All comics by ArtemisStrong

Profile

 

by ArtemisStrong
1-21-03
Down At The "Lab"...
So I says, "That Loch aint gonna' generate Mesozoic Era sea reptiles by itself."
Yuck-Yuck-Yuck!
Wait, I've seen photographic evidence that backs up those claims.

 

by ArtemisStrong
1-21-03
Don't be shy, little girl. I wont bite.

 

by ArtemisStrong
1-23-03
I don't see any corrals or saloons or any other such stuff. You sure this is Dodge?
Dodge... dodge... Where have I heard that name before?

 

by ArtemisStrong
1-23-03
Ba-Pow! I shoot you!
OWWWwww... OW!
Do I know you?
Yeah... sorta'. Let's fuck!
You always lie to me! I'll shoot you!
Nahhh, you'll forget about this shortly, and then we can resume killing sumbags. Scumbags, even.

 

by ArtemisStrong
1-23-03
What the fuck are you talking about?
So I says, "Those rotor turbines aren't gonna' generate nucleotides all by themselves!"

 

by ArtemisStrong
1-23-03
HE NALES TEH FOOKIN" BITCH!!11!!
That wont help will it?
IM GONA NALE YOU HOAR!
What if I were to say I had full-blown AIDS?

 

by ArtemisStrong
1-23-03
RARRR!!! TOBOR CORNHOLE!!!
Christ!
CHRIST, CHRIST!CHRIST, CHRIST!CHRIST, CHRIST! CHRIST, CHRIST!
Oh, you just done fucked up, cap'n!
Hey, J.C.! What can you do about my fookin' sister-in-law? Fookin' cunts always up in my shit, y'know. Christ!
Well, for one, can you cut the cursing? Short of that, could you at least not take my name in vein right in front of me?

 

by ArtemisStrong
1-23-03
Okay, here we go. Two young guys headed out to discover their destinies!
Destinies? I thought we were trying to find Vegas' loosest slots.
Wherever our paths take us, we will follow, and that is where we will be.
Well my path is leading to some cheap casino margaritas.
I don't think Vegas is such a good place to begin a spiritual journey.
No, but it is a good place to start on an all seafood buffet! 30 lbs. of shrimp, here I come!

 

by ArtemisStrong
1-23-03
Jesus! It's c-c-c-old up here!
You're telling me?
Why are we here again?
Again? I never told you in the first place. Why don't you stop straining yourself and go gather some firewood.
Mere Moments Later:
You got any wood, man?
Y-yes... B-back in my bedroom. Follow me!

 

by ArtemisStrong
1-23-03
So THIS is the fabled Colorado that has moved many the quill of a poet enraptured by it's sublime beauty.
Well, their volunteer fire department is the best, bar none.
So... let's grab some Rocky Mountain Oysters!
What are "Rocky Mountain Oysters" and what do they have to do with enlightenment?
Oh... I'll tell you after you eat a bucket of them...

 

by ArtemisStrong
1-23-03
So... Paris?
Land of Brie, Wine-Imbibery and Smelly Prostitutes!
I hate Brie.
Well, I love it! So you can hush up now and let security probe your orifices!
Mere Hours Later:
Your ideas suck meaty crank, you realize that?
Shut-up and wrestle that parachute out of that pregnant crippled ladies' hands!

 

by ArtemisStrong
1-23-03
Germany, ey? Seems like an alright place to me, I guess.
Yah... it's pretty calm- What THE HELL is going on over there?
MELTDOWN! MELTDOWN!
EVACUATE! ALL PERSONALE MUST EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY! FUSION CORE IS APPROACHING TOTAL MAXIMUM EXPLOSIVE POTENTIAL!
Well, there was a real forced and contrived action sequence!
For sure! Wanna' go grab a brew?

 

by ArtemisStrong
1-23-03
This bar's decor is atrocious. I give it two stars!
Harsh. Hey, aren't you wondering if you finally attained true enlightenment?
Oh... I spose. So... Did I?
The answer lies within, my friend.
Ohhh... so, the path we choose, that is the truth. We cannot go into the past, and the future stands unchangable before us. We can only focus on the present, for only there can we experience peace?
You really don't get it, do you? Ahhh... Why don't you just finish your beer so we can head home? American Idol is on in half an hour, anyway.

 

by ArtemisStrong
1-24-03
QUAC!

 

by ArtemisStrong
1-24-03
Je Suis Solitaire... Quack!

 

by ArtemisStrong
1-25-03
I think I'm supposed to be heading up over that mountain range. Maybe I should pitch a tent bef-
(FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!)
-crap.
(FRANTIC MUSIC!)
You're not as big nor as evil as I thought you'd be.
Yeh, well... Let's get to it, then. Garrr... (Casts Haste on himself).

 

by ArtemisStrong
1-25-03
(Casts DeSpell on monster.)
(Casts Poison on 99.)
(Casts Transform on Monster.)
Uh-oh.
Can't Escape!
Crap.
(Casts NALE.)

 

by ArtemisStrong
1-26-03
There's this new kid at school, Bee Lee Ding. I really hate her. She's snotty and rich.
Do you think she could be Mayan?
Mayan? Nah, sis, Be Lee Ding...
...doesn't sound Mayan. Yah, you're right.

 

by ArtemisStrong
1-30-03
The other day, on the chair, I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today.
Oh how I wish he wasn't gay!
Ohhh, your ass is hair-ah-REE! You're a lil' bear cub, aintcha'?

 

by ArtemisStrong
1-30-03
Time takes a big penis, sticks it in yo' mouth.
SUCK IT, BEEYATCH!
You pull on a nipple, then another nipple, then another penis.
Tug 'em. Hard.
You're a Stripcreator rape victim.
YOU TOOK IT ALL! YOU'RE WONDERFUL!

 

by ArtemisStrong
2-02-03
It's supposed to be 2025, stupid!
Yah! Two-Oh!
Oh, sorry girls. Lemme just switch the dial to "2025" and... Ta-Da! Here we ARE!
Now you're in 5202!
Nice job, hotshot!
Oh my... Uhm... Okay... Allow me to try again. Uhhh... let's see... Dial it up to 2025... and... Is this right now?
Ha-Ha! We were just kidding before! Actually, you WERE in 2025!
Ha! Yah, now, you are in 2005! So take us back to 2025, dipshit!

 

by ArtemisStrong
2-02-03
Uhm... Boo... I like 'em and all, but I think the whole cloning process may not hold up so well after multiple clonings. Just a thought, really.
ass.

 

by ArtemisStrong
2-03-03
Heyyyy... S' been while, eh? Wot up?
Not much. Not much, nosiree.
So... Uh... Hey! Do you still make comics on DuPont Media/AOL-Time-Disney's website, "Pepsi's 'WWE/Nesquick World WILD Web Presents: Blockbuster-Strip-O-Mater'"?
That one hosted by the Osbourne kids? Nahh, my brain implant is on the fritz. So, no INTELINSIDEnet for me right now, Drexle.
Ahh... Too, too bad. I really miss some of your lousy puns, Kaufman.
KAUFMAN? I-I'm LARA! ... Fucking bastard id-jit...

 

by ArtemisStrong
2-03-03
Only dead whores are worth fucking!
That must be rather limiting for your sex life.
Nope.

 

by ArtemisStrong
2-03-03
I see you finally got that promotion you wanted, BigEvilDan!
I'm not the only one doing well, am I... GENERAL Obvious?

 

by ArtemisStrong
2-06-03
Down At The Lard Factory...
So, then I says, "Them boiling pots of animal fat aint gonna make their OWN donuts!"
Ha-Ha-Ha!
What the fuck is a Pets De Soeurs?

 

by ArtemisStrong
2-10-03
There is a lot of gossip about Brad making the rounds currently. Allow me to verify a few. First, it is TRUE he has some weird... shall we say... "fetishes"...
Did you bring the marshmallow "Peeps"?
Dey are right here in mine backpack! (DANCING EROTICALLY!)
Brad has several thousand aliases on SC. In fact, the only accounts that aren't his are mine, Kaufman's and Bedlam0331's...
"Brad, you are so sexy!"
"I know Brad. I find you sexy, too!"
And, most shocking of all, is the revelation that BRAD IS NOT CANADIAN!
Herda-Gerda Bing-a Bood-a, BORK BORK BORK BORK!
Wood yew like some of ze weed now?

 

by ArtemisStrong
2-10-03
...and the prefessor responds "That's no hydroxolion, that's my wife!"
Ha Ha!
Where the fuck have I heard that before?

 

by ArtemisStrong
2-13-03
Magic stapler?
Are you here? I... I NEED you!
I'm here, you just can't see me.

 

by ArtemisStrong
2-16-03
And gonna of turbine aint of rotor ' with monopolized ones gravitons! " Occurring so the I to him
The Ha-ha which is said!
The fuck it is you whom you speak, concerning something?

 

by ArtemisStrong
2-16-03
The Wehn loves the human woman.
FUCKING FEMALE DOG OF TEH OF HIS NALE!
AT THE TIME OF AMPERE! POLEECE! THAT IS RAPE!
As for taht sexaly satasfing!
That shed im of now when it hurts entirely! But I the reely loved that!

 

by ArtemisStrong
2-16-03
Acceptance namely the monkey, I you bought the indentured employee because it is I! Now ' my doc Martens profit do to the scrubbin!
After the nap certainty.
Exactly a little! The hole it went here high in the return, it does, does, and washes!
The Dude, I am tired. If you start, when me stand rising, do I work namely finish acceptance?
Health... acceptance, but exactly 1 time this!
Appreciation. Do I as for standpoint of the citizen nation of Ohio state which the time is perhaps placed in because of the pot of the coffee rise in regard to you? The that'd is large appreciation!

 

by ArtemisStrong
2-16-03
We would like to dance?
Pantsless miracle, which we would like to press?
Do we desire the fact that it dances?
It? Did vomiting reach? Their shirt?
We long for this fact it dance?
He? When this ass aiming at the back right promise? This crew!

 

by ArtemisStrong
2-16-03
It is a lower part of the arrest which spreads out.
For what?
Middle aged eye rape and murder of distant woman.
Getlteman of the Ohio state my most love! (BUTTERFLY VALVE!) As for me it is possible at many to strike this nail of my skull in the straight line deeply with the hammer!
That is not hindered. Equally is accepted as for these you the time jail is the gun the skull which nails fast is one great quantity!

 

by ArtemisStrong
2-17-03
I am hard, sexual intercourse flaw!
Approval, as what this case it reproaches us whom it spreads out?
We spot ourselves in the national dissemination of the type of "Crock Country" and the volume surrounds in this wooden wooden floor?
Only if we use the “Crock Country” with "added additional soccer". And then what?
We could do, do not know me not... suck you the every different one dicks?
Many sodomy it needs.

 

by ArtemisStrong
2-17-03
Abusive language of God! This thing now operates well?
MENU: COLOR, BRIGHT, SHARP, COLOR. PUBLICATION OF “MENU” GIVING UP.
Work of which 1 making DVD? Perhaps... this, whether? < the sound, dust >
THE TIMER WAS PUT IN PLACE: 00:00:00
Uhm... as for uhhh... this? < the sound, dust > This? < the sound, dust > THIS? < the sound, dust >
THANKS THE ORDERING "The Osseous and Hairy Join-Babies 4"! YOUR EXPOSURE BEGINS IN 5 MINUTEREN.

 

by ArtemisStrong
2-19-03
HEY! COME BACK! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH A 2 FOOT ROOSTER!!
Who you talking to, chief?
That damned genie. He really fucked up my wish here, but he just vanished. What a moron!
Eh, it sounds like he's getting a little better. Consider yourself lucky.
Lucky? I find that hard to agree with.
Hmm. Maybe you'd be convinced if I took you to meet the girl who wound up with large, perky wrists.

 

by ArtemisStrong
2-19-03
Hey, Magicat. I wish I could use Kaddar's new characters on stripcreator.
Wish granted.
I am a magic fairy. I will grant you one wish.
You're no fairy, you're just that crappy "threereasons" clipart girl that anyone barely ever uses!
Maybe you have some use for me?
I don't need any stinkin' fairies!

 

by ArtemisStrong
2-20-03
I just ate the school bully, and now I can't breathe! What's wrong with me?!
You fool! Did you forget? You're Asmatic!

 

by ArtemisStrong
2-20-03
Cthulu, you have such amazing powers! Could you use them to grant me my life's one wish: The Greatest Sandwich In The World?
Sure, 'kay. *Chanting: (rizzle-drizzle-frizzle-dizzle, sandwich so good, it's the shizzle)
OHHH! A bread-bacon-bacon-potato scone-egg-potato scone-bacon-bacon-bread sandwich!
Go 'head, eat it.
MMMM... so good, so good. It tastes like- GAHHH! (DIES!!!)
CTHULUED!!!!

 

by ArtemisStrong
3-02-03
Nice costume... sorta'.
What? You don't like? Do I not look Canadian enough?
It's not that... Have you even been watching the CNN coverage?
No... wh-wh-why?
Brad is dead.
Damnit, Gabe, why must you have shunned television! Stupid Gabe, Stupid Gabe!

 

by ArtemisStrong
3-05-03
As for that my clothes entirely it is the Spankling in pulling?
To be good, that leh that. You let escape exclude with the fact of basic detail to.
What?
As for your anus } crap of anh C { not bleeding.
No I?
As for consolation as for the disposition where the external house enters, me there being extensive immediately it is good, it is possibility of our repairs!

 

by ArtemisStrong
3-05-03
You're my butterfly namely sugar namely baby!
You're my butterfly namely sugar namely baby! You're my butterfly namely sugar namely baby!
As for you my butterfly namely sugar namely baby! You're my butterfly namely sugar namely baby! You're my butterfly namely sugar namely baby!

 

by ArtemisStrong
3-05-03
... heheheh. Just joking, of course.
GRRR! PIG!
ACK!
(PUNCH! STAB! KILL!)
NOTE TO ME: Women don't find it funny when you tease them about their menstrual cycles.

 

by ArtemisStrong
3-06-03
Asiangirl, I'm gonna need your help. It's time to sell Stripcreator.
What do I do, Brad?
Well, I'm having some potential buyers over for brunch. Mayhaps you could whet their whistle for the sorts of things ownership offers...
You mean... shake my tight little ass as I pour the Kool-Aid? Maybe, even, "accidentally" spill some on my white tee-shirt?
I thought you'd only do that for ME!
Hey, big-man, this is business! Do you wanna' sell this bitch, or not?

 

by ArtemisStrong
3-07-03
Early in 2001:
This site's pretty nifty and all. So what's donating all about? Why would I want to donate to a free website?
Uh... Well... There are some exclusive fringe benefits donors can... uhh... take advantage of...
Tired of having your genitals rubbing against the inside of your underwear? Is applying cream a complete pain in the....
cough* You need new "CLOWN_CUPS", that's right, for $10 a month you can have a clown cup your testicles all day, while you get on with life!
Where the fuck do I sign up, man!
I'm gonna be rolling in the
BL!NG-BL!NG$ if everyone loves gay clowns as much as this drunk does!

 

by ArtemisStrong
3-08-03
If I had a gun, I'd be pointing it at you. Like this.
Wait, you're not that guy who ran off with my wife, are you?
*bleat*

 

by ArtemisStrong
3-08-03
Quack?

 

by ArtemisStrong
3-09-03
It was just another peaceful night in Texas...
Until suddenly, a low pitched whistle pierced the stillness. Then, a perfervid flame streaked down from space, cutting a swath through the night sky. And then, mere moments later:
. . . _ . . . Systems Online_ . . . Status Check. . . All Devices Normal- - - {To.bor Activated}

 

by ArtemisStrong
3-09-03
{Run: Search for sentient beings.} All initial readings suggest this planet is strikingly similar to my planet of origin.
bbbbBBBBBBLLLLL-
Ok, now THAT is just weird.
LLLLLLLRRRRRrrrrr...

Showing page 3.

« Previous Next »