheese on this burger.
Okay, I'll get someone to make you another one.
No, no, you see, there's just no cheese on this one. You can put cheese on this one.
Um...
Let's start over again. Hi, I'd like to order a slice of cheese.
That will be 89 cents please.

 

by DragonXero
5-20-10
Greetings, swine. How are you today?
I'm quite well, my good man. Would you care to join me for some fine wine?
That would be wonderful!
Here, it's about a hundred years old.
You know, I can't imagine people ever eating your kind. In fact, if I could, I'd make it illegal.
Well that would just be swell, Muhammed.

 

by DragonXero
9-23-10
I have to get this abortion done!
Isn't this your like, third one this year?
Hey, it's my body and I can do what I want with it.
I'm not denying that. Just thinking you might try something other than abortion once in a while.
Hey, I didn't plan to get pregnant!
What *exactly* did you think having sex was for?

 

by DragonXero
9-23-10
Okay Mr. High-and-mighty-pro-lifer, what SHOULD I do with the baby?
Actually, I'm no a pro-lifer, I just don't think it should be used as a form of birth control.
Fine, then, what should I do?
I don't know, condoms, the pill, the patch, IUD?
And if those don't work?
You could try closing your legs.

 

by DragonXero
9-23-10
Abortion is murder!
Really? Hey bud, let's say you get a tumor. It's feeding off your body, draining you and growing slowly, causing immense pain. What would you do?
Ugh, I hope that never happens to me. I'd go to the doctor and get it removed, if possible.
As would I.
... Wait, HEY! Babies aren't tumors!
Haven't you ever been to the grocery store on the first of the month?

 

by DragonXero
9-23-10
Dammit, where am I? This is the last time I go binge drinking. Oh, sweet, people!
Allah! Muhammed Jihad!
Durkha durkha, muhammed, muhammed jihad!
Statement: These meatbags appear to speak an ancient dialect only found on Tattooine. Shall I blast them, master?
Not yet HK-47, let's see if they have any good quest rewards.

 

by DragonXero
9-23-10
As president of the United States of America, I plan to increase liberties and decrease spending.
Does that mean those of us who are homosexuals can finally get married?
Yeah. Fags get to marry. And I get to call them fags. Everyone wins. Next question?
So what about us? Can pedophiles finally get married? NAMBLA demands an answer!
Sure, you kiddy-fiddlers can marry each other.
That- Hey, wait...

 

by DragonXero
9-23-10
Effective immediately, all government officials will earn the same wage as mail carriers
As your president, I will be the first to take this pay cut, I wi-
I've just heard from Congress that Mail Carriers are now expected to earn 3 million a year. Pardon me, my bat and I have something to discuss with Congress.

 

by DragonXero
9-26-10
EA Games:
Our games are getting pirated! What are we going to do?
Easy. We put on DRM and punish those assholes who buy our games.
But, what about the piracy?
We're going to stop it by making our games so unpopular, even the pirates don't want them.
Meanwhile, at Blizzard Studios:
Hey, did you hear? Some people downloaded World of Warcraft!
Okay. Hey, let's go get drunk and have a cash fight.

 

by DragonXero
9-26-10
Aren't you worried that we might lose money from piracy?!
Not really. They can't play the game without being connected to the servers anyway.
But, they didn't buy the game in the first place, we lose money there right?
They have to pay for an account to create a server.
So, cash fight you say?
And booze!

 

by DragonXero
9-28-10
Okay, what the hell? Won't you turn on?
*bzz* *whirrr* *clcik*
Oh come on, dammit, turn-
I don't think I can just replace the power supply this time.

 

by DragonXero
10-25-10
Hey Ted, I bet I can get anorexic teenagers to drink cups full of vinegar.
You are so on.
http://technorati.com/lifestyle/article/vinegar-clinically-proven-to-destroy-fat/
Clinical trials commencing.
There's no way this is going to work.
Pay up, Ted.
Goddammit.

 

by DragonXero
1-01-11
Hey Futureman, do we have flying cars yet?
No...
Oh. Going back to hibernate for another year then.
We have jetpacks- Oh, dammit, too late.

 

by DragonXero
5-17-11
You know, I love organic foods.
I refuse to eat anything but organic foods now.
I mean, really, who wants a silicon-based sandwich?

 

by DragonXero
5-17-11
Woohoo! Hit 85! Now I can- Oh hell, not you again.
Ready for some daily quests in a PVP zone with a bunch of 13 year olds geared to the teeth?
Go to hell! I'm gonna run some heroics.
Have fun!
Sucker.

 

by DragonXero
5-17-11
Okay, I've already done this quest six times, I kill you, I take your Ankh, I use the Ankh to free the murlocks, then I turn it in, so...
ARCANE SHOT!
OH GOD WHY
Eleven more of these fucking things and I can finally get some new gloves.
I hate alts...

 

by DragonXero
7-07-11
I don't know, I just don't like Mexican goatfish.
I didn't like it either, until I found this way to cook it.
Mmmhm. Yeah. Okay yeah, Mexican goatfish still tastes like candied ass.
You hate my cooking!
No, I hate Mexican goatfish. I can't judge your cooking until you use something I actually like.
I'm a failure!

 

by DragonXero
1-12-12
*fsssssht* *klok*
OH MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! You have to refrigerate that after opening!
But I just broke the seal.
Who knows what kind of horrible diseases could get in there?!
Oh come on, they taste fine.

 

by DragonXero
7-09-12
Here, let me get that door for you.
Fuck you! I can open my own door!
Huh, that was a bit rude.
You didn't put the toilet seat down, asshole!
I figured you could put your own seat down.

 

by DragonXero
7-12-15
Thank you for calling Carning Health Care, with whom do I have the pleasure of speaking?
GO FUCK YOURSELVES!
Hi Go Fuck, how're you doing today?
A pox upon your house!
Okay, so you're interested in your sick office visit benefits, is that right?
This is Go Fuck's wife, My Pussy Aches.

 

by DragonXero
7-12-15
Okay Mrs. Aches, what can I help you with?
You assholes paid my claim wrong!
Oh, wow, I'm sorry to hear that. Can I get the date of service?
No, fuck you! Pay me money!
I'm afraid we can only pay you in goat anuses. Would you mind holding for 3-5 minutes while I get that ready for you?
Are the goat anuses clean?

 

by DragonXero
7-12-15
I'm afraid the goat anuses are not clean. I apologize. Did you have any questions about what we went over today?
Let me talk to your supervisor!
Certainly, let me get you connected to my supervisor.
Oh thank God.
WHERE THE SHIT AM I?! DO YOU KNOW THE DOORBELL?
... I'll call back later.

 

by DragonXero
7-12-15
DID YOU GET THE GOAT ANUS?
Look, I'm sorry... I just wanted to figure out why the doctor was charging me for a sick visit when I just went in for a preventive visit.
DID HE FIDDLE YOUR COOTER?
Okay, okay! I had a bit of a cough. I guess he didn't want to put a preventive visit onfor a sick office.
I SMELL LIKE CANDY TIRES!
Yeah, that will be all. Thank you.

Showing page 28.

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