All comics by dcomposed

Profile

 

by dcomposed
6-10-07
Who is your favourite African American actor?
Charlize Theron.
I don't think she's American.
God don't make me choose a nigger.

 

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by dcomposed
6-12-07
Well, you've finally won your first professional golf tournament.
Are you worried people are going to compare you to Woods?
I don't think so.
Don played in the NFL and I'm a pro golfer so I don't know why that would happen.

 

1
by dcomposed
7-11-07
I saw Samuel L. Jackson at McDonalds. I said hey Samuel L. Jackson I really liked your acting in the film The Sixth Sense. He said that wasn't me that was Bruce Willis. I suppose I was confused becaus
e they're both bald.
Bruce Willis wasn't bald in The Sixth Sense.
What am I, a doctor?

 

2
by dcomposed
7-11-07
I saw Haley Joel Osment at McDonalds. I said hey Haley Joel Osment why don't you have a salad you fat fuck.
Haley Joel Osment isn't fat.
I didn't have my glasses on.
How did you know it was Haley Joel Osment?

 

3
by dcomposed
7-11-07
I also saw Jay-Z at McDonalds I said hey Jay-Z what do you think this is, KFC?
That is not nice.
He actually was looking for a KFC but couldn't find one, so I told him where one was.
So shut the fuck up.

 

4
by dcomposed
7-11-07
I also saw Britney Spears at McDonalds.
Was she wearing underwear?
I don't know, I only saw her on the toilet.

 

5
by dcomposed
7-11-07
I also saw Justin Timberlake at McDonalds. He was bringing sexy back.
Apparently it wasn't what he ordered.

 

6
by dcomposed
7-11-07
I also saw the celebrity "Mario" at McDonalds.
The popular R&B singer?
No, the video game character.
Actually maybe it was Donkey Kong.

 

7
by dcomposed
7-11-07
Do we have an update on the South Korea situation?
Yes we do.
It's still there.

 

8
by dcomposed
7-11-07
May I borrow your AK-47 please?
What for?
I want to go hunting.
And shoot you in the head.

 

9
by dcomposed
7-11-07
I am confused by trying to save the environment. Some people say drive electric powered cars and some people say don't use electricity. So I came up with my own solution.
What is it?
Not giving a shit.

 

by dcomposed
7-11-07
Will you help me with my crossword?
2 down: your mother.
Wh--e.

 

by dcomposed
7-11-07
I admit my heart is not in this.
Where is it?
I donated it to science.
You should have waited until after you died.
What if I die of a heart attack?

 

by dcomposed
7-11-07
Do you know any funny jokes?
No.
Dog on a ball LOL!!

 

by dcomposed
7-11-07
Do you want to see my impersonation of Martin Lawrence?
Not really.
Dog on a ball LOL!!
His character from Bad Boys.

 

by dcomposed
7-11-07
Dog on a ball LOL!!
Jesus on a ball!!
Aw :(

 

by dcomposed
7-11-07
I think you should know I called in a favour with President George W. Bush and it is now illegal to be Asian.
You're Asian too.
No I'm not. I'm a
Dog on a ball LOL!!

 

by dcomposed
7-11-07
I want to tell you a very valuable story you will never forget.
when a man loves a woman he
Dog on a ball LOL!!

 

by dcomposed
7-11-07
Dog on a ball LOL!!
Well this is fun but I've really got to get home or my wife will not be happy. She is a real bitch.
Oh I get it, she is a dog too.
No.

 

by dcomposed
7-11-07
I went to the zoo and do you know what I saw?
Was it a
Dog on a ball LOL!!
Nah just a bunch of monkeys and shit.

 

by dcomposed
7-11-07
Speaking of monkeys, are you aware that black people actually look more like monkeys than they do white people?
I don't think that's true. Where did you hear it?
On a television program. Niggers: Why Don't They Just Fuck Off?
I suppose Nickelodeon wouldn't really know.

 

by dcomposed
7-11-07
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence!!
Dog on a ball LOL!!
Seriously though, I do fence repairs, so give me a call if an elephant does sit on your fence.

 

by dcomposed
7-11-07
Do you like to eat soup?
Yeah. Do you?
I soupose so!

 

by dcomposed
7-11-07
I am writing a letter to Johnny.
Who is Johnny?
That's my new pen pal.
Whoa what the fuck is a pen?

 

by dcomposed
7-11-07
Oh you mean Kal Penn the actor?
Kal Penn is your pal! Wow, he is so cool!
Dog on a bal LOL!!

 

by dcomposed
7-11-07
You know what I say to bitches?
I say let's not be silly, you can suck my willy. My rhymes are so chilly I've got 30 milly!! WORD!!
Does milly mean million?
How the fuck would I know?

 

by dcomposed
7-11-07
Will you help me find my penis please, I have lost it.
Is it in your pants?
You are a sick fuck.

 

by dcomposed
7-11-07
What is the weather like up there?
Oh it's very chilly here in Alaska. Back to you in the studio.

 

by dcomposed
7-11-07
Did you hear about the proffesional wrestler who murdered his family?
Was it Hulk Hogan?
No.
Damn, now you've made me sad.

 

by dcomposed
7-11-07
Jesus, I have travelled for years to find you and ask you a question.
What is it?
Who played Howling Mad Murdock on The A-Team?
I don't fucking know, I died thousands of years ago.

 

by dcomposed
7-11-07
Hey Jesus, I already have a wife, but I also fuck a man on the side.
Well you are really only supposed to have sex with your wife. And you are not allowed to fuck a dude.
Because I will go to hell?
No, because that shit's gross dude.

 

by dcomposed
7-11-07
So you are saying I shouldn't have sex with a man.
Usually I would, but anyone who looks like you do should really take whatever he can get.
How do you even have a wank without killing yourself after?

 

by dcomposed
7-11-07
It's not just the hair or the glasses or all the fat.
Or the fact that you are the most boring person I have ever met.
God I wish I would hurry up and die.

 

by dcomposed
7-11-07
Do you want to see a magic trick?
Check this shit out.
Dog on a ball LOL!!

 

by dcomposed
7-11-07
Hey check this shit out.
No you check this shit out.
Dog on a ball LOL!!
Jesus on a cross LOL!! Oh look at me I've been crucified boo hoo!
That's not cool dude.
Suck it.

 

by dcomposed
8-23-07
Hey get the fuck out of here cow.
You just showed your lactose intolorance.

 

come on guys it doesn't smell that bad
by dcomposed, 8-23-07

 

by dcomposed
9-06-07
Hi I'm John Cusack and I've made ten good films.
Yeah that sounds about right.
I was trying to appear humble you little slut.

 

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by dcomposed
9-20-07
Now don't be stealing any turnips while I'm gone.
Yo you ignant, mother fucker.
Do you understand the irony in calling me ignorant just now?
Ignorant? I aint say ignorant nigga I said ignant.
Who ignant now bitch?

 

by dcomposed
10-23-07
I fucked your mum.
That makes two of us.
I would kill a dude for half that amount of jokes.

 

by dcomposed
10-23-07
you got a fag homie?
nah I quit.
are you going to make the joke or should I?

 

by dcomposed
11-07-07
would you like to see a poorly thought out joke that wouldn't be funny if it had been thought through?
I am really gay for Leninism at the moment.
Yeah well I think Marxism is awesome.
What about you?
I'm not really into music.

 

Did you manage to get her in the sack?
Yeah but I had to cut her up first.
by dcomposed, 11-09-07

 

by dcomposed
11-09-07
Remember that time we were in church and we saw Brad Pitt?
No.

 

by dcomposed
11-09-07
What were we supposed to talk about?
I'll see if I can remember.
This contest will revolve around the middle panel. The middle panel must be silent (no speech OR thought bubbles) and must be of a memory that the characters in the other two panels are talking about.
Well you've wrecked it now.

 

by dcomposed
11-09-07
Son, have you accepted Jesus Christ as your savior?
No.
Jesus accepted Tobor.

 

by dcomposed
11-11-07
Today I am a proud man. I have managed to make 2000 comics on the internet.
And to think you're not even 40 yet.
Remarkable, isn't it?
Yeah.
Your life shouldn't be this empty already.

 

by dcomposed
11-11-07
I'd better get going, tonight is number 3000.
You made another 1000 comics already?
No.
After tonight I will have dated 3000 guys under 25.

 

by dcomposed
11-11-07
Every day I say something to you but you just stare at me and don't reply.
Do you have a response?
Yeah but I'm saving it for a comic.

 

by dcomposed
11-11-07
Hey old man, I just took a shit on your car!
Oh yeah?
Yeah! And there's nothing you can do about it.
Would you please register on a website so I can ban you?

Showing page 28.

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